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S&C UnderGround >> Utterly Pathetic Friend

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6/12/13 12:05 AM
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ironmongoose
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Member Since: 4/17/02
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So I have this friend. He lives in another city.

The guy is 36 years old (same age as me, we grew up together) dirt poor, lazy, and pathetically out of shape. No gym, no sports equipment, no pool, no friends living near him, the guy is on unemployment, and depressed, and overweight. Lives with his parents, who are even more sedentary than he is.

But he actually wants to improve himself.

He's been going for walks. I thought maybe I could suggest that he do a little more exercise than that.

He has no coordination. He is not completely without willpower, however.

I thought maybe get him to do some more exercise. You'll have to forgive me--I don't really know anything about PT--but I was thinking maybe:

Pushup
Lunge
Pullup
Squat
Abs
Bridge

Do one exercise until that body part is tired, then move on to the next one. Maybe cycle through X number of times, or for X number of minutes, at first, then increase duration as his endurance goes up. If he were to go along with it, and there's a reasonable chance he might, is that at all a good approach? It seems simple, covers a bunch of muscle groups, and would be be doing some strength and endurance and cardio at the same time.

Is this good advice for me to be giving to an out-of-shape guy? Or what would you suggest? Like I said, if it's simple, there's a reasonable chance he'll actually do it.
6/12/13 3:05 AM
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Leigh
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Tell him to eat clean and drop some weight Phone Post
6/12/13 8:57 AM
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Tommy_Wiseau
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I agree with cleaning up his diet. Aside from that, I would get him doing activities outdoors to break his depression, drop weight and gain some initial fitness. Where does he live? Hiking, biking, kayaking, etc...something outdoors in nature that is moderately strenuous. Getting natural vitamin D and getting away from artificial light, traffic, electronics, and all the bullshit of modern life along with eating healthy will do him good mentally. Plus he will get in shape, drop weight and hopefully enjoy what he is doing.
6/12/13 12:37 PM
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vermonter
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Your advice is good enough. For someone like him I'd have him do them and see what he thought was the most fun. Then have him focus on those, because that's likely the only way he'll actually do it.

If he likes some kind of sport better, maybe he could try a pick-up league too. Might be a push for someone like that, but could me more fun and the social interaction could help him a lot too.
6/12/13 1:22 PM
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ironmongoose
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Yeah, I should've given more background.

The guy is an aspie, lives with his parents, and his mother is super-rigid and is the "nutritional gatekeeper" for the family.

I actually know considerably more about nutrition than fitness, and sent him an email with some VERY practical nutrition advice. He tried to make some adjustments but his mother couldn't handle any changes and there was a bunch of drama. However, he did limit portion size and dropped something like 7 or 8 pounds he says.

What's a good way for him to get the right dosage of exercise? I thought maybe "do each one until you're tired, then switch, cycling through the entire set three times" made sense because the end result is that it'll look a little like what we do with strength training--just less intensity and kinda intervalled together.
6/12/13 1:58 PM
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vermonter
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I was actually going to ask if he was an aspie, since I am one too, but I've been accused of seeing it everywhere so I kept that to myself haha.

In the stage he's at, it's mostly necessary for him to do anything. The details are less important. If he finds it fun and it tires him, then that should do the trick. Once he gets into the habit and culture of fitness enough, then the details will be more useful.

So yeah, I'd say your advice is just fine.

What does he eat now?
6/12/13 4:12 PM
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Shanle929
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Member Since: 2/19/13
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If he's too big he may not be able to do a pull-up. So maybe buy him a band to help? Or if he's a close friend buy him a TRX and work his entire body. Or have him pay you back when he can. An investment into his health. Phone Post 3.0
6/12/13 10:23 PM
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ironmongoose
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I don't know what he's eating, but even he knows it's not healthy. I kind of assume that it's typical, brainless, prairie home cooking, probably high-carb, using cheap meats like ground beef and chicken drumsticks, often has cheese melted over the top of it or some cream sauce, too much salt... His parents are old and set in their ways.

I just sent him another workshop handbook from a nutritionist friend of mine. Portion control and eating what vegetables are on the table and less of everything else is about all he can do.

His latest email said that he's been offered an oilfield job (though he'll have to train just to take it). Now I'm sure that anything I tell him to do, he'll try. I just don't want to recommend anything where he's going to hurt himself due to lack of supervision.

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