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UnderGround Forums >> ATTN Tito!!! FUTA1! RED ALERT!!!!

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9/1/09 1:12 AM
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BROCKP4PNO1
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Edited: 09/01/09 1:29 AM
Member Since: 7/22/09
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Hey, where's my HOT breakfast? I'll have you know that I shared a few pizzas with some friends yesterday where this asshole insisted that we had to get an anchovies pizza, because OH-LADI-DA FISH ON PIZZA, YOU GOTTA TRY IT MAN! Well OK fine, we ordered it and hated it, but the motherfucker only ate TWO single slices of it, and then, THEN! he went on to eat three slices of the pepperoni/pineapple/jalapenos pizza that I had singled out. The gall! Anyway, so I was left with these soggy loafs with fishcrap on them for breakfast this morning and that's not food fit for a soldier is it?

So, in the interest of hot (continental) breakfasts and Operation Tito I submit to you my services, humble as they may be. My main fortés are random pop cultural trivia knowledge, playing the guitar, and extended knowledge of various programming languages. I'm sure this potent trifecta of skills should make me an ideal candidate for the Operation.

Until Tito. 
9/1/09 5:09 AM
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MacNYC
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Someone should research the posts that ran off the all pro fighters over the years such as Tito aka FUTA1 and find them and kick some ass and become a real life super hero.

Some fighters start making too much money and have no time for the forums, I can understand that too.
9/2/09 1:07 PM
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RickStorm DaddyDirtied Me
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HERE COMES THE CALVARY!

This thread is in dire need of help, the quest to bring Tito home has thus far been a fruitless endeavor, shrowded in the rapscalionism and miscreantism of foolish chicanery.

Well no more!  I, Agent Naru shall venture out to the mountains of Big Bear and battle my way into the Tito compound.  Once inside I will await orders to either recover the target or in the event the target is not salvageable, I will call in Agent Antidote to eliminate the target @ UFC 106.


Farewell my fellow brethren, in case I fall, remember me as a sad and crazy man constantly on the verge of murderous plot!
9/2/09 1:23 PM
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Zedlepln
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9/2/09 2:03 PM
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RickStorm DaddyDirtied Me
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 UPDATE 1- AGENT NARU:

I am now on recon outside the FUTA1 compound, it appears as though there are a number of conspirators inside, I have personally surveyed both BLAF and the recently "MIA", Cindy O inside the compound.  It appears they are convening in an attempt to organize a fatal strike to the Strikeforce Promotions utilizing the mass PPV draw of Tito vs Brock.

This may very well mark the beginning of the end...  My prayers are with Strikeforce...

I will now penetrate the defenses of the Ortiz compound and place myself inside the War Room for further recon.

Agent Naru- End Transmission.
9/2/09 4:55 PM
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Zedlepln
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Broadsword calling Danny Boy
Broadsword calling Danny Boy

It appears the enemy has attempted to disrupt both our internal communications and any attempt for code name FUTA1 to reply to our signla by targetted the mma.tv DNS name for redirection. The hand-held radios were a critical contingency plan.

Nice work, team.

Will continue with previously discussed covert operation.

9/2/09 4:57 PM
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SgtJustinTeplitz
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Tito's real name is Jacob and he's a nice guy to mma fans. Why very few people call him Jacob is beyond me.

LOL, when you said RED ALERT, I instantly thought of Rush


Good post, ttt
9/2/09 5:11 PM
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RickStorm
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This thread is gold on so many different levels

Oh and vtfu 2jups

Utill Tito

9/3/09 11:49 AM
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RickStorm DaddyDirtied Me
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Report- Agent Naru:

Tito seen coercing 5 Star General, code name: BLAF.

Dana and Tito seen holding hands making way upstairs...

Oh god... they're going to procreate!  Making a FUTLAF!
9/3/09 2:05 PM
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Herb15E
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RickStorm DaddyDirtied Me -  UPDATE 1- AGENT NARU:

I am now on recon outside the FUTA1 compound, it appears as though there are a number of conspirators inside, I have personally surveyed both BLAF and the recently "MIA", Cindy O inside the compound.  It appears they are convening in an attempt to organize a fatal strike to the Strikeforce Promotions utilizing the mass PPV draw of Tito vs Brock.

This may very well mark the beginning of the end...  My prayers are with Strikeforce...

I will now penetrate the defenses of the Ortiz compound and place myself inside the War Room for further recon.

Agent Naru- End Transmission.


It seems that the mission to bring Tito back has crossed paths with BLAF's war on strikeforce...these are dire times indeed.

A new axis is being formed and soon the ovens will be burning with the ash of the fallen once again.

BLAF and FUTA1 re-alliance can only mean one thing: the uber-UFCsoldat program is up and running again.
9/3/09 2:21 PM
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RickStorm
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RickStorm DaddyDirtied Me -  Making a FUTLAF!
lmaoo
 
9/3/09 3:14 PM
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lookoutawhale
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  <<ding>>

*opens oven*

well soldiers the muffins are ready. I made one for each soldier. I guess this is going to be a long war and we just have to wait it out.

