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Hawai'i Underground >> if u got problems, u really should ask me for....


5/22/12 5:52 AM
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FCTV808
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advice.

i'm pretty fucking awesomely wise. (and sociopathic)


shoot
5/22/12 6:52 AM
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meatrokket
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I was born with a small weiner. How do I rule the bitches with an iron fist? Phone Post
5/22/12 10:54 AM
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UGCTT_El Pescadero
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meatrokket - I was born with a small weiner. How do I rule the bitches with an iron fist? Phone Post
An iron fist would definitely rule...lol... Rambone and The great American challenge would also help you Satisfy the ladys. Phone Post
5/22/12 1:30 PM
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FCTV808
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meatrokket - I was born with a small weiner. How do I rule the bitches with an iron fist? Phone Post



it depends.

if you're w/ a "normal" civilian, then LAYER CONDOMS. why didn't i ask sooner? i know right?

if you're w/ a professional, tenz unit on their labia.


mahalo
5/22/12 2:19 PM
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UGCTT_El Pescadero
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Lol Phone Post
5/22/12 10:36 PM
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Sgt. Slaphead
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I hate people....please help!
5/23/12 12:09 AM
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JIMMYNAKS
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Deep 1/2 guard for small wiener. It's what I do. Phone Post
5/23/12 4:54 AM
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FCTV808
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Sgt. Slaphead - I hate people....please help!



it's only because you care. stop caring. look at them as food and it starts to become funny.
5/23/12 5:39 AM
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Sgt. Slaphead
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FCTV808 - 
Sgt. Slaphead - I hate people....please help!



it's only because you care. stop caring. look at them as food and it starts to become funny.


I care....therefore I kill?

food?....for rodents and insects, I rather eat goat Mmmmmmm
5/23/12 5:48 AM
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FCTV808
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no think of humans as food. it helps.
5/23/12 6:01 AM
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Sgt. Slaphead
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goats taste better methinks :(
5/23/12 6:21 AM
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FCTV808
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not unless you hate goats more than humans.
5/23/12 3:55 PM
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UGCTT_El Pescadero
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Sgt. Slaphead - goats taste better methinks :(
I heard Sheeple tastes like yum! Phone Post
5/23/12 6:40 PM
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MOB U2
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Dear Fighters' Club advice columnist,

I know this kid. Alright kid, but occasional dumbass. Sometimes I want to straighten his wiseass out but, you know he just got another wiseass answer. Should I just tell him the fuck off, like I'm his father? Cause really I could've been his father - because his mother gave me the most memorable deep throat blowjob of my entire life years ago.

I'm afraid of calling his house because his father might answer and he might've heard about that one drunken night 15 years ago with his current wife.

Signed,
Blowjobbed and Torn.
5/23/12 10:27 PM
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Moke
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Edited: 05/23/12 10:27 PM
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I say ram it down the kid's throat and see if he's as talented as his mother. Either way, he'll shut the fuck up.
5/23/12 10:30 PM
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FCTV808
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Dear MOB U2,

It sounds to me like you're wanting to make contact w/ a bio-son who's failing and adding to your own personal failure.

If you didn't raise him, he's not yours.

It is important however to provide the husband w/ pic of her sucking your cock w/ your face blotted out; just for posterity.

Best wishes, FCTV808
5/23/12 10:42 PM
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sufferingsuckatash
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Moke - I say ram it down the kid's throat and see if he's as talented as his mother. Either way, he'll shut the fuck up.

 tag team whoop whoop
5/24/12 2:38 AM
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fnunderful
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Dear FCTV,

Recently (or not so recently), I find women in my work place more annoying than woman on radio (ex. hudson, linda dela cruz, laura ingram). They all speak in cliche and nervously laugh at everything that they think is wrong with their projects that they think isn't their fault. i listen to their phone conferences that they are supposed to be running and all they do is giggle and joke about things that are wrong with the projects and flirt with suckers on the other side of the planet (trust me these women are fucking disgusting...i wouldn't poke them with Jimmy's dick and SGT taking the blame for it...). How do i dispose of the bodies?

Thanks
5/24/12 3:21 AM
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FCTV808
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fnunderful,

you need to set these wiminz up on romantic dates w/ abusive men. men that will rope them into love, then torture them into insanity.

give them the pills when they want to kill themselves.

just a suggestion.

good luck
5/24/12 3:29 AM
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fnunderful
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I am afraid setting them up with abusive men is not an option. they are too old and too disgusting even for abuse. Is my situation hopeless?


5/24/12 4:04 AM
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FCTV808
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okay then, just get a dropper and add two drops of chlorox bleach to their coffee every morning. it will kill them slowly and start organ failure in a few years.

have fun
5/24/12 4:20 AM
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fnunderful
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what if i brew a whole pot of just coffee and chlorox...will that be faster? i can't wait a few years....
5/24/12 4:21 AM
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fnunderful
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If i have to hear "well, as far as i understand...." one more time i'm going to freak out!
5/24/12 4:43 AM
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FCTV808
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really waiting is only a means to not get caught.
5/31/12 12:36 AM
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MOB U2
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Dearest FCTV808 HG Oracle of Doom,

Much mahalos and shaka braddahs for that sagely advice earlier. It was like mango bread for my soul. If you malihinis don't understand that, try getting a handjob with a 1/2 turn at the frenulum on the upstroke with a wahine that has the lovely hula hands. Just that good and onolicious mmmm.

Anyways, a few weekends ago I was my wife's friends house. Pretty girl but a fucking crazy bitch sometimes. Wearing a flower skirt on a Sunday afternoon probably after church I think. She sat down on a bucket while I was cruising on a lawn chair drinking a beer and I saw her shaved beaver through her black lace panties for a whole 20 minutes we were talking (the angle of the driveaway while she was conversing with the wife and not facing me allowed me the good fortune to watch while pretending to tend to the BBQ). Back in the day when she was drunk she would flirt with me but of course, I don't mess with that shit cuz I don't want problems for myself. Now I really want to plow her ass and snatch with a reciprocating drilldo.

Should I get the ladies drunk and try for a machine-assisted threesome? I don't think it's cheating if I plow my wife and have a DeWalt up her friend's dodohole.

Signed,
Man Who Shares Penis and Power Tools With Good Christian Girls

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