I'm the White Dog -
Sometimes my wife lets me porrada -
I'm the White Dog -
Age of consent in your state is 16 so that's that.
If you know the instructor to be a bad apple who preys on young girls, you leave that gym in a heartbeat if the owner is aware and okay with that crap.
If this 25 year old is a solid guy and just happened to hit it off with a younger girl who he can legally date in his state you are the one with the problem for being upset over this.
When I was in my mid to late 20's (25-28) I was a personal trainer at a gym in a state where 16 was the age of consent. The 16-18 high school girl crowd was constantly coming on to the trainers at my gym and so I saw both sides of this. The girls are down and legal, so check your jealously at the door. The question is whether the older guys are causing problems for the company. It was rarely a problem because when given the choice between a college age girl who can stay the night/you can stay the night with and a girl who has to go home to mommy and daddy by 10pm and can't have boys sleeping in her room with her, you choose the girl that comes with fewer burdens. But that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with dating a girl who is legal.
If the girl is legal then it really is case specific and all you've told of this story is that you're bothered by it so there's really no way to answer your question.
By the tone of your post you seem overly invested in white knighting for this 16 year old who is willing and able to consent to sex with an older guy. If it bothers you leave, but you might be giving up on your gym of 9 years because of an issue you have, not the other parties. If you've been there 9 years and loved it you would have seen other scummy behavior that would have soured you toward the gym by now.
Might want to assess your reaction and see if that isn't the real problem.
It's legal in parts of Mexico to sleep with 12 year old girls. It may be legal but that shit isn't right.
16 is way too young for a dude who's closer to 30 than 20.
My youngest daughter is 16 and I have friends who are 25. Big difference in everything from interests to maturity and I will break arms and legs and fingers and toes if I found out one was creeping with her, regardless of the law.
I told you recently on the phone about the time the girl lied to me about her age and the shit it almost caused. I avoided young girls like the plague in my later teens and early 20s and for good reason.
Only going to respond to you because it's you. The projections and reaction formations from so many others are just too much for me to want to deal with, but with you it's different so here goes.
A 16 year old girl is not a 12 year old girl. That analogy was bat shit brother, it just was. No one is talking about a 12 year old girl here.
If he's closer to 30 then she's closer to 20-you don't get to round up one of them and not the other so that doesn't work either, unless you're cool making this about a 30 year old and a 20 year old and if that's a problem for you then my sexual history will end our friendship.
Your daughter... your daughter, is 16. That is not what is being talked about here. No fucking way in hell I'm letting my daughter at 16 date a 25 year old unless I know the guy like the back of my hand and know him to be solid af... even then I'm wondering why he can't find an older girl. But that is not what is being talked about here. OP is just a student at a school where he claims this is going on even though it's supposed to be a secret that OP somehow found out about... hmmm... so OP is probably full of shit but it's still worth talking about, however, we are not talking about anyone's daughter, that's just drama queen nonsense. If her parents are so out of it they don't know about this or don't care, then I as not her parent don't care either since it's none of my fucking business.
The girl that lied to you about her age was not legal in that state... so again, not even close to the same situation as the OP. The girl in the OP is LEGAL... and not 12 but 16. Yes, two years younger than most states allow but legal all the same. Fucking a 16 year old in an 18 and over consent state is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SCENARIO, it just is because the psychological profile of a guy willing to risk prison time and lifelong sex offender status for a piece of ass is a really bad profile... like rapist bad. This 25 year old does not fit that profile and almost certainly only wants it kept a secret because of the possible overly dramatic emotional reactions he might see as a result... like in this thread for instance. The girl who lied to you about her age was not traumatized by the experience she wanted to have, but you were to an extent as you should have been because it was prison time you were looking at, so you don't fit that profile. And neither does this 25 year old.
All we are talking about here is the OP-and just for the record, state legislatures decide who is an "authority figure" and bjj instructors ain't on that list. Not even sure doctors are but maybe. Step parents, school teachers, etc, yes, but not bjj instructors for fuck sake.
The only see black/white holier than though crowd are ALWAYS the ones who barf out projections and reaction formations ad nauseum... and it is disturbing to me to see another mental health professional in this thread doing that exact thing because of all fucking people he should know better and have enough self-awareness to catch it before he posts it for fuck sake.
If you think 25 and 16 in a state where 16 is legal-and the 16 is not your damn daughter (you couldn't get me to fuck a friend's 16 year old daughter if you put a gun to my head-that is another COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SCENARIO) then you don't want to be friends with me. Only reason I didn't bang a 16 year old who would not stop coming onto me when I was 28 and living in Nevada was because I was with Carrie and she is so fucking hot no other woman could even interest me. If I'm single... I probably hit that.
Love you brother but I think you're being overly emotional and making subjective analogies that don't exist here.
The 16 year old is down, she is not your daughter, the OP has trained at this gym for 7 fucking years and loves his gym so the 25 year old is not preying on young girls or OP would have seen other such behavior. He just hit it off with this girl he trains with and she's legal so that's fucking that.
If I"m OP I wonder why 25 year old is willing to deal with the constraints of dating a girl who still lives with her parents but other than that it's none of my fucking business.
Edit: Saw the missed call. Will call you tomorrow brother.