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Team Quest Fight Club >> The Law Responds To The 2 Tonys


5/3/04 12:26 PM
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Hartnett420
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Edited: 03-May-04
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Dear Tony;

 

Oh, Tony, Tony, Tony..... Where do I begin? I am absolutely overcome by your interview. I could sit here at my keyboard and comment on it until there were cobwebs an inch thick on the monitor screen like an old 'haunted house' movie, and still not do it the justice it deserves. It is a masterpiece of its kind; I salute you. Approaching it, and attempting to analyze it critically, has been a daunting task. But do it I must. I am sending this reply in care of insidefighting as a gift to you. Consider it a kind of... mental lens. Perhaps you will see things a bit differently through it.

You may be wondering, am I addressing Mr. Fryklund, or Mr. Caiazzo? A fair question...once I got over how amazingly cool it was that they have the same name!! So for the balance of this reply, when I use the name "Tony", I am referring to Mr. Fryklund; and when I use the name "Stupid", I am referring to Mr. Caiazzo. Keep in mind, however, that all readers of this reply are more than welcome to join us..... so let's all take a ride together, shall we? Next stop is "Planet Fryklund". A word of warning to all my passengers: Buckle up, and secure all small children. It's going to be a bumpy ride........

First, how about a few quotes from our hero? They will serve as a shining example of the ghastly intellectual carnage that can occur when the compulsion to speak overwhelms the necessity to think.

5/3/04 12:28 PM
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Hartnett420
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Edited: 03-May-04 12:24 PM
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"I started back in 1997 in UFC 14, and that was really before I was a fighter."

(Magnificent. How about..."I first went into space in 1997, and that was really before I became an Astronaut..")

"I had some reputable instructors"

"I didn't have any real trainers to work with"

(Those guys who 'pulled some strings' for you must feel rewarded by your gratitude. You managed to correct yourself and call them bums before you were done)

"It's always going to be a different guy day to day"

"You're only really talking about three or four guys in the world"

(Apparently, years are quite short on "Planet Fryklund")

"But if your name proceeds itself, then people are going to take recognition anyway"

(People will be puzzling this one over for countless generations to come. It's kind of like that 'one hand clapping' or 'tree falling in the forest'-type statements. Any readers that can figure this out, you should be working for M.I.T. instead of reading web-sites about people hitting each other for a living)

"I've always represented the UFC, whether they (Zuffa) know it or not"

I could go on and on, but you guys read the interviews and enjoy yourselves. It's kind of like "Where's Waldo?" You can print the interviews and take them on the train to work, then call your friends and compare notes on what you found, and where, that was contradictory, or ridiculous, or ludicrous. Start an office pool.

Now Tony, you then make a number of statements where you essentially christen yourself the "Lee Harvey Oswald" of the UFC, an innocent, unwitting "fall guy" who somehow miraculously is accorded blame though blameless, is involved in extracurricular, negative events while serving as a kind of 'undercover' representative of the UFC, without their knowledge or permission. Could there maybe be a "second puncher" on the "grassy knoll" outside that gin-mill in England? Are there a bunch of devilishly clever 'agents' out there who are so crafty and so committed to your continued ostracism from the UFC that they manage to get their faces in the way of your fists in bars? What a conspiracy!

5/3/04 12:29 PM
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matt murdock
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Edited: 03-May-04
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The Law not only can talk to talk but he walks the walk, too.
5/3/04 12:30 PM
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Hartnett420
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Edited: 03-May-04
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You then shamelessly pat yourself on the back as you recount the story (I use the word "story" for a reason...your credibility is already in free-fall. And it gets worse for you, my friend. Much worse. Read on.) Of how "Papa" Fryklund anointed himself the "moral compass" to Tiki Ghossen as you gave him (and all and sundry other "Team Punishment" members, as the "Fearless Fryklund", with all the moral righteousness and divine wrath of Daniel in the lion's den, somehow faced down the multitudinous forces of evil through courage alone) a "lecture"... Which consisted of:

"Hey, don't put this stuff in print. If you wanna say it in the locker room, if you wanna say it amongst your team or your friends, then fine. But don't make it in print so people can repeat it and talk about it and say 'oh my God, look what this guy wrote!' I mean, we're all trying to look like professionals, and here you are making us go backwards with those types of comments, making us all look like idiots, like we have no brains." Now allow me to quote YOU again, a few pages in, as you describe Tank Abbott as ".....one of these assholes who doesn't know how to fight his way out of a wet paper bag, except for the fact that he's a big fat alcoholic piece of crap with cirrhosis of the liver, and he'll never be worth anything..." Where, oh where, was Righteous Papa Tony when YOU needed him?  Go back and read your own interviews. Then hang your head in shame. And get used to it. By the time we're done, those head-hanging muscles are going to get quite the workout. If being ashamed of oneself were an Olympic sport, they'd be putting your picture on a "Wheaties" box as I type this. Read, friend, read on.......... 

