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UnderGround Forums >> ATTN Tito!!! FUTA1! RED ALERT!!!!


9/4/09 4:58 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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BROCKP4PNO1,

I've never met a programmer who couldn't bake a satisfying muffin.

I need an officer capable of field nourishment operations. Specifically, I'm looking for careful research in how to compose the perfect country breakfast. I have reason to believe that the benefits are overwhelming, and that the only drawbacks are the occasional proclivity for underaged women.
9/4/09 5:06 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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But by all means, throw yourself into battle for the time being. During downtime, when return fire is modest to light, perhaps you could just MULL OVER the matter. I'm thinking that eggs are probably integral, and perhaps some toast.
9/4/09 5:14 PM
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BROCKP4PNO1
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2JupitersTooMany - BROCKP4PNO1,

I've never met a programmer who couldn't bake a satisfying muffin.

That may or may not be related to the fact that I've never met a programmer who couldn't be satisfied by a muffin.
I need an officer capable of field nourishment operations. Specifically, I'm looking for careful research in how to compose the perfect country breakfast. I have reason to believe that the benefits are overwhelming, and that the only drawbacks are the occasional proclivity for underaged women.

  Yes sirreee-ah! I will commence planning and preparations ASAP. I have not yet experienced the drawback of which you speak, as I often find myself thinking "oh man, I'd tap that in a time-it-will-take-tito-to-kill-mark-coleman-second if it was legal / socially acceptable". Personally, I find that to be a great bone, uh, boon.
9/4/09 5:14 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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I was just reminiscing about Tom O'Bedlam and what a ridiculous GAMBLER he is. His name is perpetually changing. One can never be sure what alias he'll go by. What's his name now, for instance? I've got zero intelligence on the matter. He's an enigma.

I'm remembering that incident with ol' General Spears and that hullabaloo about the horse and the longest drive competition. DAMN that man.

*shakes head and grins out of the side of a tight-lipped mouth*

I like a man that gambles. But let's hope that his gambling is calculated on this mission. I'd hate to get embroiled in any unnecessary hijinks and such.
9/4/09 5:19 PM
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BROCKP4PNO1
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2JupitersTooMany - But by all means, throw yourself into battle for the time being. During downtime, when return fire is modest to light, perhaps you could just MULL OVER the matter. I'm thinking that eggs are probably integral, and perhaps some toast.
You're on the right path, but ah, eggs and toast, while indeed important components for any respectably composed breakfast, aren't integral parts. The integral parts are: Bacon!
 
9/4/09 5:25 PM
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BROCKP4PNO1
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Edited: 09/04/09 5:25 PM
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As a morale-boosting aside: I actually found myself shedding a genuine tear watching Tito beating that kid at UFC Undisputed and putting on a good show. Tito is good people (I can tell these things, trust me.)
9/4/09 5:29 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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And now, I'm off for a weekend Summit in Geneva. lookoutawhale will direct operations.

Godspeed, and Until Tito.

-2Jupes
                   

Mark Coleman Nick Name: The Antidote Record: 26 - 0
Association:Hammer House  Height: 6'1" (186cm) Weight: 205lbs (112kg) Birth Date: 1964-12-20
City: Columbus Country: USA

9/5/09 3:05 AM
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Squared Circle
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Win

Tito Ortiz

Forfeit(Mysterious Explosion)

UFC 106 - Coleman vs Ortiz

11/21/2009

1

0:00

Win

Stephan Bonnar

Decision (Unanimous)

UFC 100 - Lesnar vs. Mir 2

7/11/2009

3

5:00

Win

Mauricio Rua

Decision (Unanimous)

UFC 93 - Franklin vs. Henderson

1/17/2009

3

5:00

Win

Fedor Emelianenko

DQ (Illegal Hold)

PRIDE 32 - The Real Deal

10/21/2006

2

1:15

Win

Mauricio Rua

TKO (Bar Arm)

PRIDE 31 - Dreamers

2/26/2006

1

0:49

9/5/09 3:05 AM
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Squared Circle
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Win

Milco Voorn

Submission (Arm-Triangle Choke)

Bushido Europe - Rotterdam Rumble

10/9/2005

1

0:56

Win

Mirko Filipovic

DQ (Illegal Punches)

PRIDE 29 - Fists Of Fire

2/20/2005

1

3:40

Win

Fedor Emelianenko

DQ (Illegal Hold)

PRIDE - Total Elimination 2004

4/25/2004

1

2:11

Win

Don Frye

Decision (Unanimous)

PRIDE 26 - Bad to the Bone

6/8/2003

3

5:00

Win

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira

DQ (Illegal Hold)

PRIDE 16 - Beasts From The East

9/24/2001

1

6:10

Win

Allan Goes

TKO (Knees)

PRIDE 13 - Collision Course

3/25/2001

1

1:19

Win

Igor Vovchanchyn

Submission (Knees)

PRIDE Grand Prix 2000 - Finals

5/1/2000

2

3:09

9/5/09 3:06 AM
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Squared Circle
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Win

Kazuyuki Fujita

TKO (Corner Stoppage)

PRIDE Grand Prix 2000 - Finals

5/1/2000

1

0:02

Win

Akira Shoji

Decision (Unanimous)

PRIDE Grand Prix 2000 - Finals

5/1/2000

1

15:00

Win

Masaaki Satake

Submission (Neck Crank)

PRIDE Grand Prix 2000 - Opening Round

1/30/2000

1

1:14

Win

Ricardo Morais

Decision (Unanimous)

