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OtherGround Forums >> Mike the craigslist troll (pic)


2/26/12 8:27 PM
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ZeRoTZ
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Posts: 685
Tree Removal Barter

Posted at: 2010-01-22 02:20:47

Original ad: i need a grille not the cole kind but the gas kind. i will barter my skill as a landscaper in turn for a good grille if u need any kind of landscape work

From Me to **************@***********.org:

Hello,

I saw your ad looking for a grill in exchange for your landscaping skills. Do you do tree removal? If so, there is a very expensive grill in it for you.

Thanks,

Mike

From josh ******* to Me:

yes

From me to josh *******:

Great! There is a pine tree that has been bothering me and I want it cut down. You won't have to remove it. It hasn't been a problem until about two years ago when it got much taller. My problem with it is that it is obscuring the view to my neighbor's upstairs bathroom window. I used to have a perfect view of the neighbor's wife changing in the bathroom every day. She had great tits and an ass that was out of this world. It really completed my morning whenever I caught a glimpse of her. Now that this damn pine tree is in the way, I can't see a thing.

If you could go onto my neighbor's property and cut the tree down while they are at work, I will let you take the grill that is outside on their patio. I'm not sure what brand it is, but it is a gigantic propane grill. It looks really nice.

If they ask about it, I will tell them that a huge storm happened while they were at work, and the wind blew the tree over and blew the grill away. Meanwhile you will be enjoying a delicious salisbury steak from your new grill, and I wil be enjoying my neighbor's hot wife as she steps into the shower.

They usually leave for work around 7:30 AM during the week, and come back home around 6:00 PM. If you could have it done before they get back on Monday, that would be great.

Thanks,

Mike

From josh ******* to Me:

wat the fuck r u smoking dude? so i cut down ur neigbors tree and u let me steal his grille. what a grate deal ass hole. how bout i just take the grille and dont cut down the tree u fuck

From me to josh *******:

You don't know where his house is, so how are you going to steal the grill? I think my information in exchange for your services is a fair trade. I'll even let you come over for a few beers afterward, and we can watch the wife in the bathroom from my bedroom window.

Mike

From josh ******* to Me:

i dont want a stolen grille i want a real grille u retard wat da fuck is ur problem. and i dont give a shit bout naked neigbor u fuckin perv

From me to josh *******:

I assure you that this grill is real. By cutting down the tree, you are earning the grill and it will not be stolen. Also, if seeing a naked woman isn't your thing, you could probably catch the husband changing in the bathroom as well. I won't be watching, but I'm not one to judge your lifestyle.

Mike

From josh ******* to Me:

ur the fagot u dick sucking fuck fag cock sucker!! eat a fuckin dick u piece of shitt!!! Phone Post
2/26/12 8:35 PM
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McFly
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Posts: 1577
. Phone Post
2/26/12 8:57 PM
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ZeRoTZ
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Posts: 687
Xbox Repairman

Posted at: 2010-01-08 12:16:03

Original ad: Broken Xbox 360? Red ring of death? Disc-read error? No problem! We repair broken Xbox 360s for $50 or less. Call or email ***-***-2811 or **********@comcast.net

From Me to **********@comcast.net:

Hello,

I sure hope you will be able to help me. I'm not sure what is wrong with my Xbox but it will not turn on. I've tried plugging it in to a bunch of different outlets, but none of them seem to work. Do you think you can help?

Thanks,

Mike

From Dean ****** to Me:

Hi Mike,

The outlet most likely has nothing to do with why your system won't turn on.

I certainly can help you though. I will rectify your xbox and can have it back to you in a week or so depending on the problem. Do you live in the area or would you like to ship the console?

Dean

From Me to Dean ******:

Oh my god, you are sick! I will not let you do that unspeakable act to my Xbox. I always knew that the internet is full of freaks and sexual deviants, but you have reached a new low. I thought your ad was for Xbox repairs, but I have been horribly mistaken.

From Dean ****** to Me:

Mike,

I'm not sure what you think I was saying. To rectify is to repair or mend something that is broken. I was only trying to tell you that I would repair your Xbox. I am sorry for any misunderstanding.