You mention in your melodramatic, fabulist fashion, that you and other members of Team Militech (you use the noun "we" to include yourself, in the context), train people until they are in "tears". Who exactly have you trained until they cried? I, and I'm sure the readership in general, would like a NAME. You said it. Now I'm calling on you to provide the name of that person or persons who you have trained to the point of sobbing. Do NOT try to 'fall on your sword' and claim it was you who was crying to save face and protect your team members at the same time; you included yourself as one of the 'trainers', and not as a 'trainee'. So, WHO WAS IT??? I'd love to know, so instead of a ring nickname like "The Headsmashing Dervish" or "Big Sky Montana", or something else equally silly, they can be known hereafter as "The Crybaby". Well, Tony, give it up.

(And by the way, STUPID, this is a question YOU should have asked Tony during the interview. Back to you later. Bet you can't wait).

You very graciously confer the excuse of a "temperature" on Niko Vitale to explain his loss to me in our second fight. That's not your place. Niko fought a tough fight, and was MAN enough to accept it, and move on. I have all the respect for him in the world. I would consider it an honor to deal with him in any professional capacity, be it fighting again, training together, what have you. I don't believe he needs you to make excuses for him. It demeans him, and it demeans you Maybe you should call him, and ask if he needs you to follow him to the ring as a newly-appointed member of the "Vitale Train", and take his temperature in the ring before all of his future fights. Or maybe you should call him and apologize. Think about it.

5/3/04 12:30 PM
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Redskins fan
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Edited: 03-May-04
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"when I use the name "Tony", I am referring to Mr. Fryklund; and when I use the name "Stupid", I am referring to Mr. Caiazzo." ROTFLOL!!!!! Lindland is hilarious. Frykland is a good talker too. I would love to be able to see this fight.
5/3/04 12:31 PM
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Hartnett420
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Edited: 03-May-04
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Another thing: Am I supposed to be bringing a sword to this fight? In one chapter of your endless, stream-of-consciousness rambling, you mentioned something about swords, and decapitation, and I'm not sure where we stand. I don't think I can get a sword on the plane, Tony... So I'm afraid we might just have to go at it with fists. Or maybe I could paint some numbers on a sword, and tell them at the gate that it's a thermometer, and that I have to...how do I say this.... ascertain your rectal temperature prior to fighting, so as to remove the whole "fever excuse" from your post-fight bag of verbal tricks.

Fighting me is a "night off" for you. So you have so little respect for the MMA fans in Hawaii that you expect them to come to the fight and pay full-boat retail for tickets to watch you have a "night off"? What contempt for the fans. Why not just ask them all to send the ticket $ to you, so that you don't even have to show up, so you can have a "flight off" as well as a "night off"? Remember, these are people who pay CASH to watch you fight. And for them to pay, for example, $40 for a ticket, they've got to make $65. (After "Uncle Sam" gets his cut.) but you, in your contempt for them, don't think they deserve anything but you having a nice vacation in Hawaii that they subsidize with their ticket purchases, and then a breezy "night off" in the ring. Can they get you anything else, Mr. "Night Off" Fryklund? Perhaps they can slice you some pineapple and do one of those fire-dances between rounds for you in order to keep your interest. Then you can clap your hands commandingly like a Tribal Chieftain and dispatch me in a matter of seconds with your fearsome skills, the very mention of which reduce your teammates to whimpering shells of men, lying in puddles of their own tears. I hate to be the skunk at the garden party, Pharaoh, but I'll do my best to keep you occupied. I think the fans will appreciate that. Oh, and by the way, without them, we're all out of business. Think about that before you behave so arrogantly, and so dismissively, towards them.

You mention my "spaghetti wrists". I take offense at that. They are known, and spoken of in hushed, reverential tones wherever fighters gather to compare notes, as my "lasagna left" and my "rigatoni right". Get it straight. But remember something. On May 7th, I'm going to serve the pasta "al dente". And there's going to be no waiter you can hand the dish to and complain that it's too hard, and ask him to throw it back in the pot. You might, in fact, discover that in the world of elite fighters, you're the "im-pasta". (All right. I apologize for that one. Even I'm gagging on that joke. Forgive me, T-man.)

