OtherGround Forums Found out my girl was cheating on me

4/21/17 3:49 PM
10/28/16
Posts: 243
Furious White Belt - 
yusul -
Furious White Belt - 

So, I finally got my ex to spill the beans. We had experienced a lot of turbulence when she got a male personal trainer which led to our first break up because there was a lot of indicators that she liked the guy. This led to obvious problems and I saw it coming.  Soon after, we got back together and dated for about another year or so. Now I find out that she was cheating on me with him towards the end of our first relationship, messing with him throughout our break, and all the way on and off through our time back together. To make it worse, he was married. I have a sense of relief that I finally know the truth. I know I'm going to get ribbed by you guys, I expect it. I'm not even that upset now. I just want to know for those of you who have dealt with this type of situation,  did you ever trust another girl after? I just can't see how I could and that's what fucks with me the most. 


so the issue is, why are you even talking to your ex?

Honestly man I wanted to work things out again. I feel like I needed to settle down and she is very family oriented. There were things I thought maybe I could do better(help more around the house, get back in shape, get my work life back together) that would improve the relationship but after she dropped this bombshell I think I am ruined for a while. I can't see how I could trust anyone. 


"after she dropped this bombshell I think I am ruined for a while. I can't see how I could trust anyone."

before this sentence i thought you were male cuz only bitches say something so stupid. carry on and remember that ur beautiful, strong and brave
4/21/17 4:14 PM
1/6/10
Posts: 7994
tonberry -
Z NEDCMK1 - 
Wölfie66 - 
unenforceable -
Furious White Belt - 
Kamran - Why would you allow your girl to have a male personal trainer in the first place? You are responsible for this not in the sense that you are to "blame" or that she isn"t guilty and deserving of a serious thrashing but Men are responsible for letting their women run free like this. My wife takes French lessons and when I found out that the prospective teacher was a man I just said no.

I dont understand why American males dont just say no to nonsense like this? Do they think you have to be Muslim to control your woman?

I strongly contested it believe me. It was so cliche I can't believe she was gullible enough to let it happen. After a while I felt maybe I was just being insecure about it but I guess I wasn't. I strongly believe if you want some easy top notch pussy you should either be a DJ, personal trainer, Club promoter or a celebrity of some type. No can defend. I'll probably avoid American women from this point on, because when you have an objection to anything they cry that you're being "controlling". Rightfully so. It's 5:48 here on the East coast and I can't sleep. I don't know if it's the long workout plus the shit ton of vitamins I took with my meal or if the situation has anything to do with it but I'm about to say fuck it and get up and go back to the gym. 


Bingo! Avoid American women. I agree with this...sure fuck'em but fuck marrying them or having feelings for them.
That's a good start

 

No, it isn't.

 

"I can't believe she was gullible enough to let it happen".

She isn't gullible, and the trainer isn't some predator. She is an adult who made a conscious decision. She made the decision, OP had issues with it, they took a "break", got back together, all the while she carried on the relationship with him.

He didn't trick hewr into it, she entered into it a willing participant.

It has nothing to do with what continent she is from.

The OG mantra of finding a poor girl from another country is a joke at best. There are several OGers who have been taken advantage of by foreign women, lol. It is a game they play, and the U.S. is full of men that are suckers who believe they can land a 9 when they are a 5 just because they are American, and comparative to their homeland are wealthy.


For the love of god, this.

Don't believe their lies.

She was talked, coerced, or forced into it?! That's rape, nigga. Even then, once you do some digging you find out even that was a complete lie. They were almost always, ALWAYS, willing participants.

I've had to sit there and listen to a close female cousin of mine rationalize cheating on her long-term boyfriend (now husband...lol poor bastard), while my own cheating ex tried to pile on. I already knew, and was finally able prove it a few months later but this was great to see - as they all behaved exactly the same way. Cousin was bawling her eyes out in the bar and I sat there stoic, until she admitted she royally fucked up. Ex tried to say that everybody deserves a second chance. Always. There are no sins that can't be forgiven. Fucking lol.

