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DantheWolfMan UnderGround >> Sensei's worst nightmare...


7/15/03 10:42 PM
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GaryK
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Edited: 15-Jul-03
Member Since: 26-Mar-02
Posts: 4
 
So I'm teaching the other night--right in the middle of a lesson--and I hear/sense/see the front door to our school open. I look up, almost unconsciously, as I do almost 250 times a day as our students, they're families, and the public come in and out of our school. I'm conditioned to do it. I have to do it. It's a karate school. I have kids in there I have to keep safe. Beyond which, I have to keep an eye on the "action", whether that action is on--or off--the floor. Only on this night, my stomach sinks and I get that weird parent/teacher "Spidey-sense" that something is REALLY wrong. One of my Brown Belt teens is entering the school with a completely smashed in face and somehow, someway, I KNOW that this was no skateboarding accident. I nod to my assistant. She's seen that nod--and my look--before, and immediately takes over class. I approach the teen... "What happened?!" "I got jumped." "WHERE?" "4th of July celebration in town." "HOW?" And then those words I have heard all too often as an (ex) cop and a karate teacher... "I was just standing there..." Just standing there while some punk came up and started mouthing off. Just standing there while the finger pointing and pushing started. Just standing there while someone came up from the side and shattered his nose, blackened his eyes and left one with a nasty hemmorage leaking inside. In the days--and sleepless nights--that have followed, I have heard from the police, the teen's parents and even a PROSPECTIVE MEMBER, all who have questioned me, my integrity and the validity of what we teach... And now I've started questioning myself... Where/how do I begin to explain? Where does my responsibility start--or end--in all of this? Most importantly, how do I get rid of this disgusting feeling I have in my gut? Gary
7/16/03 8:22 AM
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JMullings
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Edited: 16-Jul-03 10:20 AM
Member Since: 31-Jan-02
Posts: 111
Gary, I know you as an instructor, a PDR Coach and leader, a businessman and a "fighter". You are more committed to the truth in training than most others. Brother, you would also fight every single one of your students fights if you could, ....but you cant. Thats why you lay up at nite and stare at the ceiling questioning yourself and system. You care. You yourself have lost fights in the street, in the ring and in the business world. That is going to happen. Every one loses. It is what they do after the battle that dictates their character. Remember what one of the most important aspects of the PDR system are. The ability to dissect and define what went wrong and how to train more effectively for it in the future. Regardless of this students experience, skills and background. This is a great opportunity as a teacher and a leader to further define yourself and what you stand for. When fights are won or lost (and by the way you didnt share what happened with to the other guy), it is not a system, or style that wins or loses, it is the person, it is the "state" they were in at the time of the attack. Their skills, awareness, scenario, etc....you know the equation. You or I could knock Mike Tyson out in a second......as long as he wasnt ready for it and we had a clean shot....in other words sniped him. You mention that he was a "brown belt", thats how you defined him. What is his training experience? Has he trained in any thing other than a classic martial art? Has he trained with you intensly in the PDR curriculum? Does he have a fighters heart or a "kata heart" ? My 11 yr old nephew is a black belt in Kenpo, and my 9 year old niece can knock his ass out. She trains PDR and MMA curriculum. You know how the saying goes......"Dont mistake the trademark for the truth"....brown belt, black belt, white belt....whatever. Dont allow a single event to do anything but improve your teachings and philosophies. Shit happens. Sit back for a second and run yourself through the Cycle of Behavior. Call me. Joe Mullings www.amma.tv
7/16/03 4:16 PM
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GaryK
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Edited: 16-Jul-03
Member Since: 26-Mar-02
Posts: 5
Joe: Thanks for the re-frame, bro. I'll look you up tomorrow. Your friend, Gary
7/16/03 7:05 PM
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Tony Blauer
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Edited: 16-Jul-03 07:10 PM
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 566
Blauer Tactical Systems, Inc.
