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UnderGround Forums >> ATTN Tito!!! FUTA1! RED ALERT!!!!

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8/29/09 6:18 PM
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MountainMedic
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lookoutawhale -  aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ive just been hit with a hammer

i...         need...               a medic....

the chopper never came.  I triggered the tripwire and a bag of hammers fell on my head.

if something happens to me...

tell the world my story...  and send them a link to my youtube videos...
 
you close your blowhole son, hold your sand! THIS is what it has always been about.
help is on the way. escape & evad until you can't, then find cover. remember your training, its all you have. if those sumbitches actually get close enough to touch you..... well, you know what you need to do.
WE WILL FIND YOU.

dead or alive, you"re going home son........ you"re going home
8/29/09 7:32 PM
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BigSleep
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wow, i can't believe i missed all of this. has anyone seen 2 jups?
8/29/09 8:10 PM
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lookoutawhale
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 ^ its tough to locate him. hes always in CONSTANT MOTION!
8/29/09 8:13 PM
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lookoutawhale
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MountainMedic -  you close your blowhole son, hold your sand! THIS is what it has always been about.
help is on the way. escape & evad until you can't, then find cover. remember your training, its all you have. if those sumbitches actually get close enough to touch you..... well, you know what you need to do.
WE WILL FIND YOU.

dead or alive, you"re going home son........ you"re going home

*dorsal fin begins to curl*

*tide is pushing me closer to the beach*

*flippers getting weak*
8/29/09 9:00 PM
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MountainMedic
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now you listen to me goddammit!!!!! any asshole can do it WITH flippers..... takes a REALwhale do get it done without em- SM MM

8/30/09 2:51 AM
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Rumbler
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 I just sent a distress message to captain Paul Watson of the "Steve Irwin" he and his "Sea Shepherd's are on the way...Stay strong! I promise YOU WILL LIVE to see the day when FUTA1 starts posting on the UG again!




THEY WILL BE WITH YOU SOON!
8/30/09 9:08 AM
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Zedlepln
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Got some good intel: apparantly, Tito has dispatched Squared Circle without any need of assistance from us.

8/30/09 4:07 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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-MISSION LOG-
August 30, 2009
Operation "Until Tito"


0200:

I dispached a communique to Kirik Jenness, President of the Internets, MMA.tv Sector. In part, I requested his assistance in hot-threading the Operation in hopes of enhancing recruitment efforts. There was no response.

It is unclear whether Mr. Jenness is for us or against us. I have received documents of compromised legibility that may indicate that Mr. Jenness has been subleasing a modest room at Hammer House. However, they could easily be crafty forgeries. These are convoluted times.

0435:

Under the blanket cover of sweltry night, I arrived in Mosul in conneciton with an unrelated matter. I was tucked in amongst the dusty boxes of a C130 cargo transport. At the outskirts of the brackish, salt-weathered yard, I witnessed a modest group of village boys engaged in combat. I watched from the shadows with the sense that I had unwittingly converged with a moment of looming clarity.

One boy, no older than six years old, was rendered unconscious after a merciless single-leg takedown. While the other child acted the motions of The Gravedigger, the rest of the chalky, adolescent throng was filled with animalistic joy. But listen. When the little boy revived, something important happened: his face, like a sweaty August horizon, broke slowly with a chip-toothed smile of sultry resignation.

I cannot say if my perspectives are being changed, or if the incident is merely bringing things INTO perspective. It is an interesting question.

0720:

lookoutawhale assures me that operations are tidy in their modesty. While RickStorm's mission was a total loss, we are making careful gains. This is a time of inches rather than yards.

0915:

I have dispatched an encoded briefing to all ranking members of Operation "Until Tito". In part, I requested INTEL on the following:

1) An exhaustive listing of possible future locations of FUTA1

2) An exhausting listing of Operation-friendly associates of FUTA1

3) A companion list, reaching to no less than three degrees of separation, of all Operation-friendly individuals caple of communicating with FUTA1


*/end log*
8/30/09 4:32 PM
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lookoutawhale
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tips hat to mountainmedic, rumbler and Captain Paul Watson of Sea Shepherds. Extraction is complete. Will meet you at the barracks at 07:00 hours.