At the end of the day she was complicit. At the end of the day, your woman said "fuck you and fuck our relationship" and did what she wanted. 20 minutes of excuses to underline the fact that it wasn't really her fault. What was frightening was the level of delusion women can build for themselves.

I told my cousin flat out that I wasn't surprised he was pissed, and I couldn't fault him for dumping your stupid ass. It was hilarious watching them both squirm.

Anybody who's close with you, other than your best male friends, is along for the ride. Just like women can drop BFF's at the drop of a hat for drama, you should be willing to do the same. There's mutual respect there, of course, but it's not a symbiotic relationship. You should be absolutely able to live without a woman and give 'em the boot when they start fucking with your dreams.



Well said

4/21/17 4:19 PM
1/6/10
Posts: 7995
starboy -
Furious White Belt - 
yusul -
Furious White Belt - 

So, I finally got my ex to spill the beans. We had experienced a lot of turbulence when she got a male personal trainer which led to our first break up because there was a lot of indicators that she liked the guy. This led to obvious problems and I saw it coming.  Soon after, we got back together and dated for about another year or so. Now I find out that she was cheating on me with him towards the end of our first relationship, messing with him throughout our break, and all the way on and off through our time back together. To make it worse, he was married. I have a sense of relief that I finally know the truth. I know I'm going to get ribbed by you guys, I expect it. I'm not even that upset now. I just want to know for those of you who have dealt with this type of situation,  did you ever trust another girl after? I just can't see how I could and that's what fucks with me the most. 


so the issue is, why are you even talking to your ex?

Honestly man I wanted to work things out again. I feel like I needed to settle down and she is very family oriented. There were things I thought maybe I could do better(help more around the house, get back in shape, get my work life back together) that would improve the relationship but after she dropped this bombshell I think I am ruined for a while. I can't see how I could trust anyone. 


"after she dropped this bombshell I think I am ruined for a while. I can't see how I could trust anyone."

before this sentence i thought you were male cuz only bitches say something so stupid. carry on and remember that ur beautiful, strong and brave

Hey man I'm good for the most part but honestly don't even know how I could trust any female. That's just how I feel right now. The way I'm feeling is im just going to go back to being myself before my relationship. Try not to get any feelings involved. 

4/21/17 6:03 PM
3/12/07
Posts: 8915

When my ex cheated on me I took it as a learning experience. I thought about all of the things about her and our relationship that I didn't like and made it a rule that I would not tolerate that in future relationships.

 

I also gave myself standards for any woman that I would date. I called it the "3 I's", intelligence, independence, and integrity. If a woman didn't have all three of those qualities, I would not date her. It took me years to find one that actually did have those three qualities, but it worked out in the end (I married her and we've been together for 15 years.)

 

The 3 I's don't require you to be celibate, Basically, you can have as many one night stands, random strange, and whatever else, but don't have a relationship or keep seeing a woman once you have determined she lacks one or more of the "I's". She's not worth the time and effort.

 

 

4/21/17 6:53 PM
12/4/11
Posts: 142
DMCN -

Sucks bro. Generally you can tell which types of women would do this, same way you can tell usually for the type of men. Find a woman that's simply not the type to cheat, family oriented, loyal, etc. And be at peace with the downside of that type (less excitement generally) 

This guy knows.  I went from a girlfriend that cheated on me to my current wife.  My girlfriend was a LOT of fun, but the downside is I wasn't the only one having fun with her.  My wife on the other hand is as loyal as the day is long, but not as much fun.  We've been together for 19 years now.

 

Last night she sexted me for the first time, so excitement can come later on!

