Refresh | Add To Favorites | Share | Email | Subscribe | Check IPs
 


Girl wont except fighter lifestyle


[ 1 ] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 LP
From: DanTheWolfman Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:20 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 3821
 
The new women in my life says today she can't except my fighter lifestyle. I am so stressed today, and has caused me to miss training. She is new in my life, but was becoming a serious thing. She wasn't one of my typical bar fly girls that I get bored of. She didn't call me yesterday, and like a good guy I called her between my training sessions in my car. Tried to explain to her what it is like 4-6 weeks leading up to a fight, but rest of time fairly easy. Today calls and doesn't think we are in the same place in life. She's 31, me 26. I'm like, what does it matter, nothing will matter for 2-3 years anyway in a relationship. Your not going to get married or get a house together before than anyway. I figure, This sport and myself I will either be in a certain place within two years now that I am dedicated and know it is definately going somewhere and some financial success (between MMA and starting boxing career soon), or I won't and then can become a firefighter or cop or go back into military like she was talking to me about a few days ago. Just watched The Smashing Machine again, and I don't need those distractions. I told her I was upset she is making judgements before even watching my fights, or looking up anything on net or anything. She calls it "my boxing thing". I figured, fudge it were done whatever and made plans with one of my bar flies wanting to get over depression right away. But then she called and we talked, and she said she would like to talk in person probably tonight. I've left her a message since then and said I would appreciate getting together tonight and showing her some of the magazines I have been in, my fights, and one UFC fight (Tito vs. Randy. I am waiting to here back from her. Earliar she was saying now she thinks we need to be a more casual thing than boyfriend/girlfriend route we were going done. Now I am pissed off and hurt, but figure if she calls me tonight and will look at MMA then maybe she could still be my main thing, and someone I could take to christmas parties etc when I get back from upcoming fight. Frustrated, Dear MMA abby, what do I do? Similar stories? Honest advise? Needed to vent :)

From: wright4lfe 171 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:25 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 13-Sep-02
Posts: 2488
 
" She calls it "my boxing thing"." i want to start by saying i am no expert, but it seems like that statement alone shows that she isn't interested in taking an active role in your life. my g/f knows that mma is a big part of my life, even though i can't train right now cause i'm helping her take care of our 10 week old son. but she still makes a point to put local events on the calendar that she gets off of here/sherdog/mmaweekly, and reminds me when ppvs are on tv. funny thing is, she really doesn't like violence, but she knows the sport is important to me. i guess what i'm trying to get at is that if she really cared about you, and wanted to make the relationship work, she would take a much more active role in your life. much more so than calling pro mma fighting a "boxing thingy." move on to someone who wants to know YOU, not someone who wants you to cater to them.

From: RonMerrill Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:29 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 05-Sep-03
Posts: 143
 
Why are you coming to the UG for advice? Or are you seeking attention?

From: Fury2Feed 23 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:29 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 14-Sep-03
Posts: 465
 
My girl is cool. She buys me gloves and hand wraps and shit just because i'll complain mine are getting worn out.

From: wright4lfe 171 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:30 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 13-Sep-02
Posts: 2490
 
"Next time you talk to your English teacher, tell her she sucks." lol at work...thanks "Take some time and listen to her to find out her needs." thats enough dr. phil. i didn't know you posted on here. j/k gordon is right. take some time to listen what her concerns are before you make any major decisions...

From: mfah Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:39 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03 07:32 PM
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 1304
 
If you really care for each other and think something long term ( marriage someday) will come of it then she must understand this is part of you. If she loves you than she must also accept this part of you. She must realize that this is not a job, you cant walk away from it and just do something else, its your passion. Ask her how would she feel if you asked her to stop or give up something that she loved and defined her as a person. Perhaps a compromised can be reached tell you will take one day off of your normal day of training to be with her, show she is also important and fighting is not more important than her. In return the next day she will attend training with you see what you go through and see your passion for it. Hopefully after this she will see that you will make time for her but also understand this is who you are and you giveing it up for her wont help you two.

From: andre 371 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:40 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 6677
 
Dan, How many fights have you had? I was looking at your Sherdog record and it didnt look right. Are you sure you want to make a career out of MMA and risk losing a girl like that (not to mention several years of your life chasing a career that is profitable for only a VERY small percentage of people)? If the Sherdog record is correct, you have fought some great guys and there is no shame in losing to them, but dont you think you should fight in some small events to build up your skills and experience before you tackle another big show? Also, I dont think anyone successfully starts a boxing career at 26. Good luck.

From: JuicyJuice Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:40 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 17-Apr-03
Posts: 230
 
Don't give it up for a bitch, if you love it, find a girl who will accept you for who you are

From: mfah Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:47 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 1306
 
hes prob just venting and asking us since we have nothing better to do up sit at this site all day long :) also this is a good spot to get advice from otheirs that may have gone through this sort of thing

From: Kakkarotto_san 10 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:49 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 213
 
Don't lie Dan, we all know you could never find a girl... :) JK. All I have to say is this: If you can't change your woman, CHANGE your woman.

From: djones 19 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:50 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 1353
 
good luck

From: DanTheWolfman Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:55 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 3829
 
it's pretty new, so I understand me talking about MMA and injuries and training all the time is probably weird. She has called about 10 minutes ago and I am meeting her at 9pm at her house, though if one of her roomates is home that likes to get involved in drama she asked to go out and I've agreed. As for record, I've got 3 wins in MMA too, and 7-3 Submission Grappling, and Kudo fight against the champ and also sometimes Pancrase fighter Yamazaki. I will start in Golden Gloves or Diamond Gloves Amateur boxing soon. I met John Brown yesterday. In someone's maybe she has some valid concerns, as Andre points out, but, I need to try for a couple of more years and see. By then I figure I will know what to do, to continue or maybe finish B.A. or re-enter military, or get EMT and Paramedic certified if I need to to become a fire fighter or get into Detroit PD or FD. I've got the time to figure out, she says she doesn't. It's just the first girl in about 3 years I've felt anything for, where maybe it could be more than sport sex. Any to be made to feel like I am not good enough because of my dreams is bullshit.

