OtherGround Forums Found out my girl was cheating on me

4/21/17 7:06 AM
6/18/16
Posts: 4439
Furious White Belt -

So, I finally got my ex to spill the beans. We had experienced a lot of turbulence when she got a male personal trainer which led to our first break up because there was a lot of indicators that she liked the guy. This led to obvious problems and I saw it coming.  Soon after, we got back together and dated for about another year or so. Now I find out that she was cheating on me with him towards the end of our first relationship, messing with him throughout our break, and all the way on and off through our time back together. To make it worse, he was married. I have a sense of relief that I finally know the truth. I know I'm going to get ribbed by you guys, I expect it. I'm not even that upset now. I just want to know for those of you who have dealt with this type of situation,  did you ever trust another girl after? I just can't see how I could and that's what fucks with me the most. 

Honestly id love to joke about it, but ive been there. Worst feeling ever, but it gets better. Soon you forget about the bitch and realize how much happier you're without her. Having to worry about lies, the next lies and so on.. Having depression and anxiety didn't help me, but im stronger now. Its tough to trust again, but you will. Take op, if ya need to talk pm me.
4/21/17 8:33 AM
6/18/16
Posts: 4440
DaveFu -
Z NEDCMK1 - 

Should have kicked her to the curb the first time she was fucking him.

I am not sure why you would come back from a "break" that was instigated by her and another man, when the same man is still in the picture.

Get movin' on OP.


First red flag should always be the last red flag.
Both great advice.
4/21/17 8:45 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 14318
Z NEDCMK1 - 
Wölfie66 - 
unenforceable -
Furious White Belt - 
Kamran - Why would you allow your girl to have a male personal trainer in the first place? You are responsible for this not in the sense that you are to "blame" or that she isn"t guilty and deserving of a serious thrashing but Men are responsible for letting their women run free like this. My wife takes French lessons and when I found out that the prospective teacher was a man I just said no.

I dont understand why American males dont just say no to nonsense like this? Do they think you have to be Muslim to control your woman?

I strongly contested it believe me. It was so cliche I can't believe she was gullible enough to let it happen. After a while I felt maybe I was just being insecure about it but I guess I wasn't. I strongly believe if you want some easy top notch pussy you should either be a DJ, personal trainer, Club promoter or a celebrity of some type. No can defend. I'll probably avoid American women from this point on, because when you have an objection to anything they cry that you're being "controlling". Rightfully so. It's 5:48 here on the East coast and I can't sleep. I don't know if it's the long workout plus the shit ton of vitamins I took with my meal or if the situation has anything to do with it but I'm about to say fuck it and get up and go back to the gym. 


Bingo! Avoid American women. I agree with this...sure fuck'em but fuck marrying them or having feelings for them.
That's a good start

 

No, it isn't.

 

"I can't believe she was gullible enough to let it happen".

She isn't gullible, and the trainer isn't some predator. She is an adult who made a conscious decision. She made the decision, OP had issues with it, they took a "break", got back together, all the while she carried on the relationship with him.

He didn't trick hewr into it, she entered into it a willing participant.

It has nothing to do with what continent she is from.

The OG mantra of finding a poor girl from another country is a joke at best. There are several OGers who have been taken advantage of by foreign women, lol. It is a game they play, and the U.S. is full of men that are suckers who believe they can land a 9 when they are a 5 just because they are American, and comparative to their homeland are wealthy.


Yes I agree with Z Ned. Other countries have more desperate women but a good % are gold diggers
I went to Jamaica last summer and overall it sucked no desire to go back to that shit hole. A girl I banged from there is still sending me random messages on WhatsApp. Come visit baby or when you coming back blah blah....
I'm sure I fucked her good but not that good lol. I've seen the same thing from guys who date women in Asia etc...

The number of scandalous bitches is high as fuck in America though. Facebook and Snapchat etc
Just ways people attention whore & flirt
4/21/17 8:47 AM
12/16/11
Posts: 5607
Z NEDCMK1 -
Icy Mike - 

A lot of you guys are hung up on the simple fact that she was working with a male trainer at all is a no-go... like that alone is a deal breaker.

