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What if ... >> Occupy What If forum


1/17/12 8:17 AM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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Best post Eva? Phone Post
1/17/12 10:18 PM
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lookoutawhale
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 ^ oh it was a powerful post. Its of my belief that Unfilter majored in What If.. in college. Its the only way to explain a thought process this deep, this wide, this thick, this wet, this..

*pops boner and forgets original idea*
1/17/12 10:26 PM
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Team GDP
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 vtfu unfilter.

*thinks jesus christ whale boners are huge*
1/18/12 2:28 AM
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lookoutawhale
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Team GDP -  vtfu unfilter.

*thinks jesus christ whale boners are huge*

http://i1-news.softpedia-static.com/images/news2/The-Largest-Penis-in-the-World-2.jpg
1/18/12 8:12 PM
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UGCTT_RickStorm
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 That was way more then I needed to see of you Mr lookout a whale

Although.... I somehow feel closer to you now =)
1/18/12 8:13 PM
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UGCTT_RickStorm
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 Occupie'
1/18/12 10:50 PM
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WoodenPupa
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Greetings, raggedy men. Though I've just arrived in this improvised shanty town of eclectic castoffs, I was already soul-sworn to it the day I was born. My mother knew this.

I've no sustenance for the bodies gathered here, solid, fluidic or otherwise. What I bring instead is 200 lbs of paper-writ thinking, untwittered or facially booked, and heretofore unsung into the air.

*unharnesses gigantic backpack and dumps it to the dirt*

That's 200 lbs of mostly free-verse poetry, although I prefer the more precise "semi-organized inscripted potential speech acts." You may however refer to it as you see fit.

Many pages are simply ideas, wrote deliberately down. Many are BROKE down, like our pruned nicotine hearts and children. Others are on fire, and nothing can be done for them. Let them burn!

I mean to stand here and read every page, close to 20,000 or so. And I shall read pages one by the one, casting each one off into the universe when I've got done speaking the words on it. What happens to the pages is not my concern. You may be so concerned; I cannot stop the concern of others. But I aim to speak everything I can, however long it takes, and to remain standing until the 200 pounds is finished.
1/18/12 10:51 PM
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WoodenPupa
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Note: or until our demands are met. Quick q: have we considered demanding that our demands not be met? This tactic may beneficially prolong the movement.
1/18/12 10:58 PM
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WoodenPupa
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And since I feel I'm among friends, I'm comfortable sharing my True Street Name: Sir Dr. Sergeant St. Mr. Duke Lelolilalu Running Reeves Broken Bansheeba SkySmoker McRiva McMacinSansur Freehola Williamson "Willy" Willard y Vega y Sanchez y Donner y Blitzen Mayapopilopidos-Dekkers III, Jr, Esq.

I realize it's a bit formal sounding, but it "is what it is" (which is fortunate, since otherwise it would be what it isn't).

Anyway, Pupa is faster so you may use that if you want to get my attention. Or just call my wooden, rotary dial cell phone at this number: 1. (It's a limited edition signed Genki Sudo prototype What If? phone soon to be, or never, available in Japan).

1/18/12 11:02 PM
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WoodenPupa
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And just for the record, if I'm ever asked my occupation by some 9-5 square or cop, I'm going to reference this thread, and then ask if he seen what I did there.

He won't, but you all will here.
1/18/12 11:05 PM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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I was wondering when this asshole would show up.

:)

1/18/12 11:07 PM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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Has anyone seen Oz Loco?

Poor guy is probably thinking retarded shit right now and doesn't have anywhere to write it down.

1/18/12 11:28 PM
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lookoutawhale
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 *sits down in park to hear poetry by Woodenpupa*
1/18/12 11:36 PM
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WoodenPupa
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Before I read, I have to get my own protests off my chest. My complaints are about the academic world, and its failure to provide curricula for the following disciplines:

1) Octodontomorphapollology. The study of the eight teeth comprising the shifting dental affairs of the god Appollo's mouth whenever he apologized.

--This needs little comment, but I will just reiterate the cries of thousands of talented researchers in this sorely-understudied field.

2) Nonology. Depending on which camp you're with, either the study of non-studying, or the lack of studying carried out in the manner of scholarly living.

-I won't enter this debate, but merely unleash my plea for both sides of this exciting field to have a presence in 21st century universities.

3) Monthology. The study of months.

-Cheerleaders seeking graduate degrees need something all their own. There are specializations in particular months, and broad surveys of calendrical philosophy in this exciting, barely represented field.

4) Superology. The study of that which is above studying.

-Obvious double-winged bias has prevented this science from proper entry into modern academia.

