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6/11/14 9:38 AM
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DeathByTriangle
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THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE MATRiX - 
DeathByTriangle - 
THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE MATRiX - it is a tough job. but is it any harder than getting up at 5 am, getting out in the freezing cold to drive to work, knowing your not coming for the next 12 hrs, work someplace without the comfort of things you have at home, deal with shitty co-workers and mean bosses, plus rush hour traffic and have ZERO rest/nap times while your bosses are watching cartoons or are at school, only to get home and hear how hard the wife has it like you didnt do shit but apparently sit at Great America and ride roller coasters all day?

THATS When it becomes a problem!

Meh. I still say parenting young children is still more demanding than any 12hr shift I work. Wake up at 5 for work? Wake up at 6 with kids (plus when they wake at night). Stuck in rush hour at work... Sit abd quietly be with your own thoughts, listen to radio, make uninterrupted phone calls.. Pee, poop, EAT, uninterrupted. Heck, shower.

 


sorry, sounds like my mom. any other job = meh, MINE is THE TOUGHEST BY FAR!

lol, rush hour (or driving) isnt just traffic, its also dealing with assholes and near accidents all the time.

stressed out at home with the kids, meh put on some cartoons for them and sit quietly with your thoughts in the other room.

see how easy it is to make light of it!

Did you even read what I wrote?

 

than any 12 hr shift that I work (keyword "I").

im a nurse. Someone else's 12 hr shift may be more demanding than mine. Personally, I enjoy jobs that are physical because exercise is a high and having a smashing body without losing time in your day is awesome too. In my opinion.. A desk worker is much more miserable than a laborer.. Unless one actually likes sitting in their ass all day

6/11/14 9:40 AM
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DeathByTriangle
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RobGotti - 
DeathByTriangle - 
RobGotti - It's not difficult, but it is draining.

I am a single Dad with a 3.5 yr old son and a 7 month old daughter, I run my own business from home.

My son goes off to day care and I look after my daughter in between working during the day and catching up at night.
My missus left saying she couldn't handle it, I just think some women have been so pampered and Molly coddled all their lives, as soon as it gets a bit tough they cannot handle it and bail.

It's draining, but it's never a burden, I get to see my kids grow up right in front of me, I have all the time in the world to spend with them, get to take my son to football and watch him run around and when he is at school in the day, I get to work and in between look after my gorgeous daughter.


That's what it is by "difficult". The draining aspect. The only other job I can compare it to is being a full time caregiver for a bed bound adult with high medical needs that still eats by mouth and needs to be fed and toileted. Draining as fuck having to be responsible for literally every aspect of another persons life. I think ppl that think its a breeze are doing a shitty job (fast food, too much tv, never doing good hygiene, never putting in quality time/teaching, etc...) put those things in and it's draining. It's great and worth it if the ppl around you are supportive. But the 1 consistency I see among the complaints of stay-at-home moms is the lack of respect for their position in the family. May not be bringing in income but quite literally save thousands a year in childcare expense (daycare for 2 children will cost us $20,000/year... 20 fucking thousand... Not to mention stay-at-home moms tend to budget well as its not always grab n go. But an unsupportive significant other will routinely bring up how they are the breadwinner and either directly or indirectly place other roles on the stay-at-home parent that a perfectly capable adult can and should do themselves (throwing their trash in the garbage, putting their dirty dishware away after use, putting dirty laundry In appropriate place, and basically picking up after their messes. It's hard enough keeping up with the messes of young children but uberly frustrating when you have to walk behind and entitled able-bodied adult). Then the biggest thing of all... The breadwinner/working spouse coming in and fucking up a routine. Seems insignificant but probably the biggest complaint of stay at homers. It's equivalent to someone coming into your work and throwing all the papers off the desk to the ground of a project that you've been working on for months and got it perfect. That asshole that scrambles the papers of a finished project is the workin spouse coming home and doing what they want and not following the rules layed out by the home parent (which not only should be followed out of respect, but because children thrive on routine. And to jack shit up creates a harder work day for the homer).

So, it's not rocket science hard, it's mentally draining hard, which can FEEL physical when there's never a break allowed or support given.


I'm not sure what you are going on about? I agree it's draining, but not difficult by any stretch of the imagination.

Signed,
Single Dad of a 3.5 yr old boy, 7 month old girl, who runs his own business from home while looking after my daughter all day. No help from anyone else, maybe women are just not cut out to handle raising kids.

Um.. You realize I agree with you and voted you up for your single dad efforts.

 

or are you all so bent in disagreeing with me on everything that you see right past the points I make. I said its not rocket science, just demanding.

6/11/14 9:41 AM
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THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE MATRiX
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sadic1 - I think it's impossible and illogical to say that being s stay at home is the hardest job. What job is the hardest is subjective and a matter of individual circumstance. In my wife's case, I actually think what she does with our 6 kids is harder than breaking rocks all day. It's physically backbreaking, but again, that's just our specific circumstances because she is raising 5 normal kids plus our 3 year old who can't crawl or walk yet who basically gets carried around from one therapeutic exercise to the next all day. She's like a freaking saint. And in general, one thing I don't know that working people can fully appreciate is that staying at home with kids is a job that just never really stops or takes a break. Kids have to eat, shit, and learn every day, regardless of how you are feeling or what you think you "need" for other forms of personal fulfillment, and I think that can wear people down.

