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OtherGround Forums >> Whats your favorite joke?


6/14/14 3:02 AM
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NHBshooter
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:-) Phone Post 3.0
6/14/14 3:05 AM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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TruthAboveAll - A group of guys are sitting around a campfire late at night, telling each other stories about near death experiences. After a while a very old man clears his throat and begins to tell his story.

"I had been hunting this lion for weeks in the African bush. I was half asleep one night when I heard something rustlin' through the grass.. Before I could get up off my back I heard a terrifying roar.. Just like this RAWWRRRR!! And I just shit my pants."

One of the other men around the fire spoke up, "hell if I'd been there I probably would've shit my pants too, old guy."

The old man says, "no I shit myself just now.. When I went 'RAWR'. " Phone Post 3.0
Hahaha Phone Post 3.0
6/14/14 3:05 AM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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Boxerdog - Guy sits down at the bar with a parrot on his shoulder and orders a rum am coke. Bartender looks at him sideways but serves him his drink anyway.

Guy sits there half the evening drinking rum and cokes. Finally the bartender can't take it anymore because he is fascinated at such a well trained creature.

"Hey, where did you get that thing anyway?"

Parrot says, "SQUAK, Africa, there's millions of 'em. Phone Post 3.0
I think thats sposed to start a black guy Phone Post 3.0
6/14/14 3:11 AM
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Boxerdog
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Yes. Can't edit on phone. Thanks. Voted you up. Phone Post 3.0
6/14/14 3:14 AM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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Boxerdog - Yes. Can't edit on phone. Thanks. Voted you up. Phone Post 3.0
Back at ya.


Some good jokes on here. Even the shit ones were great.

I work with a lot of smart asses who have never had sex, I made this thread to fuel new material to offend them with. Phone Post 3.0
6/14/14 3:36 AM
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Built Like A Fedor
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I like jokes Phone Post 3.0
6/14/14 3:38 AM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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Built Like A Fedor - I like jokes Phone Post 3.0
You like money and sex too? Phone Post 3.0
6/14/14 8:17 PM
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Boxerdog
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So a guy arrives early to his girlfriends but she is not home yet. However sister is there and after an uncomfortable silence she says "wanna fuck before Sis gets here?" Buddy thinks about it and gets up and starts walking to the door. All of a sudden the side closet opens up and his girlfriend pops out an says "you passed the test and I now trust you completely". MORAL OF THE STORY.........always keep condoms in the car!!! Phone Post 3.0
6/15/14 1:51 AM
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Dbulletproof
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Garbage man stops his truck at the back of the CHinese restaurant.

He bangs on the door and a little Chinese guy answers.

Chinese guy looks at bin man.

Chinese Guy: Hallo!

Garbage man: Hi. Where's your wheelie bin?

Chinese guy looks at him confused

Chinese Guy: My wheelie bin?

Garbage man: Yes, where's your wheelie bin?

Chinese Guy: Oh my wheelie bin! I wheelie bin working.

Garbage man: What?

Chinese Guy: I wheelie bin working.

Garbage man: No, you misunderstand. Where's your wheelie bin?

Chinese Guy: I telling you, I wheelie bin working!

Garbage man: No, your wheelie bin. WHEELIE. BIN.

Chinese guy gets angry.

Chinese Guy: I telling you, I WHEELIE BIN working.

Garbage man gets pissed off.

Garbage man: Listen buddy, you tell me where your wheelie bin is right now, or there's gonna be trouble you understand?

Chinese Guy: Ok ok! I telling you...... I wheelie bin wanking.
6/15/14 2:20 AM
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so cal trucker
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MattyECB -

Here's one I actually made up so it's not very good, 

 

Who's James Bond's favorite celebrity bartender?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....Michael J Fox 

What is Michael J. Fox's favorite pizza joint?

