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6/1/14 7:19 PM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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Mine

Little boy asks his dad what a cunt is

Dad takes little boy upstairs, opens bedroom door, where momma is lying naked, legs spread.


You see that son??

Thats a pussy

Your mothers a cunt! Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 7:37 PM
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Inked624
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What's better than roses on a piano?


Tulips on an organ....... Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 7:37 PM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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Nobody liked my joke?


Fuckin bunch of slack jawed faggots around here Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 7:39 PM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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Inked624 - What's better than roses on a piano?


Tulips on an organ....... Phone Post 3.0
I love it. A buddy of mine until recently married would say any chat up line to anyone. This was dublin 2011

He diddnt get none Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 7:41 PM
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fuzzislipperz
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What do you call an alligator in a vest?



An investigator. Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 8:02 PM
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Powdered Toast Man
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Grasshopper walks into a bar.

Bartender says "Hey we got a drink named after you."

Grasshopper says "You've got a drink named Steve?"
6/1/14 8:15 PM
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Pernod
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What'd the Jewish pedophile say to the boy he lured into his van?

Easy on the candy, kid. Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 8:26 PM
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AlphaMaleJP
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What's the easiest way to pick up a 13 yr old Jewish girl?

A broom and a dust pan. Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 9:51 PM
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S bend7
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AlphaMaleJP - What's the easiest way to pick up a 13 yr old Jewish girl?

A broom and a dust pan. Phone Post 3.0
Holy shit. I shouldn't of but I did Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 9:55 PM
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BackOffWarchild
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What do you call a black guy with a degree from Harvard?

6/1/14 9:57 PM
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Ray Blackburn
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A Middle Aged woman goes to a grocery store. She buys $200 worth and needs help getting them to the car. An 18 year old bag boy offers to help. Instantly she is attracted to the young man.

As they are in the parking lot and approaching her car, she becomes hornier and hornier by the moment. She decides to make a move and says....

"Boy, I have an itchy pussy."

And he replies "could you point it out to me? I don't know one Japanese car from another." Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 10:13 PM
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x Eat Schmidt x
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Why do black people stink?


So blind people can't hate them too. Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 10:15 PM
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Phaedo
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x Eat Schmidt x - Why do black people stink?


So blind people can't hate them too. Phone Post 3.0

Man, how do you botch that punchline?
6/1/14 10:26 PM
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The_KoJ
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Little Ms.Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider who sat down beside her and said, "What's in the bowl bitch!?" Phone Post 3.0
6/1/14 10:30 PM
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brandonrollins
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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes...... NOTHING!!! You've already told her twice.
6/1/14 10:41 PM
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pennviachoke
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x Eat Schmidt x - Why do black people stink?


So blind people can't hate them too. Phone Post 3.0
Later Phone Post 3.0
6/2/14 7:57 AM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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Ttt Phone Post 3.0
6/2/14 8:04 AM
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Pig Bun
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Edited: 06/02/14 8:04 AM
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[Driving past an impressive cemetery, large monuments and such, with people who have not previously heard the joke.] "You know, if you live in this city, it is illegal for you to be buried in this cemetery."

I've used that joke dozens of times in my life, and only maybe 3 people have caught on. My son is 19, and reports that he has successfully used it dozens of times as well.
6/2/14 8:39 AM
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illini89i
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What's the difference between 2 dicks and a joke?


Your mom can't take a joke. Phone Post 3.0
6/2/14 8:41 AM
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slimline
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What's the best thing g about having sex with 21 year old?


There's 20 of them!


Did you know they have found the wings from flight 370....

They are still looking for the wongs. Phone Post 3.0
6/2/14 9:02 AM
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MarkRobinson
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A horse walks into a bar

The bartender says "why the long face". Phone Post 3.0
6/2/14 9:17 AM
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Ghost of Sex_Guy
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FRAT!

There is a long line at St. Peter's gate. He announces that heaven is getting full and will only be taking some special cases. He calls for the first man to step forward.

Man#1
Picture this.....I live on the 25th story of this apartment building. For some time now I've been suspecting my wife is cheating on me. I come home early from work one day to find her butt naked in bed with the sheets thrown back like someone jumped out. I search all over this house, but I have no luck in finding him. I walk out to the balcony to grab some air and there he is hanging from the ledge! I start beating the shit out of him. He wouldn't let go so I ran into the house and grabbed a hammer. I start hammering on his fingers and he finally falls 25 stories. I watched with glee as he lands. This fucker lands in some bushes and gets up and brushes himself off! I get pissed, walk in the house, rip the fridge from the wall, and throw it down killing him instantly. In the midst of it all, I have a heart attack and die right there on the balcony.

St. Peter looks at the man and tells him to go on in. Phone Post 3.0
6/2/14 9:20 AM
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Tractor
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Pig Bun - [Driving past an impressive cemetery, large monuments and such, with people who have not previously heard the joke.] "You know, if you live in this city, it is illegal for you to be buried in this cemetery."

I've used that joke dozens of times in my life, and only maybe 3 people have caught on. My son is 19, and reports that he has successfully used it dozens of times as well.
Explination? Phone Post 3.0
6/2/14 9:21 AM
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Ghost of Sex_Guy
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St. Peter calls the second man to tell his tale.

Man#2

Picture this.....I live on the 26th floor of an apartment building. Every morning I do my workouts on the balcony. Today I slipped and fell. Luckily I managed to hold onto the balcony below. I'm screaming for help for what seemed like hours when a man came outside. I think I'm saved until he starts beating the shit out of me! Finally he leaves and I think I'm saved again! He then comes out with a hammer and starts hammering on my fingers! I can't take it anymore and I fall 25 stories. What do you know, after falling 25 stories I land in some bushes. I get up to brush myself off and I look up to thank God I'm still alive....Bam! Refrigerator, kills me instantly.

St. Peter shakes his head and tells the man that sounds like a bad day and to go on in. Phone Post 3.0
6/2/14 9:22 AM
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Ghost of Sex_Guy
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St. Peter calls the third man to tell his story and looks at him with a confused face.

Man#3

Picture this....I'm butt naked in a refrigerator. Phone Post 3.0
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