*serves muffins in the barracks cafeteria and waits further instructions*

9/3/09 3:26 PM
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BrazilianBomber
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COME BACK TITO!!!!
9/3/09 3:28 PM
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KnockedOffMyFeetByNateTheElite
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who finished the last chocolate muffin!!!????!?!

9/3/09 5:16 PM
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RickStorm
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TiToTiTo

Until Tito

9/3/09 5:20 PM
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RickStorm
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I can't believe out of everyone here on the UG, the same UG that has contacts everywhere, no one..... I mean no one can contact Tito and tell him about this thread.......

We must have non believers out there

9/3/09 5:23 PM
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Zedlepln
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RickStorm - 

I can't believe out of everyone here on the UG, the same UG that has contacts everywhere, no one..... I mean no one can contact Tito and tell him about this thread.......

We must have non believers out there

 
9/3/09 6:04 PM
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BROCKP4PNO1
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KnockedOffMyFeetByNateTheElite - 

who finished the last chocolate muffin!!!????!?!

D'oh! (angry-d'oh, not slap-forehead-d'oh)

Listen, guys, if we're gonna win this war, and make no mistake, this IS a war in every sense of the word except most of the literal ones, then we're abso-fucking-lutely dependent on proper logistics and functioning supply lines. Everybody knows that's how you win wars (except the ones who don't, but they are extinct or irrelevant because they lost the war and live in fucking mudhuts now.) This possibly mortal blow to morale must be punished. The person responsible for determining the amount of chocolate muffins baked needs to report to general 2jupiter's hammer-proof underground bunker for corporal punishment (ie. treatment with various medieval torture apparatuses) ASAP.

Until hot breakfasts, chocolate muffins and Tito.
9/3/09 6:20 PM
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Cheggers
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Cheggers - Ohferfuxsakes - tell jups I got the 'rabbit pie' and I'm taking it to safe storage where I shall await instruction. As I sit here leafing through my pachment copy of Homage to Catalunya, I am reminded that although my small band of men have travelled here from foreign shores (Manchester UK) we are united as brothers in arms, bound to a common cause which supercedes our national boundaries. A cause for which everyone of us would spill our lifes blood on distant soil. That cause is Tito. We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them in the....what the

*distant gunfire*

they're here.

Bisping wake up you god damned fool grab the mp5 and the tripwires.

It's too late.

The fecal riod monkeys have surrounded us. fix your bayonets.Circle formation gentlemen. Take courage from our forefathers at Rourkes Drift men, and to god almighty we do not shame them. We can't let those beasts get hold of the rabbit pie, or by god...

We need backup and we need it now goddammit*

hammer ricochets off helmet*

so it begins

viva la revoloution


WHERE'S MY GODDAMN BACKUP
9/3/09 6:24 PM
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BROCKP4PNO1
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Edited: 09/03/09 6:24 PM
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I CAN'T FIGHT FECAL ROID MONKEYS ON AN EMPTY STOMACH
9/3/09 6:25 PM
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Squared Circle
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Tito Ortiz Dies and is Dead
Associated Press
Popular MMA fighter Toto Ortiz has died and is dead due to an explosion which occured in the vicinity of where he was at.  Details at this time are few, but it is most certainly clear that he is dead due to the explosion that occured in the vicinity of where he was at at the time of the explosion.  Police Admiral Robert McO'Malley stated "we don't know the cause of the mysterous explosion which occured in the vicinity of where popular MMA fighter Tato Ortiz was at, but it is clear that he is very much dead, and anyone who might be looking for him should give up the search because he has clearly died as a result of this explosion which occured in the vicinity of where Mr. Ortiz was at at the time of the explosion, killing him instantly." 


 
9/3/09 6:28 PM
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RickStorm
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Alert TMZ!!!!!

wouldnt that be funny if...... oh nevermind
That wouldnt be funny

9/3/09 6:29 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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*carrier pigeon settles into thread emptyhanded, glances about nervously, and then darts westward like a solar flare*


In its wake:

A single feather.


Written on the feather, in thin lines of crusted blood:

"SOS. Col OH. HH attic. U Tito. 2J"



A mystery.
9/3/09 6:42 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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*a second carrier pigeon settles into thread emptyhanded, glances about pensively, and then darts westward like a moonbeam*

In its wake:

A single feather.


Written on the feather, in thin lines of slightly less crusted blood:

"P.S. hijk pln. crsh. Sqr Cir betray. lies. dead or alive"
9/3/09 6:51 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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*a third carrier pigeon settles lightly into the thread, emptystomached. It glances about hungrily, and then darts westward like a disillusioned Russian*

*its tiny stomach growls, the gurgling tone dropping as the dopplar effect reminds the world that absolute rules exist, even during times of war*


In its wake:

A napkin.


Written on the napkin, in thin lines of gruel and carrot drippings:

"sav me a mffn"

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