Shakey's Phone Post 3.0
6/15/14 2:57 AM
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tumbado
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. Phone Post 3.0
6/15/14 3:27 AM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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so cal trucker -
MattyECB -

Here's one I actually made up so it's not very good, 

 

Who's James Bond's favorite celebrity bartender?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....Michael J Fox 

What is Michael J. Fox's favorite pizza joint?

Shakey's Phone Post 3.0
You motherfuckers better stop picking on m j fox.

Is that where you wanna be when baby jesus comes back? Phone Post 3.0
6/15/14 11:49 AM
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CT81
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Why didn't hitler drink whiskey?
It made him mean Phone Post 3.0
6/15/14 11:50 AM
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CT81
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What did the Jewish pedophile say?
Easy on the candy kid. Phone Post 3.0
6/15/14 3:12 PM
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Ian King
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RayRaysFunhouse - Read this on another thread but by far my favorite:

What's the difference between chickpeas and lentils?
I've never paid $200 to have a lentil on my face. Phone Post 3.0
Voted up lol, I posted this in the termite walks into a bar thread. Phone Post 3.0
6/16/14 1:27 AM
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Dbulletproof
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Little boy runs down stairs on his eleventh birthday.

"Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I am!"

"Uh... you're ten right?"

"No! No! Guess again!"

"Oh that's right! Eleven! Happy birthday son! Now go and see your grandma in the kitchen."

Little boy runs to his grandma.

"Grandma! Grandma! Guess how old I am!"

"Let me see"

She says as she grabs him by the waist of his pants and pulls him forward. She puts her hand down his pants and grabs his balls.

She squeezes the left ball, the right ball, rolls them around, gives them a good shake and one final squeeze.

She pulls her hand out and smells it.

"You're eleven."

"How.. how did you guess?"

"I heard your father in the living room."
6/16/14 1:28 AM
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Phuckles
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What's Michael J. Foxs favorite flavor of ice cream?


















Doesn't matter he's just going to fucking drop it anyway. Phone Post 3.0
6/16/14 2:27 AM
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Do_U_Even_Lift
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Three men are captured by a tribe of mindless savages while exploring a remote jungle. After being tied up and brought before the entire village the chief gives the men two options: to be sodomized by all the males in the village and be let go, or to choose death. The first two men choose to live and after they choose the chief screams BUNGA BUNGA! and they are sodomized and let go. The third man chooses to be killed so the chief screams DEATH BY BUNGA BUNGA!
6/16/14 2:36 AM
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Do_U_Even_Lift
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While mapping out undiscovered regions of North America three pioneers are captured by indians for trespassing. They are given one last request before they are killed. The first man asks for a knife and slits his own throat. The chief says that was a noble request so he instructs the body to be skinned and used to make a canoe. The second man asks for an ax and splits his head open. The chief says the same. The third man asks for a fork, as soon as he is given the fork he begins stabbing himself in the chest repeatedly yelling, "You aren't making a fucking canoe out of me!"
6/16/14 2:53 AM
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Good Sir
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OP is a joke Phone Post 3.0
6/25/14 12:45 AM
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Dbulletproof
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Way to kill the thread Good Sir, jeez...
6/25/14 3:39 AM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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Dbulletproof - Way to kill the thread Good Sir, jeez...
If hes waiting for my comeback









He'll have to scrape it off his moms teeth Phone Post 3.0
6/25/14 3:42 AM
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend
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Think thats supposed to be if he wants*


Your right OP is a fucking hack Phone Post 3.0
6/25/14 11:52 AM
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WaltJ
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WeidmanBrokeTheLEGend -
Dbulletproof - Way to kill the thread Good Sir, jeez...
If hes waiting for my comeback









He'll have to scrape it off his moms teeth Phone Post 3.0
Lol Phone Post 3.0
6/25/14 1:36 PM
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indianrob
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How does a black woman know when she is pregnant?

When she removes her tampon all the cotton is picked. Phone Post 3.0

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