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What if ... >> Got caught beating off before my shower


2/8/13 3:13 PM
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MyUnclesCreepy
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I've had a habit of beating the meat stick before I hope on the shower. Somehow someway the girlfriend knew what I was doing. She was upset because I didn't want sex last night but I beat my meat this morning. She started crying and asked me if I was cheating to which I am not. Wouldn't even consider it.

I find it funny that I can come home and I'll find her vibrator all over the place but its not ok for me to bust one out. She then switched it to we don't communicate enough which I find hard to understand because I thought we did. Anyone else deal with any shit like this???

Frat version

Jacked off
Got caught
Woman not happy since I turned down sexy time last night Phone Post
2/8/13 3:14 PM
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ThatKickDidntHuroooohhhhhhhh
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2/8/13 3:16 PM
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MyUnclesCreepy
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ThatKickDidntHuroooohhhhhhhh -

Hahahahaha

Thank you for making me laugh!!!! Phone Post
2/8/13 3:17 PM
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Joe_Drogan420
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So your mom caught you beating off?
Cool story bro.
2/8/13 3:17 PM
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UGCTT_Edgar_Ate_My_Baby
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Atleast she didn't catch you taking it in the wrong forum asshole Phone Post
2/8/13 3:17 PM
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hmb
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Why didn't you just sex her real quick?
2/8/13 3:17 PM
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Shoebert
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You pulled a Nam Phan! Minus the not wanting sex part.

2/8/13 3:18 PM
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MyUnclesCreepy
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This story is about a dude jacking off


Figured all you UG fanboys would love some fap material

Mods please move Phone Post
2/8/13 3:18 PM
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Barbalos
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Yeah the OG is so much better.
2/8/13 3:21 PM
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MyUnclesCreepy
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hmb - Why didn't you just sex her real quick?
I've been pretty stressed lately she lost her job on a mistake she didn't communicate to me and with a new baby I just wasn't feeling it Phone Post
2/8/13 3:21 PM
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knuckleballs
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My girl likes it when i jerk off in her mouth. You could try this, but...

...even saying that, we all should be allowed to jerk off when we want. She needs to get her shit together. It's up to you to tactfully explain that...
2/8/13 3:23 PM
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Death Beast
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Most people who are oddly paranoid about their partner cheating are in fact cheating themselves. So don't stress it too much, she's probably just feeling guilty over all that random manjuice she's been chugging.
Does that help?
2/8/13 3:24 PM
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MyUnclesCreepy
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knuckleballs - My girl likes it when i jerk off in her mouth. You could try this, but...

...even saying that, we all should be allowed to jerk off when we want. She needs to get her shit together. It's up to you to tactfully explain that...
My girl does too she does what I want and need sexually and I'm very satisfied

I explained to her no matter what chick I'm with no matter how hot or ugly guys will always have a need to rub one out. Doesn't matter how much or little they get laid its something that is certain like death and taxes

She failed to realize this and then asked if I was cheating to which I laughed at Phone Post
2/8/13 3:25 PM
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MyUnclesCreepy
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Death Beast - Most people who are oddly paranoid about their partner cheating are in fact cheating themselves. So don't stress it too much, she's probably just feeling guilty over all that random manjuice she's been chugging.
Does that help?
As long as he is black I'm ok with that Phone Post
2/8/13 3:25 PM
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uberpinscher
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MyUnclesCreepy - I've had a habit of beating the meat stick before I hope on the shower. Somehow someway the girlfriend knew what I was doing. She was upset because I didn't want sex last night but I beat my meat this morning. She started crying and asked me if I was cheating to which I am not. Wouldn't even consider it.

I find it funny that I can come home and I'll find her vibrator all over the place but its not ok for me to bust one out. She then switched it to we don't communicate enough which I find hard to understand because I thought we did. Anyone else deal with any shit like this???

Frat version

Jacked off
Got caught
Woman not happy since I turned down sexy time last night Phone Post
Try to explain the activities are totally different

Wanting to bang one out is totally different than having sex

Be patient with her though! Phone Post
2/8/13 3:29 PM
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UGCTT_nightkap
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Isn't there a dipshit forum somewhere in here?..... Phone Post
2/8/13 3:30 PM
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Erik Tracey
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ThatKickDidntHuroooohhhhhhhh -

That's....creepy? Phone Post
2/8/13 3:30 PM
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DoomFarmer
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Did you shoot it all over the WFA? Phone Post
2/8/13 3:58 PM
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MyUnclesCreepy
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uberpinscher -
MyUnclesCreepy - I've had a habit of beating the meat stick before I hope on the shower. Somehow someway the girlfriend knew what I was doing. She was upset because I didn't want sex last night but I beat my meat this morning. She started crying and asked me if I was cheating to which I am not. Wouldn't even consider it.

