Pro MMA fighter gets challenged to a street fight

Friday, June 23, 2017

The video begins with an intelligent man saying off camera, “You don’t even know what the #@$%s is going on right now, do you?”

A tall man who doesn’t even know what the#@$% he is doing is on the sidewalk, walking aggressively towards a notably smaller man. The little guy is back pedaling, trying to keep distance.

The first line of defense is and always is to keep your hands up. The second line, if it is available, is to keep far enough away from your opponent so that he cannot reach out and touch you in the nose.

The pair square up and one of the men is not like the other. One of the men is trained in fighting, reportedly a pro MMA fighter. He throws and lands a low kick, that lands with a satisfying thud. The nature of low kicks is such that a guy of sufficient size, especially drunk, can take one. Then a second low kick lands, and the taller guy takes a tell-tale hop – that hurt.

A smooth left hook drops Clueless Lurch, who unwisely gets back up.

Lurch then passes his wrist watch off to a friend and runs at the fighter. Problem is when you have suffered two clean low kicks with no knowledge of defense, you run like Pee-wee Herman on ice.

A third low kick lands before Lurch is dropped with a shifting straight right. At this point, the fighter has thrown three right low kicks, one left hook, and one straight right. All five shots landed, causing two knockdowns.

Then Lurch makes his last mistake of the evening – he tries to get up again, and slowly. Although soccer kicks are prohibited under the Unified Rules of mixed martial arts, on the concrete, PRIDE rules hold sway. Lurch is out.

One of Lurch’s friends determines that this is a fine time to shove the fighter. There is a little Neo Footwork around a telephone, and with the same calmness you see in a cage, the fighter approaches the shover, who blurts out “I don’t have a problem.”

He does, actually.

At the end, the camera cuts to a rotund, perhaps homeless man, crawling out from under a nearby bush. Or maybe he was the first one end up on the wrong side of the trained fighter …

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