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6/12/14 6:02 PM
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DeathByTriangle
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namrepus - With the first kid, life was easy for my wife. No complaints from her. Now with a second one 2 years apart, life is not that easy. No fuckin' way would I stay at home with two kids. They nap on different schedules and completely make the house a mess non-stop. Phone Post 3.0

This is my life right now.  currently pumping the boobs to collect milk for when I work on the weekends, am able to do so at the moment cuz the 4-month old JUST woke and is content playing with a block... But low and behold the potty training 2-yr old just ran in here 2 min ago with a shit streak hanging out his crack because he had to dump , but I was mid letdown (milk stream) so couldn't get up when he went to the bathroom. Meanwhile the baby tips over and lost the block (not happy anymore). I stop pumping to get her up , wipe the 2 yr olds ass and toilet seat, praying I can finish this pump before the timer goes off in the oven.

 

speaking of timer, that would be that sound that JUST went off.

6/12/14 6:28 PM
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Kneeblock
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DragonWrath - 

There are two ways in which a job can be hard or difficult:

1) How physically or mentally taxing it is.  These are jobs many people don't want to do.  Examples:  Breaking rocks in the hot sun for 10 hours straight, Taking 100s of calls a day in a high volume call center, etc

2) How much skill or talent it takes to do it correctly.  These are jobs that most people can't do.  Examples: Neurosurgeon, professional athlete, etc.

I don't have kids, and enduring them for more than 15 minutes at Thanksgiving & Christmnas sounds awful to me, so I can see it being a hard job that falls under #1.  That said, all but the dumbest people can do it, so it's pretty much on the bottom of the scale when it comes to #2. 

So, yeah, I don't doubt it can be very hard at times.  But, it's ridiculous when a stay at home starts seeking attention by claiming it's more challenging than any of the jobs that actually require talent.

 


This exact kind of thinking is why there are so many screwed up children. 

No jobs require talent. They require talent + effort to do them well. Similarly, parenting requires talent and effort to make sure your kids don't grow up to be obnoxious, annoying idiots. You say "all but the dumbest people can do it" but you're very mistaken. Intelligence is no bellwether on being good at parenting. 

#2 is actually just as burdensome if not more so than #1. 

I thought being a stay at home dad would be a dream come true until I became a dad. 

6/12/14 9:48 PM
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DragonWrath
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Kneeblock - 
DragonWrath - 

There are two ways in which a job can be hard or difficult:

1) How physically or mentally taxing it is.  These are jobs many people don't want to do.  Examples:  Breaking rocks in the hot sun for 10 hours straight, Taking 100s of calls a day in a high volume call center, etc

2) How much skill or talent it takes to do it correctly.  These are jobs that most people can't do.  Examples: Neurosurgeon, professional athlete, etc.

I don't have kids, and enduring them for more than 15 minutes at Thanksgiving & Christmnas sounds awful to me, so I can see it being a hard job that falls under #1.  That said, all but the dumbest people can do it, so it's pretty much on the bottom of the scale when it comes to #2. 

So, yeah, I don't doubt it can be very hard at times.  But, it's ridiculous when a stay at home starts seeking attention by claiming it's more challenging than any of the jobs that actually require talent.

 


This exact kind of thinking is why there are so many screwed up children. 

No jobs require talent. They require talent + effort to do them well. Similarly, parenting requires talent and effort to make sure your kids don't grow up to be obnoxious, annoying idiots. You say "all but the dumbest people can do it" but you're very mistaken. Intelligence is no bellwether on being good at parenting. 

#2 is actually just as burdensome if not more so than #1. 

I thought being a stay at home dad would be a dream come true until I became a dad. 


I've met plenty of people that aren't all that bright, but still manage to have well behaved children. Sorry, but I just don't buy that it's the atom splitting process you portray.
6/12/14 11:05 PM
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DeathByTriangle
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^i agree. It's mostly instinctual. You don't have to be a genius but just knowing to teach your kids manners, respect, morals, to have a conscience, hygiene, fed good foods.. LOVE THEM, don't abuse them physically, mentally or emotionally.... The things that make them functional humans regardless If they live in a society that values tribal traditions or college degrees.

All that should be instinctual. 

But like I said earlier... Some ppl are defective.

6/12/14 11:27 PM
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LittleBoots
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Ive done both and am currently working. I would kill to stay at home again with our 1yr old(others are 6 and 4) but its financially not doable.

My husband was a stay at home dad for a while......he nearly went insane, and I still did all the cooking and cleaning and child related things.

