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BJJGround Forum >> Guys asking not to roll with the ladies


2/1/13 2:35 PM
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Tehunamatata
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lol we gotta coupe of decent looking chicks in my class, they always wanna roll with me for some reason.

Maybe cause I just lay back and let them climb all over me haha.
2/1/13 2:53 PM
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Pride Wanderlei
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WhoRunsBarterTown - Their long hair is annoying too. I feel terrible when I get some hair in my hands when I'm getting a collar grip.

A dude with long hair? I dont really care. He should quit looking like a shemale and just cut the crap.
Tell that to Kurt, he will push your shit in. Phone Post
2/1/13 3:20 PM
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Dean Demuro
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biggator - if you cant roll with a girl without smashpassing, stacking, kneeon, crushing cross/side... then you need to roll with her probably more than she needs to roll with you.

but hair in the grips does suck.
I'm with you here.

So you're grappling with someone of lower rank/skill/strength...whatever it is that allows you to continually beat them. Why do you feel the need to destroy them every roll? Try using that time with them to work on a part of your game that blows. Reversals, sweeps, submission defense?

I'm not saying let them beat you, but don't be so attached to winning every round with every partner that you miss out on an opportunity to improve your game. Phone Post
2/1/13 6:27 PM
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emu67
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Maybe the guy isn't comfortable being that intimate with women. It is kind of weird to have punany and boobs rubbed all over you during practice. Takes getting used to. Maybe the guy will have a different opinion the longer he trains.

There's some guys that girls say they won't train with. Why can't a guy request the same thing? I think the guys preference should be accepted with no discrimination to it. Phone Post
2/1/13 7:39 PM
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Koga
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Training BJJ is easy, just ask what would Marcello do?

Kano summed it up beautifully with the basic judo principle of "mutual benefit, mutual reward".

Competition is about winning, training is about getting better: not just you but your training partners as well. This means you roll to the best of your abilities against better or similar training partners, but even there never hesitate to try techniques and strategies that are outside of your "A game".

When you roll with someone you are a bit better than, let them play their game as well and take the opportunity to try new techniques, work on your weak side, etc.

There will be times when you have much more experience, size etc than training partners, just let them play with limited resistance - it is not always about you, it is always about you and your training partner getting better.

I have done judo and bjj with world and Olympic champions, guys that were a mirror image of me in skill and attributes and teach a childrens judo class where the instructors do both standing randori and groundwork with the students and have never injured a training partner with a thoughtless action.
2/1/13 8:01 PM
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aarick161
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I enjoy rolling with females. Maybe I'm in the wrong forum, but from time to time I enjoy NOT having a dude's balls smashed against my face.
2/1/13 8:13 PM
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Judo Scott
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The only women I avoid are new white belts I don't know. Mostly just because they usually feel awkward enough and don't need a dude in te mix to.

Other than that I just roll with them like anyone else. If someones a lot smaller or weaker I don't crush the crap out of them.
2/1/13 8:34 PM
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trianglegrrl
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I don't really see that it's much different than a bigger guy rolling with a smaller guy. If you don't have the control necessary to adjust your game yet (say, white belts) then it's understandable that you don't want to hurt somebody.. If you're a blue belt or higher, you should be able to get something out of every roll, no matter who your partner is. I roll with white belts all the time and have a blast.

Asking not to roll with any women is different than asking not to roll with a specific person. Personally, I'd ask him why,
2/1/13 10:50 PM
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GrahamJ
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emu67 -  Maybe the guy isn't comfortable being that intimate with women. It is kind of weird to have punany and boobs rubbed all over you during practice. Takes getting used to. Maybe the guy will have a different opinion the longer he trains.

There's some guys that girls say they won't train with. Why can't a guy request the same thing? I think the guys preference should be accepted with no discrimination to it. Phone Post

...but he's ok with cock?

Also: 'punany'? Alright, Ali G.
2/2/13 1:19 AM
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Shinsplint
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Edited: 02/02/13 1:24 AM
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I'm a smaller guy at the gym so I like to smash pass and assert dominance over the women at gym just like all the big guys do to me. I always go 110% to simulate real life encounters. but also..

I don't mind rolling with the girls at all. I realize the benefits that training with a similar sized partner provide. Having a round or two to work on new techniques is great. I really hate seeing a new female student stop training after a couple months because they are not being given any room to work.

Once and awhile you end up grabbing a boob etc. I just apologize the same way I would for catching a guy in the junk with my shin. No big deal.
2/2/13 2:10 AM
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andyman011
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As long as you're not roughing the girl up its all fair game IMO. Put weight on her, put some leverage in the armbar, sink in that gi choke. I feel if she's willing to spar with guys she's going to spar with a guy. I'm obviously not gonna shove an elbow in her throat and slam her but putting a little muscle isn't bad.

