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TMA UnderGround >> need advice please


1/17/05 3:44 PM
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beernight
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Edited: 17-Jan-05
Member Since: 10/24/2003
Posts: 2193
 
here's the story..... hooked up with a guy who I called sensei aswell as friend. This guy was one of the great tourney fighters from a great school in the US. Anyway... here's the problem. He oped up a little club at a community hall and taught when he decided to show up (otherwise it was me) he sells/sold drugs to whoever wanted it. Made students pay for "certificates" from over 2 yrs. ago in which they still have not recieved. he's 40+ yrs old having "relations" and having a 16 yr old girl living there. No real job, no real motivation for a real job. Beg barder and steel money, try to kill him self by OD. Brings hookers back to his house. and the list goes on and on and on... He never really taught me when I was over at his house to train everyday up to my black belt which he said he would get me preped. for. and while all this was going on I did what I thought a REAL martial artist should do. I tried to help him as a friend doing things like buying groceries for him when he couldn't feed his kids. gavr him my cell phone when his phone was shut off. gave dishes, stereo, anything! CONT...........
1/18/05 1:48 PM
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beernight
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Edited: 18-Jan-05
Member Since: 10/24/2003
Posts: 2194
Sorry for the late cont... Anyway, we were booted out of the hall because he missed 6 months of payments. During the summer he decided he wanted to go back starting in Sept. and asked me if we should? of course I said yes. For the next 2 months he did nothing while I phoned the hall president everyday to find out if they got something arranged. While this was going on I was running into students who were begging to have the karate back but didn't what my sensei to teach due to the things mentioned above PLUS his ex wife coming in going crazy and the booze on the teacher breath. They wanted me to teach and of course I said "This has to be all in the open because I don't want any secrets with sensei" Well it was Nov now and he did nothing about the hall so I said to the President that I would take the hall and recieve the funds so you get paid. They said it would be alright. So when I get this back to my teacher and tell hiim he says "thank God because I need the money!" I said "no,no. We dont have ANY training equipment. That is what the funds are for. I'm not doing all the labour while you get the fruits" Well from then on we arn't talking because he is accusing me of "stealing" his school and not being loyal. Anyway alot of my student wanted to know who to contact for there certificates or they were going to sue him! So I said I would contact his teacher and find out. CONT.....
1/18/05 1:56 PM
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beernight
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Edited: 18-Jan-05
Member Since: 10/24/2003
Posts: 2195
So I e-mailed his teacher about the certificates and let him know what was going on because I still wanted to be part of the oganization but I could not do it with mt FORMER sensei. Well....... I get a call from my former sensei saying his teacher said to "strip you of your black belt certification and give me back your black belt for not being a good student and not being loyal" I could not believe what I was hearing! I am only posting about 1/3 of the problems with this guy and this is what I get for what I thought was doing the right and moral thing to get things back to how they were. Now he says he doesn't want to do that because I earned it but is going to give me a couple of "choices" and I can choose which "door I want to open". So I have been trying to get a hold of him and getting responses like "oh, I'm free tomorrow, I will call you" and naturally I don't get a call. All mt students and martial arts peers are behind me because they kow his story. BUT I am now stuck in a shitty place when I know I'm right. HELP ME!
1/18/05 3:32 PM
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damaebushi
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Edited: 18-Jan-05
Member Since: 08/13/2002
Posts: 726
Loyalty is NOT a one way street, it flows both directions, or at least it should. Being a "good student" does not mean being crapped on repeatedly, standing silently by, or aiding a teacher while he/ she grossly misuses their position of power and trust. If everything you say above is true, then you need to distance yourself from your teacher or you will be viewed in the same light. And if you allow yourself to be a part of it, even if only passively, you are, to a degree, part of the problem, no matter how good your intentions. If the parent organization is aware of your teacher's behavior and condones it, then you need to remove yourself from it, too, and find one that more closely represents qualities that you believe are important. Good Assns. are hard to find, but they are out there. I know it is difficult, but unfortunately, there is no easy answer to your situation. The good news is that every time we are forced to make such difficult decisions, we grow from them. Respectfully: Fred