6/12/14 11:31 PM
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LittleBoots
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DeathByTriangle - 
Ryazzo - The only thing that stay at home moms have it made is not having to commute. The actually job imo isn't easier than other jobs.

Leaving the house to do anything can be a project with an infant, toddler. Or both. 

 

.:cringe as grocery store trips::


My middle son(now 4) was really difficult to take to the store. I seriously would leave the store crying because he would make it so difficult.

6/12/14 11:40 PM
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LittleBoots
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DeathByTriangle - 

^i agree. It's mostly instinctual. You don't have to be a genius but just knowing to teach your kids manners, respect, morals, to have a conscience, hygiene, fed good foods.. LOVE THEM, don't abuse them physically, mentally or emotionally.... The things that make them functional humans regardless If they live in a society that values tribal traditions or college degrees.

All that should be instinctual. 

But like I said earlier... Some ppl are defective.


Now that I work in a daycare, I see that there are actually a LOT of people who are defective in this area.

Really just not even parenting, things that I thought were normal to teach your kids, not even in a "teaching" manner but by way of actually talking to your children, some people cant even manage.

Basic concepts like you mentioned, that should be known by 4-5(or sooner) are so foreign to these kids that Im pretty sure their parents pay absolutly no attention to them above making sure they dont get cps called on them. It makes me angry at their parents and to try that much harder to give them what they clearly are not getting at home!

6/13/14 12:13 AM
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DeathByTriangle
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LittleBoots - 
DeathByTriangle - 

^i agree. It's mostly instinctual. You don't have to be a genius but just knowing to teach your kids manners, respect, morals, to have a conscience, hygiene, fed good foods.. LOVE THEM, don't abuse them physically, mentally or emotionally.... The things that make them functional humans regardless If they live in a society that values tribal traditions or college degrees.

All that should be instinctual. 

But like I said earlier... Some ppl are defective.


Now that I work in a daycare, I see that there are actually a LOT of people who are defective in this area.

Really just not even parenting, things that I thought were normal to teach your kids, not even in a "teaching" manner but by way of actually talking to your children, some people cant even manage.

Basic concepts like you mentioned, that should be known by 4-5(or sooner) are so foreign to these kids that Im pretty sure their parents pay absolutly no attention to them above making sure they dont get cps called on them. It makes me angry at their parents and to try that much harder to give them what they clearly are not getting at home!


In their defense... Daycare workers spent more quality, waking hours with the kid than the parents. Parents get them for dinner and bedtime. They pretty muh learn everything from you guys.

its sad.

 

im a strong female and female views (duh), but even I can admit the feminist movement has murdered family structure... But if it wasn't for women made to feel less than it would've never been so popular. 

6/13/14 2:28 AM
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IIPlaymakerII
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It's all about how you view it. Here in the Nordic European countries. Raising a kid is a job. I am on papa leave right now with my 14 month old plus I have a 5 year old. I get paid 90% of my Salary to stay home and raise my kids. Being from Merica I thought this was crazy. But I see there are much less assholes here and Sweden promotes a strong value on family. And I get to bond with my children. My electrician job can wait. Family first Phone Post 3.0
6/13/14 3:38 AM
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hawaiidave
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Who said its hard?? My wife stays at home because it's easy! Phone Post 3.0
6/13/14 7:37 AM
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oldnslow
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IIPlaymakerII - It's all about how you view it. Here in the Nordic European countries. Raising a kid is a job. I am on papa leave right now with my 14 month old plus I have a 5 year old. I get paid 90% of my Salary to stay home and raise my kids. Being from Merica I thought this was crazy. But I see there are much less assholes here and Sweden promotes a strong value on family. And I get to bond with my children. My electrician job can wait. Family first Phone Post 3.0
Not to derail this thread, but how was it moving from the US of A to Sweden? Big cultural shift?

I like a lot of the Nordic countries' social policies, at leat from afar. How do they hold up once you're actually experiencing them? Phone Post 3.0
6/13/14 7:52 AM
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DeathByTriangle
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IIPlaymakerII - It's all about how you view it. Here in the Nordic European countries. Raising a kid is a job. I am on papa leave right now with my 14 month old plus I have a 5 year old. I get paid 90% of my Salary to stay home and raise my kids. Being from Merica I thought this was crazy. But I see there are much less assholes here and Sweden promotes a strong value on family. And I get to bond with my children. My electrician job can wait. Family first Phone Post 3.0

This is 'murica... Where fuck the family and children are on the bottom rung of society and their development is at the bottom list if priorities 

6/13/14 8:13 AM
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NorthernHospitality
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I seriously have no idea how American women can do it...being on mat leave for 3 months??? We get a year off in Canada..my daughter was walking before I went back to work... Stay at home moms do have it easier than mothers who work... Dbt's situation is tough...staying at home all week and working on weekends especially now that you're solo for a bit.

