Sonnen: 'Jones, you don't want to fight me'


Knowingly or unknowingly, Fuel TV has given Chael Sonnen a pedastal to blast his future opponents when they hired him as an analyst on their weekly show UFC Tonight. On last night's episode, Sonnen wrote a poem for Jones Jones, who he squares off against on April 27th:

I got a call one day from Dana, he said 'Chael, I'm putting you to work.'
'You see, I overpaid for this light heavy, who I now realize is a jerk.'
'He's been winning fights, but not with brains or with brawn.
'And his matches and his one-armed cartwheels are making the whole crowd yawn.
'I mean, nobody's coming to see him in living rooms or in bars.
'Why don't you send this guy to Cirque de Soleil, or Dancing with the Stars?'
He handed me his wallet, his ATM card and pin number too.
He said, 'Chael, whatever's in the account, take it, it's all for you.'
I thought for a moment and I said, 'I'll tell you what, Uncle D.
'For you and the fans, this one's on me.'
So I went and did some homework, I got some tapes of his fights.
I suggest you all give them a try, if you're having trouble sleeping at night.
They tell me he's good, but I know that can't be true,
I saw him get armbarred by Vitor, and he's 52!
He's so boring he made Machida fall asleep.
The snoozefest he had against Rashad,
or beating up on Bonnar, who's older than God?
Look, here's the truth, believe me it is.
Don't even mention Ryan Bader, he lost to Tito Ortizz!
Jon, I'm coming to New Jersey, because I've got a job to do.
I'm a fully-loaded cannon, boy, and I'm pointed right at you.
A little advice, go get in your car and hit another tree.
Do whatever you gotta do to stay away Jon, you don't want to fight me.

transcription by

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Recent Comments »

dbeedy site profile image  

3/22/13 3:10 AM by dbeedy

Love it

JetSetter site profile image  

3/22/13 2:40 AM by JetSetter

Chaels a joke. Embarrassment to the UFC if you ask me.

MMA6053 site profile image  

3/22/13 12:42 AM by MMA6053

absolutely, said it for years.Bispings in the same mould.

fanaticomma site profile image  

3/21/13 7:29 PM by fanaticomma

This guy is gold.....not as a fighter but as an entertainer.

Lux Fixxins site profile image  

3/21/13 5:27 PM by Lux Fixxins

God I hope Chael wins.

hogh20 site profile image  

3/21/13 5:17 PM by hogh20

Jones by flying triangle

mrjedens site profile image  

3/21/13 4:20 PM by mrjedens

it's funny and all, and i guess if you're into the WWE aspect of fighting then you'd enjoy it, but this is all he's got cause he's never going to beat jones. i guess he could pull off a matt serra.

Matrixkick site profile image  

3/21/13 3:35 PM by Matrixkick

Wtf? Did you ever watch Pride?!Knees/ kicks to downed opponents generally favor wrestlers.You know the kinda control where the fight goes...

Leghound site profile image  

3/21/13 2:57 PM by Leghound

Nice poem but Jones by pure massacre

YourJesus site profile image  

3/21/13 2:10 PM by YourJesus

more childish dumbsheeyat that is eaten up by people who should be watching WWF instead of mma.It was funny at first, now sophomoric at best.Here's hoping one day the unified rules allow for kicks/knees to the head of a downed opponent so that all these boring ass wrestlers have less of an advantage in the cage. Also, as mma training gains traction around the world, it will be refreshing to see superior athletes with world class kickboxing and td defense. There is still too much mediocre striking in the UFC along with horrible grappling point-fighters. Thank g-d for fighters like Andy Silva (a man who not only exemplifies the apex of striking, but of defense as well. true martial arts entails neutralizing the opponent while taking minimal damage; not a brawling slug fest that most mma fan simpletons enjoy). When that man retires, mma will suffer a serious blow.He is Hoost, with the accuracy and evasion (head and footwork) of RJJ, with Bruce Lee sprinkled on top. Not too shabby in the grappling dept either. Just needs some Jonny Bones take down defense. Let's see how he faces up against the bigger, more athletic sakuraba with a terrible new york accent in july.