When We Were Bouncers: Ragin' Kajan Johnson

 

Actor/stuntman/fighter Paul "The Mauler" Lazenby has an awesome new Facebook page - When We Were Bouncers. Every Monday he presents a crazy new story from former security personnel who went on to become actors, fighters, comedians, pro wrestlers, stuntmen and other standouts in their chosen fields.

He recently sat down with Canadian fighter 'Ragin' Kajan Johnson, who turned pro in 2002 at the age of 17, and won last week on TUF Nations.

A FEW MONTHS LATER IN the middle of winter, we had trouble with this big, tall, Amazon kind of girl, and when we told her she had to go, she went completely insane. It ended up with me holding her arms and upper torso, another guy holding her legs, and a third guy holding the door while she fought us with everything she had. Her boyfriend was in the club too, but he just stayed put and let us carry his crazy bitch away! (laughs)

We took her outside and put her down in the middle of the street, and she started yelling about how we “violated” her because her skirt had rode up and, well, things were showing. But hey, that wasn’t our fault -- you don’t want your stuff showing, don’t act a fool in a skirt.

When she got up off the pavement, she was looking for REVENGE. She ran at us, attacked us, and that’s when I hit my limit. This chick had to get dealt with. But of course you can’t punch a girl, so instead I armdragged her, took her down, and pinned her to the ground. But this chick was strong, crazy, and First Nations -- which is a really dangerous combination -- so I stepped over into the full mount [straddling her chest] and got as much of my weight on her as possible. But that just made her even crazier -- kicking, scratching, ripping my clothes -- so I pushed her hand down, wrapped my leg around the back of her neck, and put her in a mounted triangle choke! (laughs)

Now remember, this is winter in Prince George -- it’s like, MINUS THIRTY-FIVE, and we’re in the middle of the street with me mounted on top of her! But she STILL wouldn’t settle down -- in fact, she was bucking and thrashing so much that we ended up back on the sidewalk! I’ll tell you, man, it was some serious rodeo shit -- I should have got a prize for staying on top for more than eight seconds.

The only thing that saved me was that every time she’d start freaking out, I would squeeze my legs and cut off the blood to her brain. That would calm her down until I relaxed and the blood came back to her head, and then she’d start freaking out again. So I just kept turning her off, letting her wake up, and turning her off again. (laughs) It was completely fucking insane!

Eventually the cops drove up, and you can imagine what it looked like to them. When they got out of the car I said, “I’ve got her triangled, but when I let her go she’s gonna freak out so you guys better be ready.” But thankfully she decided it wasn’t a good idea to freak out at cops, and she did what they told her to do and the whole thing finally settled down.

Only in Prince George, man! (laughs)

Check out www.facebook.com/FamousBouncers for more bouncer stories from stars in a wide variety of pursuits. For UG Blog excerpts for MMA Fighters, check out:
When We Were Bouncers: Aaron Riley
When We Were Bouncers: Tom Erikson
When We Were Bouncers: Paul Cheng
When We Were Bouncers: Shayna Baszler
When We Were Bouncers: Gary Myers
When We Were Bouncers: Jonathan Goulet
When We Were Bouncers: Gene LeBell
When We Were Bouncers: John Lober
When We Were Bouncers: Paul Varelans
When We Were Bouncers: Pat Miletich (someone gets attacked with a pitchfork)
When We Were Bouncers: Renzo Gracie (he bounced in a brothel at 14)

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Recent Comments »

NicolasExitBJJ site profile image  

1/29/14 4:33 AM by NicolasExitBJJ

never hit a woman unless she's batshit crazy trying to claw your eyes out, then all bets are off

YuckFou site profile image  

1/29/14 1:10 AM by YuckFou

Prince George represent!!! LOL.I bet this happened at the Generator.

