OtherGround Forums Found out my girl was cheating on me

4/20/17 9:28 AM
2/3/16
Posts: 2112
Pics dude, NOW!
4/20/17 9:29 AM
9/30/15
Posts: 276

Dude, he was just taking a shower, nothing else.

4/20/17 9:30 AM
10/6/15
Posts: 2478

Make a clean break dude. Here's some motivation:

 

4/20/17 9:32 AM
3/4/10
Posts: 7621
30 years old. Happened to me just last week too, friend. On my birthday.

I thought she was one of the rare "good girls".
I'm really trying not to let this experience turn me into a bitter person and stay positive of a future relationship.
4/20/17 9:35 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 72526
4/20/17 9:38 AM
12/16/11
Posts: 5594
JitzInMyPants - 30 years old. Happened to me just last week too, friend. On my birthday.

I thought she was one of the rare "good girls".
I'm really trying not to let this experience turn me into a bitter person and stay positive of a future relationship.

My theory is holding strong at 100%, if the words "jitz" or "jits" is your vocabulary its a telltale sign that your girlfriend will cheat on you.

4/20/17 9:39 AM
7/12/14
Posts: 476
Don't think about trust right now bro, just plow through women until you find one worth trusting. I've been there, it sucks but it wasn't your choice to cheat, it was hers. Keep your integrity.
4/20/17 9:43 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 72530
Z NEDCMK1 - 

Should have kicked her to the curb the first time she was fucking him.

I am not sure why you would come back from a "break" that was instigated by her and another man, when the same man is still in the picture.

Get movin' on OP.


First red flag should always be the last red flag.
Edited: 4/20/17 9:45 AM
4/20/11
Posts: 15722
baj54 -

Best advice I could give you is to ruin that mfers life. He knew she had a boyfriend. No way you hook up with a chick that long and not know she has a boyfriend. All's fair in love and war, scorched earth policy. Second if your ex has a sister go fuck that bitch good or maybe even her mom if you can handle that dirty deed. Next go get your ass in the gym and start smashing some strange. Be that guy who is the dickhead. Dgaf about anything but money, pussy, and more money. Your not over it because if you were you'd be making a thread about smashing pussy instead of wiping your tears away with this thread. Now go man up.

I agree that this is very tempting. However I agree with Ned in that OP does NOT want to get bogged down with this situation any more than he has. Not to mention if he (rightfully) ruins that motherfuckers marriage which destroys the guy with divorce you don't know what the retribution might be.

The guy might try to have a vengeance killing in return. No joke. It's not worth having that loose end floating out there. 

OP, just move on. Best of luck, mate.

4/20/17 9:48 AM
3/14/16
Posts: 9496
Furious White Belt -
ThreadKiller -

Stop dating sluts, no offense, but the red flags are always there. 

True friend. She was a shy, family oriented girl but I definetely overlooked some things that I shouldn't have. Can't even trust these "good girls" these days. Should I start going to church??

That was a smoke show she wanted you to see /think .
4/20/17 9:50 AM
4/2/08
Posts: 22350
Z NEDCMK1 - 
Wanderpage - 
Willin - Any woman who isn't obedient when you tell her having a male trainer is unacceptable should be dropped immediately. Even her seeking that out should have been an immediate red flag. Don't be afraid to lose women. Lay down the law. They ultimately respect it. You must act like the alpha lion of a pride.

As tempting as it would be to drop that guys wife an anonymous tip and ruin his life with a debilitating divorce that is sure to cause him a huge financial hit don't do it. You don't want to get involved in that drama.

Just move on, OP. Get online dating apps. Bumble is the best one. There are SO many women out there to pound out. It makes you wonder you even bother with relationships to begin with.
Fuck that! Ruin his life! He fucked with you! Fuck that guy!

Why bring all of that negative energy into his life, and extend the drama?

He can have a clean break, kick her to the curb, move on, and get on with positive being.


"Why bring all of that negative energy into his life, and extend the drama?"

Who gives a fuck about "his"life?