Single mothers who work struggle the most IMO.. Phone Post 3.0
6/13/14 9:54 AM
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MrColdCock
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THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE MATRiX -
DeathByTriangle - 
RobGotti - It's not difficult, but it is draining.

I am a single Dad with a 3.5 yr old son and a 7 month old daughter, I run my own business from home.

My son goes off to day care and I look after my daughter in between working during the day and catching up at night.
My missus left saying she couldn't handle it, I just think some women have been so pampered and Molly coddled all their lives, as soon as it gets a bit tough they cannot handle it and bail.

It's draining, but it's never a burden, I get to see my kids grow up right in front of me, I have all the time in the world to spend with them, get to take my son to football and watch him run around and when he is at school in the day, I get to work and in between look after my gorgeous daughter.


That's what it is by "difficult". The draining aspect. The only other job I can compare it to is being a full time caregiver for a bed bound adult with high medical needs that still eats by mouth and needs to be fed and toileted. Draining as fuck having to be responsible for literally every aspect of another persons life. I think ppl that think its a breeze are doing a shitty job (fast food, too much tv, never doing good hygiene, never putting in quality time/teaching, etc...) put those things in and it's draining. It's great and worth it if the ppl around you are supportive. But the 1 consistency I see among the complaints of stay-at-home moms is the lack of respect for their position in the family. May not be bringing in income but quite literally save thousands a year in childcare expense (daycare for 2 children will cost us $20,000/year... 20 fucking thousand... Not to mention stay-at-home moms tend to budget well as its not always grab n go. But an unsupportive significant other will routinely bring up how they are the breadwinner and either directly or indirectly place other roles on the stay-at-home parent that a perfectly capable adult can and should do themselves (throwing their trash in the garbage, putting their dirty dishware away after use, putting dirty laundry In appropriate place, and basically picking up after their messes. It's hard enough keeping up with the messes of young children but uberly frustrating when you have to walk behind and entitled able-bodied adult). Then the biggest thing of all... The breadwinner/working spouse coming in and fucking up a routine. Seems insignificant but probably the biggest complaint of stay at homers. It's equivalent to someone coming into your work and throwing all the papers off the desk to the ground of a project that you've been working on for months and got it perfect. That asshole that scrambles the papers of a finished project is the workin spouse coming home and doing what they want and not following the rules layed out by the home parent (which not only should be followed out of respect, but because children thrive on routine. And to jack shit up creates a harder work day for the homer).

So, it's not rocket science hard, it's mentally draining hard, which can FEEL physical when there's never a break allowed or support given.


and to be fair, that asshole has to deal with rules and routines all day at the required paid job he has no choice but to do to provide a home and place for stay at home moms to even have a house, life or means to do their job. and MANY Men get hardly any or ZERO thanks for what hey do. LOTS of women think the men just go out the door and come in the door later and somehow they have a house and bills paid and food on the table. like life is just automatic for the working man.

I know, my mother & Sister are this way as well. My mom has ALWAYS Said she worked the hardest and no one could even get a word in about their rough day compared to hers. UNTIL one day there were no kids to raise and bills were piling up and she had to work 5-6 hrs a day as a lunch lady at the school.

and Somehow that job WAS THEE ABSOLUTE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD compared to any one elses jobs.

Am I your dad? Phone Post
6/13/14 10:14 AM
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DeathByTriangle
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NorthernHospitality - I seriously have no idea how American women can do it...being on mat leave for 3 months??? We get a year off in Canada..my daughter was walking before I went back to work... Stay at home moms do have it easier than mothers who work... Dbt's situation is tough...staying at home all week and working on weekends especially now that you're solo for a bit.

Single mothers who work struggle the most IMO.. Phone Post 3.0

The 3 months is a luxury. You're only guaranteed 6-8 weeks. The rest is optional ang typically unpaid. Unless you happen to have 12 weeks of vacation accrued

6/13/14 10:15 AM
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CDarwin
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NorthernHospitality - I seriously have no idea how American women can do it...being on mat leave for 3 months??? We get a year off in Canada..my daughter was walking before I went back to work... Stay at home moms do have it easier than mothers who work... Dbt's situation is tough...staying at home all week and working on weekends especially now that you're solo for a bit.

