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UnderGround Forums >> TRTito = Greatest Fighting Machine Ever, but...


5/20/13 1:41 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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But with a Shakespearean twist that teaches us something important about Vitor Belfort.

 

"Although controversy remains regarding indications for testosterone supplementation in aging men due to lack of large-scale, long-term studies assessing the benefits and risks of testosterone-replacement therapy in men, reports indicate that TRT may produce a wide range of benefits for men with hypogonadism that include improvement in libido and sexual function, BONE DENSITY, muscle mass, body composition, mood, erythropoiesis, COGNITION, quality of life and cardiovascular disease."

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2701485/

 

Here is why TRTito Ortiz would have the potential to be the greatest fighting machine the world has ever seen:

 

Key #1 - bone density: No fighter in the UFC has been plagued with more bone injuries than Tito Ortiz. Imagine Tito with an iron jaw, a fully intact skull and the spinal cord of a 16 year old mastadon. Physiologically healthy for the first time since exiting the womb, impossible to KO, levering down punches from inside guard with the unbending leverage of a bundle of steel rods.

 

Key #2 - cognition: Picture the mind of a master strategist like Randy Couture in the body of Tito Ortiz. Again, the potential for improvement is bewildering. Go watch the 2011 Bradley Cooper movie Limitless, then watch a few Tito Ortiz interviews and you'll agree.

 

Here is why it doesn't matter:

Libido and sexual function: Tito's already enormous libido has gotten him in trouble and at times interrupted his focus to the detriment of his fighting career. Even a tiny increase would prove catastrophic. Imagine Tito with the libido of 500 Sly Stallones, living in the social network of the pornography industry, snapping photos of his gigantic flaccid penis using fistfulls of leopard print iPhones and you'll appreciate the tragedy.

 

Now:

What does this teach us about Vitor Belfort? Vitor Belfort, the most devoutly relgious and pure human being in MMA, is the only top-level fighter designed to enjoy the benefits of TRT without having his life ruined by the dangerous sexual side effects. The surge in his libido is never satisfied, creating feelings of guilt and frustration that translate into violent spinning back kicks and vascular screams of primal victory. He will win and hold the title as long as he isn't tempted by the carnal lifestyle of superstardom. For Tito, it is too late.

 

5/20/13 2:37 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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ttt for more vote downs, good for my self-assessment

5/20/13 2:40 PM
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Team GDP
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2JupitersTooMany - 

ttt for more vote downs, good for my self-assessment


sorry, i voted you up

5/20/13 2:41 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Probably shouldn't have pulled the trigger, just wanted my own TRT thread I guess

5/20/13 2:42 PM
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inf0
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Edited: 05/20/13 2:42 PM
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ViToR BelforT is the champion spokesperson TRT has needed all along.

 

5/20/13 2:44 PM
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TopGrinder
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Calo 2.0???? Phone Post 3.0
5/20/13 2:52 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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I guess I did some research about the benefits of TRT use and I mapped it out, then I made a huge chart of every fighter in the UFC listing their strengths and weaknesses and then pasted a plastic overlay on top of the whole thing and Tito's red areas matched up perfectly, like he's this 2000 piece puzzle that was missing a few huge pieces made of TRT.

 

5/20/13 3:58 PM
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minotauro11
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TRTito would be scary! VTFU Phone Post 3.0
5/20/13 4:06 PM
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ShakeR_
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2JupitersTooMany -

Probably shouldn't have pulled the trigger, just wanted my own TRT thread I guess

Who the hell would vote you down for this? The descriptive visuals alone are worth the price of admission.

Never fear vote downs when such an opportunity presents itself. F the haters... Phone Post
5/20/13 4:06 PM
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Bobby Lupo
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That's a 9/10. Shit like this makes me want to up my game. Iron sharpens iron Phone Post 3.0
5/20/13 4:07 PM
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El Ninja
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Lol at Tito being any cleaner than the rest of them. All respect to him, but his head doubled in size over the course of his career. Phone Post 3.0
5/20/13 5:45 PM
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2JupitersTooMany
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Edited: 05/20/13 5:46 PM
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El Ninja - Lol at Tito being any cleaner than the rest of them. All respect to him, but his head doubled in size over the course of his career. Phone Post 3.0

 


Assuming you are wrong, this is an interesting topic I've thought about quite a bit.  At what point does your head become so unweildy that the negatives overcome the benefits? 

 

I imagine every fighter would love the knockout immunity that comes with having a 200-pound head but bear in mind you have to carry that thing around with you every waking hour of the day.  Also, your center of gravity would be much too high to be practical and your head would demand more oxygen in order to stay lucid, putting a great deal of stress on your conditioning. 

Such an interesting problem but honestly I think Tito could size up quite a bit still.  He has excellent shoulders and having carried around a large head for most of his life, he has a headstart by way of core neck strength and spinal conditioning.

5/21/13 12:59 AM
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2JupitersTooMany
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TTTito Phone Post 3.0
5/21/13 1:25 AM
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granderojo
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best poster ever
5/21/13 6:12 AM
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orcus
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" snapping photos of his gigantic flaccid penis using fistfulls of leopard print iPhones"

lol

5/21/13 6:34 AM
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Fedoral Crime
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Tito doesn't need TRT to help him come out of retirement, Tito needs TRT to help him with his public speaking. Phone Post 3.0
5/21/13 6:43 AM
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Kostakio
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It's cheating. Phone Post 3.0
5/21/13 8:06 AM
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PassnSmash
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5/21/13 8:18 AM
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Gerbacio
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3 vtfu Phone Post 3.0

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