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UnderGround Forums >> ATTN Tito!!! FUTA1! RED ALERT!!!!


8/30/13 4:09 PM
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charms434
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At times like these, my brethren, I'm reminded of the ol Futaville Spirituals are forefathers sang. ...
AHEM...
Lead: Swing low, sweet chariot
Chorus: Coming for to carry Tito home
Lead: Swing low, sweet chariot
Chorus: Coming for to carry Tito home
Lead: If you get to Viacom before I do
Chorus: Coming for to carry Tito home
Lead: Tell Rampage, I’m coming too
Chorus: Coming for to carry Tito home...

Thank you Phone Post 3.0
8/30/13 5:05 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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School Children Reinact "Dance of the Angry Wren" in Commemorative Musical

 

In honour of the Eighth Anniversary of Titopendence Day, the third grade class at Futaville Elementary performed the "Dance of the Angry Wren" to remember the uprising that followed Tito's comments at Town Hall. Tito was attacked from above by an especially angry Wren on his way to drink champagne from a crystaline goblet in the rear compartment of his Hummer limousine.

 

 

The well-traveled creature pecked Tito to Bolivian while an aftermarket stereo played a DMX remix of Go Down Moses.

8/30/13 5:06 PM
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RickStorm
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Mixed Martial Arts LLC, Forum Admin
charms434 - At times like these, my brethren, I'm reminded of the ol Futaville Spirituals are forefathers sang. ...
AHEM...
Lead: Swing low, sweet chariot
Chorus: Coming for to carry Tito home
Lead: Swing low, sweet chariot
Chorus: Coming for to carry Tito home
Lead: If you get to Viacom before I do
Chorus: Coming for to carry Tito home
Lead: Tell Rampage, I’m coming too
Chorus: Coming for to carry Tito home...

Thank you Phone Post 3.0

lmao! is this real life!

well done charms

8/30/13 7:42 PM
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KevinMcAllister
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I clambered down the steps of the bus after a long and dreary night, highlighted by a sudden soaking by a motorist speeding through an oil-rainbow slicked puddle. My corduroy-velvet pants were soaked south of and including the tibia.

I let out a heavy sigh, and began my slow, methodical saunter towards my North York homestead. "Hey buddy!" - I turned quickly, "Tito?" I said without thinking, but alas, it was Terry the local vagrant, hoping to catch me for some spare change on my way past the Four Winds Grocer.

Hitting him crossed my mind. Not once, but multiple times. A thorough bludgeoning. "Don't you know I'm waiting for someone?" I managed to choke out. I could feel my rage bubbling to the surface, my hands clenched, knuckles whitened, ready to thrash poor Terry to within an inch of his miserable, urine soaked life. But I was able to contain myself "He doesn't understand", I told myself. "It's not his fault". I dug into my pocket, and pulled out a trio of lint-covered quarters and with a forced-smile I dropped them into Terry's dirty, grasping hands.

'Round the bend, I could see the door to my apartment. I took one last look behind, hoping to catch a glimpse of Him. Nothing. "I should have kicked Terry's ass", I mused to myself, feeling the same rejection I have felt since my 8th grade French teacher let my love go unrequited, while showering my friend Ray with sexual favours. "What does Ray have that I don't have Mdme. Pelissier?.......fuckin' Terry"

I stepped inside and realized I had dropped a crumpled sawbuck into Terry's hands, and with the last of my energy I rent and tore my Tito selfie poster and collapsed into a ball of misery. I repeated the name...Tito....Tito....Tito...Otit...until I fell asleep, soaked in oil-puddle and tears.

I awoke in the middle of the night with a cold chill, picked up my red washable crayola and x'd off another Friday on my endless advent calendar.

Until Tito
8/30/13 11:40 PM
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lookoutawhale
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and so i have returned. A full 24 hours after my self imposed exile.

In the meantime i held miltiary exercises on the dome of Futa and took care of party festivities in honour of the great Quad-ocho party we are having this evening.

Im looking around.. but it seems nothing changed.. I am perplexed. Surely hitting 8888 would have changed something..

*checks PM for congratulations from TIto*

... hmm nothing

*checks answering machine for a message left by Tito for the 8 accomplishment*

...hmm nothing there either..

I dont get it.. things were supposed to be different.. i spent my whole life getting to this quadruple 8 post count... as every thing been a waste? im not sure.. i was going to purchase another Wild 8's lottery ticket to mark the occasion.. but maybe my money is better spent purchasing Yukon Gold potatoes..

damn it Tito?

maybe Jenna said something about my post count on her twitter...

Tweets All / No replies

Keep talking about me and making me famous!

 
damn it.. still nothing..
8/30/13 11:41 PM
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lookoutawhale
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RickStorm - 

Oh yeah!

Whale.. The email issue we talked about a year or so ago has been fixed =)


oooh nice. thanks for the heads up rick. at least some good news even though Tito is a no show.

8/31/13 12:10 AM
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lookoutawhale
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*lights sparklers on Futapendence day*

*hands out candy to the neighbourhood wolves still lurking since the day of communism*

8/31/13 12:19 AM
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lookoutawhale
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*takes off pants and walks into a cabin nude and takes self portrait... a Titopendence tradition*

 

 

http://i.imgur.com/7S8e8ZF.jpg

 

 

 

8/31/13 12:24 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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On Futapendence Day, a firecracker is a 23 year old red headed intern who has never waxed her butthole. Phone Post 3.0
8/31/13 12:40 AM
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lookoutawhale
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lets hope she doesnt shit out flames. it is a wood cabin after all...