Dean

From Me to Dean ******:

Dean,

Don't lie to me. I know what rectify means, and the fact that you want to do it with an Xbox is disgusting. I can't even imagine how it is possible to do it with something that big, or what kind of pleasure that could possibly bring to a pervert like you. Regardless, I want my Xbox to be fixed, not to be violated and returned to me covered in ass hairs and feces. I will just mail it back to where I bought it and hope that the warranty is not void.

Mike

From Dean ****** to Me:

You clearly don't know the definition of rectify. I assure you I only want to fix your system.

From Me to Dean ******:

Dean,

I don't even want to know what you mean by "fix my system." Leave me alone before I call the police, you pervert.

Mike

From Dean ****** to Me:

I mean I am going to solve the problem that is causing your Xbox 360 to not turn on. That is all.

From Me to Dean ******:

Dean,

Even if you did return it to me and it worked, I would never be able to look at my Xbox the same way. There will always be the thought in the back of my mind that you took it and violated it.

I am going to post an ad warning other unsuspecting victims about the true disgusting motive behind your ad. What you are doing is sick.

Mike

From Dean ****** to Me:

If you do that then I will post an ad explaining that you are a fucking idiot that doesn't know what "rectify" means. Go fuck yourself. Phone Post
2/26/12 10:07 PM
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I am Juan Eli Manning
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Later Phone Post
2/26/12 10:23 PM
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Sheldonite
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Posts: 252
Subwoofers Phone Post
2/26/12 10:31 PM
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Marco808
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Dude is brilliant.

Someone get him on here. This is how to troll.
2/26/12 10:53 PM
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Tru
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MMAPrime.TV, Host
 ttt i spent a day reading that entire website while back
2/26/12 10:57 PM
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SilverBackStrong
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TTT Phone Post
2/26/12 11:51 PM
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DoctorVanNostran
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Ttt Phone Post
2/26/12 11:53 PM
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NAzHunter
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sub Phone Post
2/27/12 12:04 AM
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JayBird
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. Phone Post
2/27/12 12:19 AM
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Nitecrawler
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Later. Phone Post
2/27/12 12:30 AM
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behzad
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I havent laughed that hard in a while Phone Post
2/27/12 12:36 AM
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Dr VanNostrand
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Sub Phone Post
2/27/12 1:48 AM
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smellslikefishtasteslikechicken
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Posts: 281
These are great and I would hate to be the guy that says this but fuck , come on...these ads are fake as shit ! I really hope that they aren't but Idk sometimes the responses just seem fake . I really hope it's real cause that's some funny shit Phone Post
2/27/12 2:50 AM
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JKING
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Good shit! Phone Post
2/27/12 3:19 AM
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Edelweiss
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Funny, but I tend to agree that some are made up. Oh well, still makes me smile. Phone Post
2/27/12 3:23 AM
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Kaerki
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Old but gold, good job op Phone Post
2/27/12 3:55 AM
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shootfightermike
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 lol
2/27/12 4:00 AM
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Fazzle
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TTT Phone Post
2/27/12 4:11 AM
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Da playmaker17
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Sub Phone Post
2/27/12 4:22 AM
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Jaybrone
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 OMFG this is awesome.
2/27/12 4:26 AM
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Jaybrone
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 I haven't read the whole thing but is this the same guy who did the cinderblock post? That shit was awesome.
2/27/12 4:28 AM
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CantHitDaSpida
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this threads better than the guy who shit behind a dumpster thread and that was a damn good thread Phone Post
2/27/12 4:42 AM
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ZeRoTZ
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Posts: 689
Wood Chipper Rental

Posted at: 2009-12-23 11:41:39

Original ad: 670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com $4000 OBO

From Me to ***********@gmail.com:

Hi Joe,

Is the wood chipper still for sale?

Thanks,

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

Yes, I still have the wood chipper.

From Me to Joe ******:

I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

I don't see why not. What are you using it for?

From Me to Joe ******:

Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.

From Me to Joe ******:

Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

.......................................wow. No.

From Me to Joe ******:

Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.

From Me to Joe ******:

I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.

Mike Phone Post

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