5/3/04 12:31 PM
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kying418
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Edited: 03-May-04
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Just listening to Tony's live interview on mmaweekly radio...he still sounds like an idiot. Saying Lindland was very lucky against Patt, and everyone knows it. Guess what? If Matt fought Pat again, he would still kill him. Lindland will demolish Tony this weekend...I cannot wait.
5/3/04 12:32 PM
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Hartnett420
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But back to the issues at hand. You mention, in what I'm sure in your befuddled brain was a "broadside", that, and I quote again: "Greco Roman is what people do when they can't do Freestyle". You know, Tony, I'm grateful for the enlightenment. When I was winning those two National titles, and that Pan Am Games Gold Medal in Freestyle, I had no idea what a charlatan I was. God, did I have those guys fooled! But you, and only you, saw through the deception! Tony Fryklund, the "C.S.I." of MMA!! Reaching into the past to solve the mysteries of the present! You know, now that I think about it, this explains why, as the guy was slipping the Gold Medal over my head at the Pan Am Games, he whispered into my ear "..get over to Greco! You're a Bum!!!" He knew the truth... Sadly, he disappeared shortly after that....Maybe those secret agents that get you into so much trouble at bars in England got a hold of him. The intrigue!! But there you are, "Papa Tony", a shining beacon for truth and research piercing the darkness of ignorance! I could keep going, but in respect for your Coach, Pat Miletich, I am going to stop embarrassing you on this topic. You did a great job of embarrassing yourself, though.

I will return to you shortly, Tony. And when I do, I will discuss the last, but without a doubt the single most important, aspect of my communiqué' to you. Stick around; I promise it's worth the wait. Let me get a few things out of the way first.

STUPID: Were you raised by wild dogs in a cave somewhere? Do you have even the most fundamental understanding of your obligations as a journalist? Is there ANYONE HOME in your HEAD? Do you ever think about asking questions that might help to clarify your interviewee's positions? Or do you just sit there and gaze adoringly, and agree with everything they say, like that guy on "Inside the Actor's Studio" who listens to "J-LO" like she's Meryl Streep? Do you check ANYTHING? Tony mentions that he's going....."Full Bore". Which you, idiot that you are, transcribe as "Full Boar", so that we are left to wonder whether Tony Fryklund is describing himself as a recently-fed, feral, tusked pig. Legitimate journalists since the dawn of the printed word are howling from their graves at you to STOP.

A few suggestions:

-Take a few weeks off. Then quit.

-Throw your entire computer out a 40-story widow. If it still works after that, then God wants you to be a writer.

-Put on your battered fedora with the "Press" card stuffed jauntily in the headband and go investigate the following rumor: "If you sit on the train-tracks with your back to the oncoming train, it will go around you"

I've got plenty more. Get back to me once you've tried these three. On the last one, if the train does somehow go around you, stay there for a few more trains just to make sure that it wasn’t a fluke.

5/3/04 12:33 PM
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Hartnett420
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Edited: 03-May-04
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And now, finally, Tony, we get to what I've wanted you to know all along. And it's probably something that you tossed off carelessly......but it will haunt you like a hideous, shrieking, chain-rattling ghost for the rest of your career. Edgar Allen Poe said "...every man creates his own heaven.........and his own hell." And you used up every nail in the bucket with this one, my friend.

You quote your teammate and friend Matt Hughes......"Look, you do Greco when you can't do Freestyle. Those are the kids who aren't coordinated enough to go to freestyle."  When I came out to Iowa, at the invitation of Pat Miletich, who I hold in the highest regard as a person and an athlete, Matt Hughes was kind enough to share his home with me. Matt Hughes treated me with dignity, and respect. As a comrade. And I'm sure that's how he treats you, Tony. Isn't it? Knowing Matt Hughes has made me better as a fighter, and as a person. And I would sooner put out my eyes than do something to embarrass him, to quote him as saying something mean, or spiteful, or belittling, to another fighter, or group of fighters, even if, and I doubt it very seriously, he said it in a moment of anger or poor judgment. I don't believe he said what you claim he said. Not the Matt Hughes I know. And even if he did say it, I would consider it my obligation, bordering on the SACRED, to never reveal anything he said that might make him look bad. YOU evidently have no such obligations. Think about this little formula:

If Matt Hughes DID say what you quote him as saying, and you repeated it in an interview to increase your own prestige, then you are a RAT. If Matt Hughes DID NOT say what you quote him as saying, and you made that quote up and ascribed it to him in an interview to increase your own prestige, then you are a LIAR.

Either way, you sold out matt Hughes, and Pat Miletich, and the entire school, and program that they sacrificed everything to create, and were generous enough to share with you, to satisfy your own selfish, boastful, arrogant ends.

5/3/04 12:34 PM
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Hartnett420
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Go look in the mirror and pick. Cheese-eater or lying scumbag?  Choose one, then say good morning to him today, and for the rest of your life. Look into your own eyes, and drown in the ingratitude. Today, and every day.