9/4/13 12:09 AM
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lookoutawhale
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TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

9/4/13 12:12 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Oh the Hughesmanity Phone Post 3.0
9/5/13 3:31 PM
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lookoutawhale
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Tito Or Tease.

I think we know what option he chose.

9/5/13 3:47 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Maybe if we disguised Tito's keyboard as Ken Shamrock he would keep going back to it enough times that he would eventually accidentally log in and post in this thread.

9/5/13 3:53 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Edited: 09/05/13 3:54 PM
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According to the California Secretary of State, a man named George L. Prajin is the President of Tito's new sports management company.

Unfortunately, this graphic indicates that he has already begun to distance himself from the company.

 

9/5/13 3:56 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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He may just be out for a stroll in the flesh-colored park outside the PrimeTime 360 Entertainment and Sports Management, Inc. offices.

9/5/13 3:59 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Las Angeles Attorney George L. Prajin is our man.

http://www.lopezprajin.com/Attorney-Profiles/George-L-Prajin-Esq-.aspx

If I am reading his bio correctly, he is a practicing attorney who has not yet completed law school, an act of wizardry. 

 

George Prajin Attorney Bio

Los Angeles Entertainment Law Attorney

Attorney George Prajin has always had a strong interest in entertainment law, media law, sports law, and estate planning. His life and business experience as an accomplished music executive and creative visionary make him uniquely qualified to represent artists, entertainers, and athletes of all kinds looking for a kindred spirit who thoroughly understands the business and legal challenges they face.

Fluent in Spanish, Attorney Prajin is a bilingual music executive, business person, music producer, manager, and record label executive. He has served as President of one of the top music distributors and CEO of one of the largest independently owned music retailers in Southern California.

As CEO of indie label Z-Recordz, Attorney Prajin signed and developed many successful artists. Under his direction, Z-Recordz achieved three Number One albums on Billboard's top sellers list and multiple platinum records.

Further accomplishments of Attorney Prajin include producing a variety music television show, working as a songwriter and recording artist, and managing many of the top acts that he previously dealt with as a music executive and producer.

Attorney Prajin trains in mixed martial arts with the top trainers in the world and as a result has acquired an extensive understanding of the sport and an appreciation of the mental and physical dedication athletes endure on a daily basis. Further, Attorney Prajin has and currently manages UFC fighters and trainers.

His business and artistic experience have given him a unique insight into the legal needs of artists and athletes; he has been on both sides of the negotiation table, as a record executive, producer, promoter, manager, artist, songwriter, and athlete. He has a thorough understanding of what it takes to succeed in the entertainment world and the importance of the business and legal decisions you make. As an entertainment lawyer, his goal is to combine his practical life experience with his legal knowledge and skills in order to meet the needs and surpass the expectations of his clients.

 

Education

  • Undergraduate -UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA –LOS ANGELES
  • ABRAHAM LINCOLN UNIVERISTY SCHOOL OF LAW
  • Southwestern School Of Law( currently attending)
  • LLM Entertainment and Media
  • January 2012 –present
  • John Marshall Law School, Chicago (Currently attending)
  • LLM Estate Planning June 2012-present
9/5/13 4:03 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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We finally have a direct telephone number to the offices of the Wizard of Tito, the man behind the curtain, the Cyrano de Bergerac of Futaville. 

 

9/5/13 4:14 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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I have emailed him. 

Now, we wait.

9/5/13 4:25 PM
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lookoutawhale
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we may have to sue his lawyer to get Tito to post.

9/5/13 9:07 PM
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lookoutawhale
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Tito Ortiz @titoortiz

5th September 2013 from TweetCaster

Just got the best news ever today!I get full custody of my boys & the judge said there was no proof or witnesses of any DV.The truth set me free! I want to thank my family,friends and fans that believed in me. Thanks for the support.

 

good news gentlemen! Tito got full custody his kids. Id like to think that this thread was what put Tito in good standing in the judge's eyes.

Tito its up to you know and pay it forward by posting here. Let us have our judgement day!

9/6/13 8:30 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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In an underwater fight against himself, Tito wins 4 out of 5 times Phone Post 3.0
9/7/13 5:53 PM
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KrzyBnzJnz
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fishyfish - 

if he were flexible enough, he would probably choke on his own C*CK and die


9/7/13 7:04 PM
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lookoutawhale
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Edited: 09/07/13 7:06 PM
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DAMN YOU FORTUNE COOKIE!!

 

http://i.imgur.com/xSXlfZd.jpg

 

DAMN YOU HOROSCOPE!

 

http://i.imgur.com/r02qZDI.jpg

 

DAMN YOU CAN OF WD-40!

 

http://i.imgur.com/WZnmhQ2.jpg

9/7/13 7:47 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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I once dated a secretary who had been in a terrible hula hooping accident. She had a bio mechanical vagina. That can of WD-40 cuts to the core of me. Phone Post 3.0

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