GeekGround List Wolverine & Batman pwned

Edited: 9/1/06 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 12025
He was practically crippled from that fight ("moving like an old man, no speed and less strength") and had to be saved by Rogue when Viper was about to shoot him, because he could do nothing about it due to his injuries. Also, he said in the beginning of the issue that he recovered from the poison before he and Rogue went sloothing. I'd interpret Wolverine's comments as, "damn, I'm not 100%", not as literal fact, but it's been a while since I've read the issue. In any case, it certainly wasn't months before he was up and around. And anything lethal enough for Wolverine to even notice should have left the other x-men dead....another thing Claremont brushes over. Also, the "months" of healing thing comes from the MU; as far as I know, his recovery time from the Shingen fight was never actually written about in a comic. I'm fairly certain it's a voice-over from the original Wolverine limited series by Claremont and Miller on the last page when the wedding invitation is mailed to the x-men.
Edited: 9/1/06 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 12026
Anyhoo, my point is that Claremont ain't the end-all, be-all authority when it comes to the abilities, powers and personalities of the x- characters. Claremont doesn't own the x-characters, Marvel does. And while Claremont had the longest run, his voice is no more authoritative (and no less authoritative) than anyone else who had their stories ok'd by editorial and published by Marvel. At least, imo.
Edited: 9/1/06 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 5653
In the eternal words of the author of the Flash Rant, ". . . Wolverine sucks cock and should go die in a freak greasefire." The Flash rant is my favorite Wolverine Pwnage. And as far as Batman pwnage, I gotta go with Selina Kyle slapping him around in Year One.
Edited: 9/2/06 12:00 AM
08/08/2003
Posts: 1085
"ennis punisher doents beat everybody with no effort, just overrated fanboy wet dreams like wolverine. ennis clearly acknowledged that daredevil would beat the crap out of frank in a fair fight." I know, I agree. I worded my first post wrong. What I meant was "Wolverine... Beating everybody with no effort is crap." Part of the reason I like the Punisher is that he takes waaay up there charaters and pulls them down a notch. He humanizies them. It's kind of like watching the really quite kid from a rough home getting picked on by a star athlete, and suddenly kicking the crap of mr popular. Secertly I think we all hate people that are "too" perfect.
Edited: 9/2/06 12:00 AM
05/11/2004
Posts: 7814
You guys are right. He'd probbably take out Conan and Deathstroke rather easily as well.
Edited: 9/3/06 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 35392
Punisher would get mangled by Deathstroke. and I REALLY like Punisher.
Edited: 9/4/06 1:32 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 3057
Swamp Thing put a beatdown on Batman once. Batman didn't realize he could inhabit multiple bodies. Swampy later acknowledged that Batman could probably kill him if he "had time to prepare". ;-) Wolverine has taken some horrific beatings, but only from A-list heroes/villains as far as I can remember.
Edited: 9/4/06 8:44 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 4428

Shucks - I clicked on this thread hoping it would be .jpegs of said pwnings, not a retread of old arguments.

*commences thread hijack*

Wolvie owned by Kitty Pryde (in ninja demon fashion):

Edited: 9/4/06 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 4429

Wolvie owned by the Thing (maybe this is why Wolvie slashed Thing's face ~10 years later....):

