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UnderGround Forums >> ATTN Tito!!! FUTA1! RED ALERT!!!!


8/28/09 12:32 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Fare well, brothers.

It happens to all of us Pernicious.

And, so AWAY.

I expect reports upon the morrow.
8/28/09 12:33 AM
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lookoutawhale
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*puts on bulletproof vest*

shit just got real.

Ok we are going to need guys on the northwest quadrant of this thread and one guy on the balcony looking down to see if they get can spot Futa approaching.

Im going to need one girl to operate the crane to load boxes onto the ferry.

ill be outside in the limo with the prime minister to make sure everything is running smoothly for jupiter.
8/28/09 12:42 AM
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Squared Circle
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Edited: 08/28/09 12:52 AM
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The Antidote scarecrows I've set up in this thread will ensure that no FUTA1 shows. 
 
8/28/09 1:05 AM
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Pernicious
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Also, there's a purple, midget (can I say that?) Elvis impersonator running back and forth through my front yard.

Please advise.
8/28/09 1:15 AM
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lookoutawhale
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I think purple little man is the PC way to say it. Anyways we just chased him off. All thats left of mini Elvis is his blue suede shoes.

Ok i just got word that Futa has been spotted in the parking lot.. i repeat he has been spotted in the parking lot. Hes looking at the scarecrows right now and is unsure if its safe to enter.

Stay on guard everyone.

Squared Circle im going to need you to fill up our balloons with more helium in case he does enter for the party.

Pernicious if you could fill my bowl up with more fruit loops please. thanks.
8/28/09 1:17 AM
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lookoutawhale
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 actually stand down gentlemen. It was a false alarm.

Turns out the blonde haired man in the parking lot was Ricky Schroder from the hit 80's tv show Silver Spoons.
8/28/09 2:32 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Fellows,

I am dictating this to my secretary because there is no time to type.

Think Radar from M.A.S.H., but with the option to "tune in Tokyo", if you know what I mean.

lookoutawhale, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!

I heard that we had lost you in 06.

I would embrace you, but it's a frank, unsentimental life that sees men of action only meeting in times of war.

And while this reunion is sweet, you appreciate that there is no time for nostalgia.

And so:

I fear that my mission was a failure.

It was time-sensitive.

And as you know, my friends, time is a luxury that we DO NOT HAVE.

I must leave again, under the cover of a moon that looks as a ticking clock to me. Everything ticks and tocks for me today. Time. Always a reminder of Tito's brittle legacy.

And so, I leave you in good hands, gentlemen.

Away and, I pray, back again.

-2Jupes
8/28/09 7:49 AM
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Hobnobb
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TTT for the Antidote!!!!!
8/28/09 7:52 AM
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Sagiv Lapkin
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 Jupes your first post on this thread is GOLD. :)
8/28/09 7:58 AM
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momita
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 bahahaha, jupiter you are too funny......

*hopes Tito shows up before Jupiter loses it*
8/28/09 8:43 AM
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RLL
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lookoutawhale -  actually stand down gentlemen. It was a false alarm.

Turns out the blonde haired man in the parking lot was Ricky Schroder from the hit 80's tv show Silver Spoons.


Im sorry... but he prefers RICK Schroder now... please respect Mr Schroder's wishes... and Mormon belief system.



btw, I have claymores and grenade wires on the western front to prevent a sneak attack by the enemy.
8/28/09 9:26 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Sagiv, ohferfuxsakes:

I haven't slept in the last 96 hours.

I have been in CONSTANT MOTION.

I'm going to needs both of you to field my calls. If the Huntington Beachhead is breached, WITHOUT HESITATION, I want BOTH of you to resort to Option B.

momita, we're ready to implement Operation Bullet with Butterfly Wings. I want you to lay it on thick. Think ballroom dress. IT IS A FAIL PROOF PLAN. When opportunity meets Tito meets ballroom dress, WE CANNOT FAIL. We'll bring him to you.

RLL, how do you look in a lady's evening wear? Can you pull it off? I'M TALKING IN THE SUNLIGHT. SonofaB*TCH God knows that we don't have time to wait for low lighting. I'm talking puckered lips and sunbeams. Talk to momita. LOOK AT ME OR I WILL SLAP YOU. Look, just talk to her.

Hobnobb, never, and I mean NEVER refer to Tito as The Antidote.
8/28/09 9:55 AM
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Zedlepln
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ShanTheMan - 
2JupitersTooMany - Skate, ShanTheMan


SKATE LIKE THE WIND

I should've mentioned I can not skate for shit.
It is the night. My body's weak.
I'm on the run. No time to sleep.
I've got to skate.

Skate like the wind to be free again.
And I got such a long way to go.
To make it to the border of Mexico.
So I'll skate like the wind.

I was born the son of a lawless man.
Always spoke my mind with a gun in my hand.
Lived nine lives
gunned down ten.
Gonna skate like the wind.

And I got such a long way to go.
To make it to the border of Mexico.
So I'll skate like the wind.
Skate like the wind.
Skate like the wind.

Accused and tried and told to hang
I was no where in sight
when the church bells rang.
Never was the kind to do as I was told.
Gonna skate like the wind before I get old.

It is the night. My body's weak.
I'm on the run. No time to sleep.
I've got to skate.
Skate like the wind to be free again.

And I got such a long way to go.
To make it to the border of Mexico.
So I'll skate like the wind.
Skate like the wind.