4/21/17 7:59 PM
8/27/14
Posts: 14

Op, time will heal the heart take it from me! FAST forward a few months or yrs, and your with someone better. U would question why u were even hurt in the first place 

 

or perhaps not, maybe u will look back and blame yourself... maybe I could have done this better or that better.... don't go down that route. But if u do find yourself going down that route and still feeling sorry for yourself, that's what makes us human I guess. No shame in that 

try and look at it in another perspective, she wasn't put on this earth for u to enjoy. If that's how she wants to live her life, then that's her choice 

 

move on and you'll be fine

 

 

 

 

Edited: 4/21/17 8:30 PM
1/1/01
Posts: 72557

 

 

 

 

4/22/17 10:48 PM
1/6/10
Posts: 7996
man_dingo -

Op, time will heal the heart take it from me! FAST forward a few months or yrs, and your with someone better. U would question why u were even hurt in the first place 

 

or perhaps not, maybe u will look back and blame yourself... maybe I could have done this better or that better.... don't go down that route. But if u do find yourself going down that route and still feeling sorry for yourself, that's what makes us human I guess. No shame in that 

try and look at it in another perspective, she wasn't put on this earth for u to enjoy. If that's how she wants to live her life, then that's her choice 

 

move on and you'll be fine

 

 

 

 

Thanks man hopefully u are right 

4/22/17 11:16 PM
5/22/15
Posts: 4863
Every time I've been stabbed in the back, it was because I turned a blind eye after handing over the knife. DTA
4/22/17 11:59 PM
12/2/14
Posts: 267

All of you dorks that won't let your woman have male friends, teachers, and trainers are insecure pussies. Your girls must LOVE that you don't trust them.

Confident men with high self esteem don't control their women. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Jealousy is a huge turnoff and it makes you look like a bitch boy.

OP, obviously she liked you at first but she lost interest in you. Perhaps you took her for granted or your relationship lost excitement. Maybe you were no longer fun to be with. Maybe, like many men, you were a negative cunt and a drag to be around. Maybe you thought it was ok to take a shit in front of her. Whatever it was you have to take a step back and assess what went wrong. Women in good relationships don't cheat.

Ask yourself, why would a woman want to be with me? What is appealing about me? Be honest and make changes where needed. If you have unattractive habits stop them immediately.

If you don't learn from your past mistakes this will happen to you again. The good news is that there are 3 billion women out there. Good luck.

 

 

 

4/23/17 12:15 AM
1/14/16
Posts: 4061
WikiTheWalrus -

When my ex cheated on me I took it as a learning experience. I thought about all of the things about her and our relationship that I didn't like and made it a rule that I would not tolerate that in future relationships.

 

I also gave myself standards for any woman that I would date. I called it the "3 I's", intelligence, independence, and integrity. If a woman didn't have all three of those qualities, I would not date her. It took me years to find one that actually did have those three qualities, but it worked out in the end (I married her and we've been together for 15 years.)

 

The 3 I's don't require you to be celibate, Basically, you can have as many one night stands, random strange, and whatever else, but don't have a relationship or keep seeing a woman once you have determined she lacks one or more of the "I's". She's not worth the time and effort.

 

 

It's true! It's damn true.

4/23/17 3:18 AM
1/6/10
Posts: 7997
Areola Wani -

All of you dorks that won't let your woman have male friends, teachers, and trainers are insecure pussies. Your girls must LOVE that you don't trust them.

Confident men with high self esteem don't control their women. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Jealousy is a huge turnoff and it makes you look like a bitch boy.

OP, obviously she liked you at first but she lost interest in you. Perhaps you took her for granted or your relationship lost excitement. Maybe you were no longer fun to be with. Maybe, like many men, you were a negative cunt and a drag to be around. Maybe you thought it was ok to take a shit in front of her. Whatever it was you have to take a step back and assess what went wrong. Women in good relationships don't cheat.

Ask yourself, why would a woman want to be with me? What is appealing about me? Be honest and make changes where needed. If you have unattractive habits stop them immediately.

If you don't learn from your past mistakes this will happen to you again. The good news is that there are 3 billion women out there. Good luck.

 

 

 

Sad thing is u are right. About everything...

