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Hawai'i Underground >> not sure if I should be offended


5/8/09 5:54 AM
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PatrickFreitas
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SMALL KINE FRAT STORY...


So I'm walking out of a neighborhood restaurant last night with my girlfriend and there are two Right-Said-Fred-lookin' bald dudes standing outside and looking in. Seemed like they were checking the place out. They made eye contact with me as I stepped out, and I could tell they were gearing up to ask me something. I really expected them to ask me if the place was good. (And it is good...an awesome Katsu place 2 minutes walk from my apt). But I was caught off guard when they asked (in a German accent):

"Excuze me, which iz zee way to 'Splash,' zee gay dance club?"

Now, I live in the Chelsea neighborhood, which is kinda the gay capital of Manhattan. I got no problems with the mahus, in general. They make for great neighbors...and our community is clean, has great restaurants, and is free of children.

I know there's a gay club on the same street as my apt, cuz I hear that friggin place's thumping euro-techno music until 4am on the weekends. So, I pointed the homos in the direction of that club, which is the only gay club I know of. But the Germanic gheys gleefully responded...

"No! Zat's 'G-club,' vee vant to go to 'Splash!' Zee one weeth zee waterfall. You know which one, of course?'

I quickly countered..."Um, no I DON'T KNOW which one has the waterfall cuz I've never been there. Good luck in your search."

I don't look, act, walk, dress, or emit any homo aura. I'm usually unshaven, unshowered, scratchin', and swearin' in my basketball shorts and stained Tee's. I was pretty upset that of all the people walking by, these guys thought I would be the one to know the location of Splash, the gay dance club.


My girlfriend says that I should take it as a compliment. REALLY?
5/8/09 5:57 AM
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NECKCRANK808
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hey ...snaps fingers
5/8/09 6:00 AM
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PatrickFreitas
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Snaps in a 'Z' formation?
5/8/09 6:07 AM
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meatrokket
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PatrickFreitas - 

I don't look, act, walk, dress, or emit any homo aura. I'm usually unshaven, unshowered, scratchin', and swearin' in my basketball shorts and stained Tee's. I was pretty upset that of all the people walking by, these guys thought I would be the one to know the location of Splash, the gay dance club.

 they probably thought you were a top you unshaven, unshowered, basketball short wearing piece of man meat.
5/8/09 6:09 AM
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Reenz
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they like stank and stubble.. they're from europe remember?
5/8/09 6:14 AM
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SubdudePsyche
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PatrickFreitas - .... I'm usually unshaven, unshowered, scratchin', and swearin' in my basketball shorts and stained Tee's.....




obviously this IS the new ghey sheik. lol
5/8/09 6:16 AM
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NECKCRANK808
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PatrickFreitas - Snaps in a 'Z' formation?



no just one powerful snap
5/8/09 6:19 AM
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PatrickFreitas
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SubdudePsyche -
PatrickFreitas - .... I'm usually unshaven, unshowered, scratchin', and swearin' in my basketball shorts and stained Tee's.....




obviously this IS the new ghey sheik. lol

So I should start wearing super-skinny jeans with tucked-in polos?
5/8/09 7:18 AM
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Moke
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"I'm usually unshaven, unshowered, scratchin', and swearin' in my basketball shorts and stained Tee's."

Are you bringing down real estate values in Manhattan?
5/8/09 7:48 AM
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PatrickFreitas
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Moke - "I'm usually unshaven, unshowered, scratchin', and swearin' in my basketball shorts and stained Tee's."

Are you bringing down real estate values in Manhattan?

Yes...yes, I am. The gays must hate that I live among them in their ritzy village.

And I left out that I'm usually the only one in my 'hood who wears rubbah slippahs every day. Everyone else got expensive leather shoes or brightly-colored Converse Chucks.
5/8/09 10:50 AM
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JIMMYNAKS
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BEEP!!
5/8/09 11:18 AM
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tjmitch
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So did you enjoy the spit roast they gave you after you guys went to Splash?
5/8/09 12:35 PM
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FCTV808
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so did you touch their monkey?

it was not a compliment.
5/8/09 2:15 PM
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PatrickFreitas
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I did not got involved with their monkeys and I avoided the spit roast...as well as the beef strokanoff.
5/8/09 2:33 PM
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JIMMYNAKS
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Gay guys always say that "They can tell"


Just sayin

;-)
5/8/09 3:13 PM
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Mr Anaconda
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You should've come back with a joke:

"What's the difference between my freezer and you mahus?"

"My freezer doesn't fart when I pull my meat out"

And on the bright side, it was a compliment in girl's eyes cause they are forever saying the best looking guys are either married or gay - so maybe your gf will brag to all her gf's about how these gay guys thought you were gay too (therefore increasing any peripheral side salad possibilities or future options)

Carry on Spartan
5/8/09 3:26 PM
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PatrickFreitas
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Edited: 05/08/09 3:27 PM
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I knew I could count on the support of the HG to make me feel better about myself.
5/8/09 3:57 PM
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Faxapreta
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Maybe gays like the rugged look. As Moke can attest from some of his past 'adult' jobs.

I kinda had the same thing but it was more of a direct, in-direct comment to me.

I was walking be a couple that was having dinner. And the guy fully stops in mid conversation and says in a completly mahu voice "Yummy, he's sooo hot." I turned to look if I really heard what I thought I did. And saw him licking his lips. I my self think im ugly bastid. Even apparent got a new move that is loosely named after me the Chewbaka, which if anyone says to do they look at me and laugh. So really I don't get, unless the mahu is the fully femme kinda and looking for a rough neck kinda guy to man handle them.

At first I was a little disturbed by the comment. But i rationalized, I can't help what he thinks. Then my ex-g/f said I wonder what he fanatasizes about you. Which through me into the deep end. Im not homophobic but I keep gays at a distance, more distance from my arss then anything.

Did that gay marriege bill pass??
5/8/09 4:12 PM
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SubdudePsyche
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Sometimes ghey is not ghey, and sometimes it's just plain ghey
5/8/09 5:07 PM
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Moke
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"Did that gay marriege bill pass??"

What do you have in mind big boy?

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