Knowingly or unknowingly, Fuel TV has given Chael Sonnen a pedastal to blast his future opponents when they hired him as an analyst on their weekly show UFC Tonight. On last night's episode, Sonnen wrote a poem for Jones Jones, who he squares off against on April 27th:
I got a call one day from Dana, he said 'Chael, I'm putting you to work.'
'You see, I overpaid for this light heavy, who I now realize is a jerk.'
'He's been winning fights, but not with brains or with brawn.
'And his matches and his one-armed cartwheels are making the whole crowd yawn.
'I mean, nobody's coming to see him in living rooms or in bars.
'Why don't you send this guy to Cirque de Soleil, or Dancing with the Stars?'
He handed me his wallet, his ATM card and pin number too.
He said, 'Chael, whatever's in the account, take it, it's all for you.'
I thought for a moment and I said, 'I'll tell you what, Uncle D.
'For you and the fans, this one's on me.'
So I went and did some homework, I got some tapes of his fights.
I suggest you all give them a try, if you're having trouble sleeping at night.
They tell me he's good, but I know that can't be true,
I saw him get armbarred by Vitor, and he's 52!
He's so boring he made Machida fall asleep.
The snoozefest he had against Rashad, or beating up on Bonnar, who's older than God?
Look, here's the truth, believe me it is.
Don't even mention Ryan Bader, he lost to Tito Ortizz!
Jon, I'm coming to New Jersey, because I've got a job to do.
I'm a fully-loaded cannon, boy, and I'm pointed right at you.
A little advice, go get in your car and hit another tree.
Do whatever you gotta do to stay away Jon, you don't want to fight me.
“This is the official website of the Mixed Martial Arts llc. Commercial
reproduction, distribution or transmission of any part or parts of this website
or any information contained therein by any means whatsoever without the prior
written permission is not permitted.”