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HolyGround >> question bout divorce.


10/20/12 6:14 PM
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YoungGunABKJ
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my wife divorced me, so if i remarry is that a sin?

i dont believe it is, it says if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace” (I Cor 7:15).
10/22/12 4:53 PM
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zealot66
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 Why did she divorce you ? That would add perspective to the question.

10/22/12 4:53 PM
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zealot66
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BTW, if we really enforce Jesus's teachings on divorce, we'd have to kick half the church out on the street and force people back with their original mates. Take a bit out of that...Crazy.

10/23/12 1:34 PM
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770mdm
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Based upon the statement in Deuteronomy (24:1), which states that when a man wants to divorce his wife, "then let him write her a bill of divorcement,"  Proper witnesses must be present at the time of the writing of the document and at its delivery.

Marriage in Judaism is considered a holy act and a divorce is considered an unholy act.  Jewish law permits divorce as an unfortunate necessity. 

Granting divorce in the ancient world was a giant leap in womens rights.  As then as is now, if the dynamics between and husband & wife are irreconcilable and divorce is the only option it should be taken.  To be forced into an unhappy life is unholy and we shouldn't just hand out divorce papers at the slightest hint of incompatibility we should revive the people into new marriages that Are holy because it is not good for man (humanity) to be alone.

 

10/25/12 6:28 PM
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DyingBreed
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YoungGunABKJ - my wife divorced me, so if i remarry is that a sin?

i dont believe it is, it says if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace” (I Cor 7:15).
You are fine. Same situation with me, only my unbelieving wife also cheated on me which made it pretty guiltless on my part.


But I've also learned a little more about Hebrew culture and the subtle nuances of Jesus and his teaching. Marital unfaithfulness is much much more than just cheating.


Gotta dig in the Greek and Hebrew bru :)




Sorry that your marriage didn't work, but I'm sure you're happy, right? Phone Post
10/25/12 6:48 PM
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YoungGunABKJ
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she said one day she wasnt in love with me anymore.

and yes breed honestly i have never been better mind, body and soul
10/25/12 8:31 PM
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zealot66
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Then move on and dont worry about what christians say. She left you. Some people would hold you to your marraige but If a unbeliever wants to depart, let them depart. you are under no bondage.

10/25/12 9:24 PM
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DyingBreed
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zealot66 -

Then move on and dont worry about what christians say. She left you. Some people would hold you to your marraige but If a unbeliever wants to depart, let them depart. you are under no bondage.

^ Phone Post
11/2/12 9:50 PM
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micmac
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zealot66 -

BTW, if we really enforce Jesus's teachings on divorce, we'd have to kick half the church out on the street and force people back with their original mates. Take a bit out of that...Crazy.

This. I would agree with others on this thread that you are not sinning in a future marriage, but truly I don't think it matters. We are all sinners and your intent was not to divorce. God bless. Phone Post
11/3/12 4:13 AM
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thedogofdogs
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i think you are fine in the eyes of God.

11/4/12 11:17 AM
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YoungGunABKJ
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thanks guys, i truely do feel better about it.
last string has been cut with her
11/27/12 11:17 AM
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CJJScout
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Good to go, bro. Sucks, the Lord is a big fan of marriage and never wants them to break apart.
12/11/12 1:38 PM
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figure four
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was she ever a believer? Then no! you can't divorce.

You took her as your wife, which at one point she was a believer. There is no way around it - you can't marry again until she dies... you have to stay faithful to your left hand...
12/11/12 1:43 PM
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figure four
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http://incmedia.org/wpmedia/videos/gods-design-for-marriage
12/12/12 5:42 AM
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DyingBreed
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figure four - was she ever a believer? Then no! you can't divorce.

You took her as your wife, which at one point she was a believer. There is no way around it - you can't marry again until she dies... you have to stay faithful to your left hand...
What if she is no longer a believer? Or better yet, just said she was, but wasn't.


