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12/18/07 7:04 PM
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Edited: 18-Dec-07
Member Since: 01/18/2003
Posts: 13308
(I have seen a beautiful thing I found it hiding softly Burrowed beneath calm breaths looking at me and hoping I didnt notice it shrinking back when reached for it) I AM That is all I profess to know at this moment I could say nothing has happened up until now That maybe I made up my memories or they were implanted by an experimental hand They are worthy lessons nonetheless begging examination... Like my first memory for example: Having my foster dad come see me in the hospital The crib-style hospital bed and nascar on the T.V. He asked me if I liked it and I said yes I must have outgrown it in a week or two, thank God Or the memory of getting adopted by a 30-something loving couple who had arrived at the point in their lives where they wanted nothing more than to have children to love and watch grow up We had halloween costumes that day and said BOO to mock-scared adults that didnt know what they were getting themselves in to. A hotel for visitation Laying held in their arms as they looked forward with hope to what would come I blocked the memory of the woman who gave birth to me and replaced her with peaceful beginnings I would often dream that a phone call would come, announcing that it was time to go back to feeling detached and wandering with no sense of direction and feeling relieved when I realized it was only dream I remember tricking my little sister into believing I was Superman (half believing it myself) and hugging her to me as I prepared to fly... But telling her she wasnt ready yet, promising to do it another day Riding our bigwheels invincible not a worry in the world except snakes and spiderwebs and the occasional deserved ass whupping for daring to step outside the boundries A kindergarten kiss behind the looking glass with the whole class watching teacher, unaware, still in the hallway Catching two girls watching me pee through the vent in the bathroom and not caring smiling even 25 years later I still long for my bigwheel For a few hours with my sister playing Pac-man, trying to make it to the pear board For an afternoon in the sandbox waiting for Dad to get home from work sifting through the cat turds while building a sandcastle to destroy 25 years from now I will be writing these same damn pages longing for my 20's and 30's and especially for my innocense
12/19/07 7:40 AM
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Edited: 19-Dec-07
Member Since: 08/05/2002
Posts: 6279
wtf is this

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