UnderGround Forum >> BETA Academy posts about leaving Team Lloyd Irvin

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Someone whom I hold in very high regard once told me that "loyalty is a two way street." Our instructors show loyalty to us by teaching great classes and by going above and beyond for their students. Out of loyalty to them, I have to stand up for a value that we, as martial artists, hold dear to our hearts- respect. Rape goes against this fundamental principle and everything that we stand for. By failing to take a stand and speak out against the issue, we only feed the epidemic.

Please understand that it is not my intention to ascribe guilt to anyone. It is not my place to do so. I do, however, expect the leader of a team of athletes to offer some public response when his and his team's reputation is on the line, even if that response is to simply state that "rape is wrong and I do not condone it." However, no statement was made and the silence from Team Lloyd Irvin has been deafening.

Know that I will always remain accountable to our students and instructors. Without them, our academy could not have grown into the strong, positive community that it is today. We were all shocked and saddened by the despicable situation – the leader of our association failed to take a stand on the issue of rape. And with each day that went by and no statement was given, we grew more and more disillusioned. How could we call ourselves martial artists if we were not going to stand up for something we believe in? How can we look our students in the eye? How can we look each other in the eye? In the end, it was our instructors who had the most to lose from disassociating.

Some may think that we are traitors for leaving Team Lloyd Irvin. I would not be offended if we are labeled traitors. I understand the very difficult position that our former team members are in. In my heart, I know that some are conflicted by a moral dilemma but are afraid to speak out. I wish nothing but the best for them.

I also need them to know that Khun Kru Nakapan has always proven himself to be extremely loyal. Above all, he remains loyal to his values. This is why he could no longer be part of the association. It was also out of loyalty to me that he had to take a stand. He has been my best friend for over fifteen years now, and he is one of the very few people who, up until this point, knew that I was the victim of a violent rape when I was very young. As a result of this heinous act, committed by a man whom my family trusted, I was hospitalized and dealt with suicidal depression for many years. The fact of the matter is that I was the daughter of a poor, powerless single mother in a patriarchal society. Although she loved me very much and helped me work through many of my issues, the incident was swept under the rug. And I wanted to move forward and did not want people to see me as a victim. I have always kept quiet about the rape because I was afraid that it would sadden those who care for me. But victims of rape should never be left alone to deal with the terrible aftermath. And as martial artists, we should be strong enough to stand up for them.

The truth is that, as a survivor of rape, it is very difficult to get into this predominantly male sport. There are cultural barriers facing any young woman standing at the sidelines of this intriguing art. It is simply not considered "appropriate" to roll around with a bunch of guys and get yourself into "compromising" positions. It is thus a challenge to get more women into this sport. The association has certainly helped by creating more female competitors for women to look up to. But I can assure you one thing - speaking out against sexual violence sure goes a long way to keeping us in the sport.

Now, more than ever before, we must ensure a safe and inclusive training environment at our academies. We must do this by holding ourselves and our teammates to the highest standards of the martial arts code. At the core of these values lies respect for others and for ourselves.

Sincerely,

Kru Melanie