From: Clint Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 7:58 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 12283
 
chicks just don't understand me man!

From: RingGrrl 15 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:01 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03 07:57 PM
CrossFit Los Angeles
Member Since: 13-Mar-03
Posts: 590
 
"Any to be made to feel like I am not good enough because of my dreams is bullshit." That should answer your question right there, Wolfman. It's the -beginning- of your relationship and already she's not supporting your goals and trying to change you. It's not going to go uphill from here. Even if you end up deciding not to make a career of fighting, it'll most likely still be a hobby, correct? If she can't handle it and doesn't want to learn about it, then you can find better.

From: DanTheWolfman Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:08 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 3830
 
Hehe, I'm emotional today, even spelling worse than usual when typing quick. Oh well. I admit I open myself to shit with certain posts, but so what. There was a post similar to this last week but more to do with long time girlfriends and wifes to people that train. What about when you first meet them. Today earliar on phone I said "I thought you were happy with your job, are you looking to quit working once your married?" And she said "I would like that option once I have kids", I said "Oh sorry, I didn't realyze you were a gold digger" and she hung up on me. Obviously we have talked a couple times since then, and tried to explain that many fighters are between 26 and 44 and still fighting and provides a good lifestyle for the family. I told her guys that make it like Couture can be around and be with kids, or do fun stuff with wife, and just have to go to the office 3-4 times per year and prepare harder than usual a month before hand. Otherwise it's like living a healthy retirement, you just have to work out a few hours a day, which I said is better than a businessman or manager working 70 hours per week. She says that's more stable, and what about afterwords. I brought up Severn making enough name of himself that he can go fight or prowrestle or do toughman a few times a month for $5000-$5500 a pop and has been putting away a nice nest egg for years. Plus, eventually I figure I can do some prowrestling in Japan for more shoot style promotions and have one potentially looking at me. I don't see anything wrong with boxing a few times a year, fighting MMA a few times a year, and maybe a couple of Pro-wrestling gigs per year just like many fighters have done (Kerr, Coleman, Tamura, Renzo, etc.)

From: DanTheWolfman Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:12 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 3831
 
RingGrrl, sounds about right, but I figure that we both deserve a bit of a chance first. She doesn't even know what MMA is yet. Trying to put myself in women's shoe's like Coleman's now wife and Kerr's former wife/girlfriend said they were like in The Smashing Machine. I figure if she excepts it a little maybe I can make her my #1 girl, with some real feelings, and have bar flies on the side. Either she will fade away, or become more supportive. I'll see if she gives me shit for training or gets in the way mentally again before my upcoming fight. Besides bouncing, I am now sleeping, training, and eating right full time and looking to really try. My weight went from 218 to 207 steady.

From: sovann 1 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:15 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 2889
 
That's tough man. Proverbs 3:5-6

From: boilerbrawn 25 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:18 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 03-Apr-02
Posts: 508
 
chicks are like cars, you can always get a newer better model.

From: DanTheWolfman Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:20 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 3833
 
I am already Fire 1, Fire 2, and Hazmat certified. Have 110 College credits but pretty diverse, with 26 in Criminal Justice. Maybe I could do the fighting thing, and as long as it's before 35 I think (Enson had problems with this) see if I could work something out with one the the branches of military to finish degree and go in as officer. My spelling might be bad, but I scored 89 on Asveb and could do just about anything. My best bet for Fire or Police would probably be Detroit, where I box anyway. And Police I passed both Detroit/MLETC physical and written tests with an A and was in process but cut a few years ago because at the time and to many points on my drivers liscense to be insured because of speeding. The sport of MMA is growing and I have not given up on it, and boxing is becoming a real possibility.

From: AtlantaHammer Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:20 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 19-Aug-03
Posts: 715
 
One problem that I see with that lifestyle, Wolfman, is injuries. If you break something, you could be out of a job. Regards, AH

From: sovann 1 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:21 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 2892
 
"I said "Oh sorry, I didn't realyze you were a gold digger" and she hung up on me." This is an area of communication you can probably improve on. LOL! Follow your heart.

From: DanTheWolfman Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:21 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 3834
 
Hey Pat, good to here from you. I used the line from the other thread last week I said "I won't ask you to stop being a women, don't ask me to stop being a man"

From: Tanky Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:26 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 1166
 
simply pathetic

From: mr nemo Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:41 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 1968
 
Sounds like she's thinking of herself and not supporting you, could be the tip of the iceberg. Warning lights flashing.

From: mfah Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 11/6/03 8:50 PM
Edited: 06-Nov-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 1309
 
"And she said "I would like that option once I have kids"" Wanting to be there and raise her children her self and not have a babysitter or a daycare do that for her/your children is a great thing and a sign she is will be a good mother. "I figure if she excepts it a little maybe I can make her my #1 girl, with some real feelings, and have bar flies on the side. Either she will fade away, or become more supportive." Smooth romeo, maybe your not the right guy for her, forget my earlier advice

Refresh | Add To Favorites | Share | Email | Subscribe | Check IPs
 

[ 1 ] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 LP

Reply Post

This thread has been frozen.

Shop | Contact Us | Advertising | Create Account | Links