Also marital unfaithfulness Is a much broader concept than just cheating Phone Post
1/7/13 9:47 AM
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5pointer
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i am about to divorce my wife/been married over 10 years/we knew eachother for 9 weeks before we wed. we fight all the friggin time/we honestly cannot stand eachother/i cant fathom being with her the rest of my life.
1/8/13 11:21 PM
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colubrid1
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DyingBreed - 
figure four - was she ever a believer? Then no! you can't divorce.

You took her as your wife, which at one point she was a believer. There is no way around it - you can't marry again until she dies... you have to stay faithful to your left hand...
What if she is no longer a believer? Or better yet, just said she was, but wasn't.


Also marital unfaithfulness Is a much broader concept than just cheating Phone Post

If you really beleive she was a beleiver then you have to wait until she commits adultery or gets remarried. That marriage would also be adultery as it would be an adulterous relationship. Doesn't matter if they have kids from that or are married for 50 years. God will never see that union as anything but an adulterous relationship.

If she gets remarried God will not recognize that marriage and sees it only as an aduterous relationship. If she was never saved to begin with then God does not care about what she does anyway. Marriage is a 3-way covenant between 2 beleivers and God. Marrige is not for people who don't beleive in Him anyway. Why would anyone (espcially a man) want to enter into His covenant when they don't even beleive in God i will never understand.


I don't think one can lose their salvation from getting a divorce. That is the worng question. The question is wre they saved to begin with? So then, if you married an unbeleiver.. you were disobedient to God because he forbids a beleiver to marry an unbeleiver. So you should repent from that and then move on and next time make sure she is saved.

This is what i think. If your wife is saved. God will only let her go so far before He chastises her. Because He chastises those that belong to Him and those He loves. If she is saved she will realize what she is doing and repent and come back to you and ask for your forgiveness and beg you for reconciliation. IF she is saved she knows she cannot remarry ever and her only hope is to reconcile with her husband in the Lord. If she waited to long or she commited adultery it is up to you to forgive her . which i would think is very easy to forgive someone who earnestly repents as why wouldn't you since god forgave you. If you do not forgive her and reconcile or you already got remarried because she waied so long that you assumed she was not saved. Then she has to stay single her whole life and cannot get remarried...this scenario is highly unlikly beause she waited so long to repnt and she would use the "I just got saved for reals this time" playing card. So now i am free to remarry.

Why do you think when Jesus explained marriage to the apostles they said who then can get married? (Matthew 19:10).,. they understood how hard His teaching was because they wanted divorce. Marriage is for life and divorce is not the impardonable sin. It is a sin you can repent of but that means not only saying i am sorry to God, as with other sins and say i won't do it agian. But repent means to go back to your spouse. Without repentance then there is no hope for a beleiver. Or rather they are not a beleiever. Tough call for someone who is saved . However, i would think that after waiting for months leading up to a divorce proceding a beleiver has plenty of time to realize and repent. if they have a heart for god tehy would repent and go back to their sopouse and reconcile.

You cannot get angry with someone and get a divorce decree next week or even next month. It takes a long time. The procedure takes legal procedures,hiring lawyers, division of property, child custody, sveral court hearings, ect.. It takes Months! So I would say that person who intiates a divorce for anything besides infedility and goes through with it was never saved to begin with and you are free-FREE FREE! Matter of fact you are commanded to let the unbeleiver go under those circumstances. So let her go. God wants you to live in peace.

1/8/13 11:32 PM
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colubrid1
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DyingBreed - 
YoungGunABKJ - my wife divorced me, so if i remarry is that a sin?

i dont believe it is, it says if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace” (I Cor 7:15).
You are fine. Same situation with me, only my unbelieving wife also cheated on me which made it pretty guiltless on my part.


But I've also learned a little more about Hebrew culture and the subtle nuances of Jesus and his teaching. Marital unfaithfulness is much much more than just cheating.


Gotta dig in the Greek and Hebrew bru :)




Sorry that your marriage didn't work, but I'm sure you're happy, right? Phone Post

"But I've also learned a little more about Hebrew culture and the subtle nuances of Jesus and his teaching. Marital unfaithfulness is much much more than just cheating."

