A FEW MONTHS LATER IN the middle of winter, we had trouble with this big, tall, Amazon kind of girl, and when we told her she had to go, she went completely insane. It ended up with me holding her arms and upper torso, another guy holding her legs, and a third guy holding the door while she fought us with everything she had. Her boyfriend was in the club too, but he just stayed put and let us carry his crazy bitch away! (laughs)
We took her outside and put her down in the middle of the street, and she started yelling about how we “violated” her because her skirt had rode up and, well, things were showing. But hey, that wasn’t our fault -- you don’t want your stuff showing, don’t act a fool in a skirt.
When she got up off the pavement, she was looking for REVENGE. She ran at us, attacked us, and that’s when I hit my limit. This chick had to get dealt with. But of course you can’t punch a girl, so instead I armdragged her, took her down, and pinned her to the ground. But this chick was strong, crazy, and First Nations -- which is a really dangerous combination -- so I stepped over into the full mount [straddling her chest] and got as much of my weight on her as possible. But that just made her even crazier -- kicking, scratching, ripping my clothes -- so I pushed her hand down, wrapped my leg around the back of her neck, and put her in a mounted triangle choke! (laughs)
Now remember, this is winter in Prince George -- it’s like, MINUS THIRTY-FIVE, and we’re in the middle of the street with me mounted on top of her! But she STILL wouldn’t settle down -- in fact, she was bucking and thrashing so much that we ended up back on the sidewalk! I’ll tell you, man, it was some serious rodeo shit -- I should have got a prize for staying on top for more than eight seconds.
The only thing that saved me was that every time she’d start freaking out, I would squeeze my legs and cut off the blood to her brain. That would calm her down until I relaxed and the blood came back to her head, and then she’d start freaking out again. So I just kept turning her off, letting her wake up, and turning her off again. (laughs) It was completely fucking insane!
Eventually the cops drove up, and you can imagine what it looked like to them. When they got out of the car I said, “I’ve got her triangled, but when I let her go she’s gonna freak out so you guys better be ready.” But thankfully she decided it wasn’t a good idea to freak out at cops, and she did what they told her to do and the whole thing finally settled down.
Only in Prince George, man! (laughs)