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DantheWolfMan UnderGround >> getting nasty


7/5/06 9:56 AM
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kuriaki
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Edited: 05-Jul-06
Member Since: 01/01/2001
Posts: 38
 
I have a problem which I think is quite rare and strange. My problem is that when I am in a confrontation I can't get away from being the "nice guy". I can't release my agression and "get mean/nasty". For example, in a situation where I must strike first because of possible imminent danger, possible injuring someone, I can't do so, even though the other guy would not hesitate to hurt me. Another guy already got the better of me in a confronantion because of this. I have the same problem if I have to use an improvised weapon in my own defense. How do I change from being the meek and mild guy to the more mean guy that I have to be in these situations?
7/5/06 5:41 PM
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ahlong
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Edited: 05-Jul-06 05:41 PM
Member Since: 11/24/2004
Posts: 37
Kuriaki, BTS has a couple of important concepts that need addressing with relation to your question (which are all addressed on Tony's audios - if you haven't got them yet, you can order them from www.tonyblauer.com). Firstly, can you walk away from the situation? That should be priority. Remember Detect>Defuse>Defend. Cliche though it might be, physically defending yourself should be a last resort and only if there is no other choice. Don't let your ego get in the way of your safety. Secondly, assuming you could not just walk away or talk your way out of it, what (in your mind) is going to force you to defend yourself? Tony often relates a story of a beaten down woman with multiple injuries beating off the same guy who attacked her daughter, when she rushed to her mothers aid. Tony says that self-defence is an issue of procrastination, because most people would fight back alot sooner when they are protecting someone else than they would when protecting themselves (BTS Be Your Own Bodyguard Principle). Whatever it is that is personal to you now and that you are passionate about now will be a major part of your motivation to fight back, if necessary. Hope that answers your question. In any case, get a hold of the audios, and some videos from the Blauer Library - in regards to this sort of psychology, some you might like are ABC's of Street Attacks, Panic Attack 96 Level 1, Scenario and Attack Specific Threat Management, and Rape Safe (best overall self-defence video). They will all help alot more than this. Trevor Wilcox
PDR Team
7/6/06 7:24 AM
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kuriaki
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Edited: 06-Jul-06
Member Since: 01/01/2001
Posts: 39
Yes, I have the tapes and they are good. I am still struggling with this problem though. Another problem is that out of a group of guys, I am often the one who gets picked on. A number of people have told me that it's because I give the impression of being as easy target. I know guys who are not big and can't fight at all, but I appear to be an easier target for anyone who wants to start trouble.
7/6/06 10:08 AM
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Scott Boyce
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Edited: 06-Jul-06
Member Since: 11/06/2004
Posts: 10
Kuriaki, Predator and prey decide their fate before there is any action. If you have that look on your face like you are scared to death, you probably will be picked. Who would you rather fight, the one that looks very confident and wants to rip your face off or the other guy who looks like he does not want to fight? Gain some fear management skills. You said you have the audio series, then listen to it again, and again and again. If you did some scenarios like the ones you are thinking of this will increase your ability to handle them. But you have to do them properly. Where do you live? If possible, find a PDR coach in your area. He/She would be happy to help you through this and this way, you know you are getting the right info. Either way keep taking action. You are doing that by posting, but don?t stop here, keep the momentum going. I hope this helps you out and that you keep looking for the answer(s), good luck to you.
7/6/06 11:04 AM
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kuriaki
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Edited: 06-Jul-06
Member Since: 01/01/2001
Posts: 40
I live in Botswana. No PDR coaches here. This forum is the only source for most info that I need.
7/6/06 1:36 PM
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taroson
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Edited: 06-Jul-06 01:46 PM
Member Since: 01/01/2001
Posts: 98
