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UnderGround Forums >> Possible fake Black Belt


2/1/14 4:58 PM
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hmeboy
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Mr Bungle - To those of you who fell for the Mattbattle:

Use Firefox with Adblock Plus, No Script, and Ghostery. That way you can just hover over an image or link and it will immediately tell you what the real address is.

Also, why WOULD you want to see Dave's sex tape? That's just fucked up. I'm sure mmaguy30 is SO Sorry to disappoint. Goons.

Why? Well what else am I gonna fap to?
2/1/14 5:03 PM
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Jessy30
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mmaguy30 -

AND HERE WE GO!!!! LANG-A-VISION PRESENTS: Dave & Tiphanie make a movie!!!

 

FUCK! First time in 3.5 yrs! Phone Post 3.0
2/1/14 6:05 PM
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Jack_Bauer
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get ya tits out - whats all this "in early" and VU shit? sounds like a bunch a highschool girls in this place

Did this line seriously come from a member with the name "get ya tits out"?

2/1/14 6:07 PM
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Grapple_Tackle
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Jessy30 -
mmaguy30 -

AND HERE WE GO!!!! LANG-A-VISION PRESENTS: Dave & Tiphanie make a movie!!!

 

FUCK! First time in 3.5 yrs! Phone Post 3.0
As soon as I clicked it, it was loading and I was like .."fuck". Phone Post 3.0
2/1/14 6:09 PM
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Jack_Bauer
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Edited: 02/01/14 6:29 PM
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itswhitty - 
Mr Bungle - Actually, that tats not even close to what I have in that FNM pic.
That looks more like the Star of David, which seems even weirder if indeed he was in a Christian Metal band.

The Star of David is a stranger choice still because Jews are forbidden to get tattoos.

Really hard to understand what was going through his head, but he may have gotten it before he ever had an inkling of this BJJ fantasy.

I'm picturing this: he hears that Jews tend to be successful and well-respected, so he gets an idea. Overnight, he brands himself Jewish and waits for the perks to roll in. The Jews, being a pretty wily bunch, know he's full of shit and will have nothing to do with him. Dave realizes that it's going to take a lot to impress them and be welcomed into their group. He briefly considers the investment of years of studying the Torah, forming a relationship with a rabbi, and taking steps toward being embraced by a community that is notoriously difficult for outsiders to join.

Then the light turns green and he snaps to and starts heading down the road. Still dreaming of Jew gold, something catches his eye -- a tattoo parlor! It's brilliant. He'd gone to temple twice, and both times he'd been struck by the lack of enthusiasm among the adherents. No flashy Jew-crosses or whatever, no tattoos of favorite scriptures... This was his chance to prove that he was the most hardcore Jew in town. Once they saw that he was the first in the congregation willing to get inked up for god they'd have to accept him, right?

Well, let's just say that it was such a bad idea that telling people he was in a Christian rock band seemed like a step up afterward...

(And again, this is fiction.)

 

The Star of David Lang?

 

2/1/14 7:10 PM
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TEAR GAS KUSH
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Lol I didnt click cause I scolled by and say everyone else bitching. Thx guys for warning me lol. Ive never been matbattled and im kind of curious. Not bicurious lol.

Anyword on mmajunkie or a local morning radio station in cortland
2/1/14 7:10 PM
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TEAR GAS KUSH
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Lol I didnt click cause I scolled by and say everyone else bitching. Thx guys for warning me lol. Ive never been matbattled and im kind of curious. Not bicurious lol.

Anyword on mmajunkie or a local morning radio station in cortland
2/1/14 7:12 PM
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TEAR GAS KUSH
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HAHAHA THAT SHITS A CLASSIC



'He pressed his forehead onto mine, as if to seal the joinmade elsewhere in our bodies, his soft lips but an inch away, his hot breath upon me like sexual incense, filling my nose, flooding my mouth, his grip on my gi growing tighter...' 

Wtf.. where...why..who......is it real or mmaguys site lol
2/1/14 8:28 PM
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BiggRigg
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Kuya, that's pretty bizarre. I remember years ago where I was training we had this guy show up who was like the most insufferable dude. Wasn't a bad guy, I could see as a person he wasn't mean or malicious, but like he began correcting others kick boxing/ ub grappling and what not in his first week training. Was really bizarre. So his girlfriend starts training too and is even worse. Like she had only put the white belt on for 5 minutes before trying to refine the technique of the fourth degree BB with 26 years experience holding Brazilian National Blue, Purple and Brown belt championships. They ended up having to leave but its weird, like a personality flaw. I don't know, like a compulsion to seem knowledgeable/ have some kind of imagined authority.

