David Jacobs' BJJGround Children Faking Injuries....How to resolve?

19 days ago
5/30/03
Posts: 41765

This is for all the instructors and parents...how do you deal with this?  I'm not talking about faking an injury because they're losing in a tournament.  The child is saying that some part of his body is injured, and miraculously he is able to continue if you put him to roll with a weaker opponent.  But during the match (which he will dominate), he will still fake the injury so that he can use it as an excuse to not face tougher opponents.  He may limp, hold his arm, etc.  

 

We've all done this as children.  You take X-Rays, and there is nothing wrong with the arm.  How do you resolve this because obviously it's a psychological issue.  

19 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 4396

I ask the kid if he is hurt and if he says "yes" then I say "ok, sit over there"

 

Then I have the class play a super fun game instead of rolling. When he wants to join I say, "Nope, you are hurt, safety first!" 

 

Then he sits and watched everyone have a blast

18 days ago
5/30/03
Posts: 41766
Brian McLaughlin -

I ask the kid if he is hurt and if he says "yes" then I say "ok, sit over there"

 

Then I have the class play a super fun game instead of rolling. When he wants to join I say, "Nope, you are hurt, safety first!" 

 

Then he sits and watched everyone have a blast

This is the method that works for me as well but Iwant him to get over using his "injury" as a crutch 

 

He's using it to get over challenging himself 

Edited: 18 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 35749
I had an adult Krav MAga instructor do this once. The guy owned a School in the Bay Area. He got "injured" at an instructor camp because we were doing BJJ, which he didn't like. Soon as BJJ was over he was fit as a fiddle to practice (literally) rifle disarming techniques.

One of the instructors told me he does this "every time" they are forced to do any grappling.

Not a good personality trait.

18 days ago
1/24/06
Posts: 739

I always validate first. "What happened? Yeah that would hurt." This is key even if you know they're faking it. Then I let them know injuries/bumps etc happen but they dont stop us from doing things "I know your hands sore but you can still do "insert cool activity" cant you?". 95% of the time they jump back in next round.

I also publicly praise every kid that has tears, small injury etc 100% of the time they jump back in when we line up at the end of class so everyones getting the message reinforced.

This works on both the "fakers" and the kids that are still getting use to the bumps etc.

And I have to say in 4 years of junior BJJ I've only had three real injuries that concerned me.

18 days ago
6/5/14
Posts: 352
Brian McLaughlin -

I ask the kid if he is hurt and if he says "yes" then I say "ok, sit over there"

 

Then I have the class play a super fun game instead of rolling. When he wants to join I say, "Nope, you are hurt, safety first!" 

 

Then he sits and watched everyone have a blast

This exactly, the kids learn quick how shit works 

Edited: 18 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 549

i do this thing that my old judo instructor used to do to us as kids. if we got hurt, he would have us merely jump up and down. if we could do that fine, he would just send us back in to train.

 

I also do this thing with my own kids in asking them if they are hurt or injured. hurt means it hurts but you can keep going. injured means that something is more seriously wrong and that you can't continue.

18 days ago
5/16/08
Posts: 886
The Maestro -
Brian McLaughlin -

I ask the kid if he is hurt and if he says "yes" then I say "ok, sit over there"

 

Then I have the class play a super fun game instead of rolling. When he wants to join I say, "Nope, you are hurt, safety first!" 

 

Then he sits and watched everyone have a blast

This is the method that works for me as well but Iwant him to get over using his "injury" as a crutch 

 

He's using it to get over challenging himself 

This!

18 days ago
5/16/08
Posts: 887

I asked them "Does it hurt a lot?" If they say no, I say cool, go back to train. If they say yes, I smile and say very cool, go back to train. If they say they can't, I ask them if they need to go to the hospital, they say no. I ask them if they need  a brake. Then I proceeded to either sit them down for the rest of the class if I know they are faking it. Play a fun game at the end where the faker is not allowed to play. I also talk to them at the beginning of the class that what we do is full contact sport and are only for tough kids, there is nothing wrong in been wimp, there a bunch of wimp kids out there and they  are fine, but been wimp is a choice, if they train with me, they must be tough and all the wimps that are training need to stop complaining and work their way up to tough. If they get hurt and feel like crying, they can cry for 5 seconds,  shake it off and go back to train. If they brake something, they can cry for 10 sec, shake it off and go back to train.  

It works. 

18 days ago
8/15/07
Posts: 18070
Tell them glory hurts. If nothing's detached and you're not spurting blood, you're not injured. Get back out there.
18 days ago
8/28/10
Posts: 12830

Give em something to cry about?