hooha site profile image  

1/26/14 5:35 PM by hooha

I was plenty scared working there! It was a bar called "Double Deuce" which used to be filled with old punks, young street punks and barflies (old and young). Then the place suddenly started becoming a full-blown RM hangout where they made a deal with the owner to just basically take the place over. They even got rid of the weed dealer who had been there for years and replaced him with some creepy, goodfellas-y guy who dealt everything. This was during the worst of it; bars being blown up, lots of killing and brutal wars between HA and RM. So many crazy (and awful) stories... I would never say nice things about the Hell's Angels, but I have to say that they were way more controlled than Rock Machine in those days. RM would beat the hell out of regular folks if they felt like it, while HA kept a lower profile (almost more "professional"?). Too many horrible stories to tell here!But in the end, I had to go. They were fighting all the time in the bar (amongst themselves and with patrons) and their women were just as aggressive. They were the real thing, giant, armed bikers wearing their colors. What could I do? These guys would kill me or blow up my home (with me in it) for the fun of it!I had been there for almost 2 years but once those guys came I didn't even last 2 months - so I don't really deserve those props Kikik! (Honored to have you reply to my post by the way!!)

Kirik site profile image  

1/22/14 6:21 PM by Kirik

Jesus man, I would be too scared work as a doorman at a place that was frequented by Rock Machine. Dunno if they are even still around, but what do you do if one of them is sloppy drunk and aggressive? Give him free booze until he passes out? Those guys and the HA guys they went to war with were at some different planet of crazy tough. They killed like way over 100 of each other. I don't think there is even any equivalent in the US. They made Whitey Bulger look like a calm guy. I mean how many people died in the Irish Gang war in the 60s? Maybe 10? Rock Machine vs HA killed more people than were even in those gangs total I bet. I give you all the props in the world for that.

ShawnTheBadger site profile image  

1/22/14 6:11 PM by ShawnTheBadger

As a former bouncer I love these stories. In my experience, women can and on occassion do take things too far.  It's rare, but it happens. Like in the above example.

Billyz site profile image  

1/22/14 5:52 PM by Billyz

Truth, Thankfully I never had to deal with something that crazy but unfotunately there are situations where you cant get away. I was in downtown Ft Lauderdale in 06, it was packed on the strip where everyone walks from bar to bar. While walking my buddies and I see some hood rat girl instantly go pyscho on some poor shmuck that bumped into and spilled his beer. The guy was apologizing profusely and she just wails on him. He was so shocked he just pushed her away out of instinct. This only enraged the princess to go straight for his face with her nails. Guy did his best to get away and even turned his back to try and walk/run away. Sadly she grabbed a hold of his shirt (she wasn't the smallest of girls either) and from behind clawed his face and one nail went in his eye. Instantly drawing blood (kids face looked like a damn mountain lion mauled him with bleeding claw marks raked down his face and his eye gushing blood). The kid went down screaming and holding his eye... and then she started kicking him while he was on all fours holding his eye while screaming "thats right punk" repeatedly with her lovely lady friends cheering her on. Bouncer who saw the whole thing runs to break it up, crazy girl takes a swing at him. He blocks and boom knocks her on her ass with a hook... People actually clapped until the rest of her pack go after the bouncer. Luckily Cops ran over with tasers drawn which stopped them dead in there tracks.Never hit a woman but then again a real "Woman" doesn't behave like that or attack a man who is not threatening her let alone not defending himself and try to maim him.

InconsiderateSerra site profile image  

1/22/14 4:26 PM by InconsiderateSerra

This discussion has rumbled through the OG a few times. People who chant YOU CAN'T EVER HIT A GIRL (and even though he choked her out, 100% of people who chant that mantra would consider that the same as hiting her) have never dealt with a psychotic bitch off the chain. Its an example of a dumb idealogy that doesn't not work in the real world. Some crazy bitch is out to hurt you, knock her the fuck out.

hooha site profile image  

1/22/14 4:17 PM by hooha

this one grossed me out. Of course you can't hit a girl (especially a drunk, native, crazy bitch) but you can drag her to the pavement (in the middle of the street), mount her and repeatedly choke her out in sub-zero weather. Not saying he was wrong or right, just not the most entertaining or funny story that a bouncer can (or should)tell.I bounced in a bar in Montreal that was frequented regularly by Rock Machine (at one time the enemies of the Hells Angels) and there were plenty of problems with their women (similar to the one told here) and it was just fuggin' sad. What's fun or funny about having to get rough with women?

RollHighAllDay site profile image  

1/22/14 2:13 PM by RollHighAllDay

The best one yet.

WhoShotYushinOkami site profile image  

1/22/14 1:48 PM by WhoShotYushinOkami

for later  



 

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