5) Metasuperology. The study of everything above the entities studied by superology.

--Admittedly a nascent field, there is much budding talent across the planet simply lacking the proper research materials to unleash epic potential in this growing field.

6) Fictology. Again, two schools. Either: purely imaginary study, or the study of fictitious enterprises.

--A possibly amazing field that, unfortunately, may never blossom in a world obsessed with the "actual".

7) Metasuperfictology: the study of *the study of* everything above the fictional entities studied by fictology; or, the imaginary study of everything above the fictional entities studied by fictology.

--This isn't a recognized field at all, but I predict it will be when all is done and said.

*Note: superfictology is bypassed since it is, in advance, already passe when we but consider that metasuperfictology was born to override it like Michael Knight blazing a desert floor.

My open questions: why aren't our universities open to these exciting new fields, which are teeming with cheer and beauty? Since ancient times, these studies have been known to be rad. Where is Al Gore, or B. Sure, for that matter, when the chips are loaded and the dice are cold? Where is my ultra-specialized abstract education nation, MOTHERFUCKERS??
1/18/12 11:42 PM
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WoodenPupa
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What's up my crooked chromosomally unideficient brother, formerly plurally and excessively Jupiter?

1/18/12 11:45 PM
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lookoutawhale
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i didnt think id see the day where i met man crazier than 2jupes.

that day is now.
1/18/12 11:48 PM
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WoodenPupa
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One confession: I'm here in part because I've been kicked out of the community college death chug band I started 15 years ago, The Lumberjack Neurosurgeons. I'm cool with the band's decision, but I'm not cool with the fact that they sold the giant cheetoh sculpture of my face which I used to bring on stage with me. If anybody runs across it in a shanty town pawn shop, please steal or purchase it and bring it to the center of town. We can munch on it, but I want to look at it for a while. Nice fuckin' sculpture; original cheetoh formula used in the 90's. Surprising lifelikeness. Prohibited in the void.
1/18/12 11:50 PM
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1ChromosomeTooMany
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 Ah, all is good with the world.  First true chuckle I've had all day.
1/18/12 11:55 PM
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WoodenPupa
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And now, before the telepoemetry, another formal request. To whomever it may metaconcern:

I would like a picture of a statue of a telephone. Wooden---oak, like my eyelashes.

Deluxe, totally custom. Super realistic, yet artistic.

I want to feel like I am in danger when I look at this picture of the telephone statue.

I want to feel tons and tons of emotions, so much that I never recover, so that I can brag that I was damaged by the picture when I'm laying down under the park bench thinking about chess next time.

I wanna be so damaged by this pic that it will entice another photographer to snap a shot of my dreary facial blight, proving my rad hell.

Hey mister, did you know that flesh is like a suit of emotional soup? A still and loose syrupy jacket covering the deeper story?

Even the sunshine is oaken when the desert is velvet.

Thank you,

Pupa.
1/18/12 11:57 PM
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WoodenPupa
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Didn't Rodney King fight for What If? I mean when he was drinking.
1/19/12 12:00 AM
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WoodenPupa
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And now, some reverse freebird dirt messages.

*forwardly and upwardly yanks out hunk of papers from backpack*

*clears throat*
1/19/12 12:05 AM
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WoodenPupa
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Bitch showing off her Batman chicken helmet like I'm going to care. Me explode loafs of chocolate Batman retina wigs with the help of a Pabstized tarantula sherriff esophagus-jumprope addict living on the precipice of Ragnarok opera.

(interlude with blue oreo meat)

Play hopscotch in pi/pi ragtime quantus with me for another ten years before you flap your magic talking hole about the technical mumbo-jumbo.

Get off the ping pong pogostick jumprope twister soapbox and slice up a loaf of green soap for a photograph of yourself hanging out with a professional lullaby doctor. Bitch, you can't even explain how Popeye got chopped up and left in pieces in your dresser and under the couch and stuff. Just stop it you fucking psycho.
1/19/12 12:09 AM
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WoodenPupa
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duckhuntgangsta - Great content, horrible iambic pentameter, I didn't once hear a good time trill my djembi. 


True, but I've been feeling really down since the cheetoh sculpture caper my former bandmates pulled, and it affected the demiorganization of my sentential scribbles in the past, notably their rhythm.

1/19/12 12:09 AM
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WoodenPupa
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I can cast a spell on certain people and make them jump right in the trash.

I dunno how valuable that is, but I can do it.
1/19/12 12:19 AM
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WoodenPupa
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Hey, is this Occupy territory safe from floating mustache attacks? My doctor said I can't get attacked by no mustaches no more, so I gotta be careful.

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