4/23/17 3:45 AM
10/18/14
Posts: 4829
Areola Wani -

All of you dorks that won't let your woman have male friends, teachers, and trainers are insecure pussies. Your girls must LOVE that you don't trust them.

Confident men with high self esteem don't control their women. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Jealousy is a huge turnoff and it makes you look like a bitch boy.

OP, obviously she liked you at first but she lost interest in you. Perhaps you took her for granted or your relationship lost excitement. Maybe you were no longer fun to be with. Maybe, like many men, you were a negative cunt and a drag to be around. Maybe you thought it was ok to take a shit in front of her. Whatever it was you have to take a step back and assess what went wrong. Women in good relationships don't cheat.

Ask yourself, why would a woman want to be with me? What is appealing about me? Be honest and make changes where needed. If you have unattractive habits stop them immediately.

If you don't learn from your past mistakes this will happen to you again. The good news is that there are 3 billion women out there. Good luck.

 

 

 

"women in good relationships don't cheat"

 

lmao

4/23/17 5:03 AM
9/22/16
Posts: 2854
It could be worse. She could have been hired to be a cart girl at a golf course.
5/1/17 7:44 PM
1/2/15
Posts: 3519
Z NEDCMK1 -
Wanderpage - 
Z NEDCMK1 -
Wanderpage - 
Willin - Any woman who isn't obedient when you tell her having a male trainer is unacceptable should be dropped immediately. Even her seeking that out should have been an immediate red flag. Don't be afraid to lose women. Lay down the law. They ultimately respect it. You must act like the alpha lion of a pride.

As tempting as it would be to drop that guys wife an anonymous tip and ruin his life with a debilitating divorce that is sure to cause him a huge financial hit don't do it. You don't want to get involved in that drama.

Just move on, OP. Get online dating apps. Bumble is the best one. There are SO many women out there to pound out. It makes you wonder you even bother with relationships to begin with.
Fuck that! Ruin his life! He fucked with you! Fuck that guy!

Why bring all of that negative energy into his life, and extend the drama?

He can have a clean break, kick her to the curb, move on, and get on with positive being.

Hahaha you've been the personal trainer before haven't you?

No, but this is a major negative event.

The best thing OP can do for his own personal well being and life in general is cut her off completely, and seek out positive relationships.

By going after the guy and his marriage he is just going to dig himself deeper, and drag the drama out for a much longer time than needed.

His girlfriend and trainer are both assholes. Best to leave assholes to deal with each other. Why join the party?

 

Would you want to know whether mrs Ned was cheating?
5/1/17 7:59 PM
7/20/09
Posts: 8865
Furious White Belt -
Areola Wani -

All of you dorks that won't let your woman have male friends, teachers, and trainers are insecure pussies. Your girls must LOVE that you don't trust them.

Confident men with high self esteem don't control their women. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Jealousy is a huge turnoff and it makes you look like a bitch boy.

OP, obviously she liked you at first but she lost interest in you. Perhaps you took her for granted or your relationship lost excitement. Maybe you were no longer fun to be with. Maybe, like many men, you were a negative cunt and a drag to be around. Maybe you thought it was ok to take a shit in front of her. Whatever it was you have to take a step back and assess what went wrong. Women in good relationships don't cheat.

Ask yourself, why would a woman want to be with me? What is appealing about me? Be honest and make changes where needed. If you have unattractive habits stop them immediately.

If you don't learn from your past mistakes this will happen to you again. The good news is that there are 3 billion women out there. Good luck.

 

 

 

Sad thing is u are right. About everything...

Yeah by all means take this guys advice, LOL
5/1/17 8:02 PM
1/25/04
Posts: 114414
rekt - 
Areola Wani -

All of you dorks that won't let your woman have male friends, teachers, and trainers are insecure pussies. Your girls must LOVE that you don't trust them.

Confident men with high self esteem don't control their women. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Jealousy is a huge turnoff and it makes you look like a bitch boy.

