TUF alum ‘Magical’ Ray Elbe fractures penis

Saturday, December 15, 2012

 If the UG is where you go to argue (about who would win a bout between Kimbo Slice and Ronda Rousey), the OG is where you go to laugh, sometimes uncomfortably.

There have been few threads as uncomfortably compelling as “Magical” Ray Elbe, founding member of Tiger Muay Thai and MMA, conducting an “Ask Me Anything” about his broken penis.

In the E.R. With a penis fracture AMA

From: Ray Elbe
Posted: 12 days ago
Member Since: 5/12/03
Posts: 9840
True story. Waiting for the specialist to arrive now. Seeking treatment in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia Phone Post

How did you get a penis fracture?

Ray Elbe
Girl was on top… Went higher than 8 1/2″ I’m the air and Arona’d my dyck.

Dr. Is sending me for ultra sound now…stuck waiting for the dyk specialist

Cecil People’s scored 30-27 for the penis..

How bad does it hurt?

Ray Elbe
When it first happened…blood was everywhere…to the point I passed out.
Falling face first I ko’d myself on the floor–very smally chipping two teeth and busting my chin–
10 stitches later…
My dyck is throbbing with each heart beat…but after the pain injection they’ve given me…the balls ache is gone

Looks like you got yourself into quite a predickament

In Limbo
wait wait wait…there was “blood everywhere”?!!?!??!
so you have an OPEN FRACTURE PEnis?!?

Ray Elbe
No open fracture.
Dr just did MRI.
Fracture and a slight tear in the urinary tube.
Surgery tonight…Dr. Said diagnostic is for a full recovery…though I’ll be in the hospital for 3 days…and be forced to take anti erection pills for 2 weeks.
Some pics…but they certainly aren’t og legal
It is still flowing from the one eye…

So have the asian nurses have been eyeing your impressive western package and wondering why they don’t make them like that in the east?

Ray Elbe
They have been trying to clean the dry blood of my swollen shaft in between my tears and pleads for them to be gentle

Achilles is the GOAT
I’m going to KL next month for 7 nights for a holiday.
What’s good to do there as a tourist apart from breaking your dick?

Ray Elbe
Zouk, twin towers, sunway pyramid.
Buy a bottle of booze at duty free in the airport as its expensive in a Muslim country

Ray Elbe
Okay…quick update.
Surgery was successful…(if you can say that)?!
I’ve been in the hospital since Monday, however they are expecting to discharge me tomorrow sometime. Medical bills are currently about 6,000$USD which is a fraction of what it would cost in the USA I’m sure.
I’ve been doped up most of the week, literally unable to move.
Their has been a tube stuck out of the small hole at the end of my pee-pee which has allowed me to go urinate without having to get out of the bed…however I must admit, seeing the amount of blood leaking from the hole onto the sheets has made me feel like puking every morning.
the worst part of this has been the fact that literally everyone who works in the hospital has come in asking to see my shaft out of curiosity. Guess in a muslim country this type of accident isn’t as frequent as you would suspect.
The doctor who performed my operation has done 3 others prior to mine…with the last being a 60 year old man, who had a full recovery.
Those of you asking for pics…I’ve taken some via my Iphone everyday…but trust me…they are brutal…the few friends I’ve sent them to have literally puked.
Lesson learned– I will never let a girl on top again. Everything was under control until 1 bounce went a ”little” too high.
…on a side note—looks like I will be getting engaged in Boracay next month.
she’s been by my side the entire time I’ve been going through this ordeal, even explaining to my folks back home why I needed $$$ transferred into my international account.
In an attempt to make it up to me…she has promised me a threesome of my choice when we get to the Philippines…which usually has some solid talent.

Ray Elbe
Today I learned the word enema.
Id heard of enemas before, truth be told lots of backpack loving hippies use to
get coffee induced enemas in Phuket as some part of a crazy “detox”
Unknowing giving them the wrong answer every time the nurse came into the room
asking about wether I went “2”?…they decided to enduce it.
Catheter still attached to my cawk, the nurse asked me to turn onto my side as
she plungered me from behind with an explosive diareah mixture from what felt
like a turkey master.
Sitting on my side for the longest 15 minutes of my life, my stomach exploded
from the inside as the catheter dilated my cawk hole to a diameter even a prego
crackwhore would be impressed with.
Topping this entire ordeal, the nurse grabbed my pee filled catheter bag from the bed, and Melvin Manhoef led me to the bathroom as I splattered the toilet with
a constant spray even Nick Diaz would have been impressed with.
suffering through the nurse stand in the bathroom and watch/listen/suffer this violent
eruption of 5 days worth of hospital food…I realized just how bad of a day
I’ve been having.
With turd speckled butt cheeks…the nurse then leaded me to the shower…where
she held my piss bag, as I used one hand to stabilize my throbbing “family
jewels”—and washed my turd covered booty–in the shower.
Terrible day.
On the bright side…they released me today.
17,000 RN so far…
But I can’t help but wonder how much this emergency ride/surgery would have cost
with good ol’ Obama Care….
My next appointment is Dec.19 where the Dr. Is going to remove the catheter
currently strapped to my leg and inspect the repairs after the surgery.
…please keep the well wishes for Minnie Me on your prayers lists…

Ray Elbe
Okay…back at the house now…still not moving around much, but figured I’d post a few pictures.

the first pic is the bathtub where I sprinted to from the bed as soon as the incident happened.

The second pic is me on the floor, with my feet elevated attempting to limit the blood loss. As I was in the tub, I felt myself feeling feint. Heading back towards the bed I passed out, knocking myself out on the tile floor due to impact and fracturing two teeth. After a few seconds I came through, and literally
dragged myself on the floor as my girl called the Malaysian equivalent of 911–>
Did the best I could in the emergency, elevating my legs and adding ice with compression in an attempt to stop the blood.The last pic is me in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

I’ll save everyone the pics of the surgery—and the subsequent follow up pics…as I truly don’t think any man alive would feel comfortable viewing them.
…All I can say is…
Jesus. This has been the worst medical experience of my lie so far.
Next follow up is in 10 days…and I’m hoping everything goes as planned.
My birthday is tomorrow…and I can honestly tell you…it will probably rank as one of the worst birthday’s I’ve ever ”celebrated”

Damn, poor Ebbie.
Sincerely, Roland

Ray Elbe
Actually made my birthday. Was in az n stopped by armadillo. Made me think of you and all that was glorious of the Mecca Watering house and your decorated EBay site of a house back in the day.
Man in old.

To ask Ray anything, check out the original thread.