Edited: 9/4/06 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 3058
Ted, technically speaking I would say that's more a victory for Ogun than Kitty. But the Thing KO is pretty awesome! Didn't know Ben could move that fast.
Edited: 9/4/06 12:00 AM
08/01/2003
Posts: 14154
I can't remember -- I know Kitty was under Ogun's spell or whatever, but she wasn't actually possessed, was she? I thought he just taught her the skills and then warped her mind so that she'd use them against her friend, in which case it was her skills and not Ogun's that won that fight.
Edited: 9/4/06 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 12033
I know Kitty was under Ogun's spell or whatever, but she wasn't actually possessed, was she? I thought he just taught her the skills and then warped her mind so that she'd use them against her friend, in which case it was her skills and not Ogun's that won that fight. Kitty was possessed. Her hand to hand abilities skyrocketed afterwards because Claremont decided that Kitty retained that knowledge as a result of her possession.
Edited: 9/4/06 12:00 AM
05/11/2004
Posts: 7836
The Thing KO is a good one. HOWEVER it should be noted that this took place immedietly after Rogue (who's superhumanly strong, class 50) came flying at the Thing VERY fast and hurled Wolverine into him (sort of like a flying fastball special) at full speed like a missle. Thing was out for a minute and then got up to face a badly bruised Wolverine. After the KO Reed Richards told Thing, " Fortunately for you Ben Wolverine was still too dazed from your initial impact to act as quickly as he did when last we fought. His adamatium claws could probably cut even your skin." Now Reed Richards is the smartest man in the Marvel Universe. It's safe to say he knows what he's talking about and it's true. Wolverine would normally have ZERO problems evading such an attack.
Edited: 9/4/06 12:00 AM
05/11/2004
Posts: 7837
As for the Kitty Pryde incident....You will NEVER see a story where Wolverine in his right mind will fight Kitty and give it 100% (as in killing her). He loves her too much, she's like his daughter.
Edited: 9/5/06 8:11 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 4435

^^^^ Of course - but there's a little bit of a difference between (A) not striking to the jugular of a friend and instead avoiding their attacks and (B) taking a thrust to the heart :-P  All things considered, he shouldn't have taken that hit, or at least not taken it so squarely....

And now, to throw a match into a pool of gasoline: Wolverine geting PWNED by (as some have described him) a feeble, unskilled, OLD man wielding nothing more than a stick:

Edited: 9/5/06 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 4436

 