My paster was a former rabbi in jerusalem and after he converted they put wanted posters all over israel and a hit on his life. he is fluent in hebrew and also anceint greek as well as an expert on historical jewish history, saysing and customs. James Mcdonald and John McArthur refer to him for help. with all that backround he would say that the only reason for divorce is the actual phsyiccal act of adultery.

Otherwise we might as well all get divorced for lusting with our eyes or not holding up to our roles in marriage. There would be a million excues for divorce. Part of the plan is to live with a sinner and learn to forgive as god forgives us. Even in the case of adultery. if one is repentant I would think we should forgive. not so with unrepentant adultery however. which a true beleiver would not do anyway.

With two belivers and the covenant with God there is no real reason why anyone would get divorced or ever want to get a divorce..or even consider it . the problem today is people are not saved to begin with and that is where the confusion is over the legalistic views of divorce. God don't care what te unsaved do with reagrds to marriage and divorce. Just because one says they are christian or goes to church does not mean they are christian.

1/8/13 11:39 PM
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colubrid1
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Fo some being 'Christian" is primaritly cultural and traditional, a nominal title inherited from a previous generation, the net effect of which involves certain behaviors and occsionally attending church.
For others , being a Christian is largly political, a quest to defend moral values in the public square or perhaps to preserve those values by withdrawing from the public square altogether. Still more define Christianity in terms of a past releigious experience, a general belief in Jesus, or a desire to be a good person. Yet all of these fall woefully short of what it truly means to be a Christian from a biblical perspective.
1/30/13 11:10 AM
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AVClub
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Love this topic.

Please help me understand where I go wrong with my attitude on the Big D.

Jesus was addressing a cultural condition where men would whimsically and carelessy divorce their wives, essentially putting them on the street (in today's terms). Women were still held in low regard amongst the Jews, especially divorced mothers. That's why Jesus was always elevating the value of women. Jesus was emphasizing the sacredness and commitment that God wanted from men towards their wives. He addresses this with the hardness of heart comment.

Also, Jesus says "Haven't you read in the beginning God created Adam and Even". Again, Jesus was elevating the value of women and smashing cultural attitudes about women. This is also a good argument against gay marriage or homosexuality - he was confirming man & woman. More on that later.

In my opinion, Jesus was saying if you're you don't take your marriage seriously and cherish your wife as you've been instructed, then you are adulterous.

Like you, my wife left me. She would not consider staying, counseling, or anything. She made up her mind it was over and she started the ball rolling. sadly, she is a Jesus follower. I can certainly look back on times when I could see how she could feel hopeless, but divorce should be avoided at all costs. God takes the family very seriously and He would prefer that we work our butts off to make it work and fix it if it gets broken.

 

 

 

 

 

1/30/13 11:20 AM
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AVClub
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colubrid1 - Fo some being 'Christian" is primaritly cultural and traditional, a nominal title inherited from a previous generation, the net effect of which involves certain behaviors and occsionally attending church.
For others , being a Christian is largly political, a quest to defend moral values in the public square or perhaps to preserve those values by withdrawing from the public square altogether. Still more define Christianity in terms of a past releigious experience, a general belief in Jesus, or a desire to be a good person. Yet all of these fall woefully short of what it truly means to be a Christian from a biblical perspective.

The message series' from my pastor over the last year and half have shaken me to my core and reshaped how I view the world and how I respond to things as a Jesus follower.

I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down here. Would love to talk more about it.

1/30/13 5:04 PM
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YoungGunABKJ
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ttt
3/31/13 6:03 PM
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colubrid1
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Edited: 03/31/13 6:04 PM
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QUOTE:
"Like you, my wife left me. She would not consider staying, counseling, or anything. "

Statistics say that over 90% of divorces filed in the US are by woman.






QUOTE:
"She made up her mind it was over and she started the ball rolling. sadly, she is a Jesus follower. I can certainly look back on times when I could see how she could feel hopeless, but divorce should be avoided at all costs. God takes the family very seriously and He would prefer that we work our butts off to make it work and fix it if it gets broken."

If she is a Christain she can repent. She does not have to go to hell. All she has to do is agree with God and try and reconcile with you. igf you do not take her back or if you moved on with another family, she has to stay single for the rest of her life.