But the truth is, regardless of how easy or hard, being a stay at home mom is the most important and impactful job there is in terms of it's positive and negative potential impact on society at large. Anyone who thinks their professional career is more important or meaningful than that are fooling themselves. Forming close, loving attachments with family members and the resulting ability to perceive and process emotions is a key element and indicator of long term emotional health and prosperity. Offloading the caregiving role to a professional service staffed by strangers means that the values and modes of emotional relationship your kid is learning are those of a stranger, not you. If I wanted my kids to embody the values and behaviors of a stranger who is working for not so much money chasing other people's kids around, I'd have married them instead.

all true and very well said. and in all fairness, alot of dads have jobs that require constant work or attention all day and come home to help with all the kids and life, home stuff as well. so they get to deal with fun from both ends of the spectrum and it never ends.
6/11/14 9:42 AM
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Nonlinear
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If your wife stays home and your kid is a terror who writes on the walls and shit then your wife is simply a terrible mother.
6/11/14 9:47 AM
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Nonlinear
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Any activity you can do in your pajamas (h/t Bill Burr) and can't get fired or punished for poor performance isn't a job.
6/11/14 9:48 AM
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Mark1
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If it is so difficult and draining, how can they find the time to document every little cute event on Facebook? Or play candy crush? Or pin shit on Pinterest? Or share recipes for vegan no-bake peanut free blondies? Or spread anti-vaccination stupidity all day long?

Mark Phone Post 3.0
6/11/14 9:51 AM
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Nonlinear
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Edited: 06/11/14 9:51 AM
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wrong post.
6/11/14 9:52 AM
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Nonlinear
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RobGotti - 
Nonlinear - Any activity you can do in your pajamas (h/t Bill Burr) and can't get fired or punished for poor performance isn't a job.

What stay at home parent spends any amount of time in their pj's?

Who cares? It isn't like they can get fired for being terrible moms, which most mommy club mothers are.
6/11/14 9:54 AM
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Nonlinear
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RobGotti - 
Mark1 - If it is so difficult and draining, how can they find the time to document every little cute event on Facebook? Or play candy crush? Or pin shit on Pinterest? Or share recipes for vegan no-bake peanut free blondies? Or spread anti-vaccination stupidity all day long?

Mark Phone Post 3.0

Is this what your misses does all day? You might want to have a word with her as she may be ignoring your kids if she has time for this shit all day, having said that, are you posting on the UG from work? Tell me again how hard you work.

Oh please. Unless you live in a pig sty it takes less than an hour of labor to keep the house clean and if your house is large you have a nanny/cleaner who comes in and does it for you.

Please stop pretending like being unemployed is difficult.
6/11/14 9:54 AM
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Mark1
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RobGotti -
Mark1 - If it is so difficult and draining, how can they find the time to document every little cute event on Facebook? Or play candy crush? Or pin shit on Pinterest? Or share recipes for vegan no-bake peanut free blondies? Or spread anti-vaccination stupidity all day long?

Mark Phone Post 3.0

Is this what your misses does all day? You might want to have a word with her as she may be ignoring your kids if she has time for this shit all day, having said that, are you posting on the UG from work? Tell me again how hard you work.
No. This is what we see on Facebook all day long. That's 90% of Facebook activity. Stay at home moms commenting, liking and posting things all day.

Mark Phone Post 3.0
6/11/14 9:55 AM
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disbeliever
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Why are you on facebook so much?
6/11/14 9:57 AM
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Mark1
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And how hard I work isn't open for debate, as I have never claimed to have the "hardest job in the world".

But, I was answering emails last night after dinner, which is pretty common for me. And I will be spending the rest of the week traveling for work, if that makes a difference.

Mark Phone Post 3.0
6/11/14 9:59 AM
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Nonlinear
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Mark1 - 
RobGotti -
Mark1 - If it is so difficult and draining, how can they find the time to document every little cute event on Facebook? Or play candy crush? Or pin shit on Pinterest? Or share recipes for vegan no-bake peanut free blondies? Or spread anti-vaccination stupidity all day long?

Mark Phone Post 3.0

Is this what your misses does all day? You might want to have a word with her as she may be ignoring your kids if she has time for this shit all day, having said that, are you posting on the UG from work? Tell me again how hard you work.
No. This is what we see on Facebook all day long. That's 90% of Facebook activity. Stay at home moms commenting, liking and posting things all day.

Mark Phone Post 3.0

True story. The fastest/largest segment of photo sharers on Facebook are attention seeking mommy cult weirdos sharing pictures of their brats. My friend and his wife have an ugly baby contest every day on Facebook where they see who can find the ugliest baby picture uploaded that day.
6/11/14 10:22 AM
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GOREILLAMAN
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Having kids is for suckers. Phone Post 3.0
6/11/14 10:31 AM
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Unseen
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Change the word "hard" for "important" and I may agree.