1/18/05 5:43 PM
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beernight
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Edited: 18-Jan-05
Member Since: 10/24/2003
Posts: 2203
Fred, Coming from you that helps me with the little bit of insecurity I have on this subject as I am %100 new to this area. I have gotten support from people around me but alot of them are new to martial arts or don't do it at all. I thank you for posting as you were the one person who's answer I was hopeing to get. I will end up having my certification striped but I don't think it matters. I am who I am. A belt and certificate don't make up who I am. Just out of curiosity. What do you think about the DE-motion?
1/18/05 6:11 PM
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kroddy_man
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Edited: 18-Jan-05 06:13 PM
Member Since: 01/01/2001
Posts: 165
Beernight (great handle there), Where are you located? Might know someone better... -km
1/18/05 6:21 PM
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beernight
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Edited: 18-Jan-05
Member Since: 10/24/2003
Posts: 2205
to be honest I would rather not post that directly on this thread because I don't want this coming back on me on anyone else in my area. BUT!
1/18/05 6:22 PM
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beernight
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Edited: 18-Jan-05
Member Since: 10/24/2003
Posts: 2206
oops, don't know what happend there.... Anyway, you are more then welcome to e-mail me at blackgi1@yahoo.ca and I will let you know where I am from. I am open to suggestions so please e-mail me.
1/18/05 6:46 PM
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kroddy_man
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Edited: 18-Jan-05
Member Since: 01/01/2001
Posts: 166
mail sent...
1/18/05 9:30 PM
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damaebushi
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Edited: 18-Jan-05
Member Since: 08/13/2002
Posts: 727
I think the demotion would be bull, but you are very correct in saying that the rank and certificate have nothing t do with who you are. You should see some of the crap kroddyman and I see from "high ranking" people who hold various "titles". Just keep doing your best and train as long as it is in your blood. If kroddyman gives you a name or any help, I can guarantee you that he is treating you right. I would literally trust him with my life. If you want to email me at fredre_55@hotmail.com and tell me where you are, I will see if I know of anyone close by. Chances are, though, that kroddyman will know the same people. I wish you well, and if I can personally help you at all, drop me an email and I will do what I can. Hang in there and follow your instincts. It seems you have good ones. Some teacher and/or some organization will turn up and be glad to have you and treat you right. Respectfully: Fred
1/20/05 4:14 PM
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bsktrap
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Edited: 20-Jan-05
Member Since: 06/10/2002
Posts: 922
sending you email now
1/20/05 4:39 PM
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Ogami Itto
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Edited: 20-Jan-05
Member Since: 11/12/2002
Posts: 12028
Cut him loose. You've done all you can. Assume the mantle of leadership.
1/20/05 5:35 PM
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beernight
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Edited: 20-Jan-05
Member Since: 10/24/2003
Posts: 2211
We were supposed to meet Monday night to discuss my "choices" but he never called me back and I think I will end up declineing the "meet" as we have not spoken since. As far as steping up to the plate, I have no doubt I can teach my students quality martial arts. But there are things I do worry about like "curiculum" (I know its not hard to figure out whats "begginer" and not but.....) and being part of a "team" or "organization" I feel is important to my students and to be honest me as well.
2/21/05 11:21 PM
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Soho
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Edited: 21-Feb-05
Member Since: 03/26/2002
Posts: 77
Forget the place...don't worry about the rank...never go back to that guy and find a gym where you can work out and have a good time...
2/22/05 12:14 AM
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bigbrando
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Edited: 22-Feb-05
Member Since: 10/15/2002
Posts: 315
Beernight, you've done the right thing and also thought about other people ahead of yourself. You'll be a great teacher and don't let anyone else tell you differently. Stuff happens and with your former sensei looks like you'll have to cut him loose just as everyone else is suggesting. Regards, Bigbrando

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