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UnderGround Forums >> Chuck Norris Jokes!!!


3/11/09 11:53 PM
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ARTISTofMMA
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Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird...

I know you foolios have some good ones.
3/11/09 11:55 PM
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Birdman3015
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3/11/09 11:58 PM
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TheOne
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Before the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
3/12/09 12:00 AM
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Birdman3015
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A new one I heard

Chuck Norris is not 69. 69 is Chuck Norris
3/12/09 12:00 AM
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czwthemerph
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to say WRONG FORUM ASSHOLE.
3/12/09 12:02 AM
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TheOne
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czwthemerph - Chuck Norris doesn't have to say WRONG FORUM ASSHOLE.


idk about that, chuck is a martial artist.

ehh idk its grey area
3/12/09 12:05 AM
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ARTISTofMMA
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I love the UG...
3/12/09 12:06 AM
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ballet of violence
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 there is a legend that say chuck wrote the first dictionary ever, and the definition for every word was a high spinning roundhouse kick

when chuck does pushups he doesnt push his body up, he pushes the earth away
3/12/09 12:08 AM
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McSpice
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 the first giraffe was created when chuck norris uppercutted a horse
3/12/09 12:20 AM
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yakumomutsu
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Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch you in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris aces all tests he takes by writing "Violence". To Chuck Norris violence solves everything.
3/12/09 12:20 AM
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Stakk5150
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I think I can take chuck norris
3/12/09 12:23 AM
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ARTISTofMMA
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Chuck Norris does not like to wear a watch He decides what time it is.
3/12/09 12:24 AM
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ballet of violence
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Edited: 03/12/09 12:24 AM
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Stakk5150 - I think I can take chuck norris

 which chuck norris?

69 yr old dusty bones is the only one you could handle

delta force chuck slams your ass in the sand and puts a combat boot to your throat 
3/12/09 12:26 AM
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yakumomutsu
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Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the periodic table, the only element he believes in is the element of suprise.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris stole your bike.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
3/12/09 12:26 AM
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archer0545
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McSpice -  the first giraffe was created when chuck norris uppercutted a horse

 LMAO....awesome!
3/12/09 12:28 AM
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Tbone58
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Chuck Norris went on vacation to the "virgin islands", when he left, they were known as the "islands"
3/12/09 12:30 AM
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yakumomutsu
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It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.


On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
3/12/09 12:32 AM
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Birdman3015
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hahahaha
3/12/09 12:36 AM
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yakumomutsu
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It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
3/12/09 12:50 AM
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ARTISTofMMA
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Chuck Norris personal TOTAL GYM requires welding after every rep.
3/12/09 1:01 AM
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Billyz
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From: Birdman3015 Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile
Posted: 59 minutes ago
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A new one I heard

Chuck Norris is not 69. 69 is Chuck Norris


Holy crap that was me who wrote that...today I think dear god I have created a Chuck Norris joke and lived Chuck probably hasn't heard it yet or I would have ceased to exist via CNRHK
3/12/09 1:21 AM
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PembrokePinesVillain
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when chuck norris turned in his tax forms all he submitted was a picture of himself, crouched and ready to strike

to this day chuck norris has never paid his taxes
3/12/09 1:22 AM
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PembrokePinesVillain
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Edited: 03/12/09 1:23 AM
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chuck norris kicks so fast, one time during a karate tourney he went for a round house and his foot went so fast it went back in time and kicked emelia airheart in the head as she was flying over the atlantic
3/12/09 2:35 AM
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Gigantor
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Chuck Norris stirs the camp fire with his cock.
3/12/09 2:46 AM
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4Green4
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Chuck Norris sleeps with the lights on!!!.... not because he's scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of him!

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