Single mothers who work struggle the most IMO.. Phone Post 3.0

A year off when a child is born is way more important than a single year of retirement - which strain the economy/taxes/insurance in exactly the same way in the big picture.

Most children lack in dad quantity time (not so called "quality time" which is a euphemism for dad works two jobs and mom none.)

6/13/14 2:33 PM
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MisterFixit
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NorthernHospitality - I seriously have no idea how American women can do it...being on mat leave for 3 months??? We get a year off in Canada..my daughter was walking before I went back to work... Stay at home moms do have it easier than mothers who work... Dbt's situation is tough...staying at home all week and working on weekends especially now that you're solo for a bit.

Single mothers who work struggle the most IMO.. Phone Post 3.0

Single parents that work struggle the most.
6/13/14 2:35 PM
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NorthernHospitality
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MisterFixit - 
NorthernHospitality - I seriously have no idea how American women can do it...being on mat leave for 3 months??? We get a year off in Canada..my daughter was walking before I went back to work... Stay at home moms do have it easier than mothers who work... Dbt's situation is tough...staying at home all week and working on weekends especially now that you're solo for a bit.

Single mothers who work struggle the most IMO.. Phone Post 3.0

Single parents that work struggle the most.

Yes...Single fathers and mothers... I should have pointed that out in the first place.. lol! sorry..hope I didn't offend anyone.

6/13/14 2:38 PM
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MisterFixit
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The fast growing demographic of single fathers get little, if any, acknowledgement, recognition or social support.
6/13/14 2:55 PM
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DeathByTriangle
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MisterFixit - The fast growing demographic of single fathers get little, if any, acknowledgement, recognition or social support.

I've only met 1 man In my lifetime that had sole custody of the kids

6/13/14 3:49 PM
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THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE MATRiX
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DeathByTriangle - 
MisterFixit - The fast growing demographic of single fathers get little, if any, acknowledgement, recognition or social support.

I've only met 1 man In my lifetime that had sole custody of the kids


I personally know 6 dads like this myself! the odd thing is, the women being addicted to Drugs (pills to be specific) are the reason 5 of 6 are single dads! the 6th is due to a death of the mother (car accident).
6/13/14 5:58 PM
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MisterFixit
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DeathByTriangle - 
MisterFixit - The fast growing demographic of single fathers get little, if any, acknowledgement, recognition or social support.

I've only met 1 man In my lifetime that had sole custody of the kids


Hello DeathByTriangle, My name is Misterfixit.

Now you've met 2.

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers/
6/13/14 7:19 PM
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DeathByTriangle
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In my life.. Real life. No offense to you guys. 

I know tons.. Lots. Actually, damn, majority of women I know with kids are single moms, unmarried. Dad either gone or somewhat in the picture. By somewhat I mean minimally. And before the race-tards start talking... This is consistent among blacks, whites, and Hispanics I know.

damn. That's sad

6/14/14 5:22 AM
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THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE MATRiX
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DeathByTriangle - 

In my life.. Real life. No offense to you guys. 

I know tons.. Lots. Actually, damn, majority of women I know with kids are single moms, unmarried. Dad either gone or somewhat in the picture. By somewhat I mean minimally. And before the race-tards start talking... This is consistent among blacks, whites, and Hispanics I know.

damn. That's sad


either way. its tough all around. I applaud you for apparently being one of those parents who's really cares and tries their hardest to raise a family right.

I was going by a counseling center yesterday and saw a sign that everyone reading this thread should think about when it comes to the importance of raising children:

"Its better to try and build up a child than to try and repair an adult"
6/14/14 7:07 AM
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DeathByTriangle
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THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE MATRiX - 
DeathByTriangle - 

In my life.. Real life. No offense to you guys. 

I know tons.. Lots. Actually, damn, majority of women I know with kids are single moms, unmarried. Dad either gone or somewhat in the picture. By somewhat I mean minimally. And before the race-tards start talking... This is consistent among blacks, whites, and Hispanics I know.

damn. That's sad


either way. its tough all around. I applaud you for apparently being one of those parents who's really cares and tries their hardest to raise a family right.

I was going by a counseling center yesterday and saw a sign that everyone reading this thread should think about when it comes to the importance of raising children:

"Its better to try and build up a child than to try and repair an adult"

I am truly blessed for how my 2-yr old behaves. Granted, he has 2yr old moments and still does obnoxious shit that makes me want to slam him... But for the most part he's very well behaved and well-mannered. A lot of ppl like to pin it on the type of person one just is.. But he wasn't born saying "please" "thank you" and "you're welcome"


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