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What if ... >> Occupy What If forum


1/11/12 5:57 PM
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unfilter
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 What If...
                          
...MMA Fighters were Greek Gods?
=ZEUS=  
thunderbolt of a right hand, killer of titans and an era of dominance.  also multiple wives and questionable decision making. 



  =ARES=
fierce, temperamental; at times fearless and seemingly unstoppable yet has had trouble staying the course when things don't go his way.
=APOLLO=
a tactical acumen much akin to the gift of prophecy and archer-like striking accuracy.  (until recently) as dependable as the sun rising in the east.  despite his success, not a born killer.  associated more with
youth and beauty.



1/11/12 6:28 PM
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unfilter
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  =POSEIDON= 
Both had multiple homes, whereas poseidon split his time between olympus and a palace beneath the sea, barnett has found success both in the US as well as across the sea.  unpredictable and ill-tempered yet wielding tremendous power.

=HERMES=
speed and cunning are the watchwords here.  a traveller who is capable of quickly ushering souls into the underworld as well having once abruptly departed himself.
=DIONYSUS=
A handsome young man with impressive hair, popular and light-hearted.  a late comer to Olympus.  prone to madness and revelry. 


1/11/12 6:39 PM
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unfilter
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(of course i agree with you Supes, but this is a What If... and therefore radically separate from our 'old' reality)

  =HEPHAESTUS= 
while not known for being a paragon of human beauty, the comparatively slow and workmanlike hendo does seem to carry a hammer in his right hand.

=HADES=
He rarely leaves the underworld. He is unpitying and terrible, but not capricious.
1/11/12 6:42 PM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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 superCalo, please refrain from moderating in a forum without moderators, it is unbecoming of you and frankly I am just now realizing my hypocrisy in trying to moderate your moderation, which again may be a contradiction in itself.
1/11/12 6:50 PM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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As I have just said to lookoutawhale in private communique, this thread will grow in obscurity, and some day when it has been raised to life as a mature adult, it will be sprung upon the UG as they look on confused and violated, and that certainty may be embraced now, the knowledge infusing itself into this very forum and making the conception of moderation possible in the sense that one may muse upon it without actualizing it and therefore the cycle does not exist in the realm of What If It Were and so you are free, theoretically, while still being trapped in actuality.
1/11/12 6:52 PM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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I believe that one can limit the bowels without moderating the mind, so I agree that seems reasonable.
1/11/12 7:03 PM
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unfilter
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 i'll go ahead and dig a latrine if someone wants to get the smores ready.
1/11/12 7:04 PM
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unfilter
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 i've been using the men's room of a bagels plus but its all the way across the parking lot but its best to play it safe.
1/11/12 7:22 PM
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unfilter
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that would explain my brief yet unforgettable detention in the office of the strip mall.  leered at and judged by mall security who sniggered behind their back at my somewhat informal appearance and easy smile.  they accused me of beign a terrorist who used pepper spray in the bathroom and asked me who i voted for in the last election.  the fat one demanded my birth certificate and when i was unable to comply i was accused of being a tin-pan tramp and and a hobo.  they gave my wool touk to a pair of min-pin dobermans so the dogs have my scent.  it looks like i wont get to use my $20 gift card there after all, sorry to all the guys in the yurt who were counting on that income to survive.
1/11/12 9:28 PM
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lookoutawhale
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 *grabs community conch and walks to centre of tent*

I want to thank brother unfilter, brother supercalo and brother 2 jupes for their take on society in a what if platform. These are items that need to be addressed. Topics of the utmost importance that we fear to discuss outside of this cognitive bubble in the possibility of being censored, group retribution, revenge and other hootenannnys . The what if forum gives us the solitude and deserted atmosphere we need for these thoughts to truly come to fruition without outside moderation stopping us, without them policing what we can and cant do.  It allows us a peace of mind.

No one on the “outside” even knows this thread exists. It is only us select few that are aware in this movement. We are brothers in arms against an red coloured antonist that rules with the fist of stalin. A harbour crane that takes on beloved thread and moves its away from the longshormen and into steel boxes where it is driven into the what if.. abyss.  We are boys that have no identity, citizens with no country that live in a world where we don’t truly exist. I say boys because time does not exist in the what if. It stays stagnant. Never moving back or forward. Its is peter pants neverland with out the moderating captain hook. If one us were usernapped, would anyone even notice? Would anyone even care? Who would come looking for us? A mudnamer? No.. no one would because no one reads this section of the forum. Its more of a memorial of fallen topics. It’s a place of sadness when the OP discovers their thread was taken out society and buried in back trunk of 87 chevy cobalt.