OP, obviously she liked you at first but she lost interest in you. Perhaps you took her for granted or your relationship lost excitement. Maybe you were no longer fun to be with. Maybe, like many men, you were a negative cunt and a drag to be around. Maybe you thought it was ok to take a shit in front of her. Whatever it was you have to take a step back and assess what went wrong. Women in good relationships don't cheat.

Ask yourself, why would a woman want to be with me? What is appealing about me? Be honest and make changes where needed. If you have unattractive habits stop them immediately.

If you don't learn from your past mistakes this will happen to you again. The good news is that there are 3 billion women out there. Good luck.

 

 

 

"women in good relationships don't cheat"

 

lmao


Areola sounds like a cheating woman.

5/1/17 9:12 PM
6/18/16
Posts: 4615
Areola Wani -

All of you dorks that won't let your woman have male friends, teachers, and trainers are insecure pussies. Your girls must LOVE that you don't trust them.

Confident men with high self esteem don't control their women. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Jealousy is a huge turnoff and it makes you look like a bitch boy.

OP, obviously she liked you at first but she lost interest in you. Perhaps you took her for granted or your relationship lost excitement. Maybe you were no longer fun to be with. Maybe, like many men, you were a negative cunt and a drag to be around. Maybe you thought it was ok to take a shit in front of her. Whatever it was you have to take a step back and assess what went wrong. Women in good relationships don't cheat.

Ask yourself, why would a woman want to be with me? What is appealing about me? Be honest and make changes where needed. If you have unattractive habits stop them immediately.

If you don't learn from your past mistakes this will happen to you again. The good news is that there are 3 billion women out there. Good luck.

 

 

 

Dont listen to this fuckface. Horseshit advice.
5/1/17 9:14 PM
6/18/16
Posts: 4616
Jack Carter -
rekt - 
Areola Wani -

All of you dorks that won't let your woman have male friends, teachers, and trainers are insecure pussies. Your girls must LOVE that you don't trust them.

Confident men with high self esteem don't control their women. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Jealousy is a huge turnoff and it makes you look like a bitch boy.

OP, obviously she liked you at first but she lost interest in you. Perhaps you took her for granted or your relationship lost excitement. Maybe you were no longer fun to be with. Maybe, like many men, you were a negative cunt and a drag to be around. Maybe you thought it was ok to take a shit in front of her. Whatever it was you have to take a step back and assess what went wrong. Women in good relationships don't cheat.

Ask yourself, why would a woman want to be with me? What is appealing about me? Be honest and make changes where needed. If you have unattractive habits stop them immediately.

If you don't learn from your past mistakes this will happen to you again. The good news is that there are 3 billion women out there. Good luck.

 

 

 

"women in good relationships don't cheat"

 

lmao


Areola sounds like a cheating woman.

Haha yes
5/1/17 9:15 PM
6/18/16
Posts: 4617
Furious White Belt -
Shanebone -
Furious White Belt -

So, I finally got my ex to spill the beans. We had experienced a lot of turbulence when she got a male personal trainer which led to our first break up because there was a lot of indicators that she liked the guy. This led to obvious problems and I saw it coming.  Soon after, we got back together and dated for about another year or so. Now I find out that she was cheating on me with him towards the end of our first relationship, messing with him throughout our break, and all the way on and off through our time back together. To make it worse, he was married. I have a sense of relief that I finally know the truth. I know I'm going to get ribbed by you guys, I expect it. I'm not even that upset now. I just want to know for those of you who have dealt with this type of situation,  did you ever trust another girl after? I just can't see how I could and that's what fucks with me the most. 

Honestly id love to joke about it, but ive been there. Worst feeling ever, but it gets better. Soon you forget about the bitch and realize how much happier you're without her. Having to worry about lies, the next lies and so on.. Having depression and anxiety didn't help me, but im stronger now. Its tough to trust again, but you will. Take op, if ya need to talk pm me.

