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HolyGround >> my condensed testimony....

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9/1/11 3:25 AM
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Member Since: 1/18/03
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(a very condensed version…)

I was about 14 the first time I encountered God. There was this event held at our local high school called “the biggest pizza party in the world”. supposedly, all you had to do was show up, and eat as much pizza as you wanted. When I got there, TONS of pizza boxes were being brought in, and huge lines were everywhere to get in on the food. After an hour or so, people were told to go to the auditorium for live music.

The band played for a few songs, then a dude got up to speak. He started talking about Jesus…about heaven and hell, and about people who, on their death bed, saw images of both. Looks like the whole pizza thing was a gimmick to get people to hear the Gospel! There was an alter call, and everyone was led to the adjacent hallways to get counseled and led through the sinners prayer. Since it was public, I wasn’t too sincere in my prayer, but decided to pray as soon as I got home.

I got home, and my dad was MAD. I had left without telling him where I was going, so my parents were waiting up for me worried if I was ok. He gave me a cussing I had never heard come from him before! I got my shower, still upset, and went to bed.

I gave God everything. I laid my life down to him. As I was praying, I felt the holy spirit fill the room, and cover my body. I felt his presence so strong, it was as if God himself were hugging me. The tears flooded down my face. The weight of everything was instantly lifted, and replaced with a peace that connot be described. I didn’t know about lifting my hands in worship, but that’s what I was doing. Both arms lifted as I lay in bed thanking him for everything.

I must have layed there doing that for over two hours. I remember looking at the clock and it being around 2 or 3 and being amazed so much time had passed. I remember wondering if that peace was still gonna be there when I got up the next day, and it was. Still just as peaceful as when it started. I floated through the next day, looking through a new pair of eyes. Everything was brighter, all my senses seemed to be enhanced, and I had so much love for everything and everyone.
This experienced definitely changed my life. I stopped listening to some of the music I used to listen to, and tore all the posters off my wall that I felt needed to be gone. My mom was amazed. Problem was, I didn’t know how to grow in my relationship to God. I didn’t know to pray everyday and to read the bible, and I slowly started to go back to my old ways.

A year later, It seems as though I had forgotten everything that happened. I had started smoking weed and doing anything else that would come my way.

Memory of ones life have events that stand out, that kind of define who we are, or identify with. The above is one for sure, and what im about to tell next is another.

One day, (I was prolly about 16) a friend of mine and I were just wasting a day with his parents down by the river. We had taken a few pills (don’t remember what) and were drinking a little. We went to his house and a few other friends showed up. We sparked a joint, and all sat down in the backyard talking. At some point in the conversation, he and I hit a still point in perception, and finished each others thought outloud. I don’t know what it was, or why the combination fit just right, but he said, “we gotta talk”

We left everyone outside and went to his room. We started talking about how everything connects, that everything is a circle…about peoples actions and motives, about life, and death and everything between. About stuff we had never even thought about, let alone talk about. It was as if we were climbing a pyramid, striving for its apex, but circling circles in a labyrinth of circles. Keep in mind we had never read anything like this, or was exposed to it in any obvious way. We thought we had come up with something brand new, lol. It was as if, in 3 hours we had become wisemen.

My life changed again. I starting keeping notebooks to write down observations and revelations I would get as the day went on. My brain was suddenly awake, and life was a beautiful experiment. I had a mind that constantly analyzed and questioned, searching for truth, or being happy with the paradoxical circle I would ride. We would get together at the end of the day often and share what we had learned that day, bouncing new ideas off each other and learning even more as we discussed.
Drugs were still a big part of my life, only now, I used them to think more. I would get high, and zone out…watching my thoughts follow a path to an epiphany, write it down, then start all over. That was my greatest passion, to get more revelations about life, write them down, and sometimes try to get others to see them…to get them to “wake up”. I filled dozens of notebooks (which I still have)

Along came acid. I had found my drug of choice.

Acid was plentiful around the years of 93-95. Not sure why, but we could get our hands on some lsd every weekend pretty much. I wouldn’t trip to giggle like some did. I tripped to explore my mind. I would get a years wisdom and experience in one night. We were tripping every weekend, and sometimes a day during the week too. We were doing it way too often.

One night, it was just me and my best friend tripping together. No one else was in the house. When the peak came (peak, meaning the height of the acids effects, usually an hour or two long) we decided to meditate back to back. We were sitting on a bed, and I was facing the bathroom that was connected to the room. There was a small window in that bathroom that had a dim amount of light coming through it from a security light in the backyard.

I used that window to try to reach the other side. I remember thinking to myself “spirits, good or bad, if you are around, show me something”. I focused on the window, and let everything else fade. As soon as I would start “getting there” my buddy would say, “dude, where you going? I feel you leaving”…this happened a few times, and I told him to shut up, that he was messing me up.

Once the meditation started back up, I started seeing shapes appear from the light from the window. They were geometrical shapes that would appear from nothing, then disappear, then reopen in a new shape kinda like a screen saver on a computer. The equation numbers would appear as if typed in, below the shape. I know nothing of math, still suck at it, but numbers would appear below the shapes every time.