Kuriaki, It sounds to me like you have come to believe you can't find your indignation which more or less traps you in the role of victim. If you already have the Performance Enhancement audio then write out the Cycle of Behavior. When you get to the Beliefs segment, you will be able to see how they are effecting you internally, which is reflected in your external performance. Check out this paragraph from the PDR manual: LIMITING BELIEFS: Many of us have been fed negative programs during our life and these 'ideas' eventually become our very own erroneous beliefs. And they severely handicap our growth. How often do we say or hear statements like, "you can't", "That'll take too long." "I'll never be able to do that", "What's the point?". The list goes on...you get my point Beliefs that do not serve your goals, success, happiness, or dreams must be purged from your mind. This is an easy process...unless you believe it is too hard. Please think carefully about that paragraph. You will never move past the problem until you change your mind. (The mind navigates the body.) On the positive side, you now have the perfect template for training, created by your friend and (as Tony so wonderfully puts it), your very own Spiritual Guide....F.E.A.R. First, (and most difficult), find a few training partners you can trust. Using the Emotional Climate Training model, begin slowly with simple Encroachment drills. Notice how your natural reactions start to lock and load you whole close quarter arsenal. This is the science and magic of the S.P.E.A.R. system. Set up some simple scenarios, perhaps using past events where you waited too long before you were able to get into action. Have your partners use Verbal Assaults, easy at first, then more and more realistic so you can listen to your internal dialog. Write out script with some simple things you can say in advance that are in line with the scenario you are practicing. Work the Primal, Protective and Tactical S.P.E.A.R. positions explore your physical options at each position. Use realistic street attacks and work ECT over and over. Remember: What you have done is in the past. What matters is what you can do now. Keep training holistically and stay current on all of your skills, so you will know what you can really do...today. Listen to your tapes over and over. As your experience increases, so will your ability to understand and apply the knowledge to all different aspects of your life. You have isolated the problem. Now educate, evaluate and move past it. Tony has provided the formula, now you must do the work. Good Luck Kuriaki. Mike Suyematsu
7/7/06 3:18 AM
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kuriaki
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Edited: 07-Jul-06
Member Since: 01/01/2001
Posts: 41
Toroson, what you say is very inspirational. I'd love to have a training partner. None of my friends are interested though. For the time-being, I need to do training drills that I can do alone. Botswana is light years behind the rest of the world when it comes to this kind of stuff. Everyone I know thinks that this stuff is silly.
7/7/06 6:02 AM
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taroson
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Edited: 07-Jul-06 06:15 AM
Member Since: 01/01/2001
Posts: 99
Kuriaki, Don't be discouraged. Finding good training partners is hard no matter where you live. The main thing is for you to examine your belief system and throw out the garbage. Challenge yourself by moving past F.E.A.R. in your life. Move forward in increments you can handle and G.A.R. (Goal, Action, Result, from the Cycle of Behavior). As far as having people think you are silly... Imagine how Tony must have felt when as a brash teenager he began creating his own system. No matter what others may have said or thought, his passion for the truth and belief in himself resulted in his success today. Become a Warrior and find a way. The internal change is the most important. Make it and the rest will fall in place. Take Care, Mike Suyematsu
7/7/06 3:45 PM
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Scott Boyce
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Edited: 07-Jul-06
Member Since: 11/06/2004
Posts: 11
Kuriaki, You are not alone my friend. Just do all that you can for yourself. If you don?t have a training partner right now that does not mean you can?t train. Don?t fixate on that just focus on what you can do and do that. Like Michael said move past your fear. If you expect you ?can?t? train just because you have no one who is interested then you probably will not train. There is so much you can work on that is not physical. Go back to the tapes, videos or get some new ones. Don?t give up whatever you do.
11/18/06 9:02 PM
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DerekNRF
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Edited: 18-Nov-06
Member Since: 11/16/2006
Posts: 1
Kuriaki, I have just joined this forum, and I have just attended Blauers Tactical Systems PDR # 14. The amazing thing about Coach Blauers System is the way his training allows you to reach out and help people...One of the many light bulb moments or holy-shit realization I had during the PDR # 14, which may help you, was creating a personal directive or a personal mission statement. The key is the three P's PERSONAL, PASSIONATE, and PRESENT. I am still working on mine... but it contains when faced with the threat of an attack "I will do whatever it takes to live another day to have my 3 year old son, greet me at the door and run into my arms at the end of my shift". Today when I walked throught the door it was my best day... I hope this Helps Take Care & Stay Safe Derek Moulton

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