18 days ago
10/23/12
Posts: 34

Tell little Erberth to suck it up!

17 days ago
6/30/14
Posts: 34441
Sometimes my wife lets me porrada - 

Give em something to cry about?


I've seen your son

he'd make half this forum cry lol
17 days ago
2/5/06
Posts: 3178

Happens a lot with boys who don’t like to lose. It’s a terrible habit to reinforce and I rarely let them get away with it. 
 

if they keep it up I walk them over to their parents and tell them “he says he’s hurt but I’m not buying it maybe you can talk to him.”

 

Almost every time the parent is mortified and tells the kid to get back on the mats. Unless it’s a mom, then they baby them. 

17 days ago
8/28/10
Posts: 12832
Fan of Fanboys -
Sometimes my wife lets me porrada - 

Give em something to cry about?


I've seen your son

he'd make half this forum cry lol

he's now 6ft and ripped with muscles, he makes me cry lol

How's your boy? It's wrestling season how's he doing so far?

15 days ago
1/1/01
Posts: 4398
The Maestro -
Brian McLaughlin -

I ask the kid if he is hurt and if he says "yes" then I say "ok, sit over there"

 

Then I have the class play a super fun game instead of rolling. When he wants to join I say, "Nope, you are hurt, safety first!" 

 

Then he sits and watched everyone have a blast

This is the method that works for me as well but Iwant him to get over using his "injury" as a crutch 

 

He's using it to get over challenging himself 

I find a kid that is getting his butt kicked but keeps pushing forward and I publicly praise the Hell out of him and give him a stripe. 

 

I have a "pitbulls not poodles" speech I give which basically talks about the honor in fighting hard and that the pain of losing is nothing compared to the shame of cowardice

15 days ago
5/30/03
Posts: 41773
tf1 -

Happens a lot with boys who don’t like to lose. It’s a terrible habit to reinforce and I rarely let them get away with it. 
 

if they keep it up I walk them over to their parents and tell them “he says he’s hurt but I’m not buying it maybe you can talk to him.”

 

Almost every time the parent is mortified and tells the kid to get back on the mats. Unless it’s a mom, then they baby them. 

This is exactly what's happening. It's difficult because moms are moms and they do what moms do. The child learns to manipulate the situation but it's to their own detriment. Unfortunately it's very difficult to have this conversation with a child. They don't understand how it will hurt them in the long run 

14 days ago
2/1/08
Posts: 1645

How old is the kid?

14 days ago
2/1/08
Posts: 1646

And does he ever roll w/ tougher opponents?

9 days ago
9/12/06
Posts: 217
judoinmotion -

I asked them "Does it hurt a lot?" If they say no, I say cool, go back to train. If they say yes, I smile and say very cool, go back to train. If they say they can't, I ask them if they need to go to the hospital, they say no. I ask them if they need  a brake. Then I proceeded to either sit them down for the rest of the class if I know they are faking it. Play a fun game at the end where the faker is not allowed to play. I also talk to them at the beginning of the class that what we do is full contact sport and are only for tough kids, there is nothing wrong in been wimp, there a bunch of wimp kids out there and they  are fine, but been wimp is a choice, if they train with me, they must be tough and all the wimps that are training need to stop complaining and work their way up to tough. If they get hurt and feel like crying, they can cry for 5 seconds,  shake it off and go back to train. If they brake something, they can cry for 10 sec, shake it off and go back to train.  

It works. 

”If they brake something, they can cry for 10 sec, shake it off and go back to train."

 

Are you talking about fractures or needing to take a break? "Braking" something implies that you're letting your kids operate heavy machinery which is probably in violation of most Judo Associated Child Program guidelines. ;)

 

 

8 days ago
6/30/14
Posts: 34507
Sometimes my wife lets me porrada - 
Fan of Fanboys -
Sometimes my wife lets me porrada - 

Give em something to cry about?


I've seen your son

he'd make half this forum cry lol

he's now 6ft and ripped with muscles, he makes me cry lol

How's your boy? It's wrestling season how's he doing so far?


well, add your son to the list of people that can kick my ass lol

we have not found a new wrestling club so it is just bjj for him right now. he is there 3x-4x/week. hoping to get some mats for the house next year. but he is loving it, competed 3x in 2019 and wants to compete more than that in 2020.

he is big into the warrior kid books and such. does his push-ups each morn and night, getting him a rogue wall mount pull-up bar. like you, trying to raise a future savage