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UnderGround Forums >> ATTN Tito!!! FUTA1! RED ALERT!!!!


5/31/13 11:59 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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5/31/13 1:19 PM
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lookoutawhale
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*crawls out from tornado bunker*

*surveys the scenes*

people are ok... but suffered some cracked skulls from the heavy wind.

5/31/13 1:40 PM
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lookoutawhale
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Edited: 05/31/13 1:40 PM
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http://i.imgur.com/BRYCH5z.jpg

 

5/31/13 1:43 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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deceptively light winds bro

5/31/13 1:47 PM
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lookoutawhale
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its possible hurricane jenna was actually a gust of weak wind from flatulence.

5/31/13 1:49 PM
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KevinMcAllister
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On my Dual Doppler radar, I only charted breeze-level winds thought to be produced by an exhalation of methamphetamine.

5/31/13 1:50 PM
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Augustus Caesar
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5/31/13 1:56 PM
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lookoutawhale
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Tornado speed updated from recent police radar test. Significant increase.

http://i.imgur.com/Cez5rBm.jpg

6/2/13 8:10 AM
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shallowkal
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Until toto Phone Post
6/3/13 2:27 AM
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hellride
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Come on Tito you can do it!
6/6/13 2:58 PM
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lookoutawhale
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let us remember the ordeal the army just went through for future generations...

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1656991-jenna-jameson-says-she-watched-drug-addict-tito-ortiz-fake-ufc-drug-tests

-------------------------------------------

Jenna Jameson Says She Watched 'Addict' Tito Ortiz Fake UFC Drug Tests

By

(Correspondent) on May 30, 2013

38,181 reads

85 Icon_comment

Jenna-jameson-tito-ortiz_original_crop_north Ethan Miller/Getty Images

According to famed pornography star and retired actress Jenna Jameson, former UFC champion Tito Ortiz was "addicted" to drugs during his MMA career.

Those are bold claims, but do they hold water?

That remains to be seen, but Ortiz's ex-wife went on a Twitter rampage this Thursday with several cryptic messages stating that "The People's Champ" faked several UFC drug tests throughout his career and regularly fed alcohol to his children:

Jameson continued on, threatening to provide proof of Ortiz's drug use while claiming that her ex-husband abused drugs throughout their relationship.

Later on, Jameson attempted to make good on her claim, posting a photo on Twitter that allegedly shows a portion of Ortiz's home stash.

Jameson also alleged that Ortiz "used a fake penis and ordered urine" in order to falsify his UFC test results and that he attempted to kill her when they were still together.

So far, Ortiz has not responded via Twitter.

According to TMZ, Ortiz and Jameson first began dating in October 2006, not long after Jameson had divorced her former husband, pornographic actor Jay Grdina.

In March 2009, the couple later gave birth two twin boys (via E! Online).

Their relationship eventually fell apart when Ortiz was arrested during a domestic abuse case in April 2010, which Ortiz later claimed (via MMA Junkie) had occurred due to his then-wife suffering a severe addiction to Oxycontin, a prescription opiate.

At the time, Jameson insisted that Ortiz hadn't beaten her, although she was reportedly injured with a medical brace on her right arm (via NY Daily News).

The OC Weekly reported in May 2011 that the couple had officially split up, with TMZ previously citing in April 2011 that Jameson had moved out of her Huntington Beach home with Ortiz, an event followed by several arrests and public incidents.

Ortiz, a UFC Hall of Famer and record-setting champion, competed in MMA for over 15 years while never once failing a pre-fight or post-fight drug test.

 

-------------------------------------------

6/6/13 3:02 PM
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Augustus Caesar
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in!

6/6/13 3:03 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Love weaves her story using the same loom for all men, but her clients provide the materials. 

There is only so much she can do with a Team Punishment beanie, a pair of edible underwear and 40 yards of compression skull bandages

6/10/13 2:07 PM
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lookoutawhale
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I propose Jenna and Tito work out their differences in this thread. It will be a neutral state for both.

6/10/13 2:08 PM
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lookoutawhale
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226 more posts till i reach the powerful 8888 a number of the holy tito trinity.

Is there some type of alarm or warning i could get when im reaching close to it so i can put on my tuxedo when i finally post it? Has anyone made an 8888 app?

6/10/13 2:09 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Shame the Futaville marriage and domestic partnerships counselor was killed in the explosion but to be fair her threesome reconciliation approach was controversial

6/10/13 2:27 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Edited: 06/10/13 2:27 PM
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lookoutawhale - 

226 more posts till i reach the powerful 8888 a number of the holy tito trinity.

Is there some type of alarm or warning i could get when im reaching close to it so i can put on my tuxedo when i finally post it? Has anyone made an 8888 app?

 


You have 444 vote ups, one half of 888, regarded in apocalyptic literature as The Number of the Dan Severn.

 

 

 

Your mark signals the imminent Second Coming of Tito, the countdown to Titogeddon and (Tito save us for your mercy is bountiful and your tap outs flow like whine from the mouth of Forrest Griffin) the Great Triggulation, fml, fyl, f the life of everyone.

For seven years, Trigg will separate the sheep from the GOATs using his left armpit like a nutcracker from his seat on an ivory couch at the right hand of Steven Seagal.

 

6/10/13 4:54 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Edited: 06/10/13 4:54 PM
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When the Son of Frank Trigg Sr. comes in his glory (and all nine people who bought Triggonomics shirts with him), he will sit on his glorious ivory couch.  All the MMA fans will be gathered before him and he will separate them one from another like a naked shepherd with a nutcracker armpit separates teh sheep from the goats, deal with it.

6/10/13 6:12 PM
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lookoutawhale
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let us all pray for a peaceful resolve to this madness of war. Our people are sick and hungry, they miss their families, they miss their old lives & they miss their pet llamas.

We await the great arm pit crushing signal from Mr. Trigg.

6/10/13 6:20 PM
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RickStorm
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Mixed Martial Arts LLC, Forum Admin
2JupitersTooMany - 
lookoutawhale - 

226 more posts till i reach the powerful 8888 a number of the holy tito trinity.

Is there some type of alarm or warning i could get when im reaching close to it so i can put on my tuxedo when i finally post it? Has anyone made an 8888 app?

 

You have 444 vote ups, one half of 888, regarded in apocalyptic literature as The Number of the Dan Severn.

 

 

WHOW!

-Until Eight-Hundred & Eighty-Eight

6/11/13 11:11 PM
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lookoutawhale
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Call the cavalry gentlemen and gentlewomen, alert the tower guard, radio in the infrantry.

 

TONIGHT WE DINE AT DENNY'S!

6/11/13 11:13 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Bottomless hot chocolate for everyone.

*removes pants* Phone Post 3.0
6/12/13 12:49 AM
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RickStorm
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-Until Denny's

6/12/13 3:05 PM
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lookoutawhale
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Edited: 06/12/13 3:06 PM
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Saint storm is 2 Vote ups away from the glorious 888. I will vote him up to 887. I ask you, patrons of Denny's, which man of honour among you will crown our religious saviour saint storm the Mexican Ortiz title number of ocho-ocho-ocho?

*Puts away a grand slam lumberjack breakfast by the window overlooking a dog chainged to a 7-11 parking lot post*

*gets up with Denny's menu in hand, scanning the scattered heads of docile senor citizens awaiting more syrup*

*scours the crowd for a champion among the pancake and sausage shire to award the salacious saint storm with buttermilked thighs and robust shoulders sitting gallantly in his Ortiz Armour another vote up*

6/12/13 3:09 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Good Lord I've done it.

The consequences will never be the same.


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