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SupportGround >> Fiance decided we need a part part 2


8/16/12 2:30 PM
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wopyojah
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go to the hockey game. it's tough, man.

i think something more happened that night she came home to you crying.

take the advice here, go out and have fun, get your mind off of the situation with you and your girl. don't talk to her for a while. then sit down at a neutral place and have a deep discussion about your future together.

you will overcome this. it takes time.
8/16/12 2:47 PM
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BaconRage
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wopyojah - go to the hockey game. it's tough, man.

i think something more happened that night she came home to you crying.

take the advice here, go out and have fun, get your mind off of the situation with you and your girl. don't talk to her for a while. then sit down at a neutral place and have a deep discussion about your future together.

you will overcome this. it takes time.

I just shot her a text, she said she'd meet me in a week
8/16/12 3:21 PM
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mr biggelsworth
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Why bother meeting her in a week?
8/16/12 3:27 PM
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BaconRage
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mr biggelsworth - Why bother meeting her in a week?

 Talk it out I guess, the problem isn't with us and even though it might seem stupid I want to try and show her that.  I can't just throw the last four years of my life away I'm sorry, I have to go down swinging
8/16/12 3:43 PM
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egundy
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Ok we tried. Good luck man.



8/16/12 3:46 PM
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BaconRage
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Nothings happening today, this is all just happening so fast.  My world came crashing down. 
8/16/12 4:18 PM
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Gerbacio
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BaconRage - 
mr biggelsworth - Why bother meeting her in a week?

 Talk it out I guess, the problem isn't with us and even though it might seem stupid I want to try and show her that.  I can't just throw the last four years of my life away I'm sorry, I have to go down swinging

it makes sense you dont have any friends in real life.....dude SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT !!!

you are setting yourself up for getting assrailed even worste than you are atm...

have some dignity...i went thru a similar situation like you when i was 20 ....I LOVE MY FRIENDS...

i remember feeling lost and that i needed her back so bad or i was gonna die! thank God my friends where there for me and talked to me and took me out .. (for me the go in a fucking rampage didnt worked ) but time did ....after a while i started feeling better and once i was out of the situation , months passed and i started looking back and even thou i felt like a food i was so thankfull that i listened to my friends and moved on.

Last thing i told her when she dumped me was "you will never find anyone like me" ....i went changed my cell phone, stopped hanging with mutual friends and switched jobs ....i moved on..she called my home and i NEVER talked to her again ...you had a chance and you decided to play the Cold hearted bitch card ...

time passed and she got married to her manager...she seeemed to control him from what my customers that went to the gym with them said and that he was a retarded looking dude (i also moved gyms, i re did my life) the dude cheated on her while they where married and got the other girl pregnant at the same time as her....

Im happy as fuck with my wife , she is the greatest women ive ever met and treats our kids like they should be ...im loved and happier than i ever been.... looking back i laugh and feel super happy that i moved on, even thou i didnt wished any bad on her....life got her back


Move on...switch gyms, change your cell....close your facebook for a few months ....do different stuff , hang with different people ....MOVE ON

You might not want to see it now but she is fucking her boss and other people ...she might feel at home with you but she dosnt love you , you are a safe blanket to fall on...have self respect man.

I have the rule of 1 ....once i breakup with a girl or she breaks up with me ...i move on ...i did the rollercoaster thing ONE TIME and looking at all my friends after the first breakeup it was a downhill battle in wich they Lost every single time.....i did the right thing and life has proved me right ....im happy and in love with the mother of my children and the most wonderfull women a man can dream off .....my revenge to my shit exes!! im happy and its awesome!
8/16/12 4:21 PM
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CrazyJoeDavola
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 I've done the kick the can down the road routine.  It doesn't change the inevitable, it only prolongs it and makes it even harder.  The sooner you realize and act on this, the better you'll be, and sooner you'll heal. 
8/16/12 4:29 PM
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MarsMan
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JoeBoxer212 - She needs to get into counseling asap. And you both should find a good premarital counselor. A lot of times women will blame themselves for losing a baby in term and all sorts of guilt, shame, blame make them feel that something is wrong with them.

As for the boss, I doubt anyone would kill for him. Sounds like a predator. But your fiance is living in a lot of fear and shame. Need to deal with those issues.


LOL...stop trolling!
8/16/12 4:40 PM
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PatK
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Drug fueled orgy with co-workers sounds awesome. Are they hiring?