What we are doing here is creating a revolution of thought. An ideology that will only get stronger with time, additional brethren and exponentially more Mexican pesos for us to redistribute to the masses. As the latino people reinvest that money into more threads that begin in the What if partition of the forum and then illegally find its way over the border into the UG and OG, it can then lead to more prosperous posting that will benefit future keyboard warriors like the IBM Aztecs, The Apple Mayans and the Windows Incas. The exodus of this think tank will create more life in farther reaching parts of this forum.

*has a spoonful of peanutbutter*

Unfilters elephant graveyard ideas got me thinking last night. So much so that I didn’t sleep a wink. I layed down on a Sega Dreamcast controller and envisioned something deeper for all of us.

Why should a thread die in the what if forum? Why cant it be born here. Why cant it be conceived, brought up here, clutch the areola of unpopular thought, suck on a state of unmoderated nipples while taking in various worldly ideas from posters. Raised in a state of common living among equals. Where no thought is too stupid or too smart. Equilibrium of the mind. A type of cerebral communism.

Society wants to keep us down. But like hydrochloric acid fountaining up towards the esophageal sphincter and giving a thai restaurant patron heart burn, we too are rising to the occasion and revolting in this stomach we call mma.tv

Look im not saying I know everything, im a simple mammal, living a simple aquatic life. Ive defecated in places where I should have urinated, ive urinated in places that I should have defecated. Im not a perfect whale, but I strive to be better each day.  And I feel with this what if thread, im a bit better than I was the day before. Its given me an opportunity to express myself like none before. Ive been trying to lose weight. I use to weigh 300 metric tons, but now Im down to 288. I consume only diet gravy and diet cheese in my poutine and wash it down with diet water. Its given me the self esteem to beach myself shirtless.

*sips on rootbeer*

At status quo the What if forum is treated like the hippocampus hemisphere of the cerebral cortex. Undeveloped before the age of 3 and responsible for short term memory, thoughts die there in toddlers. They never truly become long term memories for children. I don’t want that to be the What if forum. I want it to be a place where information can by siphoned to others in need. A section of the forum that acts as a conduit to higher learning. The apex of human and animal thought that isn’t repressed, and excludes the government red tape that plagues other parts of this forum.

Posting in this section of the forum is a peaceful ayurvedic form of meditation in an otherwise hectic post world full of individuals that want to crush unique thoughts like the anti mod ping pong theory, various thought provoking threads by brother supercalo and many other ideas and polls that are forgotten. Laid to rest in this e-attic, hidden under the stairs by step parents leaving Harry Potter to ruminate alone about the muggles.

This forum section is open to all. The strong, the weak, gentlemen, the lurkers, the google bots, the whores and prostitutes that are not welcome in other parts of this website. The lepers, the bet welchers, the spammers, the people that create too many polls that no one reads because you can just view posts due to odd html encoding. We view them all as equals.

Let this be the first reciprocal thread. Where the UG numerator becomes the What If denominator and vice versa.

A THREAD THAT IS BORN HERE BUT INSTEAD DIES IN THE UG/OG!!!
 
I seek extradition of this thread in the future and will not rest until I do so with my fellow tent pitchers.

*Puts conch back on peanutbutter jar*

1/11/12 9:43 PM
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lookoutawhale
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 this thread is just a pregnant woman walking around waiting to open up her legs and drop a baby on the ug in a few months. when its ready.
1/11/12 10:07 PM
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unfilter
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Edited: 01/12/12 6:01 AM
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just trying to get a baby-making rhythm going.

-until baby.
1/11/12 10:28 PM
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lookoutawhale
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 http://i42.tinypic.com/35iuqrl.gif
1/12/12 1:22 AM
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Team GDP
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 alright who wants some smores?
1/12/12 2:46 AM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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I will take Calo's leftover graham crackers but let them sit a bit to absorb a little marshmallow but not so long that he gets around to touching them Phone Post
1/12/12 3:52 AM
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lookoutawhale
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duckhuntgangsta -  This thread was so 2011. Unfortunately something not known as a "dneirflrig" discoved my SN and Google and all my threads were since deleted....what if I didn't have a dneirflrig?

 hmm tell us more duckhuntgangsta.

