UnderGround Forums
 

GeekGround >> Can we make a worse Spidey story than Marvel?


1/10/13 10:01 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
The_Pundits_Fluffer_III
75 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 6/14/10
Posts: 10284
 

Let's try to make a Spider-Man story worse than anything Marvel has done. I think if we combine all of our talents we can possibly do it. Maybe someone (Probably Steven Dillon) will produce some equally bad art with it, and then we can all get hired as Marvel's next big thing?

 

1/11/13 4:15 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
GriffinQ
127 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 10/17/09
Posts: 8210
But how can we write a Spidey comment wiithout simultaneously reading said comic, and thus breaking the Pact!?!?


1/11/13 9:01 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
torquemada
268 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 1/15/06
Posts: 8995
The pact says rewarding marvel by paying them is a violation. Phone Post
1/11/13 9:54 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
BigWilliam
257 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 3/7/05
Posts: 19881
Ok, first off he has to have sudden memories that Uncle Ben, his inspiration, his reason for becoming a hero in fact, molested him as a child. And Aunt May watched and filmed the whole thing.
1/11/13 10:04 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
RedDragonUK
389 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 8/2/05
Posts: 38667
Because of this in high school he was meek and bullied by Flash Thompson. His boyfriend Harry Osborn payed Gwen Stacy to act as Peters girlfriend to protect him. One day peter went to Osborns lab so both he and Harry could tell father Norman about their love.... Phone Post
1/11/13 10:12 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
tubuku01
8 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 1/7/03
Posts: 2139
in as long as that dude that drew the gomi head does the art!
1/11/13 11:45 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
paw
1361 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Edited: 01/11/13 11:47 AM
Member Since: 1/1/01
Posts: 32557
Big William - Ok, first off he has to have sudden memories that Uncle Ben, his inspiration, his reason for becoming a hero in fact, molested him as a child. And Aunt May watched and filmed the whole thing.
RedDragonUK -  Because of this in high school he was meek and bullied by Flash Thompson. His boyfriend Harry Osborn payed Gwen Stacy to act as Peters girlfriend to protect him. One day peter went to Osborns lab so both he and Harry could tell father Norman about their love.... Phone Post


But Norman is admant that the two can never be together!  Norman finally confesses to the teens that he is Peter's biological father having an extensive affair with Peter's mother - and Aunt May filmed the whole thing.

 

1/11/13 2:07 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
torquemada
268 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 1/15/06
Posts: 8998
He's already been molested. Keep going. Phone Post
1/11/13 2:14 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
venomAA
40 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 12/21/12
Posts: 11
Peter discovers that Harry is actually half a clone of Peter and half a clone of Norman made by Professor Warren. And that Aunt may filmed the whole thing.
1/11/13 2:31 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
BIGWHITESEXY
1016 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 12/20/05
Posts: 36525

AUNT MAY IS REALLY THE CHAMELEON PLANTED TO BE IN PETERS LIFE AT BIRTH BY NORMAN OSBORN TO CONTROL HIS LIFE.   AND SHE/HE FILMED THE WHOLE THING.  

1/11/13 2:49 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
The_Pundits_Fluffer_III
75 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 6/14/10
Posts: 10286

Ben Parker was selling the kiddie porn of Peter to make money on the black market. We find out that he was not really killed by the burglar that Peter let go during the wrestling event, but it was the Punisher who was out hunting pedos.

After this revelation Peter turns to drinking, and has to go to AA meetings with Tony Stark and Flash after a drunk web-swinging incident where he crashes into a van carrying Cobra Commander's family (and he frames Snake-Eyes uncle.) The AA meetings are done in costume and Peter's sponsor is Volstagg who does a very poor job.

1/11/13 2:57 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
Alger Hiss
113 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 11/22/05
Posts: 10305
The_Pundits_Fluffer_III - 

Ben Parker was selling the kiddie porn of Peter to make money on the black market. We find out that he was not really killed by the burglar that Peter let go during the wrestling event, but it was the Punisher who was out hunting pedos.

After this revelation Peter turns to drinking, and has to go to AA meetings with Tony Stark and Flash after a drunk web-swinging incident where he crashes into a van carrying Cobra Commander's family (and he frames Snake-Eyes uncle.) The AA meetings are done in costume and Peter's sponsor is Volstagg who does a very poor job.


Holy fuck, I laughed for a good 20 seconds at that, very rare form from Zeno these days!
1/11/13 3:38 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
Calebcb
108 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 1/9/06
Posts: 1204
Meanwhile, in the present day, Miles Morales crosses over in to 616 and starts a relationship with MJ, banging her every night while the ghost of Peter looks on helplessly. And Mephisto films the whole thing while The Watcher narrates.
1/11/13 8:43 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
YVEL MACHIDA
375 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 6/10/12
Posts: 6600
BigWilliam - Ok, first off he has to have sudden memories that Uncle Ben, his inspiration, his reason for becoming a hero in fact, molested him as a child. And Aunt May watched and filmed the whole thing.
Boy that went dark quick Phone Post
1/11/13 9:16 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
WildFireJoe
256 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 2/18/10
Posts: 1813
It is then revealed that Uncle Ben was actually Mephisto the whole time, and the One More Day event happened because he just wanted to spend more time with Peter in order to try to molest him more.
1/11/13 9:41 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
The_Pundits_Fluffer_III
75 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 6/14/10
Posts: 10287

Peter, battling with his newfound alcoholism and the fact that Uncle Ben/Mephisto was a kiddie-porn dealing child molestor seeks answers with Doctor Strange. Doctor Strange uses his powers to reveal to Peter that in fact he is not Peter Parker, but he is the clone of his Uncle Ben, who is actually Ben Reily who was secretly brought back in time after helping Bishop, Thor and Franklin Richards fight off an alternative future where Doctor Octopus has split his consciousness into thousands of fragments and mind-switched himself with every single Asgardian in order to create Octogard and conquering the Earth.