Will need medical attention asap. Hammer lodged in blowhole.


8/30/09 4:38 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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-MISSION LOG-
August 30, 2009
Operation "Until Tito"

1534:

Due to a communications lag in Mosul, I've just now been apprised of lookoutawhale's near demise.

Commendations to Sgt Major MountainMedic and Rumbler's band of merry Sea Shepherds for an efficient operation.

Fix him up, but don't expect him to rest too long in your MEDEVAC tent. If I know lookoutawhale, he'll be LIMPING back to the front before his breakfast gets cold.
8/30/09 4:49 PM
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KnockedOffMyFeetByNateTheElite
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Damn the Hammers... DAMN THEM ALL!!!!

8/30/09 5:59 PM
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BROCKP4PNO1
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2JupitersTooMany - If I know lookoutawhale, he'll be LIMPING back to the front before his breakfast gets cold.
Damn, hot breakfasts! Where do I sign up?
 
Anyway, we might be running out of time here. "The Hammer" might be more ambitious, and worse, more sinister than previously thought. Just yesterday I drove past this massive 50 foot statue on my way to work:



It was not there the day before. Now, I have no idea how they managed to erect that massive thing during the dark of night, but the conclusion remains fairly evident: MARK "THE HAMMER" COLEMAN INTENDS TO USE HIS FEARSOME HAMMER POWERS TO TURN AMERICA INTO A COMMUNIST NATION.

It's that bad.

And as we all know, there's only one man alive today with the power to crush this nefarious plot: TITO MOTHERFUCKING ORTIZ

TITO, FOR THE SAKE OF AMERICA AND EVERYTHING THAT'S GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL IN THIS WORLD, YOU NEED TO COME BACK TO THE UG TO COMBAT THIS GRAVE AND IMMINENT THREAT! <3
8/30/09 8:23 PM
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KnockedOffMyFeetByNateTheElite
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Those things are popping up everywhere!!!!, Tito please save us!!!!!

*goes to fetal position*

8/31/09 12:22 AM
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AFTC
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This is Thread of the Year!! Keep up the mission UNTIL TITO!!
8/31/09 7:42 AM
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BeanTownMMA
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I'm taking a small team in 5 Clicks West of the base around 0900 hours. Heavy enemy ground, of the likes Pernicious already ran into. Some men are down/captured after the beating lookoutawhale's infantry-mission already took.

Jups, your mission WILL NOT be compromised. The rougue officers that were in cahoots with Enrique have been found and dealt with. Forget about Walkie interference, they are going to have a FAR worse time scanning for face recognition without their eyes attached.


We're going to get our men out, sir. Until Tito...
8/31/09 7:49 AM
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ShanTheMan
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Checking in, had to grab a sandwich. What did I miss in the last few days?
8/31/09 9:59 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Intercepted message:

.df.fdee.fda..ito tied to a barcalounger.... Wkje,vimlf ghy Nevada. Extracted information with hammers and faevk mefoalkdf ner. aEre dfde administered reverse Antidote. He will be ours werk vowkr,m rewx no will of his own. Round three ewr,pccglk take a dive dfeom.f..
8/31/09 10:08 AM
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Needc0ck
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 ttt
8/31/09 12:41 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Correspondence to Forward Operations Commander lookoutawhale

August 31, 2009

Re: What have we done? And what will they do?


Just seven hours ago, I was looking down through oily prop wash at a landscape flecked with blurring moonlight. I rested on the lowered ramp of a cargo transport, thousands of feet above all living things.

Behind me, in the middle of the plane's rear hold, were four men. They sat on crates, bound and gagged. All four were members of the Hammer House, captured in battle.

I ended the lives of the three quickly. As you can imagine, there was no passion in it. I was surgical. The white noise of the droning propellers dampened the sounds of death.