Thanks man def sucks 

No problem, hang in there man.
5/1/17 9:34 PM
2/3/10
Posts: 23429
These hoes aint loyal~
Edited: 5/2/17 2:20 AM
10/8/13
Posts: 1853
Areola Wani -

All of you dorks that won't let your woman have male friends, teachers, and trainers are insecure pussies. Your girls must LOVE that you don't trust them.

Confident men with high self esteem don't control their women. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Jealousy is a huge turnoff and it makes you look like a bitch boy.

OP, obviously she liked you at first but she lost interest in you. Perhaps you took her for granted or your relationship lost excitement. Maybe you were no longer fun to be with. Maybe, like many men, you were a negative cunt and a drag to be around. Maybe you thought it was ok to take a shit in front of her. Whatever it was you have to take a step back and assess what went wrong. Women in good relationships don't cheat.

Ask yourself, why would a woman want to be with me? What is appealing about me? Be honest and make changes where needed. If you have unattractive habits stop them immediately.

If you don't learn from your past mistakes this will happen to you again. The good news is that there are 3 billion women out there. Good luck.

 

 

 

Why in the fuck would a good man want a woman who puts herself in situations that made her man feel uncomfortable? Yes, trust is important. So is not putting yourself in a situation that would damage your relationship too. 

As a man if I'm in a good relationship I'm not even going to want to be in the same room with another female alone. That is disrespectful to my partner. 

5/2/17 2:24 AM
12/13/15
Posts: 2682
OP

r/theredpill

That is all.
5/2/17 5:04 AM
1/25/14
Posts: 2090
Z NEDCMK1 -
ShanTheMan - 
Furious White Belt - 
ShanTheMan - Find his facebook? If you end up doing it, don"t wait and hold onto this shit. Do it and be done with it. He will hate you and his coworkers will too.

Furious White Belt - TRAINERS HATE HIM

I found it but I don't think I'm going to do anything. I think he's separated now and he posted he is in a relationship recently. Supposedly he's now fucking the model chick that works out there. 


If you can find his ex and bang her that may heal some wounds for ya my man.

 

Or he could just move on and seek a positive relationship with a woman that makes him feel better about himself, not self consicous and insecure.

 

I kind of agree with both the past two statements but I would say: 

1) You might as well tell the woman he cheated on her and what timeline. Even if she strongly suspected it, the mind can do crazy things and having a third party definitively say it can do wonders. However, it comes across I'd say it's probably just being a nice guy. 

 

2) for a long term relationship you are probably better off seeking someone you are highly compatible with but in the short term this woman might represent an easy lay, I'd say it wouldn't hurt putting yourself out there half assedly with this woman, it depends how many options the OP has. 

5/2/17 11:15 AM
9/22/09
Posts: 2261
MMA Promoter1 -
Areola Wani -

All of you dorks that won't let your woman have male friends, teachers, and trainers are insecure pussies. Your girls must LOVE that you don't trust them.

Confident men with high self esteem don't control their women. Trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Jealousy is a huge turnoff and it makes you look like a bitch boy.

OP, obviously she liked you at first but she lost interest in you. Perhaps you took her for granted or your relationship lost excitement. Maybe you were no longer fun to be with. Maybe, like many men, you were a negative cunt and a drag to be around. Maybe you thought it was ok to take a shit in front of her. Whatever it was you have to take a step back and assess what went wrong. Women in good relationships don't cheat.

Ask yourself, why would a woman want to be with me? What is appealing about me? Be honest and make changes where needed. If you have unattractive habits stop them immediately.

If you don't learn from your past mistakes this will happen to you again. The good news is that there are 3 billion women out there. Good luck.

 

 

 

Why in the fuck would a good man want a woman who puts herself in situations that made her man feel uncomfortable? Yes, trust is important. So is not putting yourself in a situation that would damage your relationship too. 

As a man if I'm in a good relationship I'm not even going to want to be in the same room with another female alone. That is disrespectful to my partner. 

This.  

 

Nobodys perfect.  And any man feels some jealousy.  I think women do too.

 

To be a good spouse/partner, you have to treat how you want to be treated.  Not how you think they should be treated.