But yeah know what you mean about the confidence thing. Lang must allow that aspect of his make believe character to flourish at his 'gym'. If that's true, then that would logically mean that this has a definite ego factor to it. Interesting...
2/1/14 9:29 PM
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hillbilly_grappler
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WTF... I turned down the lights,lit some candles and found an old jar of Vaseline and a tube sock. I clicked the link ready to see the greatest needle dick black belt in America bang some skank white belt. But no I got mat battled. This is bullshit.
I hope your happy mmaguy.
2/1/14 9:53 PM
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BriggsSeekins
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Somehow I would be less disturbed to know about guy was jacking it to gay porn than knowing they were jacking to Dave Lang and his know-it-all skank.  

2/1/14 9:54 PM
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BriggsSeekins
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My enthusiasm for the Lang video is pure freakshow, much like my enthusiasm to finally get to watch the famous "Chicken Fucker" video when I was a young soldier in the field. 

2/1/14 10:07 PM
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hillbilly_grappler
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My failed attempt to make you laugh Briggs.Not familiar with the "chicken fucker" video Briggs but keep up the good work on the fake black belt.

2/1/14 10:18 PM
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BriggsSeekins
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It was funny, dude. Watching grainy footage of a guy fucking a chicked will ruin your faith in humanity, but I suppose it can prepare you to deal with a piece of shit like Lang. 

2/1/14 10:30 PM
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hillbilly_grappler
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Vintage beastiality. Haha I'm not surprised by anything anymore. Best of luck taking the pedo Lang down. I hope he gets what's coming to him.
2/2/14 1:18 AM
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VinegarStrokes
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Edited: 02/02/14 1:19 AM
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How long unti Tiphanie is a BB herself?...

2/2/14 1:21 AM
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Caladan
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TEAR GAS KUSH - Lol I didnt click cause I scolled by and say everyone else bitching. Thx guys for warning me lol. Ive never been matbattled and im kind of curious. Not bicurious lol.

Anyword on mmajunkie or a local morning radio station in cortland

Has there been communication with mmajunkie? Because honestly my gut said bloodyelbow would be the best bet, they do play-by-plays of jiu jitsu competitions and profiles of non mma fighting bjj blackbelts and such. IDK if the same is true of mmajunkie.
2/2/14 1:27 AM
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Mr Bungle
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Caladan - 
TEAR GAS KUSH - Lol I didnt click cause I scolled by and say everyone else bitching. Thx guys for warning me lol. Ive never been matbattled and im kind of curious. Not bicurious lol.

Anyword on mmajunkie or a local morning radio station in cortland

Has there been communication with mmajunkie? Because honestly my gut said bloodyelbow would be the best bet, they do play-by-plays of jiu jitsu competitions and profiles of non mma fighting bjj blackbelts and such. IDK if the same is true of mmajunkie.

Sorry dude, but Bloodyanus is the enemy here. They talk so much shit about the UG. Besides, if I have to read this story on a site run by that cowboy hat wearing simpleton, I'll blow my brains out. They actually embrace calling themselves BElitists, like they are better than everyone. No, get this in the hands of a real mma journo like John Morgan. (not saying BriggsSeekums isn't legit, just that he's not affiliated with any of the big MMA News sites of web).
2/2/14 4:26 AM
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walbjj
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Black Belt, Sydney, NSW, Aus.

so does anyone actually have the details of langs bjj/mma gym nowadays, seeing as edwards kicked him out, or is he training from a garage?

2/2/14 4:44 AM
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JBASS
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Mr Bungle -
Caladan - 
TEAR GAS KUSH - Lol I didnt click cause I scolled by and say everyone else bitching. Thx guys for warning me lol. Ive never been matbattled and im kind of curious. Not bicurious lol.

Anyword on mmajunkie or a local morning radio station in cortland

Has there been communication with mmajunkie? Because honestly my gut said bloodyelbow would be the best bet, they do play-by-plays of jiu jitsu competitions and profiles of non mma fighting bjj blackbelts and such. IDK if the same is true of mmajunkie.

Sorry dude, but Bloodyanus is the enemy here. They talk so much shit about the UG. Besides, if I have to read this story on a site run by that cowboy hat wearing simpleton, I'll blow my brains out. They actually embrace calling themselves BElitists, like they are better than everyone. No, get this in the hands of a real mma journo like John Morgan. (not saying BriggsSeekums isn't legit, just that he's not affiliated with any of the big MMA News sites of web).
Why can't this site run an article on it detailing the history? Phone Post 3.0
2/2/14 9:33 AM
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mmaguy30
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we are overdue for some white knights and "mmaguy tucked" types running their mouths... its coming soon...
2/2/14 9:54 AM
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Dirty Dick Slater
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Maybe I am late on this, but is thios David Langs father? https://www.facebook.com/peter.lang.7543
2/2/14 9:55 AM
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guesswhatchickenbutt
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Holy fuck.. it's been at LEAST 2 years since I've been matbattled. Good job Phil you fuck...
2/2/14 10:09 AM
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BriggsSeekins
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Peter Lang is David Lang's older half-brother. But he's about 23 years older. Dave's other brothers are approximately 22 and 14 years older. 

2/2/14 10:12 AM
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Dirty Dick Slater
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ok gotcha. Have we talked to any of those guys?

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