Knowing that knowledge of this sort of future would hinder his life in the present day he was mind-wiped by Prof. X which gave Mephisto the opening he needed in order to capture Uncle Ben Reily and switch places with him in order to molest Peter Parker.

Peter vows to release the true Uncle Ben Reily/his clone father and also clone son. However the Carnage symbiote has dug up the corpse of Gwen Stacey and has reanimated her dead body to create some sort of symbiote-zombie-guard in order to keep Peter from ever reaching the real Uncle Ben Reily. In order to reach them Peter must time travel through various places in history upon a magical squid that he telepathically controls and becomes a Pirate, a Pilgrim, a Medival Knight and a Caveman in the process.

Upon reaching the prison where Zombie-Gwarnage is holding Uncle Ben Reily we see Peter bad-assely hop off the time traveling squid and crack his knuckles, Gwarnage roars, "Don't you know who the fuck I am!? I'm the Gwarnagenaut BITCH!" as Cyrrotak suddenly powers her up with big pokey crystals popping out of her muscles and squid-shoulder-pads because that makes something more bad ass. In reply Peter says, "Are you dense!? Are you retarded or something!? I'm the God damned Spider-Man!" as he hurls a Spiderang at Gwarnagenaut.

1/11/13 9:50 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
WildFireJoe
256 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Edited: 01/11/13 10:02 PM
Member Since: 2/18/10
Posts: 1815
As the Spiderang connects with Gwarnagenaut's sticky face, Galactus appears.

"I need a new herald," He announces. "Spider-Man, you'll do."

Galactus powers Spider-Man up Cosmicly, and Spider-Man lays the smack down on Gwarnagenaut in the form of a vicious hate fuck leaving them both very satisfied in the end.

After Cosmicly Powered Spider-Man leaves Gwarnagenaut a fake phone number and a false promise to call her, he rescues Uncle Ben Reilly.

Cosmicly Powered Spider-Man then opens a rift to Hell itself where he confronts Mephisto and molests him so hard that the REAL Uncle Ben comes back into being!

Uncle Ben puts his hand on Peter's shoulder and apologizes for molesting him, gives him sage advice and tells him to take his life back.

Cosmicly Powered Spider-Man starts with Miles Morales by beating him ruthlessly while screaming mind shattering insults. He drags him to Time Square, places a sign with an arrow pointing towards Miles and the caption, "MY OTHER CAR."

"WHAT ARE YOU MILES," Spider-Man screams! "TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE!"

With tears pouring down his eyes Miles stammers out, "I'm... I'M A COCKPHAGGOT!"
1/12/13 5:15 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
Calebcb
108 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 1/9/06
Posts: 1205
Then he gets in a fight with Storm and loses...

1/12/13 10:00 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
The_Pundits_Fluffer_III
75 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 6/14/10
Posts: 10290

... his temper and beats her to death with his bare hands.

1/13/13 10:33 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
MarkRobinson
1143 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 4/5/07
Posts: 12745
Hahaha, you bastards. Phone Post
1/13/13 10:37 AM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
MarkRobinson
1143 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 4/5/07
Posts: 12746
Calebcb - Then he gets in a fight with Storm and loses...

I've never forgiven you for this. Phone Post
1/13/13 12:29 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
WildFireJoe
256 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 2/18/10
Posts: 1818
After beating Storm to death the Avengers all turn on Spider-Man. He whoops all of their collective asses (Especially Thor's.)

Suddenly, Scarlet Witch appears and uses her magic powers to make Spider-Man's Cosmic powers go away. POOF! GONE!

Wolverine comes out of nowhere and stabs regular powered Spider-Man through the heart. As he lay dying, Aunt May rushes over and holds him tenderly in her arms. Unknown to her, his blood mixed in with hers, transforming her into the...


















AUNTMAYZING SPIDER-WOMAN!
1/13/13 7:34 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
Jobe Watson the Bomber
408 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 10/12/10
Posts: 3590
I thought you guys were trying to write the WORST story?

This is the best fucking story I've ever read. Phone Post
1/13/13 7:37 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
CursedHand
22 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 9/15/12
Posts: 146
best spiderman story ever. i'd buy that for a dollar.
1/13/13 11:40 PM
Ignore | Quote | Vote Down | Vote Up
The_Pundits_Fluffer_III
75 The total sum of your votes up and votes down Send Private Message Add Comment To Profile

Member Since: 6/14/10
Posts: 10295

Auntmayzing Spider-Man swears vengenace against Wolverine but after she hunts him down Wolverine tells her that Peter Parker was replaced by a Skrull and that he knew this by smelling it. He tells Auntmayzing Spider-Man that in order to find the real Peter Parker that she will have to travel with Rocket Raccoon, Howard the Duck and Squirrel Girl to outer space to find him.

 

 


Reply Post

You must log in to post a reply. Click here to login.