Obviously this case provides ammo for that viewpoint, but I'm a trainer and half my clients are married women... a lot of them bring me checks and credit cards  their husbands.

Now I've banged exactly zero of them... but you're saying their husbands are stupid for letting them come to me at all? 

 

You need to consider the overall level of insecurity of the OG, in reality this idea that women can't speak to any men, you need to control them, and you need to brutally fuck them daily just to show dominance would seem ridiculous, but on the OG it is the concensus.

I think the massive amount of porn has warped their sense of reality.

 

 

My opinion is skewed because I can't imagine having a female friend, I fucked or tried to fuck all of them, I can't imagine investing time in a woman and not smashing. I can't even watch a college football game that Pam Ward works.

Honestly besides the sex part being gay seems awesome, just play XBox all day and watch sports and shit, the only problem is the whole men are disgusting and have no vaginas.

I'm secure enough for everyone to call me insecure, but my wife isn't going to hang out with a dude for an hour at a gym, that's what she has a husband for.

4/21/17 8:56 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 21480
Furious White Belt - 

So, I finally got my ex to spill the beans. We had experienced a lot of turbulence when she got a male personal trainer which led to our first break up because there was a lot of indicators that she liked the guy. This led to obvious problems and I saw it coming.  Soon after, we got back together and dated for about another year or so. Now I find out that she was cheating on me with him towards the end of our first relationship, messing with him throughout our break, and all the way on and off through our time back together. To make it worse, he was married. I have a sense of relief that I finally know the truth. I know I'm going to get ribbed by you guys, I expect it. I'm not even that upset now. I just want to know for those of you who have dealt with this type of situation,  did you ever trust another girl after? I just can't see how I could and that's what fucks with me the most. 


so the issue is, why are you even talking to your ex?
4/21/17 10:04 AM
1/1/01
Posts: 40278
Z NEDCMK1 -
Icy Mike - 

A lot of you guys are hung up on the simple fact that she was working with a male trainer at all is a no-go... like that alone is a deal breaker.

Obviously this case provides ammo for that viewpoint, but I'm a trainer and half my clients are married women... a lot of them bring me checks and credit cards  their husbands.

Now I've banged exactly zero of them... but you're saying their husbands are stupid for letting them come to me at all? 

 

You need to consider the overall level of insecurity of the OG, in reality this idea that women can't speak to any men, you need to control them, and you need to brutally fuck them daily just to show dominance would seem ridiculous, but on the OG it is the concensus.

I think the massive amount of porn has warped their sense of reality.

 

 

This. At the end of the day people can't *control* other people. If they are going to cheat, they are going to cheat. Forbidding them from doing this or that isn't stopping someone from cheating. It accentuates insecurity.  

4/21/17 10:18 AM
10/25/11
Posts: 1705

7 pages in and not one pic of this filthy cheating whore  ???

 

It's been mentioned earlier on OP .. it's about your red flags Bro.   When they go up and you justifiy it as something else in your mind .. you are ignoring your better common sense.  This shit was over with her a long time ago, but you refused to acknowledge it.

Good for You now .. at least you didn't marry her and get saddled with that drama for life.

 

Now .. Go Slay Some Vag  !!!

4/21/17 10:35 AM
2/19/10
Posts: 1177

My ex did this to me.  After being together for over 5 years.  And she was fucking the president of the very small company I worked for.  I should have dropped her after the first signs that she was getting too friendly.

 

I made the mistake and tried to get back together with her, but that feeling never goes away and the trust never comes back.

4/21/17 11:19 AM
1/6/10
Posts: 7987
rhino x2 - Good thread the OG probably has the best relationship threads - advice. Yet usually it's the old lead a horse to water deal.... (imploze , killaseth , myself at times).

