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UnderGround Forums >> ATTN Tito!!! FUTA1! RED ALERT!!!!

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1/31/13 4:30 PM
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KevinMcAllister
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Failure has been following me like the Wet Bandits, only failure isn't easily defeated by paint cans and Christmas ornaments. Phone Post
1/31/13 5:21 PM
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KingGo
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Ouch Phone Post
2/5/13 11:38 PM
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lookoutawhale
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2/6/13 9:28 PM
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AmmoMan
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^THIS Phone Post
2/11/13 10:10 PM
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UltimatePower
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Ttt
2/14/13 2:11 PM
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lookoutawhale
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my girlfriend of 76 years asked me what we are doing for valentines day today....

I told her i would be lighting a candle on my computer desk and waiting for Futa1 to post in this thread.

After i was punched in the face by her, i got back up, sat on my computer chair and went back to work waiting for Futa1.

There are no holidays for the Futa1 Army..

 

 

2/14/13 2:31 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Edited: 02/14/13 2:31 PM
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Today I watched a YouTube video on creating anethetic using Windex, grain alcohol and four bottles of melatonin.  The Windex is to induce vomiting if things go bad.  The grain alcohol allows one to perform surgery while unconscious, much like it allows a hobo to perform oral sex on a cab driver while clinically dead.  Tito should receive my pancreas (a tribute to Pancrase, a little joke between us) and the fourth chamber of my heart on Monday unless I drunk-mailed it to my ex wife, which has happened before.

2/14/13 2:44 PM
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RickStorm
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2JupitersTooMany - 

Today I watched a YouTube video on creating anethetic using Windex, grain alcohol and four bottles of melatonin.  The Windex is to induce vomiting if things go bad.  The grain alcohol allows one to perform surgery while unconscious, much like it allows a hobo to perform oral sex on a cab driver while clinically dead.  Tito should receive my pancreas (a tribute to Pancrase, a little joke between us) and the fourth chamber of my heart on Monday unless I drunk-mailed it to my ex wife, which has happened before.


lolwut

2/14/13 2:50 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Here is a secret about the heart.  You have four chambers, but why?  Our evolutionary predecessor, the cow, has something like eight or nine stomachs arranged throughout its abdomen, lower neck and upper ass area.  Notice that when we evolved from cows into lizards and then monkeys this needless array of compartments was reduced to one.  The heart is much the same, and evolution will tidy things up eventually until we have but one super-efficient chamber holding all the blood we need.  This thread killed my first chamber in 2008, my third chamber in 2010, and now I have torn out my fourth chamber and post-marked it to Tito, care of my ex-wife in West Virginia.  So although this thread has slowly killed the third most important organ in my body, in a way it has helped me to evolve.

2/14/13 3:14 PM
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UGCTT_MMArijuana666
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lookoutawhale -

Win. Phone Post
2/14/13 5:09 PM
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lookoutawhale
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A woman asked me today if i loved her, i told her no. I was in love with someone else. She said what is her name. I said its not a her its a what. Im in love with Futvaille.

 

Even though its destroyed and all thats left is the memories, it holds a special place in my heart that no one woman could replace.

 

She abruptly left me house in a rage but I do not apologize with my love affair with a nation.

2/14/13 5:13 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Funny.  Sometimes a woman has a hard time understanding love if she isn't the object.  It's like trying to explain a close male friendship, or the butthole fleshlight in your sock drawer.  Some things just feel good, not better necessarily, just different.

2/14/13 5:25 PM
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lookoutawhale
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I do agree. They get jealous very easily. When she saw me in a room caressing the Futaville Decleration of Independence she would not speak to me for a week. They have to understand that sometimes we dont need a woman. We need typography to get us going. To really speak to us. No female gential can compare to a charter of rights and freedoms to bring a male to full extacy.

Their curves dont compare to the unravelled S curve paper of a legal document. The wetness of company ink after two dignitaries sign their name for a treaty. The smell of Douglas Fir recycled paper caressing your face holds in higher regard to perfume. The texture of a laminated binding agreement.

If i want to make love to the constitution that holds Tito Town together than why should a woman care? Its the mutual love shared between a whale and a legal document.

2/15/13 1:25 PM
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RickStorm
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My girl dont understand any of it, so she just ignores me when it comes the futaville, tito town, and the UG..

2/15/13 7:36 PM
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charms434
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Valentines ey, that reminds me when ol Sergeant Coleman escapes from Hammer House where he had been for years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an MMA fighter, look at his hands! He probably spent lots of time in gyms and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" Phone Post
2/16/13 4:23 AM
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RickStorm
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From: lookoutawhale 340 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile 
Posted: 1 day ago
Member Since: 1/8/09
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2/18/13 3:12 PM
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lookoutawhale
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Edited: 02/18/13 3:12 PM
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RickStorm - 
From: lookoutawhale 340 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile 
Posted: 1 day ago
Member Since: 1/8/09
Posts: 8388

 

 
 
 
 

 

 

 

2/18/13 3:49 PM
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lookoutawhale
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charms434 -  Valentines ey, that reminds me when ol Sergeant Coleman escapes from Hammer House where he had been for years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an MMA fighter, look at his hands! He probably spent lots of time in gyms and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" Phone Post

a powerful story!

now we know why its called Hammer House and what is being nailed.

2/19/13 12:10 PM
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RickStorm
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Im starting to think..... that maybe Tito's not going to show up

2/19/13 12:27 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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RickStorm - 

Im starting to think..... that maybe Tito's not going to show up


He may have given himself directions during a live speech without a teleprompter and ended up in Belize.

2/19/13 12:38 PM
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UltimatePower
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If Tito ever shows up I just want him to type: ttt
2/19/13 12:39 PM
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MattyECB
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RickStorm - 

Im starting to think..... that maybe Tito's not going to show up


Hey, you best chiggity chek urself
2/19/13 12:40 PM
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MattyECB
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I've cried while masterbating to this thread too many times to give up now, no romo
2/19/13 12:40 PM
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RickStorm
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2JupitersTooMany - 
RickStorm - 

Im starting to think..... that maybe Tito's not going to show up


He may have given himself directions during a live speech without a teleprompter and ended up in Belize.


teleprompter even been lost to can with Belize maybe sure.. Best directions of the night

2/19/13 12:43 PM
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RickStorm
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MattyECB - 
RickStorm - 

Im starting to think..... that maybe Tito's not going to show up


Hey, you best chiggity chek urself

google images brought this up when I searched "chiggity chek "

what's it all mean lol


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