Once OP actually has a clear mind and is ok with what happened, I actually believe he can still have the clean break, have kicked her to the curb, moved on, and live a positive life while also letting some lady out there know that shes married to a fucking shitbag who bangs his clients.

Or like you said he could walk away.

Theres not one set criteria.

 

Since he found out very recently, I certainly wouldnt recommend it today, tomorrow, next week.

But maybe in 6-12 months when hes moved on, is out dating and playing the field, and gives no fucks about his ex, a simple email to the wife might not be the end of the world. But that depends on OPs mindset at that time.

 

 

 

 

4/20/17 9:50 AM
12/27/10
Posts: 4100
Dude's married? Tell his fucking wife.
4/20/17 9:51 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 72532
Over the hill cum dumpsters go to church and find religion to do damage control on their reputations and lock down chumps.
4/20/17 9:54 AM
3/14/16
Posts: 9497
DaveFu - Over the hill cum dumpsters go to church and find religion to do damage control on their reputations and lock down chumps.
True . It's like a super high mileage lemon lot .
4/20/17 9:56 AM
3/14/16
Posts: 9498
Z NEDCMK1 -
fastnotch331 - 
Furious White Belt -
ThreadKiller -

Stop dating sluts, no offense, but the red flags are always there. 

True friend. She was a shy, family oriented girl but I definetely overlooked some things that I shouldn't have. Can't even trust these "good girls" these days. Should I start going to church??

That was a smoke show she wanted you to see /think .

Or what OP wanted to see.

She was likely never a "good girl" in the first place, just an "interested" girl.

For sure both her deception , and his self deception . It's like people like to be constantly lied to, and lie to themselves .
4/20/17 9:58 AM
7/12/12
Posts: 2781
DMCN -

Sucks bro. Generally you can tell which types of women would do this, same way you can tell usually for the type of men. Find a woman that's simply not the type to cheat, family oriented, loyal, etc. And be at peace with the downside of that type (less excitement generally) 

Brilliant and accurate
4/20/17 10:04 AM
9/22/09
Posts: 2237

Start by fucking a black guy.  OG has taught me a lot and that's where you want to start.

4/20/17 10:06 AM
4/2/08
Posts: 22351
Z NEDCMK1 - 
SopranosQuoteGuy - 
Z NEDCMK1 - 
Wanderpage - 
Willin - Any woman who isn't obedient when you tell her having a male trainer is unacceptable should be dropped immediately. Even her seeking that out should have been an immediate red flag. Don't be afraid to lose women. Lay down the law. They ultimately respect it. You must act like the alpha lion of a pride.

As tempting as it would be to drop that guys wife an anonymous tip and ruin his life with a debilitating divorce that is sure to cause him a huge financial hit don't do it. You don't want to get involved in that drama.

Just move on, OP. Get online dating apps. Bumble is the best one. There are SO many women out there to pound out. It makes you wonder you even bother with relationships to begin with.
Fuck that! Ruin his life! He fucked with you! Fuck that guy!

Why bring all of that negative energy into his life, and extend the drama?

He can have a clean break, kick her to the curb, move on, and get on with positive being.


"Why bring all of that negative energy into his life, and extend the drama?"

Who gives a fuck about "his"life?

Once OP actually has a clear mind and is ok with what happened, I actually believe he can still have the clean break, have kicked her to the curb, moved on, and live a positive life while also letting some lady out there know that shes married to a fucking shitbag who bangs his clients.

Or like you said he could walk away.

Theres not one set criteria.

 

Since he found out very recently, I certainly wouldnt recommend it today, tomorrow, next week.

But maybe in 6-12 months when hes moved on, is out dating and playing the field, and gives no fucks about his ex, a simple email to the wife might not be the end of the world. But that depends on OPs mindset at that time.

 

 

 

 

 

When I say "his life" I am talking about OP's life.

 

If he is seeking revenge 6-12 months later, he hasn't moved on.

Getting involved with this guy and his wife does nothing more than drag it out. Leave the assholes to themselves.


Ah, sorry thought you were talking about the trainers life for a second.