Op- stay strong and get stronger and wiser. Read some books and keep hitting the gym. A good book I recommend about relationships is the rational male . I'd get a hobby I like bjj, yoga and Bike riding is great cardio & fun with spring weather here.

I was partying with a couple old high school buddies the other night. My one buddy is going through a divorce with 2 kids (very young kids). The other guy is in a dead bedroom relationship where his girl does nothing for him. Literally just a part time babysitter and pita. He also has 2 young kids

I was giving them some OG / red pill type advice. The very next night my gf went fucking crazy. Meets me at the bar and gets wrecked. She Tried to assault me multiple times and was acting like a crazy bitch. Sadly it wasn't the first time she has tried to get rough with me. I've choked her out before years ago. So we've been together off & on for 4+ years. I decided fuck it I had some contraband on me and I don't want a domestic or a drug charge. I videoed her trying to assault me, and she did manage to bite me. Lol I set on her and got mount position till she passed out. Ruined my night. My week but fortunately not my life.

Fuck all that shit. I broke up with the stupid bitch and I'm thinking I'm going to move back to Arizona where I have a house. She's managed to worm her way back to me a few times. Never again fuck
My son is 18 nearly grown. No more kids or marriages for me.

Good post earlier on this thread..... the first red flag should be the last red flag. Guys if your in a toxic or ??? Relationship gtfo

Sorry regarding your girl. I'll check that book out 

4/21/17 11:21 AM
1/6/10
Posts: 7988
Gomrad -

Was the trainer from Yugoslavia with a side interest in Archaeology????

Yeah he went by Yugo slob or something :0)

4/21/17 11:23 AM
1/6/10
Posts: 7989
Shanebone -
Furious White Belt -

So, I finally got my ex to spill the beans. We had experienced a lot of turbulence when she got a male personal trainer which led to our first break up because there was a lot of indicators that she liked the guy. This led to obvious problems and I saw it coming.  Soon after, we got back together and dated for about another year or so. Now I find out that she was cheating on me with him towards the end of our first relationship, messing with him throughout our break, and all the way on and off through our time back together. To make it worse, he was married. I have a sense of relief that I finally know the truth. I know I'm going to get ribbed by you guys, I expect it. I'm not even that upset now. I just want to know for those of you who have dealt with this type of situation,  did you ever trust another girl after? I just can't see how I could and that's what fucks with me the most. 

Honestly id love to joke about it, but ive been there. Worst feeling ever, but it gets better. Soon you forget about the bitch and realize how much happier you're without her. Having to worry about lies, the next lies and so on.. Having depression and anxiety didn't help me, but im stronger now. Its tough to trust again, but you will. Take op, if ya need to talk pm me.

Thanks man def sucks 

4/21/17 11:32 AM
1/6/10
Posts: 7990
yusul -
Furious White Belt - 

So, I finally got my ex to spill the beans. We had experienced a lot of turbulence when she got a male personal trainer which led to our first break up because there was a lot of indicators that she liked the guy. This led to obvious problems and I saw it coming.  Soon after, we got back together and dated for about another year or so. Now I find out that she was cheating on me with him towards the end of our first relationship, messing with him throughout our break, and all the way on and off through our time back together. To make it worse, he was married. I have a sense of relief that I finally know the truth. I know I'm going to get ribbed by you guys, I expect it. I'm not even that upset now. I just want to know for those of you who have dealt with this type of situation,  did you ever trust another girl after? I just can't see how I could and that's what fucks with me the most. 


so the issue is, why are you even talking to your ex?

Honestly man I wanted to work things out again. I feel like I needed to settle down and she is very family oriented. There were things I thought maybe I could do better(help more around the house, get back in shape, get my work life back together) that would improve the relationship but after she dropped this bombshell I think I am ruined for a while. I can't see how I could trust anyone. 

4/21/17 11:50 AM
8/20/02
Posts: 12609
UGCTT_red_nose - 

My ex did this to me.  After being together for over 5 years.  And she was fucking the president of the very small company I worked for.  I should have dropped her after the first signs that she was getting too friendly.