Joe... :-) nice...I really dont have anything to add to you post from the PDR reframe POV, excellent insights, reframe. Gary: Joe's already said it...PDR research is 'self-correcting'...if you take the info and apply the formula. A guy in class came up to me today and asked me if I would analyze a near death match he walked into in a jail where a deputy was already a hostage and inmates had set an ambush for him (he fought hard until backup arrived)...but before he could give me any technical details I interupted him and told him that he did great.... He said,"But I didnt tell you what happened." I said,"You did great." He looked at me, slightly perplexed... I continued: "Youre not dead, and youre not writing from jail...you did great...now that youve had the fight, did you learn from it? Are you better, meaner, stronger as a result? Will you fight the same way?" The message: What has your student learned, what have you learned, what has the school learned??? In your school is the PDR training more or less important than Brown to Black? Is PDR built into the curriclumn or separate? Does rank matter if it doesnt matter to the opponent? Is your PDR class focused more on the tactics & SPEAR (physical) with less emphasis on the scenarios precontact cues & fear (management & mobilization skills) mental tools)? And so on.... The truth is you teach your heart out and as Joe said you cant fight your students fights for them...as a trainer, coach and mentor, you can only provide the opportunity to train, teach the tools to do, but on judgment day, its up to the student to flip the switch. Gary, you have permission to feel bad, because you care, but not because youre careless. See you at camp. Tony
7/16/03 9:03 PM
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Kerri
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Edited: 16-Jul-03
Member Since: 07-Mar-03
Posts: 13
Gary - I empathize with you. My stomach ached slightly just reading your initial message. One thing Coach Blauer said in February that has stayed with me, on multiple levels, was to "stay current. stay in the 'now'." Learn from the past, but don't let it consume you. Kerri
7/16/03 9:04 PM
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FJJ828
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Edited: 16-Jul-03 09:37 PM
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 732
NAPLES BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU L.L.C.
I go through this whenever my guys share their street experiences with me. There are so many times when they have credited my instruction with being a major influence on the outcome of an arrest. It's easy to sit back and bask in the glow. It's important top remember that it's their own attributes, their courage, their spirit, their intuitive sense, their preparation, etc. Great reframe, Joe. Fletch
7/16/03 10:33 PM
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P
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Edited: 16-Jul-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 152
Gary, I know you feel a little internally outnumbered right now but as your friend and fellow Coach I can tell you that you have the heart and soul of a real educator and that's rare in this day and age. Joe reframed it perfectly, you have an opportunity, all the tools, and the guts to use them. Just so you know, I was that student 17 years ago and that 'realization' (believe it or not I smiled all the way to the hospital) spurred me to find PDR research. I discovered I was "getting really good at the wrong thing." Lucky for your student the right thing is right there. Phil PS: Drop me an e-mail (phil_hughes@hotmail.com), call me anytime, the office will have my numbers.
7/17/03 10:36 AM
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AdamLaClair
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Edited: 17-Jul-03
Member Since: 23-Mar-02
Posts: 815
ImposeYourWill.com
Great posts, guys. Really nice re-frame, Joe. Gary - YOUR STUDENT IS LUCKY to have YOU as his teacher. Consider this: You feel bad because of the outcome of his encounter. However, I know you well enough to know that you will be focusing on preparing him for his NEXT fight - too many instructors would just preach on some esoteric value, and prepare him for the LAST one that is already over with. BIG DIFFERENCE there!! In the end, each of us feels badly when one of our students gets hurt - but it really is NOT your - or the system's - fault!! The system has to be ACKNOWLEDGED and UTILIZED to be effective.....
Gary, you said "Where/how do I begin to explain? Where does my responsibility start--or end--in all of this?" To those that are questioning you, your integrity, and what you teach, you need to make them aware that "I was just standing there....." is a breakdown in the victim's psychological/awareness process. The "Defend" stage will always be suspect if the "Detect" stage wasn't done first. Obvious, but just another one of those "uncommon sense" moments, I think. Without explaining the entire system to them, the 3 D's can usually (in my experience) be explained easily and quickly enough for most people to understand, and see that it is the VICTIM that made himself a "victim," NOT you or the system. You can lead a horse to water………… THAT is where your responsibility begins…….. Getting your student to re-frame and re-define his experience and training goals, get challenged, and avoid succumbing to the fear loop (and thus, “drink”) is where your responsibility (for this altercation) ends. I believe the "disgusting feeling I have in my gut" will go away when you see a few lightbulbs go off - not just in your battered student, but also in your OTHER students, as they peel the next layer off the onion, and gain further insight into the system. Perhaps even within yourself. :) Keep your head high, brother!! You are one of the GOOD ones out there!!!!!! Adam LaClair