Edited: 9/5/06 12:00 AM
01/01/2001
Posts: 4437
*whistles innocently and casually strolls away from impending flame war*
Edited: 9/5/06 12:00 AM
09/22/2005
Posts: 1179
These threads aloways make me hate wolverine more. Especially when people come on and justify every panel in which he isn't winning. As stated earlier in the thread 'and that is why Wolverine sucks and should die in a freak greasfire'.
Edited: 9/5/06 7:24 PM
05/11/2004
Posts: 7925
OK let's talk about the infamous "stick fight" w/ the old man. All you have to do is post the previous page where Wolverine is attacked w/ poisone tipped shuriken that knock him out cold.....When he awakes he's sitting in a room w/ shingem Mariko, and the Sumos..... Wolverine clearly states that when he wakes up he is still feeling the affects of the poison. He thinks that might make this fight equal, but he was wrong. The poison slowed him down considerably. shingen clearly set this up to level the playing field....Johnny would LOVE IT if that little tidbit about the poison and it's affects on Wolverine wasn't in the story story...but it is. All you have to do is fast foward to the end of the series where a NON-POISONED Wolverine kills Shingen in a very short fight ( immedietly after battling and killing over 100 Hand assasins). It was never close and Shingen was not going to walk away from that one. I know Johnny Blaze would like to make some dumb comment on how I'm searching for something here, but please....That's the way the story was written, it Wolverine's own dialogue, and Frank Miller even drew pretty pictures to illustrate it for blind Wolverine haters like Johnny...Even though he would have us completely ignore all of those points in the story to further his odd anti-Wolverine crusade.
Edited: 9/5/06 7:34 PM
05/11/2004
Posts: 7926
Daredevil73-"...lol @ the way SKARHEAD rationalizes everything away. He lives off of De Nile obviously."------------------------------At least I back it up w/ facts and continuity, not blind, sensless hatred like Mr. Johnny over here. I also don't feel the need to add a bunch of weak minded cheap personal insults in my responses to cover up my lack of logic, continuity, or debating skill. It just makes him and his argument that much weaker. BTW Daredevil was owned by Stick of all people.
Edited: 9/5/06 12:00 AM
05/11/2004
Posts: 7927
"These threads aloways make me hate wolverine more. Especially when people come on and justify every panel in which he isn't winning. As stated earlier in the thread 'and that is why Wolverine sucks and should die in a freak greasfire'."----------------------well then you need to post some better examples where the actual story and dialogue won't contradict you. I have no problem at all w/ the times Wolverine has lost completely fair fights (w/ out outside interference or poison). He's lost to guys like Hulk, Cable, and Cyclops in fights that were totally fine. getting sucker punched while fighting 4 guys or fighting while feeling the affects of a strong poison do not qualify as clean victories for the other guy.
Edited: 9/5/06 7:36 PM
05/11/2004
Posts: 7928
Just some of the things in that story (Frank Miller/ Claremont pages on prevous page)that Johhny would like to pretend are not there.... Wolverine: "Shingen's grace belies his age. He's in perfect condition. I'M NOT. I figure that makes us even." " I roll w/ the kick, cursing the POISON for SLOWING MY REFLEXES." Anyone who disagree can just read it for himself. Johnny might need to read it 5 times before he understands what he's looking at. What he wants is for everyone to only pay attention to the specific parts of the story that further his weird agenda, and to simply ignore the parts that contradict him. I'm sure that's exactly what Claremont and Miller had in mind when they wrote/drew that story. It was all meant to be ignored, that's why they put it there. They had Johnny in mind .
Edited: 9/5/06 12:00 AM
08/01/2003
Posts: 14192
"All you have to do is fast foward to the end of the series where a NON-POISONED Wolverine kills Shingen in a very short fight ( immedietly after battling and killing over 100 Hand assasins). It was never close and Shingen was not going to walk away from that one." Jeez, how many times am I going to have to correct your warped interpretation of this? 1) We see maybe a dozen dead ninja, most of them with crossbow bolts in them. I can see how that was exhausting for Wolverine, a guy who doesn't get tired in any case because of his healing factor. 2) The "very short fight" is four pages in a 20-page comic and I don't see how it can not be "close" considering the fact that if it weren't for his healing factor, Wolverine would have been killed; even so, it took him months to recover. "What he wants is for everyone to only pay attention to the specific parts of the story that further his weird agenda, and to simply ignore the parts that contradict him." How ironic!
Edited: 9/5/06 12:00 AM
05/11/2004
Posts: 7930
"Cable took on Wolverine and Bishop at the same time in Xcutionar's Song or whatever it was called."--------------------------He didn't take them on, he was running away and didn't want to get caught. Have you ever tried to catch and restrain a big ass dude who simply did not want to get caught ? Even w/ help it's very hard to restarin someone who's goal is to simply not get caught. This is why cops often need 3-4 officers just to restarin one crazy mofo or crackhead. People hell bent on getting away are hard to contol, even w/ handcuffs , sticks, and pepper spray. BTW I'm well aware that Cable has beaten Wolverine before in fair combat. I may not have liked it (or Cable), but it happened fair and square.
Edited: 9/5/06 8:02 PM
05/11/2004
Posts: 7931
orcus-"....1) We see maybe a dozen dead ninja, most of them with crossbow bolts in them. I can see how that was exhausting for Wolverine, a guy who doesn't get tired in any case because of his healing factor. 2) The "very short fight" is four pages in a 20-page comic and I don't see how it can not be "close" considering the fact that if it weren't for his healing factor, Wolverine would have been killed; even so, it took him months to recover."---------------------------- 1.) Actually the story SPECIFICALLY says that he killed over 100 Hand assasins. Does Frank Miller have to actually draw every single 100 of them for you to understand this ?? Also, I highly doubt Wolverine went in and killed 100 Ninjas w/ just his crossbow. He brought alot of weapons w/ him, I'm sure he used them all (including his claws), but that is neither here nor there. 2.) The fight was never close or intense and Shingen was never going to win. Shingen landed exactly one good sword thrust that may have taken a while to heal, but did not slow Wolverine in any way whatsoever.Then Shingen was dead on that very same page. The panel even had Wolverine smirking as he shish ka bobbed Shingen's head. He didn't look too worried.