 

I made the mistake and tried to get back together with her, but that feeling never goes away and the trust never comes back.


What were the signs that you were ignoring?
4/21/17 12:22 PM
1/2/15
Posts: 3492
You can't be controlling to stop cheating. If they're cheaters, they're going to find a way to cheat. No amount of monitoring will help ease your mind.
Just accept you cannot control other people and be aware of the cheating signs and just break up when things don't seem right with the next one.

Head up, stay busy and bang at least a few before jumping into the next relationship
4/21/17 1:52 PM
7/21/09
Posts: 2601
Furious White Belt -
Gomrad -

Was the trainer from Yugoslavia with a side interest in Archaeology????

Yeah he went by Yugo slob or something :0)

Yugoslob Never Die

4/21/17 2:12 PM
9/15/12
Posts: 886
Junnk - You can't be controlling to stop cheating. If they're cheaters, they're going to find a way to cheat. No amount of monitoring will help ease your mind.
Just accept you cannot control other people and be aware of the cheating signs and just break up when things don't seem right with the next one.

Head up, stay busy and bang at least a few before jumping into the next relationship
This is true. Normally if a girl is cheating on you they'll be treating you shitty anyway, long before you even suspect them of cheating. So don't even wait to find out, just dump them for being shitty to you.
4/21/17 2:36 PM
1/6/10
Posts: 7991
Junnk - You can't be controlling to stop cheating. If they're cheaters, they're going to find a way to cheat. No amount of monitoring will help ease your mind.
Just accept you cannot control other people and be aware of the cheating signs and just break up when things don't seem right with the next one.

Head up, stay busy and bang at least a few before jumping into the next relationship

I think that makes sense. After experiencing multiple failed relationships like a lot of people my age I've come to the conclusion that's it's almost impossible to change anybody. You are who you are. If a female is displaying qualities you don't like or uncomfortable with its best to not waste your time and just move on. 

Edited: 4/21/17 2:58 PM
2/19/10
Posts: 1178
Palmala Handerson -
UGCTT_red_nose - 

My ex did this to me.  After being together for over 5 years.  And she was fucking the president of the very small company I worked for.  I should have dropped her after the first signs that she was getting too friendly.

 

I made the mistake and tried to get back together with her, but that feeling never goes away and the trust never comes back.


What were the signs that you were ignoring?

Being too flirty, sitting next to other guy at company gatherings, other things like this.  Keep in mind that this was over 7 years ago now.  These aren't exactly on the top of my mind anymore

 

While I was with her, I told her what I noticed and she stopped for a bit, but whores gonna whore and she started up again after not too long.

 

She eneded up flying from DFW to Alaska to hang out at his fishing lodge while lying to me that she was visiting her folks in KS.  She came back and told me everything directly after b-day sex.

 

I left the house the next day and moved into a shitty bachelor pad and started trying to get my life back in order.  Made the big mistake of trying to keep in contact with her.  She assured me that they were done and that she wanted me back etc.

 

I tried it again, but it was totally broken after that.  I never got over her betraying my trust like that.  If you can't trust a woman, you definitely can't be in a relationship with her.

4/21/17 2:49 PM
7/4/03
Posts: 10403
haven't read the whole thread, but were you tempted or did you tell the other wife that her husband was cheating on her?
4/21/17 2:56 PM
2/26/07
Posts: 6993
Is this the guy I sold a couple gis to awhile back? If so, I have a couple more I can part with if you're in the gym more


Also have a used wife since I hear you're in the market :)
4/21/17 2:59 PM
9/29/05
Posts: 8124
Z NEDCMK1 - 
Wölfie66 - 
unenforceable -
Furious White Belt - 
Kamran - Why would you allow your girl to have a male personal trainer in the first place? You are responsible for this not in the sense that you are to "blame" or that she isn"t guilty and deserving of a serious thrashing but Men are responsible for letting their women run free like this. My wife takes French lessons and when I found out that the prospective teacher was a man I just said no.