PRIDE 8 - PRIDE 8

11/21/1999

2

10:00

Win

Nobuhiko Takada

Come On

PRIDE 5 - PRIDE 5

4/29/1999

2

1:44

Win

Pedro Rizzo

Opponent Would Not Continue For 2nd Round

UFC 18 - Road to the Heavyweight Title

1/8/1999

1

15:00

9/5/09 3:07 AM
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Squared Circle
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Win

Pete Williams

DQ (Illegal Kick with Shoes)

UFC 17 - Redemption

5/15/1998

1

12:38

Win

Maurice Smith

Opponent Would Not Continue For 2nd Round

UFC 14 - Showdown

7/27/1997

1

21:00

Win

Dan Severn

Submission (Choke)

UFC 12 - Judgement Day

2/7/1997

1

2:57

Win

Brian Johnston

Submission (Strikes)

UFC 11 - The Proving Ground

9/20/1996

1

2:20

Win

Julian Sanchez

Submission (Choke)

UFC 11 - The Proving Ground

9/20/1996

1

0:45

9/5/09 3:07 AM
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Squared Circle
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Win

Don Frye

TKO (Strikes)

UFC 10 - The Tournament

7/12/1996

1

11:34

Win

Gary Goodridge

Submission (Position)

UFC 10 - The Tournament

7/12/1996

1

7:00

Win

Moti Horenstein

Submission (Strikes)

UFC 10 - The Tournament

7/12/1996

1

2:43

9/5/09 3:51 AM
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BROCKP4PNO1
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Edited: 09/05/09 3:51 AM
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SC, Coleman is without a doubt great (though obviously also an evil megalomaniac hellbent on world domination through means of hand tools delivering impulsive force by striking and vicious beasts spawned from the nethermost depths of hell as documented throughout this thread), you just have to come to terms with the fact that Tito is greater...
9/5/09 4:00 AM
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Sardine of Mean
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For as tuff as these fighters are in the cage, they do have feelings, and to many assholes in the UG for them to put up with...FUTA is gone! If you live in HB you can go talk to him almost everyday, and I doubt the haters would be talkin shit!
9/5/09 5:00 PM
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lookoutawhale
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I radioed the Jurrasic Park Medical Team through 278 military encryption in regards to this tito explosion rumour.

They have assured me that with that one tooth they can recreate the person it belonged to. Maybe then we can get to the bottom of that mysterious explosion.

Through their medical records they have also figured out the true identity of Squared Circle. They say in real life he goes by "Circled Square." Basically a reciprocal. Just some facts gentelman now get to work.

BrockP4pNo1 im going to need you to bake me a pie...


Not just any ordinary pie...








A really great pie!
9/5/09 7:07 PM
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RickStorm DaddyDirtied Me
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Transmission 2:  Inside War Room.  I have bugged the following places to ensure clear line of sound to every area; table, under table, under chairs, ceiling fan blade, back of computers, inside phone, inside linen closet, inside waste basket, inside stapler (red, Swingline), under desk, under floor, underwear... has not been changed in some time.  Will go commando.

End Transmission:  Agent Naru.


9/7/09 8:02 PM
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lookoutawhale
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 theres enough tension in this thread to drown a horse and suffocate a small pig!
9/8/09 11:16 AM
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RickStorm DaddyDirtied Me
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 *stops drowning horse for a moment*

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sloshing hooves!
 
9/9/09 2:30 PM
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lookoutawhale
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*awards Agent Neru UG purple heart medal for bravery*

it takes a big man to stop himself from drowning a horse. A crime that occurs far too many times on the battelfield!
9/9/09 3:24 PM
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BROCKP4PNO1
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Edited: 09/09/09 3:23 PM
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To my fellow combatants: My apologies for my temporary absence, but you see, as I was making my way to the front I fell victim to a surprise ambush carried out by a band of lizard-tailed Elvis Presley impersonators. I know, I know, pretty fucking weird, but here's the really weird thing: Instead of killing me on the spot and feasting on my flesh as I initially feared, they all turned out to be members of Jehovah's Witnesses and refused to let me go before I had listened to all their Explanatory Pamphlets.

Needles to say, I went "Fuck that you fucking whackjobs" and proceeded to viciously GNP each and every one of them to bloody pulps.

But I mean, I'm no Tito, so it took me some time to finish them all off.

Here I am though, and pending the outcome of Rick's dubious endeavors, horse pies for all soon!

Until Tito

9/9/09 3:34 PM
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RickStorm
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Just sent text message to Tom O Bedlam aka (for 30 days) rickstorm daddydirtied me, of his new mission of completing what I failed to do at UFC 102. In my defense Tito wasn't in Portland.

He replied back with;
          still waiting.......
9/9/09 4:52 PM
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RickStorm
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 Message received from Tom O Bedlam;
       "I am going to the weigh-ins, I forgot about the Q@A"
  
Second message received;
      "I will get a picture with him holding a sign that says, Fuck 2J2M - Until Tito"

End of text transmission
9/10/09 9:44 AM
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RLL
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More propaganda to the fact that Ortiz is better than Coleman... Mark is OBVIOUSLY impressed by Tito's ABS!

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/5232/titoabs.jpg
9/10/09 1:30 PM
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lookoutawhale
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 Old Mark Coleman had a farm E-I-E-I-O
and on that farm he had a house E-I-E-I-O
with a hammer house here and a hammer house there
here a hammer, there a hammer, everywhere a hammer hammer
Old Mark Coleman had a farm E-I-E-I-O




that is all the intel I have for you today gentlemen. back to your stations.
9/14/09 2:38 PM
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lookoutawhale
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RLL - More propaganda to the fact that Ortiz is better than Coleman... Mark is OBVIOUSLY impressed by Tito's ABS!


 

DIABOLICAL!!!!


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