*opens tent door*

Was there another group of individuals with the same mission statement as us?

What happened to this What If society of 2011? Do they still exist? Can threads be deleted in the what if? is that even possible..

Unfilter i need you to grab a shovel. Start digging. If this ancient civilazation of 2011 became extinct i need to know why. We need to learn from their mistakes. 2jupes i want you to take a nap. I think you overdosed on the peanutbutter.

Supercalo can you go to the local library and figure out who this dneirflrig character is. Did he too overflow the toilet at Bagels plus? or is this the same Bangladeshi merchant that tried to give you food poisoning through his chapatti and masala spiked lentils in an effort to nix this thread through your intestines. Instead of hydrochloric acid rupturing the esopheagal sphinster, this vendor took the opposite route. Sending his acidic based spices downwards and trying to rupture the anal sphinster.
1/12/12 5:58 AM
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unfilter
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Edited: 01/12/12 6:00 AM
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lookoutawhale - Unfilter i need you to grab a shovel. Start digging. If this ancient civilazation of 2011 became extinct i need to know why.

*salutes smartly*  can do-  ive created this spelunking dummy out of an old tim sylvia sweat suit and a miners cap:

the suit is stuffed full of highly sensitive equipment, designed to collate all manner of vital data.  of course when i use the term, sensitive equipment, i mean, the suit is stuffed full of tim sylvia. 

don't worry he's got my cellphone.

i'll simply winch tim down as deep as he's willing to go or, failing that, as deep as we want him to go, as once we buckle the harness on he will be dangling quite helplessly with only our ears to hear him scream.

based on my research which, admittedly, is superficial and lacking in academic discipline i've sketched out what i believe lies below:


*escorts tim to the entrance, there is a brief but solemn ceremony; tim applies some chapstick as the air is quite dry near the hole.  soon he is swallowed up bodily by the yawning darkness.  the silence that follows in his absence is palpable...a tense hour passes, then another.*

*a faint buzzing is heard, tim is texting me on my work phone.*
--gentlemen, mr. sylvia has just reached the 18th layer and the news couldn't be more disturbing.  we are not alone.  some unknown entity precedes us here.  there's no way of knowing yet whether its benevolent or malign.  it is either a ghost or a robot, or the ghost of a robot or some heretofore uncontemplated chimerical combination of the two.  it calls itself the Soup Nazi and it knows we are here.--

 
1/12/12 7:54 AM
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Firecrap
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UGCTT_RickStorm -  It's cold over hear gentleman

 Not sure of your intentions around here.   I would advise you to slip into something more casual to not draw attention to yourself.  We wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea.
1/12/12 10:02 AM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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 Is Joseph Heller still alive?  Seems like he'd fit in well if he isn't afraid of the technology.
1/12/12 10:04 AM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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Edited: 01/12/12 10:14 AM
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 This may not be interesting to anyone, but I actually own the original source book of the image that unfilter posted of the underworld, and was raised as a small child to believe it sketched out the book of Revelations with great accuracy, and that I could use it as sort of a long-term day planner. 


Clarence Larkin, an early Evangelical and forerunner to literalist blockbuster Revelationists such as Hal Lindsay and Tim Lahaye, published nine books on "Dispensationalist Truth." All of which from the Christian premillennialist perspective, and illustrated with his now rather famous "Larkin Charts."

1/12/12 10:15 AM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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If we could track down the fellow who made this video, it may be helpful

1/12/12 11:56 AM
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Prefers Playing in the Mud
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Meanwhile, a passer-by dressed in a gray hoodie and baggy jeans stumbles across what appears to be the most diverse group in the Occupy Movement. The sweet aroma of the smores and peanut butter eminated from their tent... 

*peeks head into tent

What's up guys? Hope you don't mind me grabbing a spot over here.

I've got a few things with me. I brought lawn chairs, a harmonica, some guitars and an endless supply of Charmin Ultra Soft toilet paper.

I come in peace, but will strike down with vengence if need be.






1/12/12 12:54 PM
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Authority Figure
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Blue Name Please:

http://i42.tinypic.com/xp4l11.jpg
1/12/12 1:23 PM
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Prefers Playing in the Mud
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1/12/12 1:49 PM
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MountainMedic
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When are we gonna start smashin shit & setting fires?

And where the hell is jeff monson, he should be all this shindig? Phone Post

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