Sunday, February 11, 2018

Mixed martial arts represents the purest exhibition of physical human struggle. At it’s greatest moments, it represents humanity at a peak so unimaginable it evokes three words – “Holy f***ing s***.”

And, somehow, every show, something fundamentally goofy happens. Or some things. UFC 221 was no exception.

Just days before Valentine’s day, post attempted decapitation, Yoel Romero got deep into the face of an obviously concussed Luke Rockhold, and kissed him, while repeating over and again, “I love you.”

The memes were unstoppable.

On a charmingly gross note, Tai Tuivasa drank a beer from his shoe during the walk back to the warm-up area.

On an odd, gross note, Israel Adesanya mimicked peeing all around the Octagon. In a post-fight interview with Submission Radio, he explained why.

On a gross, gross note, Rob Wilkinson spit blood on Israel Adesanya. Didn’t work out well for him.

The UFC started with only three rules – no biting, no fish hooking, and no eye gouging. On the grossest note, Li Jingliang escaped a sunk guillotine via blatant eye gouge, and ended up receiving an extra $50,000 from the Fight of the Night Performance bonus.

Let’s close with the words of a victorious Tyson Pedro.

“I’m a simple man,” he began. “So I’m going to go home, make love to my wife, go real fast on my motorbike, drink a generous amount of beer, get that title, get a million followers, and get on the Joe Rogan Podcast.”