But most people who file divorce and go thru with it do not have the Holy Spirit and do not have a heart for God. So really the whole repentance thing after the fact is really a mute point. We can safley assume such a person is not saved and tehrefore is to be treated as an unbeleiver.


You have ignored this user.
3/31/13 8:53 PM
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zealot66
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How about people just stay with the person they are married to instead of trying to figure out how far back our sins go? If you are a divorced and remarried christian, why would you leave your current wife to go back to the first one. 

For that matter, in some cultures, if you screw somebody you are now married and responsible for her. Maybe the holier than thou's should go back to the first person they slept with and 'get right with God'. 

 

3/31/13 11:17 PM
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colubrid1
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"If you are a divorced and remarried christian, why would you leave your current wife to go back to the first one?"

Not sure if this hits a nerve or you are being serious with this quetsion?


You said:
"If you are a divorced and remarried christian"

???????????????
I don't get this statement. It is not possible to divorce you spouse and remarry. If you do then God looks at that relationship as an adulterous reltionship. Period. Does not matter how many years passed and /or how many kids you have with them. You need to repent. problem is I don't think that person is saved. And if the victim of the divorce is saved. They need to repent for marrying an unbeliver. Because God forbids that as well. So with that action of marrying an unbeleiver. there is also conseqences. Like losing your house, children, having to deal with a new daddy in their lives. ect.

What i am saying is that if YOU divorce your wife for any reason besides her unfaithfulness and you are saved.. Lets say for example, you are annoyed with her. So you get a divorce. I beleive that God will chastize those that belong to Him and will only let you go so far before it is to late. If you went ahead with the divorce (which takes a hck of a long time because of teh courts, lawyers ect) And your heart is that hard. You are probably not a Christian.


My ex is remarried. She claims to be a Christian. She cheated on me during the marriage and then had a child with the man she is married to now. She never repented. She never begged to come back. She just says god forgives her. Well, I would call her one of the many unsaved-saved whos god is their own imagination. There are many of these unsaved-saved evangelical churches who do not teach repentance and obedience as part or our being postionally saved. They teach that our sanctification is a seperate issue from being postionally saved. When in fact Paul says in Romans they go hand in hand. If yoiu are saved. you are sanctified and Holy. There is no such thing as a "Back-slidden" christian. or if one says they "stopped growing". LOL! How does one "STOP" growing? None of these terms are are biblical. They are churchy evangelical saying we see and hear today to permit sin. People love their sin. They do not want to give it up. the truth is scripture is hard on the ears. People do not want to hear it. They just want to hear about gods love and forgivness.

I don't know if you undrtand this next statement because i do not have time right now to write a bunch and explain it. But with love there is an opposite. If you love something you have to hate the other. There is Gods wrath, we die, there is a hell and God did not have His son mudered so we can continue in sin. Repent Repent repent! That is what makes us Christian. Our repentence and obedeince> That is the evidence that we are saved.

Or you can just get annoyed with your spouse and divorce them. because God will forgive you without you repenting! NOT!!!! HA HA! I was joking.. HOW CAN DIVORCE BRING GLORY TO GOD? He will not forgive those who do not repent. That is IF you are actually a saved christain...(which i doubt is even possible for a truely saved christian to carry forth through a divorce). That is spritual pride at its highest form because you are saying that "you are a bigger sinner than me and I have a right to disown you". Divorce is not like murder, stealing ect. You can repent and easily undo it. Simply go back to your spouse if you are saved. You entered into a 3-way covenant WITH God. Not a 2 way.



What if God disowned us when we greatly sinned? So what did Jesus mean? Jesus taught that it is a sin for a man to divorce his wife and marry another. This is adultery. The same holds true for a woman who divorces her husband and marries another man. It is evil. Divorce is a sin. Many women who file for divorce say : "He has had plenty of chances" That is sinful pride. What if God said that about you? You would be in hell and so would I. The bible plainly teaches that our heart cannot be trusted. We are warned that God ponders (studies) our heart's, thoughts and intents and He cannot be fooled.

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