I dont understand why American males dont just say no to nonsense like this? Do they think you have to be Muslim to control your woman?

I strongly contested it believe me. It was so cliche I can't believe she was gullible enough to let it happen. After a while I felt maybe I was just being insecure about it but I guess I wasn't. I strongly believe if you want some easy top notch pussy you should either be a DJ, personal trainer, Club promoter or a celebrity of some type. No can defend. I'll probably avoid American women from this point on, because when you have an objection to anything they cry that you're being "controlling". Rightfully so. It's 5:48 here on the East coast and I can't sleep. I don't know if it's the long workout plus the shit ton of vitamins I took with my meal or if the situation has anything to do with it but I'm about to say fuck it and get up and go back to the gym. 


Bingo! Avoid American women. I agree with this...sure fuck'em but fuck marrying them or having feelings for them.
That's a good start

 

No, it isn't.

 

"I can't believe she was gullible enough to let it happen".

She isn't gullible, and the trainer isn't some predator. She is an adult who made a conscious decision. She made the decision, OP had issues with it, they took a "break", got back together, all the while she carried on the relationship with him.

He didn't trick hewr into it, she entered into it a willing participant.

It has nothing to do with what continent she is from.

The OG mantra of finding a poor girl from another country is a joke at best. There are several OGers who have been taken advantage of by foreign women, lol. It is a game they play, and the U.S. is full of men that are suckers who believe they can land a 9 when they are a 5 just because they are American, and comparative to their homeland are wealthy.


For the love of god, this.

Don't believe their lies.

She was talked, coerced, or forced into it?! That's rape, nigga. Even then, once you do some digging you find out even that was a complete lie. They were almost always, ALWAYS, willing participants.

I've had to sit there and listen to a close female cousin of mine rationalize cheating on her long-term boyfriend (now husband...lol poor bastard), while my own cheating ex tried to pile on. I already knew, and was finally able prove it a few months later but this was great to see - as they all behaved exactly the same way. Cousin was bawling her eyes out in the bar and I sat there stoic, until she admitted she royally fucked up. Ex tried to say that everybody deserves a second chance. Always. There are no sins that can't be forgiven. Fucking lol.

At the end of the day she was complicit. At the end of the day, your woman said "fuck you and fuck our relationship" and did what she wanted. 20 minutes of excuses to underline the fact that it wasn't really her fault. What was frightening was the level of delusion women can build for themselves.

I told my cousin flat out that I wasn't surprised he was pissed, and I couldn't fault him for dumping your stupid ass. It was hilarious watching them both squirm.

Anybody who's close with you, other than your best male friends, is along for the ride. Just like women can drop BFF's at the drop of a hat for drama, you should be willing to do the same. There's mutual respect there, of course, but it's not a symbiotic relationship. You should be absolutely able to live without a woman and give 'em the boot when they start fucking with your dreams.



4/21/17 3:07 PM
10/29/14
Posts: 1310
garythekid -

This is why I date average looking women at best. It's just easier. 

LOL. Even the ugly ones cheat. I worked in the Nightclub and afterhours scene for years. I saw it all.

4/21/17 3:10 PM
2/26/07
Posts: 6994
trobinson21 -

This would have never happened to OP if he didn't use the word "jits".

Also, this.
4/21/17 3:10 PM
1/6/10
Posts: 7992
sawdusk - haven't read the whole thread, but were you tempted or did you tell the other wife that her husband was cheating on her?

No. I'm not sure they are even together anymore. I found him on Facebook and he supposedly started a "relationship" in Nov 2016. I wonder if it was with the new mode chick he has as a client he is supposedly banging. He ditched my girl after he started fucking her. 

4/21/17 3:11 PM
1/6/10
Posts: 7993
TheThrill - Is this the guy I sold a couple gis to awhile back? If so, I have a couple more I can part with if you're in the gym more


Also have a used wife since I hear you're in the market :)

Possibly man. I think I have enough but for sure PM me with what you have. I'm good on the used wife.