I was going to respond earlier than this, but I first wanted to get the chance to watch my fight from last night in order to verify that I looked as bad as I thought I did. So I just got the chance to watch it, and I didn't look nearly as bad as I thought. I looked worse. Way, way, worse.
I don't know what the hell that shit was supposed to be, nor do I have any explanation, excuses, theories or anything else. I can promise all you guys, my fans and haters alike, that the next time you see me embarrass myself in an MMA cage, will be the last time. I embarrassed myself in the Struve fight so badly that I thought I could never top it. Last night was worse times ten.
I have absolutely no explanation for my cardio problems. I don't know if it's a physical problem, psychological problem, a diet or a training problem. I do know that I have struggled with cardiovascular endurance my entire athletic career. Even during high school basketball. I can't figure it out. I was coming off back to back training camps when I fought Stefan Struve that had lasted a literal 23 weeks. That's almost 6 months straight 6 days a week of intense cardiovascular training. And I gassed in 90 seconds.
All of that said, I will admit 100% like an idiot, despite Tom Erikson's constant pleading to me to never take any fight for granted, I underestimated Brian Heden. I watched 2 of his fights, looked at who he'd fought and beat/lost to and thought "If I couldn't beat this guy while I was drunk, I need to quit fighting." And I couldn't beat him sober. I came in about 20 lbs heavier than I should have. I resorted to throwing hay makers 2 minutes in, because I was worried about how it would look if I didn't finish him in the first round. I was completely spent halfway through the first.
I'm not going to be like everyone else and make excuses. I have none. All due respect to Brian because he showed up in decent shape, and showed a lot of balls hanging in there when the going got rough in the first round, but he's not on my level, skill wise, athletically, or any other area of MMA except cardio. It doesn't matter how nice or fast your car is, if there's no gas in the tank.
The next time I gas in a fight and lose because of it, I will retire. End of story. I will not continue to embarrass myself, my family, my coaches, my training partners, or the promotion that is paying me to fight ever again. Losing sucks. Losing because you didn't prepare correctly for a fight sucks even more.
I catch a lot of heat from a lot of people on here and twitter who buy into my whole persona. I know that the reason I have so many haters is mostly my fault. I'm OK with that. I once read a book by Eric Bischoff titled "Controversy Creates Cash", and have used a lot of Bischoff's ideas and philosophies to market myself. It has helped me become mildly famous, and gets me paid way better than I should be, so I have no regrets about that. The one thing that does bother me though is that so many fans genuinely seem to hate who they think I am, when that really is not me at all. I'm the nicest guy in the world in real life. Almost too nice. People that really know me can't believe that I fight. They also say they can't believe their eyes or ears when they watch me in interviews. It's like a completely different person. I guess I really wish people understood that it's all supposed to be funny, even when it's not. That I have absolutely no malicious intent behind anything I say. I'm just trying to make you guys laugh.
I don't really know where I go from here. My plan was to fight once a month, every month in 2012 until I racked up so many wins that the UFC couldn't deny me another shot. But that loss last night, pretty much erases my 6 straight wins before that, and now I'm kind of back to square one. Wherever and whenever I decide to fight next, I can promise you that I will be a completely different fighter than what you guys saw last night. If not, you'll never see me again.
I want to thank all my supporters and fans, and even thank the haters I have that are genuinely funny, because I laugh at jokes about me all the time. Funny is funny.
All of that said, I love you bitches on the UG. You guys crack me up.