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DantheWolfMan UnderGround >> Gettin in Trouble


3/7/02 8:32 AM
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TKDboy
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
Member Since: 01-Jan-01
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Hello everybody I don't know where to really put this but oh well. Hope u can help. I have a big predicamint and i know it seems like a simple answer. But it is much more I am in grade 10. 15 years old. I have been in tkd for about 10 months. I am usually punched or grabbed in school by lots of people not really hard but sometimes it hurts and it gets really annoying. And i know i sound dumb but i can't tell the teacher or anyone or they will just get there stupid 20 year old friends to beat me up later. If i punch them back they will just punch me. So the only real way is too punch them super hard or use kicks and beat them. But then i will get kicked out of the school. Should i try and defend myself with my full power? thanks for the help
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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taroson
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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TKDboy, Mr.Blauer and many of the members of his PDR team are busy in an advanced session. I'll post some thoughts, based on my understanding of Mr. Blauer's PDR Manual. First and foremost, it would be helpful if you could open your mind a little and expand your definition of 'self defense'. Mr. Blauer teaches us that the best way to defend yourself is to never be in a place where you would have to fight. Could you simply avoid the problem by changing your routine? You have already trapped yourself in your own mind by saying, "I can't tell the teacher or anyone or they will just get their stupid 20 year old friends to beat me up later." You are visualizing a negative result in the future. It is not a fact. It is a belief... You are also trapping yourself into believing that fighting hard (with punches and kicks) is the only way to solve the problem, but that is also just something you are visualizing that is tied to your beliefs...It has not happened yet. As parent, I would ask that you start by telling your Mom or Dad or legal guardian about the difficulties you are having. Next, go to the Vice-Principal of your school and let him or her know that you are being hassled. It is part of their job to take care of issues like this. You have the right to attend school without being physically punched or pushed. Most schools have some form of Conflict Resolution program. Check it out. Many times these kinds of things are solved by coming together and talking it out. It could be that simple. Next, have a word with your Instructor. If he or she tells you the only way to solve this problem are to punch and kick, then quit the school immediately. I'm hoping that you have a good teacher who can help you work through this. At least part of this problem is confronting your own fear. Mr. Blauer teaches us to look for the root cause of our fear. What are you really afraid of? Is it the physical pain of the punches? Is it the emotional pain of being made fun of or looking bad in front of everyone? Be honest with yourself doing the best you can to isolate and define your fear. Here is an excerpt from the PDR manual: THOU SHALT NOT FEAR FEAR Psychological fear...is an emotional state. Therefore it can be controlled and used to create action. However, due to lack of good information on fear management, usually creates emotional inertia: your body's inability to move. Inertia or panic is created by psychological fear when the mind visualizes failure or pain. Understanding this process is necessary to conquer fear. We use three acronyms. to help us remember that psychological fear is only in the mind. They are: False Evidence Appearing Real (External stimuli that distracts us, in your case, the punching and shoving) False Expectations Appearing Real (Internal stimuli that distracts us, how we visualize, images of pain and failure, in your case the 20 year old friends who will beat you up) Failure Expected Action Required (A trigger to DO SOMETHING) In your case Defuse and De-escalate, get your family and teacher involved. Negotiate with the troublemakers. Talk to your instructor. Change your routine. Fight only if you have no other options. Challenge your fear. Attack your fear. WE ALL FEEL IT...This is one of the true ways of growth... TKDboy, there is a ton of information available to you through Mr. Blauer's company. I would suggest you get your hands on his three audiotapes and if you can, a copy of the PDR. Good luck with your problem. I hope this helped. Take Care, Mike
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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KENWINGJITSU
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Taroson... Excellent advice!
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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nowaydo
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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Great!
3/7/02 8:32 AM
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coreym
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Edited: 07-Mar-02
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TKDboy, Let me add a few things to Taroson thread. If you can talk to these people and tell them to stop doing that, it may solve your problem. Let them know how you feel and tell them you will not tolerate being hit or grab on. If that does not work, do be ashame to tell your principal or your parent about the situation. Maybe they can do something about it. If those bullies call there older friend to attack you, call the police. Cause now it a criminal matter. With today's school violence, you need to tell somebody about this problem before it escalate into a violent situation. Ultilize all non-violent methods to defuse to situation before fighting. If you have to defend yourself, do it. Corey

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