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DantheWolfMan UnderGround >> Fear


3/7/02 8:32 AM
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ghoyd
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Hello Mr Blauer, What are some ways to deal with fear in the street encounter? I have heard you are the guy to talk to about this, and in my opinion we all have a bit of it (and it is probably a healthy thing). I am sure this is a question you are tired of answering, but I am new here. So if you already have this in an earlier post or on the net somewhere, just feel free to point me to it. Thanks for your time, Gary Midwestern Jun Fan Fighting Alliance www.geocities.com/ghoyd/
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Tony Blauer
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Blauer Tactical Systems, Inc.
Gary, Welcome to the forum. Fear....hmmm the rpely to that is so vast that its impossible to offer a succinct answer. Aside from urging you to explore my website thayt has over 70 pages and almost all intros and explanations offer some insight into the various ways I incorporate fear management into EVERYTHING I teach [its that important], so aside from that and checking out the ARCHIVED threads inside the MENTAL EDGE, the key to fear management is in being able to distinguish between the biological and the psychological impact of fear. Here is a small section form my PERSONAL DEFENSE READINESS MANUAL *Available through my company and not AMZON.COM :-) ---- 2 ﷓ Thou Shalt Not Defeat Thyself The mental side of combat is so vast and powerful that it quite literally determines your next move. Dan Millman wrote, “When faced with just one opponent and you oppose yourself… you’re outnumbered.” Powerful words. Your mind can be your ally or your most formidable opponent. Your thoughts can motivate you or they can create the Inertia State of psycho -physical paralysis. Psychological fear leads to doubt and hesitation. Unchecked it can devolve into anxiety and panic. Unsolicited, a ‘Victim’s vocabulary' starts: What if I lose? What if it hurts? What if I fail? Thoughts like these must be eliminated from your vocabulary for you to perform at your peak. Your ‘self talk’ or 'internal dialogue’ must be positive, assertive and motivating. Your inner coach must empower you to greater heights, to surpass preconceived limitations, to boldly go where…you get the picture. That is what it means to not defeat yourself. ------- SOME MORE.... ------- 4 ﷓Thou Shalt Not Fear Fear. More dangerous than your opponent is your mind. If it doesn’t support you you’re ¾ beaten before you’ve started. There are really only two types of fear: biological and psychological. Fear (biological) has been generally described as the “fight or flight” syndrome for most of our modern history. This definition does not serve us once the physical confrontation is under way and is really not pertinent to your success. Though the adrenaline surge created by your survival signals is a component of success, it is the mind that ultimately determines the action you will take. Psychological fear, on the other hand, is an emotional state. Therefore it can be controlled and used to create action. However, due to the lack of good information on fear management, fear, as we feel it, usually creates emotional inertia: your body’s inability to move. Inertia or panic is created by psychological fear when the mind visualizes failure and pain. Understanding this process is necessary to conquer fear. We use three acronyms, to help us remember that psychological fear is only in our mind. They are: Psychological F.E.A.R. 1. False Evidence Appearing Real (External stimuli that distracts us; physical evidence: weapons, multiple opponents, etc.) 2. False Expectations Appearing Real (Internal stimuli that distracts us; how we visualize, images of pain and failure.) 3. Failure Expected Action Required (A trigger to DO SOMETHING!) Cus D’Amato, a famous boxing coach, said, “The difference between the hero and the coward is what they do with their fear.” The next time you feel it ﷓ fight it. Challenge your fear. Attack your fear. Do not fear fear. We all feel it. Fight your fear first then fight your physical foe. This is one of the true ways of growth. Copyright 1994 – 1999 Blauer Tactical Confrontation Management Systems -------- Hope this shed some light, if you're really interested in this subject, we offer a ton of info on this through written, audio and video educational options. Again, welcome to the forum. Tony Blauer
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Glenn Sunshine
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Mr. Blauer, A question on a related front: my daughter has a very difficult time coping with stress of any sort; she tends to fall apart pretty quickly as soon as she feels out-of-her depth or when she questions her ability to live up to her own self-imposed expectations. For her, I think this is the most immediate self-defense issue she needs to deal with. It seems to me that some form of fear-management training should have spillover benefits for her. Is my intuition correct? If so, can you point me to which materials would be most appropriate for an 11 year old? Thank you very much. Yours, Glenn Sunshine
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Extreme Justice
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Glenn, Try Coach's "Cerebral Self Defense" audio. This tape possesses alot of key concepts on Fear Management. As it is an audio, your daughter can take and listen to it anywhere for inspiration. I recently purchased and viewed Tony's coaching video and although it is directed towards an audience of tournament competetors, the information on Fear Management is priceless and can be applied in any environment. There is much more available, however these will help at an introductory level. Hope this helps out and good luck! Sean
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Glenn Sunshine
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Thanks, Sean! GSS
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Tony Blauer
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Blauer Tactical Systems, Inc.
