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UnderGround Forums >> What do you do when a girl attacks?


12/6/12 9:38 AM
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john joe
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Fighters Only, web monkey
if she is a lot smaller and weaker than you, fight her

otherwise run away or fall to floor and make yourself look too pathetic to continue hitting
12/6/12 9:46 AM
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Voodoo
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stevekt - Touch boobies but make it look like an accident.

Great answer, I love the UG.
12/6/12 10:36 AM
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MMAologist
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Yell "You goin to JAIL now!!" in an old black man's voice and Tiger uppercut her. Then tell her in the same old black man's voice "if you goin to ack like a man, I'm goin treatcha like won". Then throw her off the bus Phone Post
12/6/12 10:37 AM
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e. kaye
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Blunderhooks -  Kick her in the cunt.

I assume it doesn't hurt as much as being kicked in the balls, but it's worth a try. Phone Post

Actually it hurts quite a bit.   BTDT

12/6/12 10:38 AM
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ConditJustGSPeedHisPants
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I'll smack the chick hard. Look around to notice all the other man around coming at me. Slowly back up questioning them how can she slap. Than brace myself for the beat down of a lifetime. Phone Post
12/6/12 10:38 AM
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e. kaye
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Carry pepper spray.

12/6/12 10:38 AM
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ConditJustGSPeedHisPants
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MMAologist - Yell "You goin to JAIL now!!" in an old black man's voice and Tiger uppercut her. Then tell her in the same old black man's voice "if you goin to ack like a man, I'm goin treatcha like won". Then throw her off the bus Phone Post
This will work too. Phone Post
12/6/12 10:41 AM
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flip_guard
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Depends if she is Hot or Not!!!
12/6/12 10:44 AM
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XxLiveBaitxX
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Edited: 12/06/12 10:44 AM
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Say to her "If you're coming on, COME ON!!"

Can't go wrong with a Harold Howard somersault kick.
12/6/12 11:04 AM
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UGCTT croy_00
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Fuck that, not this shit. Some chick straight up kicked me in the back of the head while I was sitting down because I was talking to her older sister. When she kept swinging I tried to gently take her down to calm her down. She put her hand out to brace herself, and dislocated her pinky. I was made out to be the asshole, despite the fact I didn't use any of my Jiu-Jitsu or Taekwondo. Phone Post
12/6/12 11:10 AM
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microMx
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osoto-gari in pavement
12/6/12 11:12 AM
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UGCTT_Fraser_Finlay
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In Phone Post
12/6/12 11:13 AM
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Calavaro
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Upper body control with double overhooks - aka bear hug.

If that fails, CroCop style push and duck away.

If she still is coming, vocalise that you are going to jab her. Proceed to airjab in rapid manner.

If that fails, teeps - hard.

Is she is a wannabe Ronda, mata leon. Vocalise loud that she'll be fine, she's just passing out.

tl;dr. Cock out.

12/6/12 11:19 AM
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DOODE
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I usually stay on the OG but wondered over here and saw this thread.





Did not disappoint.
12/6/12 11:21 AM
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Osiris_431
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A smaller woman:

Arm drag
Take the back
?
Profit

Cris Cyborg:

Accept your fate. Phone Post
12/6/12 11:23 AM
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cheesesteak
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12/6/12 11:27 AM
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Tolstolobic
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Go into the clinch and take her on he ground
She will change her mind quickly, trust me Phone Post
12/6/12 11:28 AM
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ChaosOverkill
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restrain her and let her whine

12/6/12 11:29 AM
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Hadoukenkieran
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Mates ex came at me with vodka bottle. Controlled the wrist. She kicked, I tripped her but didn't let her drop then I sat on her belly till she ran out of energy. Phone Post
12/6/12 11:35 AM
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Roy Batty
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Sakuraba-style ankle-pick into a heel-hook.
12/6/12 11:36 AM
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MountainMedic
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Stop drop& roll son, stop drop & roll. Phone Post
12/6/12 11:42 AM
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Mclay won my SN
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JakodaRay - Growing in a rather...dysfunctional family I often got into fights with my female family members. I'd just take them down and yell at them to stop if they ever attacked me. This one time, I nearly hit my sister because she ripped up my Ryan Giggs shirt, but somehow I stayed composed.
If my sister had done that to me I'd have drawn blood,that's some good restraint there mate.What sane person tears up a giggsy shirt? Phone Post
12/6/12 11:56 AM
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cWa
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Stone Cold Stunner!

Any guys around will enjoy seeing it
The girl will think WTF happened
Chances are high that someone will toss you a beer to crush. Phone Post
12/6/12 12:16 PM
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big_josh
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If she's hot I'll giver her the rear naked poke.

12/6/12 12:36 PM
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chawkins
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The serious answer to this question - at least in America - is "nothing".

If a female attacks a male, there is literally nothing that the male can do that will no land him in jail.

Hit back? Even if it's open-and-shut self-defense, when the cops show up YOU will be arrested for domestic battery and she will be told "oh you poor thing, let us call you an ambulance".

Hold her? When the cops show up YOU will be arrested for domestic battery (and possibly unlawful detention as well) and again for her it will be "oh you poor thing" even if she was swinging a fucking bat at your head.

Block her blows? Good luck. If she injured her little hands on your big bad forearms, when the cops show up YOU will be arrested and they will pat her on the head, "oh you poor thing" once again.

If you are a man in ANY kind of conflict with a female in this country, you are fucked. The police are on her side, automatically. The criminal, civil, and family court systems are on her side, automatically. The laws that the various legislative bodies write are on her side, automatically. "Innocent until proven guilty" does not exist if you are a man in any kind of conflict with a woman, particularly a physical conflict.

The government has done it's level best to emasculate you in these scenarios and remove even your basic right to defend yourself. And it's done a pretty good job of it.

So if you're attacked by a female and you do NOT want to go to jail, your best bet is to just walk away, preferably someplace where there may be witnesses, and keep your hands to yourself. The law is stacked so heavily against you that a woman could literally end your life and every authority out there will assume that you had it coming somehow.

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