Forrest: Think UFC would pay me not to tweet?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Best selling author and savior of the UFC brand Forrest Griffin has one of the most compelling Twitter accounts in the sport.

A sampling appears below.

Forrest Griffin @ForrestGriffin
The Official page for UFC fighter Forrest Griffin (unless you dont like it then its a parody account).

•Following Forrest Griffin on twitter will fill that emptiness in your life and that void in your soul but it wont fill any other hole

•Everytime a kid asks me how to be a great fighter? I say how would I know, then I say wrestle!!!

•Just to clarify being punch drunk is not as good as being drunk drunk

•Children are the best they can shit their pants without breaking eye contact with you. It just look like their thinking really hard

•Making babies is for pussies. Wait does that make sense. Why do you even let me have a twitter

•Valentines day gift ideas do your special lady… Knee pads???

•Interior decorating tip if you keep you house dark it looks less dirty. Candle light is not only romantic it’s also camouflagey

•My hobbies include shitting in exotic places. Damn video cameras everywhere

•Thankyou every magazine with cologne ads so my bathroom doesnt smell quite so bad. Dakar noir & poop

•Everywhere I go a conversation about the times one shat ones self arises. That’s my contribution to this world

•I feel like I’d be happier if I did large amounts of drugs

•Man that bitch is so tough she uses a wooden dildo because she like the splinters!

•If you have a shitty sense of humor check out the squatty potty. Then maybe try it.

•What kind of weak willed, needy pussy would actually be upset by things people say on twitter? You know besides me

•Disregard anything I say I have an IQ of 84. 14 points from mentally handicapped. Explains alot???

•Ya say smooth as a baby’s bottom it’s perfectly fine. Ya say smooth as a baby’s balls everyone treats you like a weirdo.

•You think I could get the UFC just to pay me not to tweet

Lorenzo Fertitta ‏@lorenzofertitta
@ForrestGriffin definitely!