I find it funny that I can come home and I'll find her vibrator all over the place but its not ok for me to bust one out. She then switched it to we don't communicate enough which I find hard to understand because I thought we did. Anyone else deal with any shit like this???

Frat version

Jacked off
Got caught
Woman not happy since I turned down sexy time last night Phone Post
Try to explain the activities are totally different

Wanting to bang one out is totally different than having sex

Be patient with her though! Phone Post
I think that's my issue she lacks common sense and it drives me nuts. Amazing girlfriend and mother to our son but fuck if she doesnt make me stressed Phone Post
2/8/13 4:02 PM
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KZTT_W85
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A lot of times people accuse others of cheating as they are insecure as they have explored that path themselves, maybe not had sex but you know one of these 'emotional affairs' and realize how easy it is and worry about it occurring to them.

You also mentioned a new baby, my wife went funny for a month or two after the birth of our first child, she was diagnosed as having a mild case of post natal depression which the doctor said was more common than people think.

So if the issues go further than you have shared then that may be worth exploring if not then I've already shared my thoughts on that scenario. Phone Post
2/8/13 4:06 PM
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I_Bungalo_Baboo_Babies
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Yup, girls are weird about meat spanking Phone Post
2/8/13 4:08 PM
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MyUnclesCreepy
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KZTT_W85 - A lot of times people accuse others of cheating as they are insecure as they have explored that path themselves, maybe not had sex but you know one of these 'emotional affairs' and realize how easy it is and worry about it occurring to them.

You also mentioned a new baby, my wife went funny for a month or two after the birth of our first child, she was diagnosed as having a mild case of post natal depression which the doctor said was more common than people think.

So if the issues go further than you have shared then that may be worth exploring if not then I've already shared my thoughts on that scenario. Phone Post
Our baby is 5 months I pretty positive she hasn't cheated if she isn't or hasn't been satisfied with our relationship then she needs the communication not me.

It was just a weird way to start my day but her asking if I had been cheating caught me off guard because since our son came I have been either at work or home and nowhere else in between

Thanks for your advice Phone Post
2/8/13 4:09 PM
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canofsticks
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You could use this as an opportunity to suggest something you two haven't done before (i.e. roll play, etc)

example: Honey. Look, i've been wanting to try this but I figure you wouldn't be into it so every time I think about it, instead of bringing it up, I just go...you know.

upside you might get something new outta it AND you don't have to convince a woman that we love beating off more than our first born. or second born. or third.
2/8/13 4:12 PM
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rnunz
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2/8/13 4:16 PM
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KZTT_W85
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MyUnclesCreepy -
KZTT_W85 - A lot of times people accuse others of cheating as they are insecure as they have explored that path themselves, maybe not had sex but you know one of these 'emotional affairs' and realize how easy it is and worry about it occurring to them.

You also mentioned a new baby, my wife went funny for a month or two after the birth of our first child, she was diagnosed as having a mild case of post natal depression which the doctor said was more common than people think.

So if the issues go further than you have shared then that may be worth exploring if not then I've already shared my thoughts on that scenario. Phone Post
Our baby is 5 months I pretty positive she hasn't cheated if she isn't or hasn't been satisfied with our relationship then she needs the communication not me.

It was just a weird way to start my day but her asking if I had been cheating caught me off guard because since our son came I have been either at work or home and nowhere else in between

Thanks for your advice Phone Post
Well if you are pretty positive of all that then that's good.

Around the time our first child was around 3-6 months old (long time ago, not really sure when)

She caught me jacking it to a porno and man, she went crazy. She made this whole thing out like I was cheating on her because of the girls in the movie and all this stuff.

Now, this was years ago and realities have changed and my circumstance was a little different to yours but one thing can be said that apply to most of these little incidents.

Sometimes there is nothing more to it than bitches just being crazy, especially over this stuff Phone Post

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