 

Now, what if the revenge is actually he feels bad for the wife?

If revenge is just a byproduct of OP doing a good deed (im sure we can agree telling someone they are being cheated on is at least somewhat good/noble etc), then I dont see the issue.

But it all depends on OPs mindset.

Like I said, I dont believe there is one universal set criteria and I still believe OP could be living happily while still letting some lady know that shes with a POS.

 

4/20/17 10:42 AM
9/9/14
Posts: 2338
Wanderpage - 
Z NEDCMK1 -
Wanderpage - 
Willin - Any woman who isn't obedient when you tell her having a male trainer is unacceptable should be dropped immediately. Even her seeking that out should have been an immediate red flag. Don't be afraid to lose women. Lay down the law. They ultimately respect it. You must act like the alpha lion of a pride.

As tempting as it would be to drop that guys wife an anonymous tip and ruin his life with a debilitating divorce that is sure to cause him a huge financial hit don't do it. You don't want to get involved in that drama.

Just move on, OP. Get online dating apps. Bumble is the best one. There are SO many women out there to pound out. It makes you wonder you even bother with relationships to begin with.
Fuck that! Ruin his life! He fucked with you! Fuck that guy!

Why bring all of that negative energy into his life, and extend the drama?

He can have a clean break, kick her to the curb, move on, and get on with positive being.

Hahaha you've been the personal trainer before haven't you?

probably my best job ever...
not the best paying but

that job had perks.
4/20/17 10:51 AM
11/13/08
Posts: 7216
My youngest son (17) came over for dinner last weekend. He had gone through a break up recently and was venting his frustrations to me.

He says, "hey dad, you know how you can love someone so much one minute, then not love them at all after you learn something about them. That's how I felt about #### after I found out that she was cheating on me with her ex."

I was immediately reminded of the evening that I found out his mom was cheating on me (again) with her current. How easy it was for me to ask her to just leave after that. I remembered looking her in her eyes 6 months later, when she begged me to give her another chance and telling her that although I still loved her and that I probably always would, that I could never be with her again.

I just smiled at him and said, "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. You don't need any woman like that in your life son. Let her be someone else's problem."
4/20/17 11:15 AM
7/12/14
Posts: 2357

You'll be just fine friend.

4/20/17 11:19 AM
7/12/14
Posts: 2358
DaveFu -
Z NEDCMK1 - 

Should have kicked her to the curb the first time she was fucking him.

I am not sure why you would come back from a "break" that was instigated by her and another man, when the same man is still in the picture.

Get movin' on OP.


First red flag should always be the last red flag.

There is some real wisdom in that post.

 

I live by that rule. 

4/20/17 11:23 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 60019

Sorry to hear man. Everyone has gone through it. 

You learn to trust other people as much as you trust yourself.

The girl who cheated though you cna trust only to do it again.

4/20/17 11:26 AM
11/19/08
Posts: 32128

This is why I date average looking women at best. It's just easier. 

4/20/17 11:27 AM
12/16/11
Posts: 5601
Kamran -
tommyNOFilter - 
Kamran - Why would you allow your girl to have a male personal trainer in the first place? You are responsible for this not in the sense that you are to "blame" or that she isn't guilty and deserving of a serious thrashing but Men are responsible for letting their women run free like this. My wife takes French lessons and when I found out that the prospective teacher was a man I just said no.

I dont understand why American males dont just say no to nonsense like this? Do they think you have to be Muslim to control your woman?

Are you sunni or shia?


Thats not important. Whats important is that you don't need to come from a "virile" or male-centric culture to lay down the law on women and it is clear from reading the OG that not doing this leads to major issues.

I think American/Canadian males have been raised to be too respectful of women and too insecure about their masculinity. Seriously when I watch american TV all I ever see are strong, confident women and their dumbass insecure husbands/boyfriends who are always wrong on every single issue. Of course thats going to have an impact on male culture and lead to the kinds of situations we see on a daily basis on the OG.

Best friend syndrome, dudes think women want to marry their best friend, they don't.