And whatever happens on May 7th, you carry that. And those guys, Pat, Matt, all the great guys I met in Iowa, will read this, and laugh it off, and pat you on the back and say I'm trying to "psych you out".... But that's only because they're professionals, and even after you sold them out for the sake of your own petty prestige in an Internet interview, they will stand by you. But they will never trust you, and they will watch what they say around you, from now on. And as they walk you to the ring this week, remember that these are the guys who helped you, and trained you, and shared with you; like Matt Hughes shared his house with me. And they know what we both know. And I bet it saddens them. And they have you to thank. And I'm sharing with you now, whether you understand it or not. I began this note by describing it as a mental lens. That mental lens is ground ever finer by time, my friend. And you will look through it, and see things clearer still, as time does its work.

See you in Hawaii.                                 -Matt L.  

5/3/04 12:35 PM
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Redskins fan
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Edited: 03-May-04
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"You mention my "spaghetti wrists". I take offense at that. They are known, and spoken of in hushed, reverential tones wherever fighters gather to compare notes, as my "lasagna left" and my "rigatoni right". Get it straight. But remember something. On May 7th, I'm going to serve the pasta "al dente". And there's going to be no waiter you can hand the dish to and complain that it's too hard, and ask him to throw it back in the pot. You might, in fact, discover that in the world of elite fighters, you're the "im-pasta". (All right. I apologize for that one. Even I'm gagging on that joke. Forgive me, T-man.)" LOL.
5/3/04 12:37 PM
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glassjaw
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Edited: 03-May-04
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Massive LOL. This is a definitely going to be an instant classic.
5/3/04 12:38 PM
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Redskins fan
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Edited: 03-May-04
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"Throw your entire computer out a 40-story widow. If it still works after that, then God wants you to be a writer." Sorry for so many quotes. Lindland is cracking me up here. The man is on a roll.
5/3/04 12:46 PM
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kying418
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Edited: 03-May-04
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Once again, Matt proves that he is the wittiest person in MMA. Too bad, Phil and none of his Phil's fans will be able to comprehend this latest message.
5/3/04 12:48 PM
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glassjaw
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Edited: 03-May-04
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I'm sure that Fryland is a good guy that more than likely got caught up in the moment and spoke quicker than he thought. I've been guilty of that innumerous times. Lindland has to be the funniest smack talker in MMA. I can hardly wait to see how their fight turns out this Sat. Best of luck Matt.
5/3/04 12:51 PM
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Kai Tremeche
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Edited: 03-May-04
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This mofo can talk heavy smack.
5/3/04 1:02 PM
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FightWatcher
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"Could there maybe be a "second puncher" on the "grassy knoll" outside that gin-mill in England?"

Ahahahahaaa priceless. It is funny watching an intelligent man trash dumbasses.

5/3/04 1:04 PM
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PolloLoco
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Edited: 03-May-04
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LMAO! That's an AWESOME tirade!
5/3/04 1:04 PM
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Tim Spagnola
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Edited: 03-May-04
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MMAWeekly.com
ttt 4 The Law!
5/3/04 1:14 PM
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RingGrrl
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Edited: 03-May-04
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CrossFit Los Angeles
TTT for the Law! Excellent response!
5/3/04 1:18 PM
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Ghost
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Edited: 03-May-04
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Dude, how long did you spend writing that? Way to take creative writing too far, dick. I read 4 pages and STILL, I have no idea what the FUCK you are talking about. Thanks for the most pointless read ever.
5/3/04 1:19 PM
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JudoMo
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Ghost calling Matt a dick....interesting.......
5/3/04 1:20 PM
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kying418
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lol at you calling lindland a dick because you were too stupid to understand his message.
5/3/04 1:22 PM
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croman
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Edited: 03-May-04
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lol kying418....great response by The Law...kick his ass Matt!!!
5/3/04 1:23 PM
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Einar
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There are too many golden moments in that verbal beat down to quote. However: "You mention my "spaghetti wrists". I take offense at that. They are known, and spoken of in hushed, reverential tones wherever fighters gather to compare notes, as my "lasagna left" and my "rigatoni right". Get it straight. But remember something. On May 7th, I'm going to serve the pasta "al dente". And there's going to be no waiter you can hand the dish to and complain that it's too hard, and ask him to throw it back in the pot. You might, in fact, discover that in the world of elite fighters, you're the "im-pasta". (All right. I apologize for that one. Even I'm gagging on that joke. Forgive me, T-man.)" This one had me literally laughing out loud. :D NOONE talks smack like the Law!!!

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