7/17/03 11:58 AM
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RealStudent
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Edited: 17-Jul-03
Member Since: 12-Sep-02
Posts: 4
Gary: We've never met. I know you from these posts, and from a few years I spent on George Mattson's Uechi-Ryu Martial Arts Forum. I know you are an exceptionally conscientious martial scientist and researcher - Uechi, TCMS, Krav Maga, F.A.S.T., etc. And I know what a hell of a lot of people think about you. One can make some fairly accurate judgments about a person from the regard in which he is held by others. For example: George holds you in very high regard: obviously, else you wouldn't have your Forum on his board, let alone the number of good things he's written about you. Van holds you in high regard. Bill holds you in high regard. in short, everyone there holds you in high regard. PDR-wise: Tony holds you in high regard; Adam hold you in high regard; Phil holds you in high regard; Joe holds you in high regard, etc., etc. And, for what it's worth, I hold you in very high regard. Now, are we wrong? All of us? I don't practice law in the People's Republic of Massachusetts, but if you want to write/talk about issues (or any thing at all), recognizing that my opinion is not of one trained in Massachusetts law, drop me a line or twelve (Notanotherlesson@yahoo.com). Consider this, habibi: If, in fact, there were something that could be done to attack proof each and every one of your students, under every and all circumstances, would not you have found it a long, long time ago and put it into practice? Make better that which you can.... Murray Porath aka RealStudent/ Student
7/21/03 12:41 PM
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Sean Mulligan
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Edited: 21-Jul-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 56
Great Re-frame Joe! This is probably one of the most important threads for Instructors in this or any other system or style. To add to Joe's post...remember the 'Three Fights'. As an Instructor, we face the same challenges as our students and need to learn/grow from their experiences as we do our own. As it was said above, this is what defines our character. Your Integrity will allow you to address this situation in both a proffessional and educational manner. Thanks for sharing and we'll see you later this week. Sean
7/22/03 6:09 PM
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GaryK
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Edited: 22-Jul-03
Member Since: 26-Mar-02
Posts: 6
TEAM: Thank you for your time and consideration in responding to my initial "cry for help". You have in turns educated me, inspired me, strengthened me and humbled me with your sincere concern for someone who is to many of you a relative "stranger". As I often tell my students, the most important and meaningful relationships in your life will develop through your martial arts training if you approach it seriously and sincerely. I can certainly see that truism again coming to life here. Thank you--ALL! Here is what I have told EVERYONE at my school since that incident. It represents my more than 2 decades of training and the VERY ESSENSE of what I believe lies at the heart of BCTMS training and teaching: 1.) Recognize Danger: Let's face it--if we're open to the idea that our safety is OUR responsibility, the danger that threatens us is NOT that hard to identify/find. There are fewer "snipers" out there than we may think. 2.) Put Your GODDAMN Hands Up: The NVP is at once your window of opportunity, your recognition of the (potential) danger, your moral/legal mandate to attempt to diffuse, your first line of defense, your CWCT, your Trojan Horse, your EASIEST OPTION! The list is endless. 3.) Decide if You're Running Away From or THROUGH the BG: Draw the proverbial line in the sand. Create a "Red Zone" in your mind, in space or on the ground, and as soon as a person crosses it, run away as fast and as far as you can, or bring so much pain to the encounter that the scumbag regrets leaving their hole to forrage for victims that day. I taught these 3 principles to our 7 year olds and our 17 year olds. I told our Black Belt class and our Cardio class. I told the parents and I had a 5 minute conversation with our mailman about it too. Thanks to you and to Coach Blauer's teaching, my resolve has never been stronger. I feel that my understanding has never been deeper. And, now, I feel that I and my students will never have a better opportunity to learn to be safer than the one that is before them right now. With sincere respect, Gary
7/23/03 7:46 AM
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JMullings
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Edited: 23-Jul-03
Member Since: 31-Jan-02
Posts: 112
Bravo Gary, Bravo Joe Mullings www.amma.tv
7/23/03 11:57 AM
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P
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Edited: 23-Jul-03
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
Posts: 154
Gary, it looks like you drew your line in the sand :-) Kudos! Phil
7/24/03 9:38 AM
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AdamLaClair
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Edited: 24-Jul-03
Member Since: 23-Mar-02
Posts: 831
ImposeYourWill.com
Awesome, Gary. :) I'd say those around you just got a little "safer" than they were before this incident..... everything happens for a REASON. Adam
7/25/03 10:32 PM
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RichardWagner
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Edited: 25-Jul-03
Member Since: 15-Nov-02
Posts: 660
ttt
7/25/03 10:32 PM
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RichardWagner
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Edited: 25-Jul-03
Member Since: 15-Nov-02
Posts: 661
ttt

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