What's funny is that most mothers probably have very short work histories prior to having kids. Part time fast food in high school, part time at clothing store in college then an office job for three or four years then married and a baby. Phone Post 3.0
6/11/14 10:46 AM
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oldnslow
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Nonlinear - Any activity you can do in your pajamas (h/t Bill Burr) and can't get fired or punished for poor performance isn't a job.

Actually, if you screw up stay at home parenting too badly you get punished by your kids being taken away by the government and you possibly going to jail.

In 2.5 weeks I will transitioning from the paid workforce to being a stay at home dad. So I will report back on how easy or hard it is.

Actually, I know it's hard. But will report back anyway.
6/11/14 10:46 AM
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FastAndBulbous
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It's equivalent to someone coming into your work and throwing all the papers off the desk to the ground of a project that you've been working on for months and got it perfect. That asshole that scrambles the papers of a finished project is the workin spouse coming home and doing what they want and not following the rules layed out by the home parent


So you see your husband as your subordinate employee, and you're the boss who makes the rules.
6/11/14 11:29 AM
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DeathByTriangle
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FastAndBulbous - 
It's equivalent to someone coming into your work and throwing all the papers off the desk to the ground of a project that you've been working on for months and got it perfect. That asshole that scrambles the papers of a finished project is the workin spouse coming home and doing what they want and not following the rules layed out by the home parent


So you see your husband as your subordinate employee, and you're the boss who makes the rules.

No, he's my teammate who goes with the best game plan layed out by the captain and occasionally fouls out.

6/11/14 11:30 AM
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DeathByTriangle
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Unseen - Change the word "hard" for "important" and I may agree.

What's funny is that most mothers probably have very short work histories prior to having kids. Part time fast food in high school, part time at clothing store in college then an office job for three or four years then married and a baby. Phone Post 3.0

What's your point? Do you want women to be in the workforce past ideal childbearing age just to prove a point that she can do other things too?

6/11/14 11:32 AM
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DeathByTriangle
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oldnslow - 
Nonlinear - Any activity you can do in your pajamas (h/t Bill Burr) and can't get fired or punished for poor performance isn't a job.

Actually, if you screw up stay at home parenting too badly you get punished by your kids being taken away by the government and you possibly going to jail.

In 2.5 weeks I will transitioning from the paid workforce to being a stay at home dad. So I will report back on how easy or hard it is.

Actually, I know it's hard. But will report back anyway.

Best luck my brother 

6/11/14 11:32 AM
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In Limbo
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sadic1 - My wife raises and homeschools 6 kids, including one with special needs. It's a lot harder than my job. Most women these days have 1 or 2 kids, send them to daycare, then school, and act like they are dying, though.

i used to live in this town right outside NYC and id see stay at home moms with ONE child and a NANNY along with her to help while the mom gets her nails done, drinks starbucks, and does yoga during the day

 

thats sad

 

props to your wife and YOU for having 6 kids

 

wow

6/11/14 11:37 AM
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Aaronrodgers=GOAT
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I would gladly be a stay at home dad. Phone Post 3.0
6/11/14 12:00 PM
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jasperb
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cnc_paul - Let's just see when it's not a baby anymore. Running around rubbing shit all over the walls, and you don't get 5 sec of time to yourself. Honestly I don't know how my wife does it. I wouldn't or couldn't do her job. I applaud anyone who gives up their job to raise children.
Just my two cents. Phone Post 3.0
I've done it with two kids at the same time, it's not fucking hard. Phone Post 3.0
6/11/14 12:10 PM
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CDarwin
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This debate is bust.

Caring for very small kids and kids that don't scream all nigth or shit themselves are two different beasts.

The whole stay at home moms = a job thing is about housewives claiming that what they do is equal to having a job.

When the kids are 2, 7 and 12 alike!!!

Is it tiresome to take care of your own 1 year old? Yes. But that isn't really the issue here. Phone Post 3.0
6/11/14 1:25 PM
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oldnslow
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DeathByTriangle - 
oldnslow - 
Nonlinear - Any activity you can do in your pajamas (h/t Bill Burr) and can't get fired or punished for poor performance isn't a job.

Actually, if you screw up stay at home parenting too badly you get punished by your kids being taken away by the government and you possibly going to jail.

In 2.5 weeks I will transitioning from the paid workforce to being a stay at home dad. So I will report back on how easy or hard it is.

Actually, I know it's hard. But will report back anyway.

Best luck my brother 


Thanks. The wife took the first 2 years of our daughter's life off to stay at home and raise her. Daughter is now 3 and a half and kicking ass in pre-school. Our son is 2 and half months old and my wife's leave is up July 1. She makes more than I do and recently invested in a masters degree, so it's her turn to focus on her career while I raise this one.

I tried to work something out with my employer of 16 years where I could work 20 hours/week from home, but they suck and said no. So, I am taking 3 months of FMLA leave and then resigning. Fuck 'em. It will be a financially tight, but rewarding, couple of years. Maybe I'll find some part time consulting work on the side, but I really want to focus on the kids.

My wife did an awesome job with our daughter, and I want to replicate that as much as possible.

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