If my g/f came in and said something like that happening, I would be giving her boss a serious talking to ASAP.

Too many holes in her story.

8/16/12 4:42 PM
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Leigh
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PatK - Drug fueled orgy with co-workers sounds awesome. Are they hiring?

If my g/f came in and said something like that happening, I would be giving her boss a serious talking to ASAP.

Too many holes in her story.


He can't talk to the boss cos then the boss would have people come kill her
8/16/12 4:54 PM
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YoungGunABKJ
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brother i know how you feel, my wife of 8yrs left me in june and we are divorcing. it is hard, i still dont like it or want it but we are on 2 diff paths at the moment, i dont know what you believe in but i have my faith in God and he is c'ing me through this. pm me if u want and ill get ur num if u wanna talk

non timebo mala

Lamentations 3:31-32 For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men.


John 14:16-18 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.”I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you…”


Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/20-bible-verses-to-comfort-the-hurting/#ixzz23kEHSJan
8/16/12 8:07 PM
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Dark Knight
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I have a similar story.

Her story is not right, she banged someone and realized she screwed up but wont admit it to you.

We have all been through it, its tough but you have to move on.
8/17/12 8:08 AM
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LiveWire
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cthlcschlgrl - 
BaconRage -  I'm supposed to play hockey tonight, I'm on a team with my brother and guys I play football with.  I ithnk the distraction will be good but on the other hand I just want to sit on the couch I don't know how useful I'll be anyway

  You should absolutely go and not sit at home on the couch.

You NEED distractions and this is a perfect one as you will be surrounded by friends and family.

  She's 100% right. You need to be out living life no matter how much you want to sit home and dwell on things.

 I read where you said you weren't good at making friends. It's time to force yourself out of your comfort zone and start making friends at your gym or jj school or wherever you train.

 I said this in the other thread too, but you need to start preparing yourself mentally for when the truth comes either from her telling you what really happened or through your own discernment when you think back and realize certain things she's said or did start to make sense in a different context.

 It's tough man, I understand. Almost every person been through something similiar. So you're not alone. But in the real world you need to start making connections to other people to help you get through it.
8/17/12 9:34 AM
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RML
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 I went through the same thing with a girl.. we were going to get married.. then it ended abruptly.. 

I dragged things out.. made it more painful than it should've been.  You need to do a clean break and stop all contact.  It sounds hard.. but I wish I did it.  In hindsight dragging it out made it way worse than it had to be.

Years down the road I'm not happily married to another woman.  Shit gets better.  Trust me.. it gets so much better.
8/17/12 3:32 PM
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BaconRage
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 Well, I guess it's over, she's giving me the ring back tomorrow.  Last night was kind of nuts, she always got along great with my mom they would talk on the phone and hangout when I wasn't around al tha crap a real mother in law/daughter in law would do.  My mom called her she didn't answer (I knew she wouldn't she was with her uncle's family)  But she called back and they talked for like a half hour.  My mom reported back to me that she still loved me she just needs space, she is really low right now.  She texted me after the phone call saying sorry and feel better.

Everything looked like it was going to work out right?

This morning I texted her morning babe like I have everyday for the last 4 years.  She writes back good morning but drop the babe.  (I'll skip the meaning-less texts)  She then tells me the owner is taking all the managers out for drinks tonight because they launched something for the web site, well she's a manager and so is her boss.

So I said don't do that you deleted your facebook, twitter, changed your number just so no one could find you anymore and now you're going to go out with him there?  It's all just going to happen again.  She said Rich and a few other managers are going to be there and this is at a restaruant not someones house I'll be fine.

I said why put yourself through that again?  He's still going to be all over you.  She said this is life and I'm living it. 

Now even though we're not together anymore I still care about her and don't want to see her get hurt so I tell her to just be careful about date rape drugs how they can be put in anything etc.  No response.

She just texted me asking if I was going to be home after 5 (when she gets off of work) Maybe she wants to talk it out?  Nope she just wants her bowling ball I said idk I might golf she said that's fine I'll grab it tomorrow at noon and that she has plans.  I said I'll come home (hoping I can change her mind about going) I ask if we can talk about it?  She says she doesn't have time.  I said I still want to change your mind she said that's not going to happen.  I said you always said if we were going to break up she would do it face to face, because I always said I would text it, it's easier.  She said we're already broken up.  I said you owe me atleast some answers we need a face to face she said fine.  So I guess tomorrow at lunch time I atleast hope to close some doors.