Before I roll I usually ask (non seriously) if she feels women are equal to men. Most say not strength wise. You tell them oh so you're saying you're lesser than a man. It'll get a bit more out of em Phone Post
2/2/13 2:34 AM
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Ceelo
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I don't roll with females because I don't feel a reward for both parties involved in regards to training. But thats only because I am pushing 260 and stand at 6'6 where the females at my school are 5'2 110...Unless she is training to face Gabi Garcia I dont see where I can reward her training...
2/2/13 3:50 AM
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TheMessiah
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SC MMA MD - Sounds like an ego problem. I expect he will be gone from class in the near future Phone Post
. Phone Post
2/2/13 4:30 AM
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TheBulgarianAssassin
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If he is pretty big and goes a little crazy while rolling then it wouldn't be a good idea to pair him up with a female anyways. I don't see why you would. Nothing good can come out of that.
2/2/13 5:06 AM
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BJJRoxy
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TheBulgarianAssassin - If he is pretty big and goes a little crazy while rolling then it wouldn't be a good idea to pair him up with a female anyways. I don't see why you would. Nothing good can come out of that.
Agreed. And I told him that. I'm not a tiny female. I'm 5'9 140 lbs. There is only one other girl my size at the gym and she is a white belt. I told him he would most likely never go with the ladies there and that Professor would likely never pair us up together. It just ended up that way this particular day and since I was teaching I paired myself up with him. Phone Post
2/2/13 5:20 AM
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BJJRoxy
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Just a lil update: Professor actually didn't say anything to him, but I talked with him about it. He laughed about it again and just put him with the other crazy white belts and commenced to let him get his ass kicked. He is pretty old school and gets irritated because he feels like the American ego is ridiculous. He just said " I hope now he believes in Jiu Jitsu after rolling with you."

That being said he is pretty particular about who he puts the ladies in class with. I roll with guys that other ladies don't just because of my size and rank. And the guys that I do go with go pretty hard for the most part but they are usually blue and purples so they know the difference between using pressure and trying to muscle. I've had guys go way too light before and I've told them to pick it up. There's no point to the roll if they aren't going to get anything out of it either. I think, well, I hope they see me as a training partner and not some burdensome lady they have to tip toe around. I have the bruises to prove it. ;)

Thanks for all the insight! Phone Post
2/2/13 1:58 PM
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SC MMA MD
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Just saw this online, seemed timely given the conversation on this thread. I will post a working link when I get back home from working tonight Phone Post
2/2/13 2:00 PM
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SC MMA MD
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Edited: 02/04/13 6:25 PM
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http://bjjtoday.net/lessons-from-women-who-roll 

Meant to post this above Phone Post

Edit to make link work

2/3/13 2:43 AM
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Eazy08
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Maybe he just feels like he rolls to rough and doesn't want to hurt the girl he rolls with
2/4/13 5:37 PM
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Publicnoose
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Pride Wanderlei -

I actually don't really like rolling with ladies for total other reasons than them tapping me. 

They smell nasty sometimes also Phone Post
2/5/13 6:45 AM
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skilgannon
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I know of a school that does not allow women to train with them. Isn't this illegal in some way?
2/5/13 9:33 AM
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Jessy30
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Sure^^^ and if you decline to roll with black guys thats declining a roll too. It also makes you racist. The same way declining to roll with women makes you sexist. At least admit to yourself why you decline the rolls. Phone Post
2/5/13 9:33 AM
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Setree
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Many students are paying for a professional, respectful, team environment. Allowing a single customer to disrupt that costs you money.
2/5/13 1:24 PM
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biggator
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Ive been looking at this all wrong. ive changed my mind.

If the guy prefers sweaty men on top of him for the whole class and cant be bothered with working with a female teammate then who am i to judge. to each their own.

Its legal in many states now and in the military as well why should bjj be any diff. you go boys!!!
2/5/13 3:59 PM
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The Gimp
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WhoRunsBarterTown - 
Jessy30 -  Sure^^^ and if you decline to roll with black guys thats declining a roll too. It also makes you racist. The same way declining to roll with women makes you sexist. At least admit to yourself why you decline the rolls. Phone Post

That's some solid college liberal egalitarian thinking you got right there.

Perhaps it's because you dont want to roll with tiny, easily breakable, sucky people with hair that gets everywhere and a whole region that is awkward to touch.

I guess that would count as 'sizist' in pomo new speak

That's a prejudiced, sexist attitude you got right there.

Lemme get this straight: it's not that you don't want to roll with women because they are women - it's because women are "sucky" grapplers who are all weaklings with long hair. Boy, I sure wish I had your logic skills instead of my college liberal egalitarian thinking.

I've rolled with small women and even small teenagers and never had a problem. Just roll lighter and more carefully. Not hardcore enough for you bro?

I feel bad that you've never seen the true power of BJJ demonstrated - I've been clowned plenty of times by guys and girls who were much lighter (but much more skilled) than me. That's what makes this art so magic.

Your "whole region that is awkward to touch" comment is creepy IMO. Who think about that shit while grappling?

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