The shapes sped up. Would appear quicker, and disappear quicker. It kept speeding up until it finally opened in the shape of a circle and started rotating counter-clockwise slowly. It stayed there, spinning slowly, and the room sort of twisted, like it was getting sucked into the circle. I looked inside the circle and saw a huge piece of flatland, gray, with spheres floating above the ground all over the place casting oval shadows on the ground.

As I looked deeper, I saw the room start to get sucked into the cir
9/1/11 3:26 AM
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As I looked deeper, I saw the room start to get sucked into the circle. As the objects in my peripheral started getting sucked in, I felt like I was leaving my body as well...joining the objects. Right as I was about to panic, the alarm to get up and go to school went off, snapping me out of it.

I wasn't the same after that. It seemed like I had messed something up that night, and I couldn't quite get back to my old self. Im sure tripping that much in that short amount of time did most of it, but it seemed like a black cloud was hanging over me after that night. I hate to use that cliché term, but it was a combination of confusion, deep sadness, and hopelessness that can only be described in that way.

Then, a couple weeks later, came the night that has had the biggest impact on me. Déjà vu. We are dropping some acid again. This time, as its kicking in, I feel a little uneasy. About 8 of us are tripping, and im trying to explain what it is like to one of my friends before his starts kicking in. he was a little worried, and I was comforting him, all the while, uneasy myself.

Once the drug kicked in pretty heavy, I felt better, just a little uneasy. A friend that was there was waiting for his brother to get off work before he dropped his hit, so he was needing a buzz. He didn't have any weed, and he wanted me to score a bag for him. I didn't want to go ANYWHERE, but he kept begging me to let him drive me the 40 minutes it would take to get the weed, so I gave in.

We got into his 70's nova...that big green hunk of metal, and headed out. I kept being paranoid about riding on the highway for some reason. He was completely sober, but I kept thinking we were gonna wreck, and kept dismissing it as acid paranoia. My chest had been kinda hurting all night, but now it was getting worse, like a panic attack. Then the whole left side of my body started going numb. It was like I was having a stroke or something.

I kept trying to distract myself from it...talking, moving, stretching....none of it worked, it kept getting worse. When my face started going numb along with my lips, I got really scared. To the point I started praying. I said, "God, please let me live...if you do, I wont do this again". but I was also thinking, "well, I can still smoke weed every now and then" because I wasn't ready to give that up yet.

God spoke to me louder than I had ever, or have ever since. He said, "why should I let you live when you havent lived for me? Why should I let you live when you have only lived for yourself all this time?"

I think the reason he answered in this manner was because I was coming to him half-hearted, kinda playing the game of "do this for me now, and I might do this later" thing.

When he said those words to me, I said, "take me to the hospital." my friend freaked and starting talking about how I was just having a bad trip, that my body was getting worn down, that I would be alright, that I didn't want to be in a hospital tripping acid and having both of us hounded with questions.

I didn't care. I was dying and I needed to make sure I lived.

We get to the hospital, and I walk in to the admittance desk and say,
"um, my heart feels funny"
"what do you mean your heart feels funny?"
"I don't know, my heart just feels funny"

As I looked at her, her face started to melt like wax, so I looked at the floor to change my view. It started twisting like a barber shop pole. I said "never mind" and started walking out as she said, "are you sure???"

I got back into the car and told him to drive. We got to the end of the driveway of the hospital, about the length of a football field, and the feeling came back, only worse. I told him to go back. He was getting mad by this point. This happened a couple more times, and I kept trying to balance the pros and cons of going in, getting in trouble, and shaming my parents....or DIE trying to see if it went away.

The last time we were heading out, I actually let him get on the highway to head back. I gave up. I put my head in my lap and prayed this simple prayer to God. "God, I give up. I give it all to you. You can have my life. Im sorry for living the way I have...I want to follow you".

As soon as I started praying, the holy spirit started at my feet, and starting flowing up my body until it covered me completely. I then remembered when I had experienced him in my room years ago, and was amazed I had let myself almost be convinced he didn't exist.

I was soaked in that supernatural peace I spoke of earlier. The weight of the world was lifted from me, along with the acid buzz, and the ill body side effects I was having. I felt so clean, so new...born again.

I got his bag of weed for him, told everyone in that house I got it from that I was done with drugs and my war with God was over, and went back to the house where the other tripping friends were. I spent the rest of the night by myself outside praising God, hands lifted, staring at everything through new eyes. I wondered if I would have that peace the next day, and I did.

This time, I met a girl whose mom was a christian, and they took me in, showing me how to get close to God. Started going to their church, and started getting to know this God I had such and encounter with. Although I have felt his presence many many times since then, none can compare to that hug you get as you give your life to him. If anyone reading this could feel it, they would fall to their knees crying...amazed that he does exist, does care enough to manifest himself to you, and never want it to end.
9/4/11 12:54 PM
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 Interesting. It sounds like the drugs were creating this ? 
9/5/11 10:08 AM
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Creating what? The experiences with god? Those were separate. I've had them sober Phone Post
9/10/11 12:06 PM
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Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Wait a minute, let me get this str.....hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Sorry. So wait your telling me...hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

You believe in God????

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Phone Post
9/10/11 1:31 PM
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*giggles* Phone Post
9/29/11 10:50 PM
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TTT for someone Phone Post
9/30/11 1:33 AM
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Member Since: 11/17/09
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Very inspiring. I came to Christ while in a drugged condition as well. I had been "running" from Him. He is good. Phone Post

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