Glenn: Your inuition is right on. All my info on the psychological side of performance is generically presented so that it has impact into the areas of life that one needs it most. I cannot tell you how many emails I've recieved regarding the audios transcendental effects on business, relationship, genral confidence and so. The hook is personal safety, but the research works for any area of life. Good luck. Go to this link on my site: http://tonyblauer.com/ManageYourFear.html Copy & paste it. Also, not knowing how precocious or intellectual she is, you'll probably need to guide her with ideas and suggesitons after you've studied the info. Tony
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Glenn Sunshine
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Tony, She's a smart kid intellectually, which may be part of the reason she puts so much pressure on herself. I'm not only her dad, but also her main kung fu instructor, so the relationship can get a bit weird at class times .... I've been trying to teach her breath and energy management as a way of keeping emotional control as well as improving physical stamina. It works sometimes, but not consistently enough: she just doesn't seem able to breathe well when under heavy stress. I'll certainly work through the material and help her with it in any way I can (and that way, I benefit from it too!) Thanks for taking the time to answer, Yours, Glenn Sunshine
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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ghoyd
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THANK YOU!
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Tony Blauer
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Blauer Tactical Systems, Inc.
'I'm not only her dad, but also her main kung fu instructor' Very delicate situation. Its wonderful that she trains with you but very difficult for a child, especially her age to grasp the nuances that have taken you years to understand. I do the same with my son. I want him to do what I see. In my PDR manual I dissect the difference between 'capacity' and 'potential' - you need to check that out, powerful paradigm shift. "Motivating people based on percieved potential does not create results as fast as motivating people based on their capacity' -TCMS MAxim To paraphrase Tom Arnold speaking to Schwarzenegger in TRUE LIES [about Arnold's daughter[: "You're not her father Axl Rose is and Madonna's her mother!" There are times we need to back off and let life do some teaching. Just a thought. She's lucky to have such a caring Dad. Good luck. Tony
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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ghoyd
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Wow, some great stuff here! I have now had some time to review a lot of it. Funny Glenn mentioned that he is his daughters primary kung fu instructor, because I am my daughter's as well (JKD & Wing Tsun), so the thread applied to both of us. The "capacity" vs "potential" thing has given me much to think about as well. Great site Mr. Blauer. I am going to link it to mine. Would you mind if I posted this thread on my forum (with your link and copyright of course)? I think this is something all people (not just martial artists) should be aware of. It could even help direct some people to your site. THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR TIME AND INPUT, it is MUCH appreciated, Gary Hoyd ghoyd@yahoo.com
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Tony Blauer
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Blauer Tactical Systems, Inc.
GAry, Be my guest, post away and check out the ARCHIVES, tons of info there too. I love inspiring new ideas and directions and appreciate that you appreciate it as well. BTW: Did you get a chance ot read the post from Rich Beaupit, a JKD Unlimited instructor? It was about training, kids and open minds. POwerful stuff. Tony
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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ghoyd
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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I can't find that thread :-( But found many other great posts so far.
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Glenn Sunshine
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Tony, Thanks for the thoughts. I guess what I'm trying to accomplish with her in the kung fu classes centers on helping her develop confidence and improve physical attributes--at this stage, it's less about self-defense conventionally understood and more about helping her learn about how her body works and how to use it more effectively. She does very well in school, but when she doesn't do as well as she thinks she should she falls apart emotionally; this also happens in kung fu classes when she gets gassed, generally during the warm up. This is what triggered the thoughts on fear management, emotions, and in her case, breathing. I know all I can do is be a signpost for her. She's going to have to learn on her own, as ultimately all learning is done. I want to help her find the best and most efficient route to learning, though, but I also recognize that life will teach her more than I ever will. I'll check out the PDR manual as well. Thanks again for taking the time to help. Yours, Glenn
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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taroson
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Glenn, I have, a daughter who has similar, but slightly more serious problems... During the last 4 years she has battled with depression. A little over a year ago I attended a Tony Blauer seminar and began a serious study of his material on many levels. I don't want to sound melodramatic or overstate the case, but within the last year my daughter has improved academically, socially and emotionally. At present, she is totally off all medicine, which is almost a miracle considering that at one point she couldn't leave her bedroom without breaking down in tears. Being in touch with Tony's work has been a tremendous help for my whole family. When you get the PDR, read it like you would The Tao Te Ching or The Book of Five Rings. Though she may not be much of a fighter, to me, my daughter is a true warrior because she has been able to overcome so much adversity, but again, much of the inspiration and guidance I was able to provide came from seeds planted straight from the PDR. You sound like a very intelligent man and a caring father. I hope the PDR and TCMS concepts are as great a help to you as they have been to me. If there is anything you would like to discuss on a less public forum, feel free to email me at mikmatsu@softcom.net Sincerely, Mike Suyematsu
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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Tony Blauer
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Blauer Tactical Systems, Inc.
Mike, It took a lot of caring and courage to open yourself like that on the forum. I thank you for sharing this here. As always, I wish you the best. Tony
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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taroson
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Tony, The entire Suyematsu clan owes you a great debt. Thank you for your continuing inspiration. It helps more than you know. Mike

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