8/28/09 10:07 AM
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BeanTownMMA
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No one specified if we're roller skating or ice skating. Someone please confirm before I sharpen these Bauer's. I bet you guys forgot walkie-talkie's! No worries, I have 4 sets, but 2 of the 6 no longer has batteries, dog ate them. So if you have 8 AA's, please bring them with you.
8/28/09 10:27 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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BeanTownMMA, you are a LIFE SAVER!

I want 8 people in direct communication at all times. I want one of every pair to ALWAYS maintain a visual line to at least one member of another pair of walkie talkers.

The rabbit's sniffing the foxhole, brothers, I can SENSE IT.

We're close. And when all this work is done, I'm going to see that EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU has some time in Geneva. On the good side.
8/28/09 10:30 AM
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SecondBase
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Tito's silence is deafening.
8/28/09 10:31 AM
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Zedlepln
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I'll lead the assault on the mountain chateau. My call sign will be Broadsword. Yours will be Danny Boy.

8/28/09 10:34 AM
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RLL
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2JupitersTooMany - 

RLL, how do you look in a lady's evening wear? Can you pull it off? I'M TALKING IN THE SUNLIGHT. SonofaB*TCH God knows that we don't have time to wait for low lighting. I'm talking puckered lips and sunbeams. Talk to momita. LOOK AT ME OR I WILL SLAP YOU. Look, just talk to her.


Goddamn it, I need a razor, to shave my beard, RIGHT NOW PEOPLE! Thank god for this cherry flavored glitter Chapstick I keep in my man purse- it can double as lip gloss. I will be in position at 1300 hours. Coleman will never know what hit him...
8/28/09 10:35 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Edited: 08/28/09 10:35 AM
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I want a bird over Zedlepln at all times. I want a backup bird and a backup for the backup. If he goes dark, there's no telling what could happen at Big Bear.
8/28/09 10:47 AM
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BeanTownMMA
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2JupitersTooMany Walkie-Talkie #1: Universal, can communicate with W.T. 2-7 on every channel

Pernicious Walkie-Talkie #2: Communicate with W.T. 1, 3, 5 and 7. Even numbered W.T.'s can receive incoming only on Channel 11

ShanTheMan Walkie-Talkie #3: Morse-Code to all Active W.T.'s. However, still no batteries. Can still "beep beep" without batteries.

Zedlepln Walkie-Talkie #4: Communicate with W.T. 1, 2, 4 and 6. Odd numbered W.T.'s can receive outgoing only on Channel 19

Ensanity Walkie-Talkie #5: Broken, sorry. I am working on fixing the internal structure as we speak. I guess my dog ate more than 8 batteries..

Squared Circle Walkie-Talkie #6: Can communicate with all W.T.'s on low-level frequency and on Channel's 11, 19 and 77

lookoutawhale Walk-Talkie #7: Morse-code is broken but he pm'ed me saying he does not know enough Morse Code to use it. Otherwise, universal communication

ohferfuxsakes Walkie-Talkie #8: Channel 11 has minor interference. Even numbered W.T.'s has bi-lingual capabilities but is currently stuck on Spanish. Which is okay, he pm'ed me saying he can speak 71 different languages

In the meantime, I'm working on getting everyone else one as well! If you have any issues with your W.T.'s please let me know, I'll be fixing up a few more. Momita, please feel free to get the brownies and lemonade ready. We're about to pull an all-nighter!
8/28/09 11:15 AM
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Snappy Whistleteeth
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Great thread, some brilliant posts in here. 

8/28/09 11:16 AM
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BeanTownMMA
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Peoria Athletic Club - I finally made an OG list!!!!!!!!!! SWEET!!!!


Would you like a Walkie-Talkie? Very limited supply. And don't even bother asking for face-paint, I ran out in literally 8 minutes since the announcement..
8/28/09 11:35 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Listen:

I'm leaning back in a vintage mission-style chair, smoking an Aturo Fuente Cubanito. The appearance is less than perfect, but the rather small cigar carries with it an excellent draw, burn and, I dare say, FABULOUS taste. Medium bodied, and perfect for moments of spent reflection. I'm wisping back the trails of heavy smoke with splashes of Cognac from my own special reserve in the woodlands of Maryland.

You'll notice that I've finally found a moment to reflect.

Gentleman, you've set a perpetual machine in motion. The ground work - the most DIFFICULT work - is set like the foundation of a chapel. For that, I thank you.

And finally, we can get away from hurried tactics and discuss larger mission and strategy:


For months now, Tito has been lured by wimpering requests.

COME BACK TITO! WE NEED YOU, TITO!


As I creak back in this cloth-layered mahogany chair, old as it may be, I'm reminded that results seldom follow defeated bequests. No, ACTION, ACTION, ACTION or you have already LOST.

And my brothers, what has been LOST will not be FOUND. NO!

IT.

WILL.

BE.

SEIZED.

There you have it, gentleman. Your orders are to seize, not lure. Take, not request.


I want a gigantic living head on a metaphorical platter in less than 48 hours.
8/28/09 11:38 AM
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RickStorm
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Wow!
what a thread to wake up too
but......
What just happened in here

Nevermind
Carry on 2Jups2many (somehow that names fits this morning lol)
8/28/09 11:40 AM
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RickStorm
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 Oh and unless Tito has access to a laptop I think he's in Portland today and wont be online

I think

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