The fourth was made to observe my actions. As you know, he is the one who killed KKM, a member of your own forward unit, with the rounded side of a ball peen hammer. I'll be damned if that was a way for one of my soldiers to die.

As he watched, he learned three things. The first, my resolve. The second, my willingness to be merciful in death. And when he saw the tools that I produced, he learned of the last thing: my capacity for imparting suffering.

A man will say almost anything while under terrible duress. A man's mind, so intent on survival, will convince ITSELF that its impulsive fabrications are true. This fourth man, this crazed straight-jacket resident of Hammer House, was so animalistic in his absorption of pain that I cannot discern whether what he said was true. He broke and bled like a creature more than a human.

Before he died, grinning sickly and gesticulating in my red, sticky hands, he said that the work of Hammer House was already done. That the Reverse Antidote had been administered. And that Tito's mind would bend at the time of their choosing, at their command.

It is a mystery, but in light of the messages that BeanTownMMA has been intercepting, I have reason to believe that something sinister has happened, and that we may already be too late.

Time is shorter than ever, my friend.
Walk and/or swim with hasty discretion.

Until Tito.

Or until whatever Tito has become.

-2Jupes
8/31/09 7:20 PM
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lookoutawhale
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Transmission received General.

My health is back to 100% if not to 125% thanks to the patching up job MountainMedic did. I suffered from Staph Infection that was given to me on the shore by Kevin Randleman. I was able to footlock him and get away. Infact i footlocked 50 other Hammerhouse combatants. I feared they would be on to me after the first 30 footlocks but their ability to evolve seems nonexistant.

They injected me with something causing a quick blackout. Its possible it was steroids which explain the hypertrophy in my tail fin and also the 125% recovery in health..

...and to a certain extent..  the atrophy in my whale testicles.

Dire situations require dire requests.

UFC 106 is only a few months away and our intel is running low partly due to dry finances. I contacted Buckingham Palace  in regards to our situation and I have just received a letter back from her.

I hopes this come through in the fax.

-------------------------------





8/31/09 7:51 PM
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Cheggers
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Mortar positions in the east, goddamit where's my artillary???

Jupiter, gimme some cover fire, I'm makng a dash for the pantry... And stp panicing, another slice of rabbit pie wont do you any harm man
8/31/09 8:48 PM
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Cheggers
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Edited: 08/31/09 8:53 PM
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Ohferfuxsakes - tell jups I got the 'rabbit pie' and I'm taking it to safe storage where I shall await instruction. As I sit here leafing through my pachment copy of Homage to Catalunya, I am reminded that although my small band of men have travelled here from foreign shores (Manchester UK) we are united as brothers in arms, bound to a common cause which supercedes our national boundaries. A cause for which everyone of us would spill our lifes blood on distant soil. That cause is Tito. We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them in the....what the

*distant gunfire*

they're here.

Bisping wake up you god damned fool grab the mp5 and the tripwires.

It's too late.

The fecal riod monkeys have surrounded us. fix your bayonets.Circle formation gentlemen. Take courage from our forefathers at Rourkes Drift men, and to god almighty we do not shame them. We can't let those beasts get hold of the rabbit pie, or by god...

We need backup and we need it now goddammit*

hammer ricochets off helmet*

so it begins

viva la revoloution
8/31/09 9:23 PM
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MountainMedic
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 the cake is in the oven
8/31/09 9:43 PM
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lookoutawhale
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  (kshhhh)

alpha alpha bravo foxtrot charlie delta tango tango

(kshhhh)

(kshhhh)

reinforcements arriving in T-minus 30 minutes

hold the fort Cheggers! For Tito, flag and country!!

(kshhhh)

*telephones Mosul*

<<ring ring ring ring>> *no answer* <<ring ring ring ring>>

damn it where is the general!! someone bring me his data log!
8/31/09 10:54 PM
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Zedlepln
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MountainMedic -  the cake is in the oven
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think I can take it
Cause it took so long to make it
And I'll never have that recipe again, oh no

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