Right now I kind of feel nothing?  It's a weird feeling  I'm still sad don't get me wrong.  Now I just look to the future and wonder what I'm going to do?  I'm not sure how I'm going to fill the hours
8/17/12 3:48 PM
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BaconRage
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I asked what happened between Monday and Tuesday, she said fine I'll tell you I met someone
8/17/12 4:11 PM
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BaconRage
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 Went over her house on Tuesday everything was normal.  She blew me like a champ.  We talked about having a girlfriend in the past.  We were talking about how gross crotches were, guys and girls.  Don't remember how we got on the topic but the girlfriend thing came back up and she said no, only she could.  I said that doesn't seem fair but it died out and went back to normal.  Now she's telling me she got to know someone on Tuesday (we texted all day, and she wasn't working at the time).  It's either bull shit so I won't chace her or she met a girl imo, either way it worked.  Don't know why but I'm ok with all of this, even if it is a guy.  She has no hobbies outside of bowling so I'm never going to see her unless it's up there by mistake and the leagues we bowl in are on different days so.
8/17/12 4:19 PM
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tubuku01
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And that dude was her boss. She fucked him but didnt want you to know so she said all he did was feel her up and she resisted. Shit hurts AND it sucks but if you she stayed with you, the trust wouldve been shot. Like everyone said, women dont just "need a break" unless they met someone else. I and many other ogers have been through exactly the same thing, so youre in good hands for advice.

I had a friend like you that busted his wife cheating, but begged, cried and nagged her into staying in the relationship. Dude could not let her go. Several years later, they have 4 kids, 2 look like her ex (korean) and 2 look like him. She goes out to party while he stays home with the kids and she'll walk in around 7 in the morning looking like she just got fucked. We tried talking to him but he refused to believe us until he just cut all his friends out of his life,only to call us crying that his wife hasnt come home.

Did you honestly want to be that guy? Work out, enjoy life and the right woman will walk in when you least expect it. Until that happens, fuck as many as you can. Im 39 years old and have lived/seen alot of shit so i (like many on the og) am here if you need someone to talk to.

Stay strong brother
8/17/12 4:25 PM
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egundy
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Listen to me, I got no reason to lie to you, don't make the same mistakes I made when I was young. Fuck a lotta women kid, not just one woman, a lotta women.
8/17/12 4:28 PM
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BaconRage
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 I really don't want her back right now, I'm sure there are going to be hard times where I'm dying again but what are you going to do?  Right now all I want from her (besides the ring which I'm getting tomorrow) are answers.  And some of you are going to want to know whay, and I really don't have an answer just the way I am.

She just told me that all of last Friday was a lie and that she was out on her own, and she will be again tonight.  Idk if I believe it or not.  Doesn;t matter either way.

The whole thing is just such a mind fuck it really is. 

This morning I was saying to my mom I hope she comes back to our house like last week.  I hope I'm getting my hopes up.

Right now I'd kick her ass to the curb.

I don't know if she's finally telling the truth or lying through her teeth to try and hurt me, like I've said a few times this post.  Doesn't matter anymore
8/17/12 4:29 PM
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BaconRage
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 The only problem is I really suck at teh sex :/ meeting someone new I'm going to be a one pump chump again
8/17/12 4:50 PM
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Leigh
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Many of us have been where you are. I know I have. You want closure and we get that but you are unlikely to get truthful answers from her. She already admitted she lied about everything, so you know she's a liar. She will say whatever she has to get the results she wants. Liars have no shame and will just spew bollocks the whole time.

As hard as it is, get the ring and don't contact her again. Do you need to know the details of a random girl's cheating? No, and in time this girl will just be a random nobody.

Regarding your insecurity at meeting someone else, that can be really common. Educate yourself on game. I am 100% honest in that you can and will meet a FAR better girl if put the effort in to improving your game. There are a number of guys on this site that can help you
8/17/12 4:55 PM
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BaconRage
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 ^ Thanks Leigh, I think I'm just going to have my mom get the ring from her.  There really is no point in seeing her.

And I was thinking about making a thread about helping my game, but I'm not ready for that yet.
8/17/12 5:02 PM
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Leigh
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Cool, if you can avoid seeing her, that would be even better. Sounds like you're on the right path

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