"I was stuck wondering, what am I going to do now? Am I going to put on a tie and go to work, or am I going to fight? I really hit a crossroads. I felt like I was stuck in between, and I didn't know what I wanted to do."
"You're just sitting there going, this is terrible. I can't even buy a win. It's so frustrating. And then, how do you find the happiness and the willingness to go train? It's a huge crush to your self-esteem. You just can't win. But you have to sit back and look at what you're doing wrong. It doesn't help anything to sit there saying to myself, you're a loser."
"I'm trying to put Lil' Evil to bed, if that makes sense, so I can retire the right way, and so I can be done the right way. I can't go out the way I've gone. Not from being a world champion to losing six fights in a row. I want to give it one more shot."
That's why, despite six fight losing streak, Pulver packed his bags three months ago and moved in to Curran's facility, living in a small room above the gym and foregoing time with his family in order to focus on the fight.
"This is my first training camp where all I have to do is go downstairs and train. I'm right here at the gym. I've got no TV, no computer. I just work on my skills, my mind, and I just shut the real world off. My wife, God love her, she's handling that part well. Now I'm just sitting in my training camp all the time."
"I'm not doing it for the financial side of it. Does it help? Of course. Do I need the money? Absolutely. But it's more about proving to myself that I can get back. You only live once. Can I make up for the things that I've done wrong, for the people I've disappointed? Can I still get out there and fight? That's what I want to prove to myself."
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Jens Puvler fights at XFO 38 on Jan. 22.
MMA gear now available at the UG Store